


Good For The Spirit

by MaresThird



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:31:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 126,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaresThird/pseuds/MaresThird
Summary: When Tobin reconnects with some high school and club soccer friends, a trip to the state park hiking and camping sounds like just what she needs to clear her head. Who knew it would only take hours out in the woods for Tobin to be alone and fighting for her life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea popped into my twisted head. 
> 
> Slight AU where certain characters are not soccer players. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. Let me know if you like it.

“Honey, before you leave can we go over some dates?” Tobin’s mother asks her. Tobin slumps her shoulders a little as she finishes putting the clean dishes back in the cabinet. It’s the last night of her quick visit to Basking Ridge. The Thorns had played Sky Blue the other night and she stayed for an extra two days to visit. Well, yesterday was her soccer camp and today was a family visit. Tonight, she was going to grab a drink with Perry before they both headed out of town tomorrow. 

“Sure Ma,” Tobin says as she pulls out her phone and slides into a chair at the kitchen table. Her Mother has her calendar out on the table and multiple invitations and other papers. 

“Okay,” her mother says as she puts on her glasses, skimming over the invitations. “Here’s what’s going on!” she announces. 

The next twenty minutes are spent with Tobin shaking her negatively on being able to attend most of the variety of family functions. Her mother tries her best to hold back her disappointment but Tobin can see right through it. 

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Tobin says softly. 

“I know dear,” her Mom gives her a sad smile. “It just makes it all the more special for the ones you can come to.” 

Tobin sighs, “I feel bad for missing all of these things.” 

“I know honey,” her mom says as she rises from the table and comes around to Tobin and gives her hug. “Everyone understands. You have an incredible job and you have time for parties later.” 

 

 

“It just sucks,” Tobin shakes her head as she finishes her second beer with Perry. “I feel like I disappoint her every single time I have to say no.” 

Perry lays her hand on Tobin’s, “She understands, she just misses you, you know? She wants us all to be together.” 

“I know,” Tobin sighs as she fiddles with the label on her beer bottle. “I just wish my schedule was a little more open."

“Is that Tobin Heath?” a voice rings out from the left of where they sit. Tobin glances at Perry with wary eyes. She’s not totally comfortable with being recognized in public. Strangers make her nervous. Ever since the World Cup she’s had a few run-ins with some over eager fans who really made her feel unsafe.

Tobin turns her head to the direction of the voice and is surprised to see two women her age. They look faintly familiar to her. Tobin cocks her head to the side as the two approach her and Perry. 

“Tobin! I didn’t know you’d be in town!” the shorter one exclaims happily. Tobin squints at them trying to place their faces. 

“Mara Jaworski and Liz Malcolm!” the taller one exclaims, introducing themselves. “We played on the Wildcats together!” 

A wave of recognition flashes over Tobin’s face. “Oh yeah, hey, how are you guys doing?” she smiles. 

“Good! What are you doing here?” Mara asks.

“Just out for a drink,” Tobin explains. “You guys remember my sister Perry?” 

“Hey ladies,” Perry greets. 

“Hi!” they both greet. 

“So, what’s been going on with you guys?” Tobin asks politely, glancing at Perry. Perry gives her a slight nod and smiles. 

 

 

“I haven’t seen those guys in ages!” Tobin exclaims as Perry drives her back to their Mother’s house. “They were always so much fun on the team.” She smiles remembering their antics as youngsters. 

“Weren’t they the ones who instigated the Great Bus Incident?” Perry asks with a grin. 

“Oh man,” Tobin laughs. “I don’t remember. I’ll have to ask Mara about that.” She says. The three women exchanged numbers after visiting for a bit. 

“Don’t you think they’re a little rough around the edges?” Perry asks Tobin seriously. She got a weird vibe from Mara that seemed a little off. It was just a feeling, but one she couldn’t shake. 

“Come on, Per,” Tobin grimaces, “we haven’t walked in their shoes.” She admonishes. 

“I know, I know,” Perry sighs. Sometimes her sister is just too friendly. 

The next morning Tobin says her goodbyes and heads to the airport to get back to Portland. As she settles into her seat on the plane, Tobin mentally reviews her visit. The camp was so much fun, she really loves sharing her soccer knowledge and trying to inspire young players and give them a positive attitude towards the sport and life in general. She’s been laying the groundwork of the next chapter in her career by being part of the Thorns Developmental Academy as an Assistant Youth Technical Director. This allows her to help organize the trainings and skills she feels players will need to learn and grow into the sport. 

She smiles thinking about the long talk she had with her college coach Anson about this opportunity and excitedly told him about how she envisioned her long-term goals. She still wasn’t sure that coaching would be part of it but she was excited to be able to start now. She was so grateful to the Thorns for allowing her the opportunity to work with them and learn while still playing. She relaxes back into her seat and sticks her ear buds in to drown out the noise of the plane and shuts her eyes for the flight home. 

 

 

A couple of weeks fly by as the second half of the Thorns season kicks in to high gear. They’re solidly in second place with a chance to catch the New York Western Flash and the whole team is working as one unit. Tobin’s been so proud of her team, every player has bought into Mark’s vision and every day they all give him their best. Some days it’s mentally draining, especially an outside practice in chilly rain but they suffer through knowing they have one goal: the NWSL Championship and adding another star to their crest.  
With school being back in session, her DA obligations are much less. They won’t pick up until winter break and she hopes to be a part of it unless she’s called in for National Team duties. She’s kept in touch with Mara and Liz, meeting up with them when they played in Boston. She took them to dinner as a thanks for coming to the game and they had a fun night. 

She really enjoys their company and the crazy texts and snapchats they send her. Mara tends bar at a tavern the next town over from Basking Ridge and Liz is an office drone as she calls it. It feels good to Tobin to reconnect with them. They talk a lot about soccer and when they played together and how life took them on different courses. Tobin realizes how she blessed she is to be doing what she’s doing and how the lives of Mara and Liz turned out differently. It makes her think back to her time with the Youth National Team and all the other eager teammates she played with who haven’t made it to this level. 

She wonders why soccer calls to her so deeply and was always the easy choice for her. Family party or soccer? Soccer, just about every single time. Here she is, twenty-nine and single while others are married with kids and soccer just gets her every time. She wonders if she’s just not cut out for relationships. Sure, she’s been in a few before but the only one that was super serious ended in disaster. It hit her like a ton of bricks, that day, she never saw it coming. It makes her cringe just thinking about it, how she had no clue she was being cheated on. She was blamed for everything, the long distance, the away games, the National Team, the Olympics, the World Cup. Not being there emotionally.

It took her a long time to get over it and sometimes she thinks maybe she isn’t completely because it’s been two years and she hasn’t even gone on one date. Allie thinks she’s scared of being hurt and Tobin can’t argue with that. Who in their right mind would just jump back in and let their heart be torn apart? Maybe she’s using soccer as a crutch, an excuse to not let herself have feelings for another person. Maybe she just hasn’t met the right woman who can change how she feels about it. Someone that would be worth the risk to her heart. 

Mara and Liz contact her again in the beginning of September and ask if she’d be around Portland in mid-October for a three-night camping trip not far from her. Every year the two girls take a trip to a National Park at different times of the year to hike and camp and they want her to join them. Tobin checks her schedule and she could do it. It sounded like a good time. Maybe seeing some mountain views up close and being out in the woods would be a good change of pace for her. Yeah, she thinks, this would be good. Especially since they’re practically coming to me and I don’t have to fly anywhere. Spend time with old friends and get out of Portland for a few days before her National Team commitments. 

 

 

This year has been a year of change for Tobin. Lauren’s surgery and HAO retiring, Allie getting married, her sister Katie getting married. The debacle at the Olympics. 

She doesn’t even want to think about the National Team right now. It causes her anxiety. Major anxiety. She always been told and believed to respect her coaches as a youth. She did so willingly, believing in their experience to guide her talents and get the best performance from her and increase her playing abilities. But now, aside from an obvious alcoholic coach she had during her teen years, she finds herself struggling with her current coach. And not just any coach but the coach of the USA Women’s National Team. The team that represents her country. She’s filled numerous pages of her journal to vent her feelings and allow her an outlet for her frustrations. She hasn’t brought it up exactly with anyone besides Allie and that was one night a couple of months ago after one beer too many. Allie simply shook her head with a grimace muttered something about being made a fool on the national stage and she was glad for the company. 

She shakes her head to clear those thoughts as she enters the dates of the camping trip into her calendar and texts Mara and Liz back confirming that she’s in for the trip. She smiles and nods as she thinks about the fun they’ll have. They’re going to Mt. Hood State Park and she’ll meet them in Sandy at the check in where she’ll leave her car. From there it’s a little drive deeper into the park and they can leave their vehicle in a designated parking lot and hike out from there. 

Tobin’s looked over the map and calculates it’s a half day hike up to the ridge to overlook the lake they intend to camp at for two nights. She excitedly goes to her storage unit in the basement of her apartment building and makes a couple of trips to gather her camping gear. 

 

“What the frickety-frack, Tobin?” Allie asks as she surveys Tobin’s living room. She came over for dinner the night before their semi-final game against the Flash. They’ve won the Shield and now they’re hungry for the Championship. Tobin picked up a knock during their last game, bruising her right knee against Sky Blue. She’s been babying it all week and she’s glad it’s not anything more serious. In a few weeks the National Team will meet in Utah for a friendly against Switzerland and Tobin wants to play. 

“My camping trip is next week,” Tobin explains. 

“You going for a month or what?” Allie grumbles as she nudges away a sleeping bag so she can walk across the living room. 

“Nah, just a few days,” Tobin grins, missing Allie’s sarcasm. 

“So, tell me again who you’re going with? I didn’t recognize their names?” Allie asks. 

Tobin fills her in on how she went to middle and high school and played club soccer with Mara and Liz. 

Allie looks at her intently. “So,” she says slowly, “you don’t really know them? And you’re going hiking in the woods with them?”

“I know them,” Tobin defends, first her sister and now Allie with the attitude. “I’ve known them practically my whole life. We just lost touch and now we’re catching up.” 

Allie raises her hands in surrender, “Okay, Tobs,” she says, “It’s just a little weird though.” 

“Well, if you met them you wouldn’t think so,” Tobin states with an edge to her voice. 

“Hey, it’s cool,” Allie shrugs, “if you trust them, it’s cool.” 

“I just need to get away for a bit, you know. I’ve got things on my mind and going to the woods sounds like a perfect place to get my head straight.” Tobin explains with a much softer voice. 

“Okay, I know,” Allie comforts, “but you could have asked me. I would have gone with you.” 

Tobin lets out a belly laugh. “Harry, we both know you’re idea of camping is staying at a Holiday Inn instead of a Hilton.” 

Allie laughs with her because it’s true. “Just be careful okay?” she asks. “Watch your step.” 

Tobin gets dinner started and they chat easily about their upcoming match. 

 

Tobin hasn’t cried at her locker since 2011 when they lost the World Cup. She’s gutted. She gave everything she had, even hopping on one leg at times. This loss, it hurt. After the Olympic loss, she was too pissed to shed a tear until much later when she was slightly drunk, alone in her hotel room. 

After Mark finished his speech and left the locker room, their captain, Christine Sinclair, gave a heartfelt speech about the positives of the season and how proud she was of every single person in the room. She had an impressive observation to make about every player in the room. Tobin smiled through her tears, humbled by Christine’s passion for the game and love of her teammates. She was greatly impressed by their leader who ended up having all of them laughing at the end of her talk. 

Tobin and Christine were the last to leave, Christine coming out to find Tobin standing on the dark pitch alone. She slung an arm around her and they walked off together. 

Tobin moped around the next morning and afternoon, icing her sore knee and listening to depressing music. When she wasn’t napping, she was replying to well meaning texts from friends and family. She contemplated getting wasted but she wasn’t much of a drinker and the idea of a hangover had little appeal to her. So, that evening, she set up her easel, brought out her paint tray and began to paint. She liked to paint abstracts and some impressionism styles, quick, fast strokes, little forethought, just slapping the paint on the canvas and seeing what she could create. 

She fell asleep on the couch, groaning when she awoke the next morning, stiff and uncomfortable. After stretching out, showering and eating breakfast, she drove over to Providence Park, cleaned out her locker and got a check up on her knee by one of the trainers. They confirmed it was just a bruise and recommended she continue icing and alternating with heat for the next few days. One of them gave her a tube of Arnica to lessen the pain and promote healing. 

Texts from Mara and Liz exclaiming only two more days until their trip got Tobin excited and she began to sort through her gear to assemble what to pack. She made piles of her equipment, sorting through the necessities. She had read somewhere about the amount of gear you take with you into the woods is equal to the amount of your insecurities. It was a balance to bring the necessities and a few tools for any unpredictable situations. 

Mara and Liz told Tobin they would provide the food, carrying it between them. To keep their packs light, they would eat mostly MREs. Tobin would bring some snacks. They’d all bring their own water. Mara already paid the camp fees, Tobin would buy lunch on their last day. 

She ran out to the REI store and purchased a foam sleeping pad and browsed around and picked up some chocolate energy gels, a few pouches of soups and smoothies that you just add water to. She thought she’d try them and if it got really chilly, it would be a nice surprise for Mara and Liz to pull out some soup to make. In the back of her head she also thought that if she really liked them, they’d be great for her owner dinners. She wasn’t much of a cook. As she was heading to check out, she spied a folding, short-handled hand saw. It was only six inches long, but if they had to cut any wood, it would come in handy. She already had a stainless steel cook pot, some utensils, a utility knife, flint striker, weather proof matches and a multi-tool to bring. 

When she got back home, she carefully checked the weather for the next five days, googling various weather websites and hiking sites. She laid out her long sleeve Under Armour shirts, leggings and her Nike Pros and sports bras. A few t-shirts and flannels, remembering that cotton kills for hypothermia. She had plenty of the dri-fit stuff to keep herself comfortable. Athletic socks, two pairs of wool socks for the nights, three pairs of her heavy Columbia outer pants. Her medium weight rain jacket, her Columbia puffy blue winter jacket. A beanie, gloves, a poncho and her glasses. Minimal toiletries. Two small chamois cloths. First Aid Kit. At least six water bottles. Her small tent and ground tarp.

After finishing her prep work, Tobin took a break. She was satisfied she had everything she needed but liked to lay it all out a day early so she could review it all before she packed it up. She would check the weather again tomorrow and see if she needed warmer clothes or if her layers would be fine. 

 

“You’re really going to stay in Portland for the winter?” Allie asks, her eyebrows high. 

Tobin shrugs, “Yeah, pretty much. I’ve got DA stuff to do soon, then we’ll be going to Utah.” She looks around the restaurant where they’re having breakfast. “I don’t know, I just don’t feel like travelling everywhere right now.” 

Allie looks at her intently for a moment before dropping her eyes to focus on her food. She chews her bacon thoughtfully before speaking. “Are you okay?” 

Tobin looks up quickly, surprised by the question. “Yeah, totally.” She answers. 

Allie shakes her head. “You not travelling the world in the off season is like me willingly staying at a Holiday Inn.” She smiles kindly. “What’s going on?” 

Tobin leans back in her seat and takes a sip of her tea. She sighs. “It’s petty and I’m embarrassed to say it.” 

“Come on, it’s me,” Allie urges, “what’s up, Harry?” 

Tobin leans in with her mouth scrunched up, contemplating how to say what she’s feeling. “I just, uh, I’m sick of being the one that has to travel everywhere?” she looks up at Allie. “We fly around so much for the Thorns and the National Team and it just seems like it never stops.” 

Allie nods as she eats a bite of her toast. 

“If people really wanted to see me, they could come visit me maybe?” Tobin confesses. “It’s like, no one offers. Just, when ya coming out Tobin? It’s expected and I’m tired of it.” She can’t believe she just let that out. She takes a deep breath and blows it out of her mouth. She’s skimming the edge of her tea cup with two fingers. 

Allie nods again and takes a sip of her coffee. “I understand what you’re saying. You’ve kind of cultivated this image as a professional wanderer without a home, so that’s how people see you. Perception is reality to them.” 

Tobin nods in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right.” 

“So, maybe you could start seed planting to your family and friends that they could visit you. Like, actually say those words to them.” Allie suggests. 

“But it’s like, an expectation now,” Tobin sighs. 

“You have the right to change their expectations. The DA job is perfect. You have a reason to be here. Of course, saying that you actually don’t want to travel is another reason. Your job here wouldn’t be as harsh.” Allie observes. 

“Hm,” Tobin says as she takes a bite of her fruit. She nods. “Maybe I also just want to hang out. Like, actually live here. You know, be here for more than two weeks at a time. See the seasons change.” 

“You should.” Allie smiles. “It’ll be good for your spirit.” 

“Thanks, Har.” Tobin says gratefully. She looks at her watch. “What time does your flight leave?” 

“One. I need to finish packing and get the pups to boarding. We’ll both be back in town Sunday night, right?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. 

“Good, ‘cause I wanna visit you Monday. Plan?” Allie smiles. 

“Plan. Bring the pups and we’ll do something.” Tobin smiles. “Invite Bati for dinner Monday after work.” 

“Sounds good.” 

 

She’s all packed and ready to go. After watching the latest weather reports, Tobin added two wool sweaters to her clothing to take and a fleece blanket for inside her sleeping bag. There was a chance for rain and maybe even snow, but the chances looked low. She’s scheduled to meet Mara and Liz at the main check in station in Sandy. She’ll leave about seven to give herself enough time. 

 

Tobin is staring at the large map of the park on the wall, her neck craned and eyes following the path she would hiking. She’s startled when she hears a raspy voice next to her. 

“Can I help you?” 

Tobin turns to see the most beautiful blue eyes she’s ever seen. A woman, about her age, dressed in a ranger uniform is looking at her intently. She’s beautiful, Tobin thinks, oh shit, I’m staring, say something you idiot! 

“Uh, hey,” Tobin says awkwardly, “just checking out the park.” 

“You planning on doing any hiking?” the woman asks with a hint of a smile.

Tobin nods, “I’m waiting on some friends so we can check in and then drive up to another lot.” Tobin explains with a nervous smile. 

Tobin notices the woman looks her over, “Well, you seemed dressed for it.” She comments and then looks at her again. “Have you camped in this type of weather?” 

“Tobin,” Tobin introduces herself, sticking out a hand she hopes isn’t sweaty from being so close this gorgeous woman.

“Alex,” the ranger replies as they shake hands. 

“I have actually,” Tobin admits scratching at the back of her neck. “Went on one of those Outward Bound trips a couple of years ago outside of Denver. Brought my winter jacket, rain coat and a poncho.” She smiles. 

Alex nods. “Good.” She says simply. “Where you headed for this trip?” 

Tobin’s finger follows the road from the station to the first parking lot and then the trail to the lake. She looks at her watch, “I’m going with some old friends from high school. They should be here any minute.” 

They stand there awkwardly for a moment. Alex looks so familiar, Tobin thinks. “So, um,” Tobin begins, “anything I should watch out for while we’re out there?” 

Alex smiles. What a beautiful smile she has, Tobin thinks. 

“The sunrise is amazing above the tree line.” She answers. “Keep an eye on the weather, there’s a chance it could get nasty tomorrow afternoon. Might blow in down from Canada.” 

“Will do,” Tobin smiles at her. “If we have to cut it short, we will. No use taking chances.” She says easily. She pauses for a minute. “Listen, this isn’t a line or anything, but you look really familiar to me. Have we met before?” 

The doors bang open and they both turn to face the source. 

“Tobin!” Mara bellows. “Hey bud, you ready to party?” she comes over and gives her a bear hug. 

“Yo, let me get some of that!” Liz exclaims, edging Alex over to pick Tobin up and swing her around. 

Mara and Liz are both dressed in jeans, sweatshirts and gym shoes, not exactly hiking outfits. Tobin begins to wonder what she’s gotten herself into. 

Alex makes her way behind the desk and gets out the forms they’ll need to complete and the sign in book. 

Tobin gives her an apologetic look and flashes her a quick smile and small shrug as she fills out the paperwork out. Liz and Mara are joking around as they complete their forms and sign in. 

“Let’s go!” Mara orders as she heads out. 

“Yeah Tobin, grab your shit and meet us at the car.” Liz says as she heads out the door. 

Tobin glances at the door and then at Alex, she feels embarrassed by the two. 

“Um, so maybe I’ll see you when we get back Sunday?” she asks hopefully. 

Alex flashes her a quick nod. “Wouldn’t mind hearing about your trip.” She says as she flips the book closed. 

Tobin grins and backs away from the desk, nodding. “Okay, yeah, I hope so.” She turns to the door and grabs the handle. 

“Be careful Tobin,” Alex says softly. It stops Tobin in her tracks. She looks at Alex and sees concern in her eyes. 

“I will,” she answers just as softly as she leaves. 

I can’t believe Tobin Heath of all people just entered my station, Alex thinks shaking her head after watching Mara drive out of the parking lot. Five more minutes and Tobin would have remembered me. It’s been years, after all, she thinks. She’s so sweet, I wonder what the Hell she’s doing with those two idiots. They weren’t dressed for hiking, they look more like the walk in the woods to drink and smoke some weed types. 

Tobin looked embarrassed to be with them, she remembers the smile she gave her and the little shrug. Maybe she doesn’t know them very well. I look forward to seeing her on Sunday, maybe we can talk again then, she thinks as she busies herself with planning the fall leaves activities for the children’s program. 

 

“Just take a hit, a little one,” Liz giggles as she thrusts the joint in front of Tobin. 

She shakes her head. “Dude, I can’t, I get drug tested for work.” She explains. They’re sitting around a small campfire, dinner over. 

“Always the goodie two shoes,” Mara laughs. 

“Come on, man,” Tobin says, “it’s cool, but not my thing.” She looks over at the two sitting close to each other and getting increasingly sillier. She suspects the water bottle they’re sharing doesn’t contain water. 

“You know,” Liz pipes up, “you blew us off for so many years. You left us hanging back in that shithole of New Jersey. We were gonna be the Three Musketeers and take on the soccer world.” 

“Yeah, thanks for changing your phone number and never telling us.” Mara adds darkly. “We had a business plan for you to get in on and we could have been millionaires. But no, you wouldn’t answer our calls.”

Tobin tries to remember when they could’ve called her and can’t. 

“I called your Mom and she wouldn’t give me your number, she just said she’d tell you I called.” Liz says a bit angrily. “That was in 2012 Tobin. What the fuck?” 

“I’m sorry guys, I don’t think I ever got the message. That was a really busy year and the Olympics and a alot of games all over the country. I’m sorry.” 

“Well, it never crossed your mind to reach out to us, so, whatever.” Mara says and takes a long drink. 

“Yeah, we’ve got a better idea now.” Liz giggles and Mara elbows her swiftly. 

“Shut up about that.” She says crossly. She looks at Tobin. “I think we’re gonna head to bed. See you in the morning.” And with that, the two struggle and giggle their way into their tent leaving Tobin sitting alone by the fire. 

Well, this is not at all what I thought this trip would be like, Tobin thinks. I had no idea they were harboring such anger towards me. Maybe we can talk it out tomorrow, when they’re sober, she thinks. She douses the fire, making sure there are no embers glowing and covers it with dirt. She quickly picks up the empty pouches from dinner, stuffing them in the garbage bag she brought and cleans the spoons they used.

She changes her clothes, trying to quickly put on a fresh top in the chilly night air. She snuggles down into her sleeping bag, warm and toasty, hearing giggles and muffled speaking from the tent a few yards away. She tries not to think about Mara’s harsh words to her and the animosity behind it. Maybe tomorrow we can sort it out, she thinks. I wonder how many other people from school feel that way, she thinks glumly. She lets out a sigh and rolls over on her side. She breathes deeply and lets herself relax, thinking about the ocean waves and how soothing it is for her. Sleep comes to her shortly. 

 

“Oh, yes, right there,” a muffled voice says. Tobin pops an eye open as she wakes from the noise. She listens for a minute. “Suck my clit, baby,” the voice says. Holy shit, they’re having sex, Tobin thinks. I didn’t even know they were a couple. That is something they definitely should have told me. The moaning is getting a bit louder as their passion increases. 

“Use your fingers to fuck me, Tobin,” the voice says moaning again and again. What the fuck, Tobin’s freaking out. What the shit is this? What is going on, I don’t understand, Tobin’s mind is swirling. She slowly moves her small pillow over her head to block out the moans. Eventually she falls asleep after the other tent quiets down. 

The alarm on her watch awakens Tobin before the sun rises. She quietly gets dressed, slowly exits her tent and zips it back up. She hikes a short distance above the tree line just in time to view a magnificent sunrise over Mt. Hood. She finds a rock to sit and watch it rise, taking a few photos with her phone. She hikes down to a still quiet camp and begins to pack up slowly and quietly not wanting to disturb Mara and Liz and start the day off on a sour note. 

She gets her tent packed up and makes a fire, heating some water to add to the breakfast she brought along. She’s just finishing eating when she hears the tent come to life. Tobin decides to not mention anything about last night in hopes of not having type of confrontation. She’d prefer to go with the flow and if things get heated, she’s prepared to hike straight out down the path, back to the parking lot and down the road to the main station. 

“Good morning,” she says with smile. “Want some breakfast?” 

“Yes, please,” Liz moans, “Did anyone bring any coffee?” 

Mara laughs at her, “No you idiot, we’re roughing it! Looks like you’re in for a rough morning.” 

Tobin holds up a tea bag, “It’s not coffee but it has caffeine,” she offers. 

“Thanks,” Liz says grabbing the bag and pulling out her water bottle. “You’re a lifesaver.” 

The two girls slowly eat breakfast and break down their tent and get packed up. Tobin looks at the sky and sees a dark line of clouds in the distance. 

“So, guys,” Tobin says casually, “What do you think about maybe just maybe going to the summit over there and then heading out? That sky looks pretty wicked.” 

Mara turns to see the horizon to the west. “Yeah,” she nods, “That looks pretty bad. I don’t think we’d want to get caught in that.” 

“How long until it hits us?” Liz asks warily looking at the sky. 

“Probably not until after lunch, but who knows how fast it’s moving.” Tobin shares. She looks at her watch, it’s only eight-thirty. 

“Let’s head out then,” Mara instructs. 

The begin their hike, commenting on the view as they rise above the tree line and near the summit. The temperature has dropped a little and Tobin doesn’t know if that’s the storm front or the elevation. Mara’s walking in front of her on the small narrow path they’ve been following when she stops and turns around. 

“You know, Tobin,” she begins, “I never got a soccer scholarship because of you.” She says angrily. “You were always the one everyone talked about, coach never put in a good word for me or Liz.” 

Tobin is shocked. “What?” she asks, confused. 

“Yeah,” Liz interjects, pulling on Tobin's backpack so she's facing both of them, “we had it planned, only I ended up playing at the community college for one lousy year and then that asshole coach kicked me off the team!” 

“Guys, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say,” Tobin apologizes. We’re standing here having this conversation now, she wonders. I’ve got to get out of here. “Look, why don’t we just turn back and leave, okay? Let’s get out of here and go sit in a diner and talk about this. I never had any idea any of this was going on.” Tobin’s eyes are scanning the area, the path is too narrow for her to just step back and run down the ridgeline they’re on. 

“No, I don’t think so Tobin.” Mara says taking a step closer to her. “Everyone sings your praises but we’re going to let the world know just how shitty of a person you really are.” 

Tobin’s shaking her head, “Mara, I don’t know what I ever did to you to make you feel this way. Please, let’s just talk.” She's starting to get a little scared. 

“NO!” Mara shouts, “I’ve tried talking but you were never there.” 

Liz grabs Tobin’s shoulder and spins her around to face her. “Everyone says how pious and faithful you are in God, well, let’s see if God really cares about you!” 

Tobin feels a sudden push and suddenly she’s in space, out over the edge of the bluff, she flails her arms as the ground rapidly approaches, her boots hitting loose rocks and sliding her to the angled earth. She slides to the ground, hands out for balance as she rides the terrain, hitting smaller rocks and shrubs, branches slapping across her face and torso, until she hits a large stone feeling a crack in her left shin, the force of the impact pivots her around. She suddenly gets airborne over a hump of rocks and it sends her titling and sliding out of control. She's on her stomach sliding in keeping her hands out to try to slow herself down, but can't avoid the large stone that renders her unconscious. 

Her unconscious body slides and tumbles a few more feet until she's stopped by a large rock.


	2. Work Smart, Not Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin awakes from her fall. Are Mara and Liz going to finish the job?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and nice comments. Sure do appreciate them. Hope you enjoy the continuing saga.

 

 

Tobin’s eyes flutter open, squinting at the bright sun. She’s panting in pain. Oh God, the pain. She’s mostly on her back, cocked at an angle up against a large rock. Her face hurts, her ribs, her leg, everything hurts. She struggles to control her breathing, bringing a hand up to her face to hold the left side of her jaw. It’s unnaturally swollen and feels unhinged. I’ve got a broken jaw, Tobin thinks. She shifts her position a little to get more upright and a hot pain shoots up her leg to her hip. She looks down at her leg, she can barely move her toes and ankle. She stretches forward, her ribs on her left side pulling in pain at her. She lightly runs her hand over her shin and feels the bump. She moves her hand up to just below her knee and squeezes gently. 

Tears form from the pain radiating down her shin and an uncontrollable wail comes from Tobin’s mouth. I’ve busted my leg. I’m so fucked. She grabs at her jaw, trying to stop the pain. She sits up a little straighter and scoots so she can lean her back against the rock that stopped her slide all the way down to the lake. She cries, holding her face and then looks up to see how far she travelled. Maybe almost two hundred feet, she figures. 

She swivels her head slowly, thank God for not breaking my neck, while looking for Mara and Liz. At least they didn’t stick around to finish the job, she thinks darkly. Okay, she says to herself, think Tobin. Think. What should you do first? Am I bleeding? She brings her hand to her face and comes back with a little blood. It’s not a lot so she continues. She checks her arms, her legs, her torso as best she can. She looks at the sky, the clouds have come closer and it is starting to look menacing off in the distance.

She looks at her watch, it’s only ten forty-five. I wasn’t out super long. I don’t think I have a concussion. This headache fucking sucks though. Okay, what to do? She turns again to really look for Mara and Liz, anxious they might come back. Okay, I need to make a shelter, it’s going to rain soon so I need to get out of the weather. I have my tent, I can just scoot over here and set it up. If I just kneel, I should be fine. She looks down at her feet. Where the fuck are my boots? All she sees are her wool socks. 

She slowly shrugs herself out of her backpack, unclipping the waist belt and bringing it around in front of her. My sleeping bag is gone. My tent is gone. Sleeping pad- gone. They were strapped to the putside back of the pack. She looks up and down the path of her fall and can’t see the bright orange tent, her sleeping pad or bag. She sighs and looks at the ground. What am I going to do, she wonders. 

That’s when she sees the footprints. Those fuckers came down here and took my stuff? 

Two sets of footprints around her. Then they travel to her right, towards the trail down side of the peak. She looks into the top of her open backpack. No winter jacket. No rain coat. 

Fuck. What else have they taken, she wonders. She starts to dig through the bag. 

Wait, wait, wait, she stops herself. Calm down. This isn’t helping. She takes a few deep breaths but feels the tug from her ribs. A couple of those are definitely bruised, maybe even broken, she assesses. Okay, first things first. She pulls out her phone from the front pocket and powers it on. No signal. Okay, then, shelter, I need to make a shelter. Then check supplies, then clean myself up. Then fire. Figure this out Tobin. 

If I don’t have my tent, I need to make a shelter or find one. She’s at the start of the tree line and she turns to look down to see if anything looks workable. I’m not going down, the incline is even steeper than where I’m at now, she determines. I’ll kill myself doing that. 

She adjusts her position slowly, hand still on her jaw, eyes watering as she's fighting the urge to cry from the pain. Okay, look up, what do you see? She scans above her and then sees a small ledge with a rock outcropping and a tangle of branches. That’s it, that’s where I’m going. It’s only about twenty yards away, I can do it. 

Okay, you’ve got to work smart, not hard. Think, you’ll want some pine boughs or something to lay down on and to keep warm. The rest you can use for the shelter. She looks at her path to reach the ledge and sees a few shrubs and low trees along the way. I’ll cut those and throw them ahead of myself up the side. That’s if I still have the saw. 

She opens her bag up and digs into the second deep pocket. She feels the handle of the handsaw and pulls it out. Okay, let’s get this show on the road. She climbs slowly to her knees, careful to keep her left leg off the ground. It brings tears to her eyes how much it hurts. You’ll figure it out later, ignore it. Focus on the task at hand. 

She only gets a few yards away and the pain stops her. My leg feels like it’s going to fall off. It’s probably only attached by muscle and tendons, she reasons. Okay, I need a splint. But I have to do something about my jaw first, I can’t keep crawling one handed and one legged. 

Unclipping her waist belt again, she shrugs off the straps to look into her backpack. Her belt has zippered side pockets and she locates her multi-tool and knife in the left one. This is good, Mara and Liz didn’t go through everything, she thinks. 

She pulls out the long sleeved Under Armor shirt she wore yesterday and carefully cuts off one sleeve. She gingerly ties it under her jaw and chin, instantly feeling some slight relief. Now, she thinks, a splint. She looks through her pack and notices the divider in her main large pocket. She runs her hand along it and it feels pretty stiff. That might work, she reasons. I wonder if it’s an insert. She works her knife along the top seam and smiles to herself as she pulls the padded plastic piece out. Advantage Heath. 

It’s longer than her leg so she eyeballs it as she slowly cuts it down. She lays it on the ground and wraps it around her leg. That works. Now, how do I fix it on, she wonders. I could rip up a t-shirt maybe. She looks into her backpack, checking all of the little pockets and finds a whistle on a lanyard that she hangs around her neck and a nearly new roll of athletic tape. Perfect. 

I’m gonna want to change my pants so I should put this right on my leg she figures as she rolls up her pant leg. The bump in her shin is visible it's bruising already. It doesn’t look as bad as the last time she broke her leg back in college. She cuts a few pieces of tape to anchor the pad before she can totally wrap it up. She winces as she tightens it down at the top, middle and bottom. 

Oh shit, this hurts. 

She maneuvers her backpack so she can rest her heel on it as she rolls the tape out to keep the pad in place. She has to stop halfway through to wipe her eyes from the pain. Stretching to tape her leg makes her ribs hurt, her leg hurts, her jaw hurts from crying. She finishes it and brings her pant leg down to cover it. She catches her breath and takes a sip of water, wincing from the pain of swallowing. She sits for a moment, trying to slow her breathing and calm herself.

Slowly, she puts everything back in place, gets the backpack back on, appreciating its lighter load and grabs her handsaw. She makes steady progress throwing sticks and branches of pine ahead of her and soon she reaches the ledge. Her leg feels better but her right knee bruise is starting to sing in pain to her. I’ll rest when the shelter is done, she reasons. 

The ledge is about twelve feet wide and fifteen feet long with a pile of rocks on the left. There’s a small overhang she can huddle under but she’ll need more cover than that. 

My tarp, do I still have that, she wonders. She unhooks her belt and shrugs off the straps bringing the backpack down in front of her. Okay, quick assessment of my supplies, she concentrates as she pulls items from her bag. I’ve got four bottles of water, two plastic, two metal all full. Here’s the tarp, she joyfully pulls it out. It’s six feet by eight feet and Tobin wonders how to make this work. 

She takes a swig of water and looks at the area in front of her. So, the wind is coming out of the Northwest, so my tarp should cover the rocks and over here, leaving the opening on the Southeast side. That will help keep out water. If I can put my tarp to the overhang and use these branches up there already as stakes, that should keep it from blowing away. I can put rocks down on the bottom of the tarp to keep it secure as well. 

She’s two thirds of the way done after taking numerous breaks to get her project completed. She turned her head to look over her shoulder to see the low gray storm front looming close. The temperature had dropped and the wind had picked up. She gets back to work, pushing through the pain to get the final supports up.

It's hours later when Tobin finally leans back on her makeshift bed. She has a small going fire, plenty of wood within easy reach, she had a chocolate energy gel and some water. She’s finally stopped crying from the pain of changing her clothes and she’s settled in for the night. She’s exhausted. 

She found some anti-bacterial hand cleaner in her bag so she cleaned herself up and used her phone to see herself to wash her face with a little heated water and one of her chamois cloths. She has a nasty scrape on her jaw that she gingerly dabbed some ointment on and a mix of cuts and scrapes on her forehead that looks like it might bruise. Her left eye was swollen and beginning to bruise over as well. Her bruised knee is killing her, she was glad she remembered to bring the ointment her trainer gave her. She used it on her knee and ribs, hoping for some relief. 

Dusk was looming and Tobin wasn’t sure if there was anything else she should be doing. She didn’t expect anyone to be looking for her yet. She figured she’d start blowing her whistle after breakfast tomorrow. She had read somewhere that three blasts meant help. 

She resisted the urge to pull her phone out and play a game or something. She wanted to be sure she had power if she needed the flashlight or something. She didn’t feel like writing in her journal, she didn’t want to think about what happened and rehash her feelings about it. She didn’t even know what her feelings were about it yet. She can clearly hear her sister Perry’s voice telling her she knew something was up with them. Even Allie had been suspicious. Tobin feels stupid. How could I not see Mara and Liz were up to something, she wonders. 

The tarp redirected the heat from her fire back at her and she was happy to be dry and warm. The rian making popping noises as they meet the plastic material, slowly unsettling Tobin's nerves.The ache from her leg and jaw were constant, tiring her out from fighting against it. She wished she had thought to bring any type of pain killer. She didn’t think she had a concussion so it would be okay to fall asleep. She’s tired. So tired. I wonder if I have any internal injuries, she worries, like am I bleeding or something.

As the sky darkened, so did her shelter, the fire casting a weird reflection on her tarp, a greenish glow that was mesmerizing. Maybe I’m just starting to hallucinate, Tobin thinks wryly. She found her pair of gloves and pulled her small fleece blanket over herself. Her feet were still surprisingly warm, she would check her left leg every so often to make sure there was circulation. She tossed one of her wool sweaters over her feet. I’ve got a lot of positives on my side here, Tobin reasons. 

She closes her eyes and says a prayer of thanks to God for keeping her alive this far. Exhaustion overtakes her and she slips into an uncomfortable sleep. 

She didn’t sleep much throughout the night, nightmares plagued her, pain intensified and the cold creeped into her bones. She put her sweater on her over her other one to gain some warmth and pulled her beanie down low. She was paranoid to let the fire burn out, constantly cracking open an eye to make sure it was still going. She was thankful her glasses were still intact in her backpack, sending a prayer of thanks out to Cheney for insisting on Tobin getting a sturdy case when she got her glasses a couple of years ago. She had taken her contacts out not wanting to deal with them. 

The morning was chilly with a steady rain coming down. Not a downpour but certain to make walking a real challenge. She peeked out of her shelter to look at the rain and sighed. This sucks. She stripped out of her clothes and crawled naked outside her shelter to pee. She tried her best to watch the stream carefully and see if there was any blood in it. Then she put her bright orange poncho on the outside of her shelter to act as a door and add color to be seen. She put her cook pot outside to collect some fresh rain water. 

She dried off, cleaned herself up as best she could, got dressed again and made a cup of tea, dangling one of her metal water bottles over the fire to heat the water. She’d eat an energy gel later. She wasn’t hungry and that concerned her. She knew she needed to keep her strength up. She was so tired.

She set an interval timer alarm on her watch to remind her to blow her whistle, figuring fatigue was setting in and she’d forget or pass out or something. It didn’t hurt her ribs too bad if she didn’t inhale too much. She was glad the whistle was loud. She settled into her little nest, drawing the covers over herself again, and began her wait. 

 

 

Even though it was raining, Alex Morgan had a smile of her face as she pulled into the parking lot. Seeing Tobin’s car reminded her of her chance to see her again. She was one of the nicest people to me when I was scared and unsure of myself, she thinks. 

She opens up the station, flips on the computer and begins to plan her day. The rain will keep the casual day trippers away, but she will see some serious hikers come through, those wanting one last hike before snowfall. She quickly sweeps the floor, wipes down the counters and empties the trash and overall straightens up her workspace and the main lobby. She likes to keep it tidy. 

Her morning dragged just as she suspected it would, so she amused herself by looking up natural holiday crafts on Pinterest. She would get a nice jump on some of the holiday crafts with pine cones and cedar branches for the youth and adult classes. Her creativity allowed her to expand the program, inviting the adult public for paint nights, craft nights and other events that were growing in popularity. 

It was about ten o’clock when Jerry, her Supervisor came in, stomping his feet and shaking the water from himself on the rug. He was holding an orange sleeping bag and a light blue jacket. 

“Don’t we have some campers at the lake parking lot?” he asks as he approaches the desk. Alex had turned to kindly pour him a fresh cup of coffee. She turned to look at him and her blood ran cold. 

“Yeah, they aren’t due out until tomorrow afternoon.” She replies, feeling a sense of dread. 

“Well, the lot is empty but I saw these in the grass,” he explains. 

“Oh no,” Alex breathes out as she sits down. 

“What’s wrong?” Jerry asks with concern. 

“Well, this group of three women came in yesterday, one of them obviously knew the outdoors, the other two, not so much. You know, the party type,” Alex explains as Jerry nods. “I got the feeling the one outdoorsy one didn’t know the other two very well, she seemed embarrassed by them.” 

“Yeah” Jerry asks, intrigued by Alex’s story. 

“I told her about the weather and she was aware and said they’d cut it short if it got crappy out and then they left.” 

“Okay, so what about this?” he asks, pointing to the bag and jacket on the floor in the corner. 

“I would swear that those are outdoorsy’s stuff,” Alex says, refraining from using Tobin’s name. “And her car is parked right over there.” She points out the glass doors to Tobin’s car. 

Jerry is silent. He’s sitting in his chair, sipping his coffee and nodding his head. “What does your gut say?” he asks quietly as he pulls the check in book in front of him. 

“I wouldn’t trust those two if my life depended on it. Something happened to out there.” Alex says quickly and firmly. 

“Do you know where they were headed?” he asks. 

Alex nods, “Up the trail to the lake.” He nods. 

He scans the book, “Is outdoorsy Tobin Heath?” he questions. Alex nods. 

Jerry is Alex’s superior so she waits patiently for him to gather his thoughts. Having a professional athlete possibly lost or hurt in their park, he needs to tread carefully on this one. The publicity could be a nightmare and they would have to handle this by the book. Yet, Alex and her hunches have always proved to be right. 

“I trust your gut,” he says, “it’s too early to organize an official search if we truly don’t know anyone is missing yet. We’re not absolutely 100% that these are her things. But I think it would ease both of our minds to check it out.” 

Alex is nodding her head. 

“What say you go for a quick peek and see if you see anything?” he suggests. 

“I’ll get my gear together,” Alex is up and moving with a sense of urgency.

“I’ll make sure the satellite phones and the radios are all set,” Jerry turns to the charger base to grab them. 

Alex heads to the staff room and goes to her locker to retrieve her outdoor gear. She unlaces her Merrell’s and finds her lined rain pants. She puts those on and laces up her heavy hiking boots. She takes her lightweight sweater off the hook and places it on the seat next to her. 

She pulls out her overnight bag, double checking she’s got warm clothes for two nights. She’s got enough food and water for two people for two days. She sees her extra fleece lined jacket hanging on a hook and impulsively grabs it. She figures if Tobin is out there, she doesn’t have a jacket and the temperature is continuing to drop. 

She moves to the SAR locker and removes the neon yellow striped Emergency Bag filled with first aid supplies. She’s trained as a Paramedic so her bag is a little more advanced than others. It’s a front pack that will attach to the straps of her back pack so she can carry it with ease. She fishes her keys out and unlocks the Weapon Locker, removing her 9mm Glock and thigh holster assembly. She grabs a second pair of handcuffs just in case she runs into the two girls. She sets it on her sweater and locks everything back up. Being a ranger makes her a sworn officer of the law, so she wants to be prepared if things get a little out of hand out in the woods. 

She straps down her sleeping bag to the back of her pack, slings one strap over her shoulder, picks up the SAR bag, her sweater and weapon and heads back out in front.  
Jerry meets her there as he’s walking back in. “I’ve got the trailer with the ATV attached to the truck so you can make better time.” He says, his voice and face showing urgency and concern. 

He sets down a helmet and a bright yellow poncho with reflective stripes on the front and back. Alex empties her hands and busies herself getting her holster assembly attached to her thigh and putting her sweater on. She takes the radio and affixes it to the front of the SAR bag and slips the satellite phone onto her deep pocket front pocket, zippering it shut. She stuffs the extra jacket in her bag and looks around. 

“You’ve got everything,” Jerry says, “let’s use the radios for our main communication and the satellite phones as backup.” He picks up her backpack and the SAR bag and heads for the door. Alex grabs her official winter uniform jacket, a dark green heavy Carhartt duck jacket and she’s out the door. 

Alex shuts off the ATV as she reaches the narrow trailhead that heads to the lake. From here on out she’s walking. She puts the keys in her zippered pocket and begins her walk. It’s in the low forties and there’s a steady breeze coming down from Canada. Alex estimates it’ll take her another hour to get to the clearing near the lake. She brings the brim of her boonie hat down lower and quickens her pace. 

 

 

Tobin’s jaw is killing her. Her leg is throbbing. Her ribs ache every time she blows the whistle. She's in pain and her body is so hot. She feels like she's on fire. She’s taken off both of her wool sweaters, draping one carefully over the tripod she made over the small fire. She doesn't know what time it is, her watch stopped working over night and she doesn't want to power up her phone. Her shelter is warm, she struggled to take off her fleece pants, shedding tears trying to get them off her bad leg. She’s in her Nike Pros and a sports bra and she knows she should layer up but she's hot and she doesn’t want to get any more of her clothes sweaty and then chill her later on at night. She ends up just laying her Columbia pants over herself. 

She’s spent an hour after breakfast entering her story into her Notes on her phone. She included Liz and Mara’s contact info, telling how she grew up with them, reconnected and what happened on their trip. She also included how Allie and her sister seemed to think something was off with them and Tobin had no clue. Her last line asks to please tell Alex at the ranger station that the sunrise was beautiful and thanks for suggesting it. She’s happy she got to experience one for one last time. She tore a page out of her journal and wrote a short note and her phone’s access code. She powered off her phone and sealed it in a Ziplock baggie with the note. 

Her couple of hours she wrote notes to her family in her journal, weeping as she said goodbye to them. She’s feeling pretty despondent and struggling to even keep up blowing her whistle. In Allie’s note she apologized for not watching her step. She crawled over to the opening of her tent and lifted the poncho a little so the wind could take the piercingly loud shrill sounds and send them out as far as possible. She knows it’s her only hope, but she just wants to go to sleep and be out of pain. Her phone's alarm keeps reminding her to give out her short three blasts, the ache in her ribs reminds of her situation. It’s hard to stay positive. 

Come on Tobin, she says to herself, you’re warm, you’re dry, you’re got some food and water. It could be worse. What, like, breaking your face and leg and fucking up your ribs, her other, darker voice in her mind argues. If so, you’ve got that covered. Stop blowing the stupid whistle and go to sleep. 

If Cheney were here she would ream me out so much for thinking this way, she chastises herself for listening to the dark voices. Cheney. Cheney is too good for this world and she almost left it way too soon because of a tumor in her head. Tobin was sick for days when Lauren told her the news. The US Team had a friendly the evening Cheney had surgery and even though Tobin knew surgery went well and she was doing good, she had such a hard time concentrating on her lay. Soccer seemed so insignificant. 

Cheney had overcome facial paralysis and pain and so much more with grace, dignity and no complaints. Her will and faith was rock solid. She gave it all to God and just kept on trucking. Tobin fingers the small crucifix pendant on her necklace, please, Lord, she prays, give me strength. 

Her alarm goes off and she brings the whistle to her lips, wincing as she blows. 

 

 

Was that a whistle, Alex’s head snaps up and she scans the area after that first short chirp. She hears it repeat twice more and recognizes the distress signal. She digs her whistle out of her lapel pocket of her jacket under her rain poncho and blows back three blasts. Come on, she prays, answer me so I can get a fix on your location. 

 

 

Tobin thinks she’s hallucinating when she faintly hears three whistle blasts answering her call. She blows her whistle twice. She clearly hears the faint reply. She waits a minute before sending out two more blasts. Her ribs are on fire. She repeats this whistle conversation many times and feels her blasts are becoming softer. She can’t inhale as deeply as she wants, it hurts too much. She’s wheezing when she inhales, her head is spinning every time she blows the whistle. She can barely lift her head to blow she’s so weak. 

Luckily the other whistle sounds like it’s getting closer. A flash of inexplicable panic and fear washes over Tobin. What if they aren’t here to help her, she wonders. What if it’s Mara and Liz coming back to finish the job. What if this has been some sort of sick game to them, letting her suffer in the cold and rain while they watch from a distance. She unsheathes her knife and holds it in her lap. 

 

 

Alex has been following the whistle for nearly two hours. She had been walking for half an hour when she first heard the blasts, far off in the distance. She kept following it along the trail until she reached the open area with the large formation to her right and the forested area in front of her. She shifted her direction towards the incline, steadily answering back the short shrill bursts. It confused her as she approached the steep incline, that the whistle sounded farther away or it was getting softer. 

That could mean two things: the wind and bouncing echoes were playing with her sense of direction or whoever was on the other end of the whistle was getting weaker. She raises her hand to shield her face from the rain as she scans the incline. Then she sees it- about halfway up there’s some sort of structure that looks manmade. That has to be it. 

She begins her ascent, slowly and carefully picking her path and trying not to slide on the rocks. It’s steep and she takes her time. She continues to whistle back, she’s still too far away to call out yet. She thought maybe whoever was up there would come out to make contact, surely they realize she’s close. Maybe they can’t. Maybe they’re too injured to move. That would account for the whistle blasts losing their intensity. 

She’s only twenty yards away from her destination when she notices that the little shrubs and low hanging branches have been cut. She stops to inspect a branch and sees that it’s been freshly cut. She squints at the incline and even with the steady rain she can faintly make out where something has been dragged up to the ledge. And the shelter. What the fuck happened here, she wonders. Warily she continues her climb. 

“Officer Morgan from Mt. Hood State Park, call out!” she orders. She brings her hand down and unsnaps the strap on her holster. Keeping her hand on it, she makes her way to the covered opening. “Is anybody in there?” she yells. 

A soft blow of the whistle replies. 

Alex takes a deep breath and gathers the bottom of the poncho and underneath to enter the shelter. 

It takes her moment to recognize Tobin. She’s shocked by what she sees. Tobin is pale with a grayish hue, her eyes only half open, dark circles under them and glasses on her face. She has horrible scrapes and cuts on her forehead that are becoming a purplish in color, her jaw sticking out at an odd angle. She glances quickly and sees the rapid breathing and homemade splint on her left leg, bruised knee on the right. From the reflection of the fire she can see Tobin is slick with sweat and shaking slightly. She sees the knife, loosely on her lap. What the fuck happened to her, she wonders. 

Alex moves further in, taking off her boonie hat. “Tobin, it’s Alex from the park station, can you hear me?” 

Tobin’s eyes flicker and she nods, “Hey,” she says softly. Her voice is off from not being able to move her jaw. 

“I’m here to help you okay?” Alex says as she sheds her poncho and unstraps the SAR bag, and then shrugging off her back pack. 

“Want some tea?” Tobin offers, her voice muffled, her head titling slightly to the small fire where her metal water is dangling from the tripod. 

“That sounds great,” Alex smiles as she begins to open the SAR bag. “How about we check you out and see if we can get you feeling a bit better first?” she asks easily. 

Tobin gives her a lopsided half smile as tears begin to fall from her eyes. Her breath hitches and she grabs at her ribs and winces.


	3. It's Gone Viral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex assesses Tobin's injuries and they get to know one another while they wait out the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much the support. Much appreciated. Hope you enjoy hearing a part of Alex's story.

Alex is on the radio with Jerry. “Jerry, I’ve located the missing hiker. Injured.” 

“What’s her status?” Jerry asks. 

Alex decides to use codes so as not to upset Tobin who is lying there looking at her. “She’s a 6/10 non-ambulatory. Stable for now.” A 10/10 would be critical condition. 

“Alex, the storm is intensifying, you’re gonna be out there overnight. I can’t get a chopper out today unless there’s a break in the weather.” Jerry replies. “There’s too much lightning to send out a SAR crew.” 

“We’re in a good shelter, we’ll hunker down and be fine.” Alex replies and gives him her location. She makes sure her voice is confident so Tobin can’t pick up on how serious the situation is. Lightning striking the shelter, mudslides coming down from above, falling rocks. The scenarios run through Alex’s head like wildfire. 

“Okay, I’m staying here tonight to monitor everything and I’ll be calling in the crew for first light.” Jerry says. “Call me for anything,” he says, his voice comforting. 

“Thanks Jer,” Alex replies. “I’ll be in touch.” 

She turns to face Tobin, who is playing with the hem of her fleece blanket. 

“Tobin, I’m going to check you out so I can help you, okay?” Alex needs to assess her injuries so she can provide the best care possible. She hears a faint ‘K’ in response. She finds her headlamp and clicks it on so she has a bright light to work by. Tobin squints as she gets used to the light. 

Alex brings out her stainless steel clipboard case and pulls a patient sheet and pen out. She grabs her stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff. She quickly monitors Tobin’s heart rate and blood pressure, noting the results on her sheet. 

Alex then starts with a concussion protocol then begins to seek out her other injuries. She has Tobin lean forward and she taps her back, stopping when Tobin cries out from the pain of her ribs in front. 

“Looks like you may have a few broken ribs, I’ll get those wrapped up so they feel better,” Alex comforts. She brings the large Ace bandage out and applies it around her waist. 

“Did you see any blood in your urine?” Alex asks thinking about internal injuries. 

“No,” Tobin shakes her head slightly. “I looked too.” Alex understands that Tobin knows the seriousness of her injuries. Alex nods. “Good.” 

“I’ve got to wrap your head so your jaw feels more stable,” she states. Tobin whimpers as Alex wraps the large band around her chin and jaw. She had cleaned the wounds but they looked like they had already been cleaned out. Alex places a neck immobilizer on her as well. "This is just a precaution, and it will help with your jaw," she explains.

“Did you clean up a little?” she asks. Tobin nods slowly. “Yeah,” she says, pain evident in her voice. 

“You did a great job on your forehead and jaw,” Alex compliments as she pulls out an IV bag and finds the needle and elastic band. “I’m going to start an IV so I can give you some pain meds. Are you allergic to anything?” she questions. Tobin shakes her head slowly. She grabs an instant ice pack, crunches the center and shakes it. She hands it to Tobin. “Put it on your jaw.” 

She cuffs Tobin’s right arm with the elastic band and finds a vein quickly on the back of her right hand. She gets the port line attached and then pulls out a zippered black bag from her larger SAR bag. “I’m giving you some Demerol so you feel better, okay? Not enough to knock you out or anything but to take off the edge of the pain.” She explains as she inserts the needle into the port and slowly depresses the plunger. 

It only takes a few moments for Alex to observe Tobin slightly sway in her sitting position and see her shoulders relax a little. Alex notes the time and scribbles the info onto her chart. She turns back to her SAR bag and pulls the inflatable splint out. 

“Not gonna lie,” she says as she unrolls it. “this is going to hurt.” She sees the fear in Tobin’s eyes. 

“How about I get organized a little and you can have some tea.” she changes her plan. “We’ll take a little time for the Demerol to really kick in and then I can give you a little more after we get you splinted up?” 

Tobin gratefully nods and offers a half smile. “Sounds good,” she says quietly. She hands Alex a tea bag. 

Alex produces two mugs from her pack and pours the hot water in and steeps the tea for Tobin. She spreads Tobin’s fleece blanket on the pine boughs behind her and helps Tobin lean back to be comfortable. 

They’re silent as Alex moves her bags around, creating a space and mentally envisioning how to set up for the night. Tobin plays with her sweater that’s draped on her, she’s still not dressed but she’s not getting cold either. 

“Tobin?” Alex asks, looking concerned. Tobin raises her eyebrows as she looks at her. “Do you mind if I go through you pack to find you some clothes? It’s going to get chilly soon with the sun going down.” 

“Sure,” Tobin nods, “let me help.” Alex brings Tobin’s pack next to her and unzips it. 

Tobin gestures to the second compartment, “Clean clothes,” she says with a slight wince. Alex takes out the clothes from the clean side and goes through them. She nods with approval of the dri-fit clothes, glad Tobin is prepared. 

“Where are your boots?” Alex asks looking around the shelter. 

Tobin looks down, her expression somber. “They took them.” She says slowly. 

“What happened?” Alex can’t hold back anymore. It’s been the question she’s been wanting to ask since she first found her. 

Tobin sighs, with a hand on her ribs and points to her phone in the baggie. “Read it.” She lays back and looks up at the ceiling of the shelter. Alex grabs the baggie, reads the short note ‘whoever finds me, please read this and notify my family.’ It’s signed ‘Tobin Powell Heath.’ 

Alex looks at Tobin as she powers up her phone and sees that she’s clearly fighting tears as she stoically looks up. Her breathing is becoming more rapid as she fights her emotions. Alex enters the code and accesses the notes. 

First, she sees a listing of people to call and notify. This had to be awful to write, Alex thinks, feeling upset for Tobin. The she reads Tobin’s narrative of the events. She gasps when she reads that Mara pushed her off the trail and sent her sliding down the embankment. She looks up to see Tobin crying softly. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Alex says as she scoots over next to her. “It’s okay, you’re going to be okay,” she comforts. 

Tobin won’t look at her. “Feel stupid,” she mutters. 

“You’re not stupid,” Alex says, “you didn’t know, okay? People can be awful and we’d never know it until they do something crazy.” She comforts. “You’re not stupid.” 

Tobin takes her glasses off to dry her eyes. Alex offers her a clean cloth. She lays her hand on Tobin’s thigh and squeezes. “It could have happened to anyone. I’m sorry this happened to you.” 

Tobin nods as she wipes her eyes. I can’t imagine having that happening, Alex thinks. Thinking they’re your friends and they turn on you like that. Having all that resentment. How long did they plan this I wonder, Alex thinks. She smiles to herself thinking about Tobin writing such an emotional note and being so thoughtful to include her and mention the sunrise. 

“I’m going to call this in so we can start looking for them.” Alex informs Tobin, “We won’t let them get away with this.” 

Alex picks up her radio and contacts Jerry. She gives him the rundown of events and the contact info for Mara and Liz. Jerry states that he will notify the Sheriff and get started on his end. He asks for an update on Tobin’s condition and Alex replies that she’s stable and they end the call. 

“Don’t feel stable,” Tobin says with a wry look on her face. 

“What do you mean?” Alex asks, instantly concerned. 

Tobin taps the side of her temple with her right hand. “Thoughts. Emotions.” 

“I’m sorry,” Alex says sincerely.

They sit in silence listening to the rain beat down above their heads. Thunder rumbling low. 

Alex gets back to sorting out an outfit for Tobin to wear to for the night. “Okay, we’ve got to do this now.” She instructs. Tobin nods and leans herself forward. Alex crawls over to Tobin’s legs with the splint and her bag. She fishes out a pair of medical scissors and slowly cuts through the tape. 

She did a really good job on this splint, Alex thinks to herself. She’s pretty smart. She didn’t panic. She thought this out very well. She’s got to be in so much pain. She checks her watch, I can give her the Demerol before we do this. 

She scoots back over to her black case and gets out another syringe. “Okay, I’m giving this to you now and then we’ll splint you up.” She informs Tobin. 

“K” is the reply. 

She opens the port line and slowly injects it in. This time, Tobin seems to slowly melt back into the laying position as her body goes limp. “You’re okay, this is a little more. I don’t want you to feel it as much.” Alex comforts. Tobin eyes are half slits. 

Alex slowly opens the splint on Tobin’s leg and unfolds the padded plastic. She moves her splint next to it and opens it all the way. She cuts the wool sock off, being careful as she works it off Tobin’s foot. 

“Now, I’m going to lift and move your leg onto this one.” Alex says as she carefully moves her hands under Tobin leg. As she lifts, she feels Tobin tighten up and hears her strangled gasp. 

She gets her leg in place and begin to inflate the splint. “Okay?” she asks looking at Tobin. 

There’s tears coming down her face again but Tobin weakly gives her a thumbs up. Her eyes are screwed shut, brow furrowed in pain. Her hand is gripping her ribs and Alex can see she’s concentrating on her breathing. 

Alex grabs Tobin’s cook pot of water from just outside and places near the fire. She heats the water and gets out some anti-bacterial soap and a clean wash cloth. When the water warms up, she moves next to Tobin. “Let’s get you cleaned up and dressed.” She suggests. Tobin opens her eyes and weakly nods. Her eyes a bit unfocused from the Demerol. 

Alex wrings out the wash cloth and applies some soap, gently moving it over Tobin’s arm. She cleans her other arm and looks at her chest. She bites the inside of her cheek as she wonders if she should suggest that Tobin get her sports bra off. 

“Just cut it,” Tobin says, eyes focused on Alex. “Okay,” Alex replies softly and gets her scissors. 

“Tell me about yourself?” Tobin asks, her voice rough and choppy from not moving her jaw. She wants a distraction and just wants to hear Alex talk. That voice, she thinks. She should be freaking out because this gorgeous woman is bathing her but the drugs keep her in a calm state. 

“We met over ten years ago at a U17 camp in Carson.” Alex starts off. 

“We did?” Tobin asks, the calm suddenly gone. She thinks for a minute now that she has the context of where she met Alex. “Striker. Left foot. Fast.” 

Alex smiles, happy Tobin remembers her. “You remember the nickname you gave me at that camp?” she asks. 

Tobin gives her the best smile she can muster. “Baby Horse.” Alex helps Tobin into one of her long sleeve Under Armour shirts. She starts with her left arm so Tobin doesn’t have to raise it above her head. 

“Thanks.” Tobin mumbles. 

“That looks awful!” Alex exclaims seeing Tobin’s bruised leg. Tobin shrugs. 

“Is that from the game?” Alex asks, thinking back to seeing Tobin hopping on the field and practically collapsing when the whistle blew. She was in the stadium that night for the semi-final. In fact, she has season tickets to the Thorns and follows them closely. 

“Yeah,” Tobin answers, not wanting to talk about the game. Alex gets the hint and starts speaking again. 

“Yeah, I was so scared that first day. At camp.” Alex continues as she washes Tobin’s legs. “You came right up to me, introduced yourself and made me feel welcome and comfortable.” 

Tobin nods, vaguely remembering that camp. Tobin had been invited to National Team camps since she turned twelve years old. This camp was exciting because they would be seniors next year and committing to the colleges that were scouting them. Tobin always remembered her Mother saying to show kindness and to remember how she felt on her first camp. Try to make others feel welcome, Tobin, her mother would say as she kissed her goodbye. 

And Tobin did. She always greeted everyone, made sure they had what they needed and included them in everything the group she was with would do. She always asked the newest person to be her partner so they wouldn’t have that feeling of not being part of the team. 

“You came up right at the first practice and asked to partner up.” Alex says as she slips a wool sock on Tobin’s right foot. “You were super sweet to me. It’s like you knew I was nervous.” 

Tobin gestures with her hands for Alex to continue. 

“I blew my knee out senior year in our third game. Cal still wanted me so I went there and rehabbed with them. I red-shirted my freshman year and played sophomore year. I was invited to the U20 camp and the week before I blew my other knee out again playing against UNLV.” 

Tobin winces. She’s never had that injury and hopes she never will but plenty of her friends have gone through it and she knows it takes a lot of hard work to come back from. Mentally and physically. 

Alex is concentrating as she slowly pulls the wool sock on Tobin’s clean left foot. 

“I wasn’t the same player as I was before. I was slower and much more tentative and fell off the National Team’s radar. I lost my passion for it that season and quit. My heart wasn’t in it anymore. I transferred to University of Portland and got a couple of degrees on Environmental Science and Ethics and now I’m here.” She finishes up. I don’t mind telling this to her Alex thinks. She’s easy to talk to, even if she can’t say much. 

“Sorry,” is all Tobin can think to say. She shifts her hips to help Alex get her fleece pants on her. 

“It’s okay,” Alex smiles. “I love what I’m doing, and I love soccer again. There’s this team in Portland, called the Thorns, you may have heard of them?” she smiles. “They have this middy that plays like a Brazilian. Pretty exciting to watch.” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

Tobin blushes at the compliment and avoids eye contact. 

“I can feed you until midnight, you hungry?” Alex asks suddenly, changing the subject. Alex sensed Tobin’s discomfort from her compliment so she wants to distract her. 

“Mogwai?” Tobin asks, referencing the movie Gremlins with a lopsided smile. 

“Should I call you Gizmo?” Alex smiles.

Tobin points to her pack and raises her eyebrows. Alex places it between them. “First pocket.” She tries to help but she’s uncoordinated from the Demerol. Alex opens the pack to find Tobin’s food stash. She begins pulling out the items. 

“Someone was watching over you.” She comments as she examines the soup pouch. Tobin looks at her curiously. “You’ve got all sorts of food you can have with a broken jaw.” Alex explains. Tobin nods. 

Alex holds up a soup pouch. “Want this?” she questions. “Sure,” Tobin answers as her stomach growls. 

“Okay.” Alex laughs. 

“Have some too?” Tobin asks pointing to her stash. 

“Oh, no, that’s okay, I’ve got some trail mix and stuff.” Alex answers, not wanting to take Tobin’s food from her. 

“Please?” Tobin asks, wanting Alex to eat. She clumsily moves her hand to the pack. “Eat.” 

“Okay,” Alex accepts, “thanks.” 

Tobin give her a lopsided grin as she settles back against her nest. She watches as Alex fills a cook pot with water and heats it up over the fire. 

Alex pulls a lantern out from her pack and takes her headlamp off. She plunges the shelter into darkness, the only light flickering from the fire. She lights the lantern and it casts a warm glow. She moves the tripod from the fire and hangs the lantern from it. 

“Comfy? Feeling okay?” Alex asks Tobin, studying her face. 

“Yeah, not bad.” Tobin replies. She pulls herself up to sit up more and not be so slouched so she can eat. She’s getting tired, but doesn’t want to sleep. She shivers slightly, getting a chill. 

“Flannel?” she questions, motioning to the pack. 

Alex gets it out for her and kneels to help her into it. She buttons it up and lays the collar down. “Better?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, “thanks.” 

A roll of thunder cracks causing both of them to jump. Lightning lights up the sky illuminating the inside of the shelter through the branches and tarp. 

The rain remains steady as the eat, Tobin drinking her soup and Alex siting Indian style next to her on the ground eating hers.

“Pets?” Tobin questions. 

“No, I work overnights sometimes, so I it wouldn’t be fair to have one.” Alex explains. “How about you?” 

Tobin shakes her head. “Travel.” 

Alex nods. She wonders what life is like for Tobin, in season travelling so much. Seeing the world. How does that impact her personal life. She imagines she has to schedule events pretty far in advance. I wonder about her family life. She’s heard rumors that Tobin’s into chicks but has no idea how to touch the topic. I really shouldn’t, Alex thinks. I’m here professionally to provide First Aid and get her out of here safely, not grill her about her sexual preferences. She glances at Tobin and notices that she seems lost in thought. I wonder what she’s thinking about. 

Tobin is thinking if she can ask Alex if she is seeing anyone. They sorted flirted the other day in the station but she isn’t sure if Alex was just being nice. I can’t ask her, she’s here to do a job, not have me asking her a bunch of personal questions. This isn’t a sleepover or anything. I don’t really even know her. I shouldn’t ask her too much of anything, Tobin thinks. This is how I got in this situation to begin with. 

“Tired?” Alex asks, taking the mug from Tobin’s hand before it falls off her lap. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, her voice even lower than before. 

“Let me get your vitals before you sleep, okay?” Alex suggests as she pulls out her stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff. Tobin takes the dial of the stethoscope and rubs it between her hands. Alex raises an eyebrow at her. 

“It’s cold.” Tobin explains and Alex grins at her. “Good thinking,” she says. Alex pulls out her chart and enters her readings after she completes them. “Looking good, chick,” she comments as she places the items back where they belong. Tobin takes off her glasses and puts them away her their case. 

Tobin scoots over a little and looks at Alex. “Share?” she asks, motioning to the pile of pine needles. 

Alex hesitates for a moment and then figures sharing body heat would be smart to keep Tobin warm enough through the night. “Yeah, we’ll share my sleeping bag.” Alex moves to get her bedding out and gets situated. 

She hands Tobin one of her wool sweaters and suggests she put it up against the rocks so she doesn’t get chilled. Tobin does as she’s told and folds it over and stuffs it along the edge where she can snuggle her shoulder into it. Alex unzips the sleeping bag and drapes it over Tobin who folds over the end for Alex to get it. Before she does, Alex organizes her bags and keeps the clipboard and black zippered bag within easy reach. She can give Tobin another dose of pain killers in two hours if she needs to. 

She makes sure Tobin is all set before she clicks the lantern off and settles into the pine bedding. She sets her alarm for two hours in case she falls asleep. “Wake me if you need anything,” she says, nudging Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin responds with a hum. 

“Alex, come in, Alex, come in,” the radio crackles, causing both of the women to jump in surprise. 

Alex fumbles for her radio and responds. “This is Alex, what’s up?” 

“How are you guys holding up?” Jerry asks. 

“Well, we were trying to sleep,” Alex responds sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “What’s going on?” 

“It’s become public that Tobin Heath is missing.” He says slowly. “I wanted you to know. Use the sat phone for Tobin to call her family.” 

“How did this happen?” Alex asks, switching the lantern on. She glances over to see Tobin blinking rapidly, squinting at the light. 

“Apparently that Mara chick posted a video of her shoving Tobin off the trail and down the mountainside and claiming she’s dead. It’s all over the place. I guess she posted it a few hours ago and it's gone viral.” Jerry responds. 

Alex looks over to Tobin who has instantly gone even paler than she was. 

“What’s our weather looking like?” Alex asks. 

“The front should push out by about four in the morning. We should be able to get a chopper out at first light.” Jerry informs her. “We’re putting out a statement that the park is closed and the crew is out right now chaining the gates. We don’t want volunteers to come swarming here and get lost looking for her.” Jerry explains. 

“We’re also putting out a statement that Tobin is alive and with a ranger riding out the storm and is scheduled to be evacuated in the morning.”


	4. Not Dead Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Alex react to the news that Tobin's fall has gone public.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed at all of the positive comments and kudos! Thank you very much, I must says, to see those is very good for the spirit. LOL 
> 
> As a Labor Day treat and also as a celebration of the Red Stars beating the fucking Courage and being there to see it, I give you this next chapter. 
> 
> Yuki subbing in and changing the game. It was pretty awesome. 
> 
> Anyway, I would have posted last night, but I over did the victory celebrations a little so here you go now. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

“Oh no,” Alex can hear Tobin whisper. 

Alex is furiously digging through her pack for the satellite phone. She’s cursing to herself for casually placing in the deep pocket and not somewhere easily accessible. She finally locates it and powers it up. 

“Okay,” she says as sits back next to Tobin. “What’s your Mom’s number?” 

Tobin is just staring straight forward, lost in her thoughts. 

“Tobin,” Alex says, laying a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. “Let’s call your Mom so she knows you’re okay.” Tobin nods as Alex hands her the phone and enters the numbers as it dials she hands it back to Alex. 

Alex puts the call on speaker as it rings. 

“Hello?” Tobin’s Mom’s voice fills the shelter. It sounds guarded. 

“Mrs. Heath? This is Officer Alex Morgan from Mt. Hood State Park, I’m sitting right next to Tobin.” She says quickly, not wanting to scare the woman with any dramatic pauses.

They hear a sharp intake of air as Mrs. Heath gasps. 

“Mom?” Tobin says as loud as she can. 

“Oh, honey you’re alright?” her mother cries. Alex can see Tobin fight her emotions. 

“Yeah, Mom,” she forces, wincing from projecting her voice. 

“I thought you were dead, there’s a video” her Mom starts crying. 

“Mom, I’m okay,” Tobin says, trying to keep her voice light. “I'm a little busted up but I’m okay,” Alex sees tears falling from her eyes from the effort of speaking. 

Alex decides to cut in and give Tobin a chance to recover. “Mrs. Heath, I’m sorry to shock you like this but we were just contacted that the news was on social media. Tobin’s vitals are very good, she does have a broken tibia and maybe a fibula of her left leg. She does have a broken jaw and a maybe couple of broken ribs. I see no indications of any internal bleeding at the this time. I’ve been treating her since noon and she’s been in good spirits.” 

“My baby,” they hear her mother cry. 

“We’re going to airlift her to the hospital in the morning when the storm is over. We’re warm and dry.” 

“Tobin, can you hear me?” her mother asks. 

“Yeah Mom?” Tobin replies. 

“You better not be lying to me,” she warns. 

“I’m not. I promise,” Tobin says, “it’s hard to talk.” 

“This better not be a goodbye call,” she says tearfully “this better not be the last time we talk.” 

“It’s not, I promise, Mom.” Tobin cries, holding her ribs. She’s weeping quietly. 

“Mrs. Heath, can I call you in the morning when we get word the chopper is on its way?” Alex asks. 

“I have a flight first thing in the morning.” She replies as she struggles to control herself. 

“May I give you my cell phone number?” Alex offers. “You can call me when you land? I’ll be happy to help you in any way I can.” 

“Thank you dear, that would be nice.” She replies. “Go ahead.” Alex gives her the number and she repeats it back. 

“Perry?” Tobin asks. 

“She’s in the air right now. She’s going to your place.” Her mom explains. 

“It’s messy. Sorry.” Tobin says. 

Her mom laughs. “I’ll let you off the hook this time.” 

“Call Allie?” Tobin requests. 

“My next call.” Her Mom promises. 

“Cheney?” 

“I’ll call her after I call Katie and Jeffrey.” Her Mother says. 

“Sleepy,” Tobin says, her voice getting softer. 

“I love you Tobin. I’ll see you tomorrow. Be safe sweetheart.” 

Tobin is crying too much to answer. 

“Mrs. Heath, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Alex states. 

“Thank you for taking care of my baby, keep her safe.” Emotions threatening to spill over again. 

“I will Mrs. Heath.” Alex says confidently. They end the call. 

Tobin has curled up clutching her ribs as she cries. Alex checks her chart and opens her zippered case and removes a syringe and disconnects the port line so she can give Tobin the pain killer. She plunges it in slowly so it doesn’t burn. She puts the empty syringe in the case and zippers it shut. She clicks off the lantern and snuggles in, next to Tobin. 

“Come here,” she says, wanting to comfort Tobin as she did for her many years ago. Tobin’s clutching her shirt as she lays her head on her chest, breath hitching as she cries. Alex circles her arms around her and holds her in the darkness. 

 

The night was turbulent from the worst of the storm with ground shaking thunder and blinding lightning. Alex couldn’t remember the last time a storm of this intensity hit the area in October. Tobin woke many times from the storm and nightmares, crying out for Cheney or her Mom in the dark only to calm from Alex’s murmuring and soft touches on her back. They both woke tired, Tobin uncomfortable but not complaining. Alex thinks about some of her other rescue trips, so many others were horrible patients. Complaining, telling her what to do, demanding to be airlifted when not necessary, on drugs and hard to handle. I wish all of my future rescues are this nice, Alex thinks to herself. 

Tobin full on pouts for a half an hour as Alex packs up because Alex refuses to feed her. 

“Starving,” Tobin mumbles as she passes her sweater to Alex.

“You know I can’t let you have anything to eat or drink, Tobin,” Alex says apologetically. “You will most likely have to have surgery for your jaw. It’s safer this way.” She looks at Tobin. “Sorry, Gizmo.” 

“I know,” Tobin mumbles as she crosses her arms, giving Alex a small smile and a wink. 

Alex blushes as she packs all of Tobin’s gear, methodically going through it, cleaning her pot and water bottles, taking her trash bag out so she would take it for her. She’s smiling as she does it, thinking about absolutely cute Tobin is right now. God, she is so cool, Alex thinks. I wonder who Cheney is, is she her girlfriend. She leaves the main pocket open to throw the last items in there. 

They make an awkward bathroom trip, Alex making Tobin laugh with a few jokes. She wanted to distract her so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. She settles Tobin back in her nest of pine and leaves her sleeping bag covering her. Tobin grows quiet as Alex works, she's so tired, she just eyes Alex as she busied herself. 

“You know, Tobin,” Alex says as she finishes packing her bags. “You did a terrific job here. You saved yourself. You did everything right. You should be proud of yourself for your smart thinking.” 

Tobin blushes and looks away. 

“Man!” Alex exclaims, “You really have a hard time taking a compliment.” She shakes her head. “Listen, I’ve come out here to help many people and you were by far the best rescue I’ve had.” 

“Thanks.” Tobin says shyly. Her nerves are back again, being in the presence of Alex. She’s so beautiful. She’s so nice. I feel so stupid and tongue tied being around her. I’m gonna go for it, Tobin thinks. 

“Uh, Alex?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah?” 

“Number?” she asks clumsily holding up her phone nervously. 

Alex smiles at her as she continues to pick up around the shelter. Oh man, Tobin thinks, this is embarrassing, she puts her phone down, she’s straight, she’s seeing someone, I’m an idiot. 

“It’s in there already,” Alex says with a grin. “Text me when you’re feeling better. I’d say we could get dinner, but you won’t be eating real food for a while. So maybe we could go for a smoothie?” 

“Like, a date?” Tobin asks in wonder. 

Alex decides, what the Hell, and goes for it. “Yeah, I mean,” Alex pauses, thinking of Allie, “if you aren’t seeing someone?” 

Tobin gives her a crooked grin and shakes her head. “Single.” 

They hear the whirling of the chopper. “Your ride is here.” Alex announces. “I’ll get you set and then I might see you later. Can’t promise it.” 

“But come see me?” Tobin asks grabbing her hand and squeezing. 

“I will.” Alex replies squeezing back and letting go. “I’ll be right back.” She says as she puts on her coat and disappears from the shelter. 

The rest is a blur to Tobin as unfamiliar faces come to her. They dismantle the shelter, leaving her squinting at the bright sun as they load her on to a backboard and then into a basket, tucking her in carefully and slowly descending the slope to the waiting helicopter. Alex calls Jerry letting him know Tobin is loaded up and she is on her way back to the station. 

She leaves Tobin with a quick see you later as she departs, not seeing Tobin watching her hike away. 

 

 

“She was so sweet, she had a coffee waiting for me at the airport and carried my bags.” Her Mother gushes about Alex. “She was in a Police car of some sort, the Forest Preserve, maybe, anyway, she turned on the lights and we ran red lights to get here.” 

Tobin lies in the hospital bed hearing this story for the third time. This time around she’s gushing to her sister Katie that’s just arrived. It’s early afternoon. Her Mom told her she was going to come by after dinner. 

One of the nurses gave Tobin a dry erase board so she could communicate easily without hurting her jaw. It’s later that afternoon and Tobin came through her surgeries well. She’s been awake but really out of it since they did surgery this morning, working on her leg and wiring her jaw shut. Three of her ribs were broken and wrapped up with others bruised, she ended up having a nasty bruise across her forehead from her fall as well. The doctors were reassuring that Tobin’s leg would be fine for soccer. 

Right now, she’s content. She’s warm, she’s dry and feeling fine on the drugs they’ve given her. Not wanting to hear her Mom go another round while she’s telling Katie all about Alex, you know, from the ten minute phone call and airport adventures, Tobin scribbles on her board and knocks on her table. 

All eyes turn to Tobin. She holds up the board with a smirk and points to it. 

‘I GOT HER NUMBER AND WE’RE GOING ON A DATE WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE.’ Her message reads in her sprawling block print.

Three sets of eyeballs open wide at that. 

“How?” Perry demands. 

“Heath charm.” Tobin says smugly as she wipes the board. 

Soon Tobin was hit with a wave of exhaustion. Perry, Katie and her Mom were arguing about Mara and Liz and expressing their opinions of them. She closed her eyes and gratefully fell asleep. 

When she awoke, her Mom was sitting in the chair next to the bed, intently looking at her phone. She was frowning as Tobin watched her eyes scan the screen. 

“Hey,” Tobin mumbled as she squirmed to get comfortable. She gingerly scratched at her forehead, wincing from the bruise. 

“Don’t scratch, you’ll make it bleed,” her Mom says eying her. 

“What’s wrong?” Tobin asks. 

Her Mom puts the paper down, “Nothing dear, nothing for you to worry about.” She says but Tobin can tell she’s hiding something.

“Please, no lies,” Tobin rasps, her throat dry. She reaches her water cup. 

Her Mom sighs and she slumps her shoulders. “That Mara girl is saying awful things about you on the internet and won’t stop. The Police can’t find them yet.”

Tobin shakes her head. “Don’t care.” She's thankful the neck brace is gone. 

“What do you mean you don’t care?” her Mother asks. “She’s saying terrible things about you.” 

Tobin shrugs, “Not true, don’t care.” 

“Just like that?” her Mom asks, a look of disbelief on her face. 

“Yep.” Tobin nods as she reaches for her water cup again. She’s so thirsty. 

“Haters gonna hate?” her Mom says. 

Tobin giggles, holding her ribs. She reaches for dry erase board. ‘PLEASE DON’T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT. TOO FUNNY COMING FROM YOU.’ 

She Mom smiles as she reads the message. “But, that’s what you mean?”

Tobin erases her message and writes a new one. ‘IT SUCKS I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY HELD THESE FEELINGS FOR A LONG TIME. NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. TRIED TO TALK. THEY WOULDN’T LISTEN.’ 

Her Mom’s eyes mist over reading the board. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry this happened. I know you were happy meeting up with them again. I wish I had known what they were up to.” 

Tobin wipes her board and scribbles on it again. ‘I FEEL STUPID PERRY AND ALLIE SAW SOMETHING I DIDN’T. NO IDEA THEY GAVE A WEIRD VIBE.’ She sets down her board and lays back in bed. 

“You’re not stupid.” Her Mother says emphatically. Tobin remembers Alex saying the same thing to her. “You just,” her Mom thinks for a moment, “see the good in others the most and don’t pick up on the bad as quick.” 

“Or at all,” Tobin mumbles still feeling incredibly stupid. 

“Oh sweetie,” her Mom says laying a hand on Tobin’s arm. 

“Sleepy,” Tobin says, shifting her arm away and closing her eyes, choosing to drift off than continue the conversation. 

She hears her Mom sigh as sleep overtakes her. 

 

 

“What’s wrong?” Perry asks as she sits down next to Tobin. Her Mom and Katie had just left to go back to Tobin’s place. 

Tobin shakes her head as she sips a protein drink for an early dinner. She had gotten out of bed for the first time after her nap, the nurse helping her shower and get dressed in shorts and a flannel shirt. She feels a little better, the pain meds only leaving a slight ache in her jaw and leg. Her ribs, they were sore. She felt them every time she moved. They pulled at her when she used the crutches to walk to the bathroom, they pulled at her when she sat down. She’s had bruised ribs before, but this is a new level of discomfort. 

“You want to talk about this?” Perry asks holding up her dry erase note with the last message she wrote before falling asleep. 

“No.” Tobin says looking away. 

“Okay,” Perry says, putting the board down. She leans back in her seat. “Do you want to hear the latest?” 

“With what?” Tobin mumbles. 

“Mara and Liz.” 

“Not really.” Tobin frowns.

“You’re going to have to face that this happened. You can’t just pretend that it didn’t.” Perry advises. 

Tobin huffs and crosses her arms. 

“The Police want to talk to you. Reporters want to talk to you. You can’t just let this slide.” Perry says earnestly. 

Tobin glares at her and swiftly grabs the dry erase board and the marker. She wipes the old message away with her hand, angrily writing on the board. 

She holds it up. ‘I KNOW!!! IT’S ALL I THINK ABOUT. HOW FUCKING STUPID I AM!!!!!

She wipes it away before Perry can say anything. ‘IF I COULD TALK, I WOULD. I’M ANGRY IT HAPPENED. I FEEL STUPID IT HAPPENED.’ 

She holds it up again so Perry can read it. She wipes the board again. 

‘I’M PISSED. I’M GONNA MISS PLAYING NAT’L TEAM GAMES BECAUSE OF STUPID NON SOCCER RELATED INJURIES.’ 

She flips it up. 

‘I FEEL SICK YOU GUYS THOUGHT I WAS DEAD.’ 

She flips it up. Tears running down her face. 

‘I FEEL TERRIBLE AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU GUYS BEING SO UPSET.’ 

She flips it up. Perry reads and nods silently. 

‘I’M WORRIED ABOUT MOM BEING SO UPSET.’ 

She flashes the board. Wipes it away. 

‘I HATE THIS HAS GONE PUBLIC.’

She’s crying now, flinging her glasses onto the table to wipe her eyes. Perry moves over to sit on the edge of the bed and Tobin leans into her, head on her shoulder. Perry holds her as Tobin’s tears spill on her shoulder. She rubs her back slowly. 

They sit this way for a long time. Perry patiently letting Tobin let it all out. Perry knows Tobin typically mulls over what’s troubling her and lets her feelings out through soccer or working out. Now, that she can’t do that, she knew it would boil over and Tobin would have a meltdown. It came quicker than she expected, meaning it’s more serious and devastating to Tobin than she thought. Not that she thought Tobin wouldn’t be upset, just that she’s this upset, this soon. 

“We’ll make a plan, okay?” Perry comforts, “Something that will work for you. Baby steps through this whole thing.” 

Tobin nods as she leans back in her bed. Aching from crying. She’s holding her ribs and her jaw is throbbing again. 

Perry hits the button for the nurse and hands Tobin some tissue. Tobin wipes her eyes and gently blows her nose. Perry smiles at her. “You’re going to be okay, it will take some time, but you’ll be okay.” 

Tobin nods as she reaches for her water. “Sorry.” She mumbles. 

Perry smiles sweetly at her. “I’m sorry I pushed you.” 

The evening shift nurse enters and surveys the scene. Perry turns to her, “Hi” she greets. 

“Hi there,” the nurse says. “What can do I to help?” she sees an obviously upset Tobin who’s still struggling to regain her composure. 

“Uh, we had a little emotional moment here,” Perry explains, glancing at Tobin, “her ribs and jaw are hurting pretty bad.” 

“Let me check her chart and see if I can give her anything,” the nurse kindly says and spins out of the room. 

“Okay?” Perry asks. Tobin nods. “Feel better getting that out?” 

Tobin nods and gives her a sheepish lopsided smile. “I do.” 

“See, talking can help, kiddo, don’t keep it all in.” Perry playfully elbows her.

Tobin shakes her head with a small grin. 

The nurse reappears pushing a tray and smiles at them, “Let’s give you a little something to make you feel better.” She says as she enters a note into the computer on the tray. She comes over and disconnects the IV and puts a syringe in the port. Tobin thinks briefly of Alex doing the same thing to her just a few hours ago. 

Tobin feels a wave hit her, relaxing her instantly and forcing her eyes to close. 

 

 

“There she is,” a voice says as Tobin’s eyes flutter open. She sees Allie looking down at her with a soft smile. “Hey, Harry.” She says. 

“Hey,” Tobin croaks out. Her throat is dry. She scoots up a little and Allie hands her the cup of water. She takes a drink and puts the cup back on the table. She rubs her eyes with fingers and shakes her head a little. She puts on her glasses to look at the clock. It’s seven. 

“Perry?” she questions. 

“Back to your place, something about a mess?” Allie answers. 

Tobin shakes her head and reaches for the dry erase board. ‘NOT LIVING THAT ONE DOWN ANYTIME SOON.’ 

“No,” Allie laughs. “But hey, you won’t have to put all of your stuff back downstairs.” She reasons. 

Tobin shrugs. 

Allie grows serious. “You scared the shit out of me, Har. I’m so glad you’re okay.” 

Tobin grimaces and sighs. 

“It’s okay,” Allie says. “I know.” 

“You know when you’re getting out of here?” Allie asks. 

“Think tomorrow,” Tobin says. 

“Can I get you anything? Chocolate shake or something?” Allie asks. Tobin shakes her head as she writes. 

‘TOO COLD, HURTS.’ 

“Sorry,” Allie replies, lower lip out. 

‘HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?’ Tobin writes, wanting to change the subject. 

“Oh, well, Bati and I went to see his parents and then we went to see Pink in concert and” Allie stops when they hear a knock at the door. 

 

“Hi,” Alex Morgan greets as she cautiously enters the room. She’s in her uniform, looking neat in the green slacks and tan long sleeve shirt with her badge on her chest. 

Tobin forgets to breath at the sight of her.


	5. Social Media

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Alex visit with Allie. Alex informs Tobin of the new developments in the case. Later, a bombshell is dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very grateful for the kind words of encouragement and kudos. 
> 
> I think this might be one of the cutest chapters to date. Tobin is, well, Tobin. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

“Hi,” Tobin breathes. Wow, she thinks, she’s just so beautiful. She nervously runs her hand through her hair. I must look like shit, she thinks. 

“Hi, Alex Morgan,” she introduces herself to Allie, extending a hand. 

“Allie Batista,” she grips her hand firmly.

“Nice to meet you,” Alex smiles warmly. “How are you feeling, Gizmo? They feeding you?” 

Tobin gives her a lopsided smile. “Pretty decent,”

“Gizmo?” Allie asks, her eyebrows high. 

“I couldn’t feed her after midnight and she was a little grumpy about it the next morning. The Gremlins movie?” Alex explains. 

“Oh,” Allie laughs, understanding the reference. “She got hangry on you?” 

“Not quite, but I think it was close,” Alex says easily giving Tobin a wink.

"She pouted, didn't she." Allie says with a smirk. Alex smiles and shrugs. 

“Sit, please,” Tobin says, gesturing to the chairs. Both women move and take a seat. Tobin is scribbling on her dry erase board. 

‘ALEX IS THE RANGER WHO FOUND ME AND SPENT THE NIGHT HELPING ME,’ She flashes it to Allie. 

“Oh, so you were out in the woods with Tobin, huh?” Allie asks. 

“Yeah,” Alex nods. 

“Well thank you for keeping her in one piece and getting her back to us,” Allie says sincerely. “You have no idea how relieved so many of us were when we heard you had called her Mom. That was really awesome of you.” 

“I’m just glad I had a satellite phone with me so we could.” Alex says quietly. “I can’t imagine how you all felt seeing what you did.” 

They sit in silence for a moment before Alex speaks again. 

“Tobin, your Mom and your sisters are really nice.” She says. “Even though they were really worried about you, they made sure I had breakfast and wasn’t starving. It was sweet.” 

Tobin blushes. 

“Aren’t they the greatest? I mean, Tobin here is pretty special but you can totally see where she gets it from.” Allie says. Ever playing the wingman, Tobin thinks as she rolls her eyes. 

“You brought Cindy here from the airport?” Allie asks and Alex nods.

“Where are they now?” Alex asks. 

“Cleaning Tobin’s apartment.” Allie laughs. Tobin shakes her head frowning at Allie. 

‘NOT COOL!’ she writes. 

“Let me guess,” Alex chuckles lightly, “your gear is all over the place?” 

Tobin nods and looks at Allie, giving her a scowl.

“I’m the same way,” Alex says giving Tobin a smile, “why put it back before your trip?” she shrugs her shoulders. 

Tobin points at Allie and shakes her finger. ‘EXACTLY!’ 

“Hey, where did you get that soup and the smoothie?” Alex asks. “It was really good. I want to get some for my house.” 

‘REI’ Tobin shows her. ‘THAT’S WHY I BOUGHT THEM. WANTED A QUICK EASY DINNER’ 

“Like camping food?” Allie recoils. 

“No, they’re actually really good and healthy. All natural ingredients and they’re just freeze dried. All you do is add hot water and stir.” Alex explains. 

“Really?” Allie is intrigued. 

“Yeah, they cost a little more but it’s totally worth it when you’re tired and don’t feel like cooking.” Alex says. 

‘THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT’ 

“Well, I guess it’s better than coming over and all you have to eat are apples and Captain Crunch with no milk.” Allie laughs. 

‘COULD WE MAYBE STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD? I MISS IT ALREADY’ Tobin frowns. 

“Sorry,” Allie and Alex say in unison. 

“Uh, I have your gear, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to bring it up.” Alex says. “I could always stop by your apartment when you get out of here, if you want.” 

‘THAT WOULD BE COOL.’ Tobin grins. 

“Good, I’ll even put it in your storage spot or whatever.” Alex smiles. 

"You are one brave woman," Allie smirks. "There's been some people that have entered that space and were never seen from again." 

Tobin is rolling her eyes. 

Alex smiles, "I'll take my chances. Should I bring my gun?"

"I don't know about that, but let's just hope that Tobin remembered to take any food out her other backpacks. Bug-O-Rama." Allie shivers at the thought of that day. 

'THAT WAS ONE TIME! WE WERE IN A HURRY!' 

“Ooh, look at the time,” Allie says as she checks her watch. “I’ve got to go. Text me tomorrow okay?” she says getting up suddenly. “It was nice meeting you Alex, next time remind me to tell you the story of Tobin taking me out in the woods on my campus visit.” she smirks and she’s out the door. 

Tobin cringes as Alex looks at her. 

“Was it something I said?” Alex asks. Tobin shakes her head. 

“Just Allie,” she replies, her voice scratchy. 

Alex scoots her chair closer to Tobin’s bed. “Have you, uh, looked at anything online yet?” she asks quietly. Tobin shakes her head. 

“Maybe consider not looking for awhile, okay?” Alex suggests. “Let yourself get back to feeling a little more, I don’t know, settled. We’re tracking cell towers but can’t find them just yet.” Tobin looks alarmed. 

“You’re safe, they’re somewhere south of here.” Alex says quickly. “But I was thinking, I know it’s not easy for you to talk, and I know it’s not easy for you to talk about, but we need to get an official statement from you.” She says as shifts in her chair. 

“I was thinking, if you emailed me your note, I can attach it my report and have you sign off on your narrative. That way, you don’t have to go through it all over again right now.” She explains. 

Tobin grabs her phone off the table and quickly locates her note. She prepares the email and hands the phone to Alex to enter her address. Then she picks up the dry erase board and starts writing. 

‘THANK YOU FOR BEING SO KIND AND CONSIDERATE TO ME. IT IS VERY HARD TO TALK ABOUT. I APPRECIATE YOU MAKING IT EASIER.’ 

“You’re welcome,” Alex smiles putting Tobin’s phone back on the table. “I know how upsetting it is for you.” 

‘ARE YOU CLOSE TO CATCHING THEM?’ 

“Well, yes and no,” Alex says. “We’re like a step behind them right now. They’re staying in little motels and posting stupid shit and leaving before we can get to them. But we’ll get them. I can guarantee it, we will get them.” Her jaw hard with determination. 

Tobin nods and sighs. 

‘TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT WHAT THEY’RE SAYING?’ She looks up at Alex, her expression forlorn.

Alex sighs, “It’s just stupid shit Tobin,” she says as she picks at a piece of lint on her pants. 

Tobin knocks on her table and points to her board again. “Please?” she asks. 

Alex huffs, she doesn’t want to do this. “Well, after the first video they posted another. Mara is kicking you in the ribs screaming at you. It seems like she was in love with you or obsessed or something.” 

Tobin’s hand goes to her ribs as she hears it. 

“They posted some stories about you at camp and on your club team, trying to make you look bad. Stupid high school shit that is very hard to believe.” 

“They posted another video taking your boots and bag and stuff saying if you weren’t dead, you’d certainly be by the next day.” She shakes her head. “I don’t get it, they’re basically showing themselves commit attempted murder and then assault like they don’t care if they get caught.” 

Alex is silent thinking about their motives. 

“Your fans are all being very supportive. They just want you to get well soon.” She finishes kindly. 

Tobin is silent, thinking about what Alex just said. 

‘THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME KNOW WHAT THEY’RE SAYING ISN’T TRUE. THAT’S WHAT MATTERS’ she writes. 

“Yes, that’s what matters Tobin. Please don’t let them get you down, I’m really sorry they’re dragging you through this. I promise, we’re doing everything we can to catch them.” Alex says, leaning forward to lay her hand on Tobin’s forearm. 

Tobin nods her head. 

'I WAS NEVER WITH HER' 

Alex waves her hand at Tobin, "I wouldn't judge you if you had been." she says easily. 

“I should get going,” she says as she stands up. “I’ll be back in the morning to have you sign the report, okay?” 

Tobin looks up at her and gives her a lopsided smile. “Thanks,” she says. “For everything.” 

“No problem,” she says. “Get some rest, okay? You look pretty tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Bye,” Tobin says as Alex leaves. 

Tobin sighs and looks around her room. At least I’m out of here tomorrow afternoon, she thinks. She gets the remote and turns off the lights and lays back in bed. I try so hard to be private about my life and now here it is being splashed all over the news, she thinks glumly. What am I gonna do, she wonders. Do I put something out there or should I just be quiet. I certainly don’t want to engage Mara and Liz in a Twitter war or something stupid. She snuggles in to get more comfortable as she relaxes more. I’ll figure something out when they get caught. Maybe then I should put something out, like a thank you. I should talk to my agent Tony, he’ll give me some good advice. She closes her eyes and lets sleep overcome her. 

 

“Should we tell?” Tobin can hear a quiet voice. She’s still in the grips of sleep so she just lays there. 

“I don’t know, think she’ll get upset?” another voice asks. Her Mom. 

“I think we tell her after its over. No sense her getting worked up about it.” That’s Katie. 

“Sssshh,” a voice admonishes, “You’re going to wake her up. She needs to sleep. She looks like shit.” And that would be Perry who always tells the truth. Thanks sis, Tobin thinks. 

“Let’s just see what her mood is when she wakes up.” Her Mother advises. “You know how moody she gets.” I am not moody. Sometimes I just like to be quiet. Why does everyone think I’m moody, Tobin wonders. Screw them, I’m going back to sleep. Maybe I won’t look like shit when I get up. She sighs and turns slightly to settle back down. 

 

“Tobin, honey, wake up.” She hears her Mom’s voice and a gentle hand on her forearm. She sighs and turns her head. “Sweetie, wake up. Alex is here and she needs you to sign some papers.” 

Tobin’s eyes flutter open and squints at the brightness. She puts her hand up to her eyes to shield herself from it. “Bright,” she coughs out. 

“Get the blinds,” a voice says. Katie maybe. Tobin hears a click and the room seems darker. 

She blinks rapidly as she lowers her hand. “Hey,” she says as she looks around the room. 

“Good morning,” her Mom says, “you were really out. How are you feeling?” she asks as she raises Tobin’s bed into the sitting position. 

“Can’t tell,” Tobin admits as she shakes her head, trying to get herself together. She reaches for her glasses and see two drink trays on her table. She looks to her left and sees Alex standing there in uniform. God, she’s so hot, she thinks. And here I am just waking up in front of her, what an idiot. She wipes her cheek and removes a healthy amount of drool. I’m sure I look stunning, Tobin thinks wryly. 

She puts her glasses on and runs a hand through her tangled hair. “Morning,” she greets, her voice low and raspy. 

“Sorry to wake you, but I have the report,” Alex apologizes. “I brought you a tea,” 

“Oh, thanks,” Tobin says as Alex hands it to her. 

“She brought us coffee.” Perry grins and glances at Katie, sharing a look. 

Alex pulls a file from her backpack and places it in front of Tobin. “The top part is your statement. It’s directly from your phone, no changes. If you sign here and then on the next page, that’s it.” She informs. 

Tobin glances at it and sees her story neatly typed out on an official Mt. Hood State Park Police Report Form. She stretches her fingers and makes a fist a couple of times to get them loose and takes the pen from Alex’s hand and signs. 

“That’s it?” she questions as Alex takes the file and places it back in her pack. 

“Yep,” Alex nods. “I’ve really got to get back, so I’ll see you around, okay?” 

“Sure,” Tobin says as she shifts to sit up more. “Thanks.” 

“Text me later?” Alex asks, her eyes hopeful. 

“Yeah.” Tobin smiles crookedly. 

“Later,” Alex says with a smile. As she moves to the door, Tobin sees she Mother fawning over Alex and giving her a hug. Katie gives her a hug and Perry walks out with her. 

What is happening here, she wonders. I’m so confused. Tobin finds her board and pen. 

‘WHAT IS GOING ON?’ she looks at her Mom and her sister. 

They look at each other, Tobin can tell they’re having a silent battle about whatever it is to tell her. 

She knocks on her table and points to the board, frowning. 

“They’ve caught Mara and Liz.” Her Mom says. “Well, actually, not yet. They’re in a standoff at some motel with a SWAT Team.”


	6. Gift of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is released from the hospital and her family helps her get set up at home. Alex comes to see her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short and a little cliff hangery. 
> 
> Just moving the story along. I'll have an update posted very soon. Promise.

Tobin looks at them, trying to comprehend what they’ve just told her. 

“SWAT Team?” she asks. 

“They’ve barricaded themselves in a hotel room. The Police are trying to negotiate with them to come out.” Katie explains. 

Tobin thinks for a moment and then writes on her board. 

‘WE SHOULD PRAY NOBODY GETS HURT.’ 

Her Mom and Katie nod and they all say a silent prayer to watch over the Police and Mara and Liz and for this situation to end peacefully. 

“You should get up and get dressed,” Katie suggests. “You’re going home today.” 

 

Alex shares what she can with Perry about the details of the standoff as they walk to the elevators. 

“I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for Tobin and my family.” Perry says sincerely. “You’ve gone above and beyond and have been so considerate to all of us.” 

“You’re welcome,” Alex says shyly, “Tobin’s pretty special and I see where she gets it from.” She says as she pushes the button to signal the elevator. “It’s been such a shock to you all, I just wanted to try and make it a little easier.” 

“Well, you have,” Perry leans in and gives her a quick hug. “thank you.” 

“You’re very welcome,” Alex replies warmly. 

“I hope to see you around.” Perry smiles, a little gleam in her eye. 

“Well, I’ll be sure to keep you updated with investigation, so I’ll probably see you about that,” Alex rambles nervously. What is that look she’s giving me, she wonders. 

“Yeah, that too,” Perry grins as the elevator doors open. 

Alex blushes furiously as she steps in faces Perry. “Uh, see you,” she mumbles, embarrassed she the doors close. Am I that obvious, she wonders. Well, yeah, if her very straight sister can pick up on you having the hots for Tobin, then yeah, you are obvious, she grins to herself. 

Tobin is so adorable waking up. She’s like a little puppy, stretching and yawning and, yeah, even the drool thing. God, she’s so beautiful. Even with messy bed head and all bruised up, God, she’s just the complete package. She’s smiling on her drive back to the station in Sandy so she can submit her addendum to her report to the other agencies. 

 

“Where are we?” Tobin asks, she’s confused as to where they wheeled her for her release. Dave, one of the Thorns media and PR people came up and to let her know the press was outside the hospital hoping for some words from her on her release. 

“Pam is out there telling the reporters that Dr. Brown is preparing a Press Release and we’re going out of this exit on the other side of the hospital so they don’t see you.” He explains. 

Dr. Breanne Brown, or Dr. Bre, as the Thorns players call her had been in to see her and explain her injury care upon release. Tobin had an oblique, displaced fracture of her tibia that required surgery, that she performed. Her fibula was a clean, transverse fracture. The tip of her tibia had cut into her calf muscle slightly. They gave her some internal sutures for that and put in a plate and a few screws in her leg on her tibia. 

Her jaw surgery was performed by an oral surgeon who realigned her jaw and inserted the wiring to hold it in place. Once her swelling lessened, she should be absolutely fine and not require any type of plastic surgery. The break was clean, her teeth were fine. She was extremely lucky but she’d be on painkillers for a few weeks because of the intense pain.  
“Really Tobin,” Dr.Bre says, “I don’t know how you don’t have a concussion or some sort of brain bleed. Or even how you were conscious throughout that whole ordeal and not pass out from the pain. "Someone was watching over you.” 

Tobin thinks of Alex saying that in the shelter. 

“Stay in the surgical boot twenty-four hours a day. Cover it when showering. I’ll see you Friday at PP for a check-up. Keep it elevated. One of the trainers will come over every morning to change the dressing. You are non-weight bearing. Got it?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. 

“For your jaw, we’re sending you home with a medicated mouth rinse. Use it in the mornings, after every protein shake you drink and before bed. You have external stitches in your gum line and we want to keep your mouth as healthy and bacteria free as possible. Brush your teeth after every meal, use the mouthwash after brushing.” She explains. 

“I’m sending you home with dental wax, remember that from your braces? Use it on any area that’s rubbing against your inner cheek or irritating you. Naomi, the team nutritionistl will come by tomorrow, late morning I think, to set up your diet.” She continues. 

“If you feel sick, bend over and pull at the side of your mouth,” she says, hooking a finger at the corner of her mouth to show Tobin, “the vomit will mostly come out your nose as well. If you vomit more than twice, call me, I will prescribe anti-nausea meds. Also, random nose bleeds are normal as long as you’re not hemorrhaging. They’ll last week. Some mouth bleeding is normal too.” 

She looks at her chart. “Finally, you’re on Percocet for pain- don’t screw around with it. Follow the directions. Steroids for swelling. No lifting, no excessive bending, sleep in the upright position, with like three pillows behind you on your back. Physical Therapy will visit you tomorrow to review.”

Dr. Bre looks at Tobin. “This is the hardest part for you: do absolutely nothing. Go home and lay around. Sleep. You need sleep. Your body experienced serious trauma and needs to recover. You need to have oxygen when you sleep or nap. They’ll be delivering it tonight with a Respiratory Therapist to review protocol.” 

“Everything is written out for you to follow, questions- call me.” Dr. Bre finishes. 

 

Tobin is stunned. This is a lot to take in. She’s glad her Mom and Perry can stick around for a few days. She’s on overload thinking of this as they wheel her down various corridors until they stand next to a random exit sign. 

“Ready?” Katie asks as she opens the door. A black mini-van is right outside. Tobin squints at how bright it is as they wheel her to the passenger door. She awkwardly hops out of her wheelchair and into the seat. Her Mom and Katie get in the back with Dave. Perry was already on her way back to Tobin’s place in Tobin’s car. 

 

Tobin is shocked by how tired she is. Just crutching out of the car to the elevator and down the hall to her apartment exhausted her. She crumples onto her couch as her Mom, Katie and Perry start unpacking her items from the hospital. As the chatter quietly about how to organize her medications, Tobin shuts her eyes and drifts off to sleep, happy to be home. 

When Tobin awakes, her house smells wonderful. That’s a red sauce cooking, is my Mom making her lasagna, Tobin wonders. She cranes her neck towards the kitchen and sees her Mom, talking to Katie about something. She looks around her living room, all of her gear is gone, the area neat and tidy. She wasn’t a messy person per se, maybe just more casual about where things belonged. 

She slowly gets in the sitting position, mindful of her ribs and attempts to get off the couch. Her second attempt is successful and she grabs her crutches to head to the kitchen. 

“Hi honey, did you have a good nap?” her Mom asks, giving her a light side hug and a kiss in her cheek. Tobin nods. 

“What are you making?” she asks slowly. Her voice sounds so weird to her, speaking without moving her jaw. 

“Lasagna.” Her Mom smiles as Tobin frowns. “What’s wrong?” 

“Can’t eat it.” Tobin pouts, already missing how it tastes. 

“Nonsense.” Katie grins. “Perry’s out getting a food processor so you can.” 

Tobin gives them a thumbs up. 

“My phone?” she asks looking around. 

Katie walks over to the back counter top, spins and extends it out to Tobin. “Here, I charged it for you.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin mumbles and slides it into the elastic of her shorts to crutch to a kitchen chair.

Tobin: Just got up from a nap on my couch. It was wonderful. Let me know when you have time to chat. 

She sends her text off to Alex. 

Her Mom sits down at the table. “Dear, you should know that Perry has been answering a lot of your texts from friends and teammates on your behalf. You might want to look through and see who’s been contacting you.” 

Tobin nods and begins to scroll through her messages. Perry had created groups for the Thorns and a separate one for the National Team, responding to their panicked messages upon seeing the video on Twitter. She spends almost forty minutes going through the messages, some from people she hasn’t heard from in forever, old PSG teammates, former National Team members, it’s overwhelming. 

Just as she’s ready to put her phone down, a new message pops up. Alex. 

Alex Morgan: I bet it was great. Busy now, but could I stop over to talk around 8:00? It’s important. 

Tobin: Yeah, no prob. 

Tobin sends her the address. 

She looks around the table for her dry erase board. She can’t find it so she knocks on the table. Her Mom looks up at her from the island. “What do you need, honey?” she asks. 

Tobin mimics writing on her board. 

“I’ll get it,” Katie says as she moves to the living room. She grabs the board and pen from the coffee table and brings it to Tobin along with a glass of water. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says as she writes. 

‘ALEX IS COMING OVER TO TALK ABOUT 8:00’ 

“Okay, dear, dinner will be ready at seven, maybe she’d like some dessert.” Her Mom says offers kindly. Tobin nods and goes back to her phone. 

She texts Cheney. 

Tobin: can’t talk real well but want you to know, you’re strength helped me through this. I love you. 

Moments later her phone indicates a Facetime call from Cheney. 

“Hi,” Tobin answers. 

“Tobin!” Lauren exclaims seeing Tobin’s bruised face. “I’m so happy you’re alive!” 

“Me too,” Tobin mumbles. 

“Are you feeling okay? You’re as white as a ghost.” Lauren evaluates her, looking closely. 

“Banged up but okay.” Tobin says as she wipes the side of her mouth, checking for drool. The left side of her face is still pretty numb, the doctors had to reattach a couple of nerves and she doesn’t have much sensation in the area. They told her it would come back in a couple of weeks. It’s pretty normal for her type of injury. 

Lauren’s eyes are tearing up. “I was so scared. I couldn’t believe you survived that fall. I thought Perry was lying about your injuries and just trying to stay positive. I’m so happy you’re going to be okay.” she cries. 

When Lauren cries, Tobin cries. That’s just how it is between them. Tobin wipes her eyes and moves her phone to lean up against her water glass. She writes on her board. 

‘SHE WASN’T LYING. JUST A BROKEN LEG, SOME BUSTED RIBS AND MY JAW. THE REST IS JUST BRUISES.’ 

She holds it up for Lauren to read. 

“Just a broken leg,” Lauren snorts as she wipes her eyes. “Tobin, we’re going to put you in a plastic bubble, okay? Just, don’t leave your apartment.” 

Tobin gives her a lopsided smile. 

Perry enters the kitchen holding a large box. “Got you a food processor, Tobs! Now you can have Mom’s lasagna.” She announces as she places it on the table next to Tobin. “Hi Lauren!” she greets. 

“Hi Perry! How are you?” Lauren asks. 

“Doing good.” She nods. “I think we’ve got Tobs here set up pretty good.” 

“Good,” Lauren nods. “So, Tobs, what’s this I hear about a cute Ranger that’s got the hots for you?” she asks with a smirk. 

Tobin’s eye shoot wide open and she looks at Perry who’s laughing. She’s blushing furiously as she scribbles on her board. 

‘CHENEY? WTF! SHE’S JUST SUPER NICE AND WAS DOING HER JOB HELPING ME!’ 

Lauren laughs. “Okay, Tobin, okay.” 

Tobin lets a huff out and glares at Perry who’s opening the box she brought in. 

‘CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? PLEASE?’ 

Lauren laughs a little harder and smiles at Tobin. “Sure, how long do you have the mouth hardware?” she asks. 

‘LIKE 8 WEEKS’ 

“How in the world are you going to not be able to talk for that long? Or eat?” she asks curiously. 

‘GUESS I’M GONNA FIND OUT’ 

Perry moves the processor off the table and finds a space on Tobin’s counter top and plugs it in. 

“I’ll let you go so you guys can eat, but we’ll talk soon, okay?” Lauren says. Tobin nods. 

“I love you Tobin, feel better babe,” she says. 

“Love you, too,” Tobin replies. 

They end the call and Tobin wipes her eyes. She had so much more to tell Cheney about her ordeal but just couldn’t bring herself to it just yet. 

“Let it cool down, it’s hot.” Perry says as she slides a glass of orangish muck in front of her. 

Tobin looks at the pureed lasagna and raises her eyebrows a little. Her Mom and Katie join them with their plates and begin to eat. Tobin looks around the table, suddenly a bit overcome with emotions. 

‘THANK YOU GUYS FOR EVERYTHING. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. I LOVE YOU’ she holds the board up as a few tears escape her eyes. 

Perry slides an arm around her and squeezes gently. “Anytime, kiddo,” she says and kisses Tobin’s temple. 

“Well, speaking of that,” Katie begins, “I actually have to leave. I have a flight out first thing in the morning.”

“Okay, I understand,” Tobin says. She knows Katie has to get back to own family. Her kids need her. 

“Mom and I can stick around to the end of the week and then we’ve got some of your friends coming over to help you out.” Perry explains. 

“I’ll be fine,” Tobin mumbles, not wanting to put anyone out. 

“Don’t be silly,” her Mother says pointing her fork at her. “They’ve all asked how to help. It’s the off season so we’ve got them lined up.” 

“You won’t be doing much of anything for a while, Tobs,” Perry states. “Post-surgical shut down. Only after your leg incision heals and they cast you, then they’ll start you on some light PT.” 

“Plus your ribs won’t let you do much until they heal.” Katie adds. 

Tobin slumps back in her chair with a sigh. “I know.” She says quietly. She scribbles on her board. 

‘GUESS I’LL FIND SOME NEW HOBBIES NOW. MAYBE BECOME A PRO VIDEO GAMER. WATCH OUT WORLD!!!’ 

“I’m sure the time will pass quickly, you’ll be up and around soon, sweetie.” Her Mom says. 

“Yeah, maybe you can finally read some of the books I’ve told you about. I saw the pile of them in your room.” Katie adds. 

Tobin nods. She thinks for a minute before she wipes her board and writes again. 

‘GOTTA VIEW THIS AS A GIFT OF TIME FOR MYSELF. HELP ME PROCESS WHAT HAPPENED. I’ll BE FINE.’ 

“That’s a good attitude, dear,” her Mom says, giving her a sweet smile. 

 

 

‘MOM, THE LASAGNA WAS AWESOME! THANKS!’ Tobin flips up her board as she finishes drinking her dinner. It was actually kind of gross to drink it, but it tasted okay. Her senses are off from the meds and the nerves being injured in her jaw.

“Oh, you’re welcome sweete, I made three trays to freeze- “ she stops and looks at Tobin closely. “Sweetheart, your nose is bleeding.” She grabs from Kleenex and brings it to Tobin. 

Tobin lightly puts pressure on her upper lip as she wipes at her nose. 

As Tobin tilts her head back to stop the bleeding, she hears a knock at her door. She hears Perry greeting someone and then her voice becoming concerned. 

“Are you alright, Alex?” Perry says. 

Tobin turns her head to see Alex slowly walking into her kitchen. She’s pale and looks upset. She’s still in uniform and Tobin notices she’s wearing a full gunbelt and a bullet proof vest. 

“Tobin, I have to talk to you,” Alex says, her voice full of uncertainty.


	7. Not Processing It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex informs Tobin and her family of what has occurred in the last few hours.

“Oh, sweetheart, can I get you something to drink or eat? Did you have dinner yet?” Tobin’s Mom offers kindly. It’s sweet how nice she is to Alex, Tobin thinks as she continues to stop her bloody nose. 

“No, Mrs. Heath, I’m fine, thank you.” Alex replies, her voice struggling to show professionalism, Tobin thinks. 

“Alex, I’ve told you to please call me Cindy,” she smiles at her. 

“Sit down,” Perry invites Alex to the seat across from Tobin. Alex slides into the seat. 

“You okay?” Alex asks Tobin. Tobin nods as she looks at Alex. Her nose has stopped bleeding and she wads up the bloody Kleenex, putting it in another. 

“You?” Tobin asks her, studying her intently. 

Alex sighs and looks down for a moment, then looks up quickly, realizing the other women are watching her. Tobin watches how Alex pulls herself together, sits straight up in her chair and addresses them. 

“My supervisor, Jerry, sent me to talk to you. He’s, uh, not a fan of the State Police too much and offered our services.” She makes eye contact with all of them. 

“Mara and Liz were located at a motel in Yancalla, off Highway 5. That’s south of Eugene. They barricaded themselves in their room and held them off for about six hours.” She says. Alex fidgets with a napkin left on the table. “There’s no nice way to say this,” she pauses and takes a deep breath, “they killed themselves. We think maybe Mara shot Liz and then herself.” 

“Oh my God,” Perry says softly, reaching to grab Tobin’s still hand on the table. Tobin, unmoving. 

“I’m here because we know it’s going to become public. Jerry and I, well, we wanted to give you guys a heads up. So, this part is unofficial, even though it’s what happened, okay? I could get in trouble for telling you this before the State Police release it.” She looks around the table again. 

“Alex, don’t get yourself in trouble for us,” Katie says, leaning forward and putting her elbows on the table. 

“No, it’s important for you to know.” Alex is adamant. “But’s it’s awful.” She says softly, almost a whisper. 

She looks straight at Tobin. “I don’t want to upset you,” she says, her eyes searching Tobin’s. Tobin nods slightly, encouraging her to speak.

“Mara outed you in her last video. Claiming you and her had a relationship during high school.” Alex looks away, not able to see Tobin’s face from this. Tobin leans back in her chair, feeling a headache coming on. She starts tapping her right foot, a nervous gesture. Her stomach starts churning. 

“What else, dear?” Tobin’s Mom kindly asks. They all know Alex is struggling with whatever she has to say. 

“They were wearing your jerseys and wrote letters to you professing their love and anger and hatred. Rambling, drug and alcohol fueled missives, mostly repeating itself and not making much sense.” Alex finishes, as a lone tear escapes her eye. She swipes at it violently, struggling to remain professional. 

“I’m, so sorry,” she whispers to Tobin. Tobin’s eyes are unfocused and she's gone pale, well, even paler than she was. Perry looks at her, sees her foot tapping and watches as Tobin begins to swallow repeatedly as she tries to fight the nausea building. 

“Shit! She’s gonna puke!” Perry exclaims as she dashes to the counter to retrieve the plastic bin from the hospital. She makes it to Tobin’s side as Tobin suddenly bends to her right, pulling a finger at the corner of her mouth and vomits. 

All of the women stand up, looking as it happens. Tobin’s retching into the bin, it’s coming out her nose, she’s gagging and crying from the pain in her ribs. Katie gets a wash cloth and dish towels from the kitchen and brings them next to Perry, who is holding the bin and has one hand on Tobin’s back, lightly rubbing it. 

Cindy puts her arm around Alex and guides her over to the living room, while the girls get Tobin cleaned up.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” she asks Alex, concern in her eyes. “Were you on the scene and saw all of that?” she questions. 

Alex nods as she wipes her eyes again. 

“Come here,” Cindy says as she wraps Alex in tight hug. “I’m so sorry you had to see that gruesome sight,” she comforts as Alex begins to cry silently. Alex chastises herself for getting so emotional. I’m supposed to be professional right now, she thinks as she cries. But they’re all such nice people and Tobin doesn’t deserve this to be happening to her. I just feel so bad about it. 

Tobin’s watching with dull eyes, her body aching from getting sick. “I can’t believe you didn’t get anything on your shirt,” Perry is mumbling as she hands Tobin the mouth wash to use. 

After Cindy and Alex have their moment, Alex walks over to look at Tobin. “Are you alright?” she asks Tobin, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

Tobin nods, “Just, tired, achy,” she says. 

“You should go sit on the couch, Tobs,” Katie suggests. Tobin pushes back from the table as Perry goes to dump out the bin and throw the cloths in the laundry. Her leg is shaky and Alex catches her. 

“Here,” Alex says, “put your arm around me.” She offers and scoops Tobin up easily and carries her over to the couch, gently placing her down on the left hand corner cushion. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says, surprised at how strong Alex is. 

Alex smiles. “Feeling a little better?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, her face turning red from embarrassment. “Sorry I was gross,” 

“I’m sorry I made you feel sick,” Alex says softly, sincerely.

“I’m going to pack,” Katie announces as she finishes rinsing the plates that putting them in the dishwasher. 

“Mom, come help me with the thing in Tobin’s room,” Perry says, nudging her. 

Suddenly, Alex and Tobin are alone. “You should have that elevated,” Alex instructs, she gets up and pulls the coffee table close and gets a pillow. Tobin lifts her leg and settles it comfortably there. 

“Thanks,” she says, still embarrassed. Alex sits down next her. Close, leg touching next to her. It makes Tobin nervous. 

“Uh, get comfortable?” she asks Alex, tugging at her vest and motioning her belt. 

Alex looks unsure of herself, debating in her mind if she should. She came here for official reasons, not be chilling on a couch with the hottest woman she’s ever met. Fuck it, I’m off the clock, she decides and stands up. 

“I’m going to put them on the table if that’s okay,” she says as moves to the table and removes her belt and strips off the vest. 

“Alex, dear,” Cindy calls to her as she walks down the hallway, “have you eaten dinner?” 

“Uh, no ma’am,” Alex answers nervously. She’s being treated too well by this family. How is it possible for them to be this nice, she wonders. Don’t be so jaded, you’re family is pretty great too, she reminds herself. 

“I’m fixing you a plate, go sit by Tobin and I’ll bring it out.” Cindy instructs and shoos her away with her hands. 

Alex comes back with Tobin’s board and pen sensing they would talk and this would help. 

Tobin flashes her a smile and a look Alex can’t figure out. 

“You’re Mom is really nice, Tobin.” She feels like she’s repeating herself and Tobin must hear it all the time. 

Tobin smiles at her and nods.

A plate is handed to Alex and a glass of water. Alex thanks Cindy, who then returns with a small shot glass and a cup of water for Tobin. 

“Here, you’re due,” she informs Tobin to take her medication. Tobin dutifully swallows the meds, shaking her head and wincing a little at the taste and taking a long drink of water. She sets the cup down next to her on the end table. Her Mom disappears back down the hallway. 

She writes on her board. Her hand shakes a little from nerves. 

‘I’M SORRY YOU HAD A SHITTY DAY. IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN EASY TO SEE ALL THAT.’ 

Tobin looks at her. There’s such sorrow in her eyes, Alex thinks. All of this has happened to her and here she is being concerned for me. She’s really sweet. 

Alex shrugs, “It’s part of the job.” She says, thinking back to stepping under the crime scene tape and seeing the two dead bodies. She shivers a little. “I’m sorry this has gone so public for you. You don’t deserve it.” Alex says, looking deeply into Tobin’s brown eyes. They just look at each other for a moment. Tobin wipes her board and scribbles away. 

‘I’M JUST GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE. THE REST I’ll DEAL WITH LATER.’ 

Alex nods. Tobin starts to fidget. She’s nervous around Alex. That she can’t speak well right now only increases her nerves. 

She wipes her board again. ‘TELL ME ABOUT YOUR ENVIROMENTAL DEGREE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR THE STATE PARK?’ 

“Well, you know I work at the station, so I check in hikers and keep tabs of where they say they’re going and make sure they check out. We police the area, busting the teens that come out to drink and party. Even though pot is legal here, there’s still some idiots that like to plant their gardens on our land so we have to bust that up. We do land surveys, erosion studies and watch for forest fires.” She shrugs. “It’s not so bad. I usually get to hike a little every day, so being in the woods is my favorite. I help plan activities for kids and adults. Do nature lectures. It’s cool.” 

Tobin is scribbling on her board. 

‘DID YOU PLAN TO LEARN TO THE MEDICAL STUFF? IS THAT PART OF YOUR FORESTRY TRAINING?’ 

Alex laughs a little. “No, I just sort of fell into it.” She says as she relaxes back into the couch. “My boss, Jerry, had been interviewing new candidates for our team and was complaining that we needed a licensed SAR person but the pickings were slim. I was still pretty new at the time and asked what it entailed. It seemed really interesting to learn about search and rescue procedures so I signed up for the classes.” She takes a drink of water. 

“I think I found my passion for it because I ended up talking all of the available classes. I’m a certified paramedic now.” 

‘YOU’RE REALLY GOOD AT IT. NOT JUST THE MEDICAL PART. YOU WERE SO CALM, I WASN’T WORRIED ABOUT ANYTHING. IT’S LIKE YOU PUT A SPELL ON ME TO KEEP ME CALM.’ 

Alex reads it and bites her lip. “Well, if it wasn’t raining so bad, I probably would have gone out to get you some Phoenix tears.” 

Tobin’s eyes are wide open. Did she just make a Harry Potter reference, she wonders. She did. And now she’s looking at you because you’re staring at her, idiot. Say something. Tobin smiles at it comes to her. 

‘YOU DON’T CARRY ANY SKELE-GRO IN YOUR BAG? WHAT TYPE OF WIZARD ARE YOU?’

Alex laughs and holds her hands up apologetically. “Sorry, I was fresh out.” 

Tobin is holding her ribs with her right hand as she chuckles. 

“No worries,” she says, “I’ll be fine.” She erases her board. 

‘GUESS WE’RE BOTH BLESSED TO BE DOING WHAT WE LOVE.’ She looks up at Alex grinning. 

“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “I’m happy with my life. No regrets.” 

Tobin nods. “Same. So lucky.” 

Alex sees Tobin’s eyes growing a little heavier, remembering she had taken her medication. 

“I should go,” she says. “You’re gonna be too drugged to get to your bed soon,” 

Tobin sighs, she realizes Alex probably has to work in the morning and shouldn’t be out late. 

‘THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING BY. I DON’T USUALLY VOMIT FOR VISITORS. SORRY ABOUT THAT.’ 

“Hey, I thought maybe that was just a weird kink you had,” Alex gives her a small smile. “I’m sorry about how this all worked out. I’m sorry about your friends. I know they did something horrible to you, but they were your friends first.” 

Tobin looks down for a moment, playing with the hem of her shorts. 

‘CAN’T LIE TO YOU. NOT REALLY PROCESSING ANY OF IT RIGHT NOW. NOT SURE WHEN I WILL.’ 

Alex lays on hand on Tobin’s shoulder, feeling her warmth. “You can only do so much right now. You don’t have to have all of the answers. Just focus on the what’s in front of you. Stay in this safe cocoon with your family as long as you can, they love you and are looking out for your best interests, okay?” 

“Thanks,” Tobin says looking at the bluest eyes she’s ever seen. “I appreciate it.” She mumbles. 

“Hey, Tobin, do you realize you own sixty-seven pairs of shoes? Not counting flip-flops?” Perry says as she approaches the living room. 

Alex laughs as she gets up from the couch and moves to the kitchen table to grab her vest and belt. 

Tobin shakes her head. 

“Heading out?” Perry asks Alex. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna lose her soon,” Alex says. “Her meds are starting to hit.” 

“I’ll get her to bed pronto.” Perry responds. She likes Alex. She likes how Alex acts with her sister. They would be good for each other. She gives Alex a hug. “Thanks again for everything, I know it wasn’t easy for you to tell us what happened, but it meant a lot that it came from you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Alex says. 

“Alex, you’re leaving?” Cindy asks as she comes down the hallway. “Katie, come say goodbye to Alex.” Perry is helping Tobin stand up and shoving her crutches at her. 

Katie practically squeezes Alex to death with her tight grip as she sweetly thanks for everything. Cindy follows suit, keeping an arm around her as she walks her to the door. 

They stop next to Tobin who’s standing in her doorway. “Bye, Lex,” she says quietly, her voice slow and low. Alex steps forward and gives her a light hug, mindful of her ribs. 

“Take care, we’ll talk soon okay?” she says, impulsively kissing her cheek. Tobin gives her this adorable, drug induced little grin that’s making Alex forget she’s standing in front of Tobin’s family. 

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes out, swaying in her feet a little. 

“Okay Tobs, let’s get you to the bathroom,” Perry instructs. Perry turns to Alex, “She’s like herding cats or something, never focused.” She laughs. Tobin slowly crutching into her room. 

Alex slaps her hand to her forehead as she walks down the hallway. You kissed her in front of all of them. Oh. My. God. What are you doing? They’re going to think I’m some sort of predator or something. Like I try to woo my rescues or something. Did I just say woo? I did. Oh man. I’m in too deep. 

She briskly takes the stairs down not wanting to wait for the elevator, shaking her head and talking to herself as she goes. 

 

Tobin can’t get the stupid grin off her face after Alex kissed her. She doesn’t know if it’s the drugs or what, but she can’t stop smiling. Perry, to her credit, refrains from giving her any shit about it as she helps her get ready for bed. 

Tobin is sloppily brushing her teeth as Perry is pouring her mouth wash into a cup. 

Tobin can’t contain herself. “Isn’t she great?” she asks, toothpaste foam and spit coming out of her mouth. 

Perry laughs as she wipes Tobin’s face carefully. “Yeah, she’s pretty cool.” She hands her the cup of mouth wash. “Rinse it out well,” she instructs. 

After they change Tobin’s water soaked shirt, she’s crutching ahead of Perry back to the living room. She wants to sleep on the couch. Perry is following her and hears Tobin say ‘she kissed me’ with a tone filled with awe and wonder. She shakes her head, new love, she thinks. You’ve got to be blind to see the fireworks between them. 

Tobin says goodbye to Katie, briefly shedding some tears, emotional from Katie leaving, the drugs and being exhausted. Her Mom and Perry get her settled on the couch, propped up with her oxygen line under her nose, legs extended resting comfortably on pillows on the coffee table. 

Sleep comes easily to Tobin, snoring lightly before her Mother drapes a blanket over her.


	8. The Tobito Burrito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little back and forth between Tobin and Alex. A date is planned.

“Your leg is looking good, Tobin.” Beckie, the Thorns Athletic Trainer announces. She’s just finished cleaning Tobin’s incision and is wrapping her leg back up. 

Tobin sleepily moves her hand up from under her comforter and gives her a thumbs up from her position sprawled out on the couch. She’s only moved to go to the bathroom, brush her teeth and change her clothes this morning. Then she parked her ass on the couch. She’s sore and her meds are making her drowsy. 

Beckie’s already inspected Tobin’s jaw and facial bruises, helping her lift her flannel shirt to unwrap her ribs and look them over before wrapping them back up. She’s making notes in her laptop. 

Beckie struggled to keep from gapsing the first time she saw Tobin. Her bruise across most of her forehead was turning a dark shade of purple with a little swelling remaining. The scratches were superficial, not deep or anything, but still shocking to see. Tobin’s left eye was blackening and so was her jaw on the left side. The swelling was beginning to subside from the joint.

“Maybe tomorrow you’ll feel a little better,” Beckie encourages her softly, “these first few days are the worst.” 

Tobin nods. She hasn’t spoken much, her jaw is hurting. The insides of her mouth are sore from the wires rubbing. It reminded her of her first few weeks with her braces when she was younger. 

Beckie gets Tobin’s leg back in the surgical boot and closes it back up. She begins to collect the used dressing and wrappers to throw away. Then she slowly brings down the leg of Tobin’s sweatpants. Tobin’s cold, like she has a chill and can’t shake it. 

As she brings the comforter back down to cover Tobin’s legs, she pats her right thigh, “Really glad you’re still with us, T.” 

Tobin musters a half smile and brings her hands out from her warm covers to reach for her board and pen. 

‘THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. NOT FEELING TOO GOOD TODAY. –I’M REALLY GLAD TOO’ 

“I would suggest some icing but I think you’d get hypothermia, you’re not feeling sick are you?” 

Tobin shakes her head. 

‘JUST COLD, LIKE CHILLED’ 

“Do you have a heating pad?” Beckie asks. Tobin shrugs, she has no idea. “I’ll talk to Perry. You relax, go to sleep.” 

Perry is sitting with her Mom and Naomi the Thorns nutritionist at the kitchen table. Naomi has her laptop out making a food chart for Tobin with the recommended diet she should follow. They cut down on her protein and calorie intake because she wouldn’t be as active as she normally is. The added challenge was making sure Tobin could get the nutrients she needs via a liquid diet. 

Tobin can hear them talk about macronutrients and carbs and she just doesn’t care. She's overwhelmed with all that happened and she feels crappy and just doesn't want to deal with it. She snuggles, brings the comforter up to cover her nose as she tries to warm up and fade into blackness. 

 

Tobin could barely drink her lunch. She wasn’t hungry. Perry had to encourage her to just get half of it in her before she was satisfied. Tobin slept the afternoon away, only saying she was cold and tired when asked if she was feeling okay. 

“Your phone’s been going off,” Perry says as she tosses it in Tobin’s lap as she heads down the hallway. 

Tobin pops an eye open and moves to grab her phone. It’s almost six o’clock, she notes. I haven’t done a damn thing today, she thinks. I don’t want to do a damn thing today. Just sleep. 

She sees a text from Alex, sent around noon. 

Alex Morgan: Hope you’re feeling a little better than yesterday. 

Tobin: Sorry, just looked at my phone. Been sleeping most of the day. Cold. Super tired. 

Alex Morgan: Do you have an electric blanket? 

Tobin: nah, snuggling with my comforter. 

Alex Morgan: Dude, you need an electric blanket. It’s the bomb. Like, totally. Best. Thing. Ever. 

Tobin: how so?

Tobin is grinning at this exchange. Perry sits on the coffee table next to Tobin’s legs and sets Tobin’s pack on the floor. She sees Tobin eying her. “Alex brought it back last night. Your sleeping bag and jacket, too." Perry unzips the main compartment and opens a piece of paper laying on top. She reads the note and smiles. “Tobs,” she says offering her the piece of paper “Read.” 

Tobin looks at the paper. 

‘Perry & Cindy, This is Tobin’s pack. I washed her clothes and cleaned her equipment and utensils. Just take her clothing out and it’s ready for storage. Her jacket and sleeping bag have been washed as well, none of this was needed as part of the investigation. In the front pouch are some gel packs, soups and smoothie mixes for Tobin. She had brought some of these and I got her a couple more. They’re all natural and might be a nice change of pace to get her to eat. The strawberry banana one is awesome.  
Alex’

Her phone chirps and Tobin flinches, dropping the paper on her lap. 

Alex Morgan: it's like being wrapped up in towels just out of the dryer. 

Tobin: okaaaaaay

Tobin: thanks for washing and cleaning my stuff. You didn’t have to do that.

Alex Morgan: My pleasure. Back to the blanket. It’s like a heated cocoon. 

Tobin: I’m not a slug. 

Alex Morgan: You sure? 

Tobin: LOL not really. Pretty slug like today

Alex Morgan: If you don’t have Perry or your Mom get you a heated blanket, I will. Seriously. It’s the best. 

Tobin turns to Perry who’s taking her clothes out of the pack and setting them on the couch. 

“Do I have an electric blanket?” Tobin mumbles. 

“A what? I can’t understand you,” Perry says. 

“Electric blanket.” Tobin repeats. 

“Electric blanket?” Perry says, “No, I don’t think so.” She turns to the hallway. “Mom?” she calls. 

“What dear?” her Mom answers. 

“Does Tobin have an electric blanket?” she asks. 

“No.” her Mother answers. 

Tobin raises her eyebrows at her sister and gives her the best puppy dog look she can muster. 

Perry stares at her sternly, then slowly her face melts into a smile. She points at Tobin. “Only because you were nearly killed, kiddo. Need anything else from Target?” 

Tobin shakes her head. “Take my wallet, charge it,” she instructs. 

Tobin smiles and turns back to her phone. 

Tobin: Perry is on her way to Target right now. 

She overhears her Mother giving Perry a list of items to get while she’s at the store. Tobin spies her beanie laying on the couch. She reaches over and snatches it, putting it low on her head over her ears. Why didn’t I think of this before, she wonders. 

Alex Morgan: Send me a pic of the Tobito Burrito when you’re warmed up.


	9. A Step To Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Tobin's and Alex's texting, Perry being her usual self, Allie coming by and Tobin getting an idea to express herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So dumbass me just realized the whole Chapter 8 didn't load properly. Probably due to a stupid emoji during their texting portion. So, with my apologies, you get an extended chapter of cuteness, with some furthering of Tobin's tale.

Alex Morgan: Send me a pic of the Tobito Burrito when you’re warmed up.

Tobin: will do, you better be right. Shivering over here. 

Alex Morgan: I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I? 

Tobin: I thank God you haven’t. 

Tobin grows a little nervous. This is flirting, right, we’re flirting here, she thinks. 

Tobin: So, I’m not going to be mobile for a while. I was wondering if you’d like to maybe come over for that smoothie? I heard you really like banana strawberry and I just so happen to have some here. 

Tobin’s hands start sweating. 

Alex Morgan: Rest of my evenings are free. Tell me what works for you. 

Tobin smiles at her phone, staring at the screen. She said yes, I can’t believe it. 

Tobin: How about Friday? Just come after work or whenever, I’ll be here. 

Alex Morgan: Sounds good, looking forward to our date. 

Tobin: Me too. 

Tobin settles herself back under her covers, shivering from her hands and shoulders being for being exposed. She looks around the room, her Mom is doing laundry or something down the hall. She wants to share her excitement. Oh shit, she thinks. Mom and Perry. They leave Saturday afternoon. They’ll be here Friday night. Well, it’s not like you’re gonna make out on the couch with Alex or anything. She’d probably be cool if they were here and just hanging out. She seems pretty laid back.  
She lays her head back on her pillow and smiles. I’ve got a date with Alex Morgan. 

 

Alex stares at her phone. She’s eating dinner on her couch, curled up having the same soup Tobin had given her when they sheltered together. She had run into REI and bought some and a few more flavors as well. Wow, she thinks. That really happened. I have a date with Tobin Heath. She’s so funny. I really hope she likes the blanket. I hope she’s not getting sick or anything. 

Alex Morgan: hey, you’re not getting sick or anything, are you? 

Tobin: nah. Just cold. Like wiped out tired. 

Alex Morgan: Probably from running on adrenaline for the past few days. And awesome drugs. Keep using that nasal spray to help with the nosebleeds. 

Tobin: you’re right. I haven’t done a thing today. Too lazy I guess. 

Alex Morgan: You’re not lazy. You’re recovering from a traumatic experience and serious injuries. Your body needs to rest. So go to sleep. 

Alex Morgan: After you send me the burrito pic. 

Tobin smiles. 

Tobin: you haven’t steered me wrong yet, so I’ll do as you say. 

Tobin decides to get up and swing herself over onto the coffee table, she pulls her pack in front her and continues to remove her clothes. She brings a short up to her nose and inhales. It smells fresh and clean, like it was line dried. She organizes her clothes into piles to make it easier to put away. She pulls the smoothies and soups out, looking at the flavors. See grabs the energy gels and opens one eat while she waits for Perry to get back. She leaves her journal out, tossing it on the couch. Satisfied she got all of the necessary items out, she zips the pockets up on her pack. 

She grabs her comforter and slings it around her like a huge cape as she sits there, eating on the chocolate energy gel. That’s how Perry finds her when she walks in with a couple of bags from Target. 

“Oh my God, Tobin!” she laughs as she sees her. She drops her bags and takes her phone out snapping a quick photo of Tobin. 

“What?” Tobin asks, wondering what is so funny. 

“Hey, Ma!” Perry shouts, “come here!” 

Their Mother walks into the living room, “What are you shouting- oh my!” her Mom says as sees Tobin. 

Tobin looks back and forth between them. “What?” she asks as loudly as she can. 

Perry grabs a paper towel and hands it to their Mom. “Sweetie,” her Mother says kindly, holding back giggles, “you have some chocolate on your face.” She gently wipes it off. 

“I had a flashback to when you were four!” Perry’s laughing as she texts the photo out to their other siblings. 

“I can’t feel it, you know,” Tobin mumbles. She can’t be mad, she must look ridiculous. 

“That’s why I got you these,” Perry says as she pulls something soft out of one the bags and tosses it at Tobin. Tobin fumbles it into her lap and looks. A package of white hankies. 

“Thanks for not getting lace ones.” She says. 

Perry screws up her face. “Tanks fort Galatians?” 

Tobin moves on to the couch and grabs her board and pen. 

‘THANKS FOR NOT GETTING LACE ONES!’

The three of the laugh. 

“It’s like you’re like you’re wearing your double retainers all over again.” Perry says. “Come on, let’s get you warmed up and snuggled up in your new blanket.” She grabs the blanket from Tobin’s back. “You slur when you’re tired.” 

“She’s done that since she was little.” Her Mom comments as she takes the laundry detergent out of a bag and walks it over to the machine. 

Tobin slowly stands and steadies her legs. They’re stiff from not moving most of the day. She grabs her crutches and heads to the kitchen.

Tobin opts to make a soup for herself, choosing a chicken broth. She runs the tap to get some lukewarm water. Hot and cold temperatures still bother her mouth, so lukewarm it is. She opens the pouch and adds the water, grabbing a spoon to stir it well. She pours half of the soup in her plastic cup on the counter and slides the cup to the edge, then crutches over to the table and grabs the cup, placing it on the table. She sits as she drinks her soup, wondering where what her Mother and sister are doing. 

Perry comes out of her room and looks at Tobin at the table. 

“You’re up? And you’re eating? I would have made that for you,” she says laying a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. 

Tobin shrugs, “Felt like doing it myself.” 

“Okay,” Perry says as she goes to the counter and returns with the pouch. “How is it?” she asks, wrinkling her nose. Tobin hands her the cup. She takes a sip. Nods. Takes another sip. “Not bad.” 

“Thanks for going to the store,” Tobin says, looking up at her. 

“No prob,” Perry smiles, “I’m going to set the blanket up. Where’s your extension cord?” 

Tobin points to the cabinet her TV sits on. “Bottom drawer.” 

Perry opens the bag and gets the blanket out and lifts it from the packaging. “This is as close to Carolina Blue as it comes,” she smiles at Tobin. 

Tobin gives her a lopsided grin as she wipes her face with her napkin. She pours the second half of her soup into her cup as her Mom enters the kitchen area. “That smells good,” her Mom says and Tobin lifts the cup to her. She takes a sip. “Pretty decent,” she comments, handing it back to Tobin. 

“Are you still cold, dear?” she asks, rubbing Tobin’s back. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies. “This helped.” She’s getting tired again. 

“Good,” she says. “Do you want to head back to the couch and get warm?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says as she grabs her crutches. She crutches over to the sink and brushes her teeth and uses the mouth wash. She had brought a toothbrush and a tube of paste out here so she wouldn’t have to make a trip to her bathroom. She opens the packet of dental wax and awkwardly takes a fingertip full and runs it along the wires in her mouth. She washes her hands and slowly heads to the couch, tiredness creeping in from the short bust of activity. 

Perry’s laid the blanket out on the couch and coffee table so Tobin slides in and sits, getting her feet in place and clumsily wrapping the blanket around herself. Perry walks by and sighs when she sees Tobin struggling a little so she decides to have some fun. 

“Let me give you a hand,” she grins devilishly as she takes the end of the blanket and wraps it over Tobin. She walks around to the other side of her and wraps it up and stuffs the end under the couch cushion. 

“Perry!” Tobin exclaims, laughing. Perry’s laughing as she brings the edges up to Tobin’s neck and tucks it in while wrapping the blanket to give her a hood. She takes Tobin’s phone and snaps a photo. She hands the phone to Tobin who brings her hand out from her neck area. 

She looks at the photo. She’s grinning and her eyes are shining with laughter. She smiles as she pulls up her text thread with Alex. 

Tobin: Exhibit A: The Tobito Burrito 

She sends it with the photo. 

Alex Morgan: LOL! Hilarious! Warming up? 

Tobin: finally! 

Alex Morgan: Good, now go to sleep. TTYL 

Tobin: Night

 

 

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is really chapter 9, sorry again for the screw up. 

 

 

Tobin awoke on Thursday feeling refreshed. She felt more with it mentally and found herself studying the nutrition guide Naomi left as she drank her breakfast. She was up early before Perry or her Mom which was unusual. She skipped taking her morning pain killer opting to see how long she could go before her body began to ache. She didn’t want to rely on the drugs to mask how she was doing and just wanted to test it out and see if she could go a little longer than the recommended dosage times. She hated how lethargic the Percocet made her feel. 

Her mouth was still irritated from the wires and after she brushed her teeth and used the mouth rinse, she applied the dental wax again. She didn’t want to disturb her Mom by going into her room to get dressed, so she crutched over to the living, thinking of something to keep her busy. She didn’t want to watch TV, she was charging her phone, she didn’t want to read. 

A small smiles comes to her lips as she thinks about what she wants to do. 

She crutches over to the fridge and pulls out her egg carton, bacon and a few potatoes. She’s going to surprise Perry and her Mom with breakfast. It takes some forethought to get everything over to the stove, but she does and ends up leaning on her crutches with her left leg off the floor as she begins. She’s chopped the potatoes into small pieces and placed them in a sauce pan with melted butter, cooking them on a low heat. 

She makes herself a hot tea and puts an ice cube in to help cool it down and lets it set whiles she cooks. 

This feels good, she thinks to herself. To be busy doing something, especially as a small offering of thanks for all Perry and her Mom have done for me this week. 

Just as she was getting started, Perry pads out from Tobin’s guest room. 

“Morning,” Perry says as she enters the kitchen. 

“Hey,” Tobin greets as she turns places the bacon strips on her fry pan. 

“I can do this, you go sit down,” Perry offers. 

“Nah,” Tobin says as she stirs the potatoes carefully. “Make yourself a coffee.” 

Perry sees the determination on Tobin’s face so she moves to get her caffeine fix. She brings a couple of sheets of paper towels over next to Tobin and places them on the counter. 

“Thanks,” Tobin mumbles, adding some seasoning to the potatoes. 

Perry stands next to her, watching her cook. “You take your pain meds?” she questions. 

Tobin shakes her head. Perry moves to get them and Tobin grabs her arm. “Want to see how I feel without it.” 

Perry is silent, thinking. She knows Tobin can be stubborn but she also knows Tobin is not reckless or stupid. She imagines that she herself would want to know how long she could go without meds. None of the Heaths like to depend on any types of medications if possible. 

“Let me know when you want them, okay?” she says softly. Tobin nods, now stirring the potatoes. 

Perry sits down at the island. “I’d like two eggs over easy.” She orders with a smile. 

Tobin turns her head to grin at her and flashes her a thumbs up. She turns the burner off for the bacon and places the strips on the paper towel. Then she starts the eggs. 

Soon, she plates the meal and pushes it towards Perry and crutches around the island to sit for a minute. She hears the shower start, meaning that her Mom is up. 

“Thanks Tobin, this was a nice surprise.” Perry smiles as she pops the last of her bacon in her mouth. 

“Thank you, for everything.” Tobin says seriously, laying a hand on Perry’s forearm. 

Perry looks at her. Tobin’s still pale and her bruises look awful but her eyes look clearer. Maybe it’s because of the absence of her pain meds, but Perry thinks Tobin might just be feeling a bit better. She gives Tobin a soft smile, “We’re family, it’s what we do.” 

Tobin nods. She hears the shower turn off, so she gets up and starts her Mother’s breakfast. 

“You hafta do dishes, tho,” she grins at Perry. 

“Fair trade off,” Perry laughs. 

“Oh, sweetie, this is so nice!” her Mom says as Perry puts her plate and a cup of coffee in front of her. Tobin smiles and shrugs. 

 

 

Beckie will be coming over soon to change Tobin’s leg dressing and that’s it for the day. After breakfast, Tobin has her Mom help her take a shower and get dressed. She puts on baggy sweats again, her training pants are too tight to fit over the surgical boot and she doesn’t feel like cutting a pair up today. She throws on an old Thorns t-shirt and leaves her foot bare. She’s not a big fan of socks. 

She takes her pain medication as she began to feel the insistent gnaw of pain from her jaw and leg. 

She crutches out of her room and back to her spot on the couch. She grabs her phone and peers over her shoulder, looking for Perry or her Mom and snaps a quick selfie. She had caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror when she was getting dressed and it disturbed her. She opens the photo and enlarges it. Her forehead has a rough oblong shaped bruise, thicker over her left eye and temple and tapering off over the middle of her right eyebrow. It’s multi-colored with deep shades of purple and near black with lighter blue hues around the edges. Within it are a few diagonal cuts with a scrape at her left temple. 

Her left eye is blackening above the lid and the bruise seems to be shifting lower with gravity. Her jaw is still swollen at the joint and almost to her chin, but much less than before. She can touch it without wincing in terrible pain. That is bruised as well with it slowly creeping down her neck. Scrapes run across it as well. Her mouth looks swollen from the wires and her lips are cracked from being so dry. She’s not particularly vain but she likes to look nice and put together. She rarely wears makeup and when she does, it’s only a little bit. She sighs and looks at the end table and grabs her beanie and puts it slowly on her head. She opens the camera app and looks at it. The beanie definitely looks much better. She’s not so ghoulish, like she’s one of the Walking Dead. She still looks pale, an unhealthy shade and her eyes look tired, as if she’s been up for an all nighter or is hungover. She sighs and closes the app and puts her phone on the end table. 

Perry is packing and she can hear her Mom on the phone. Since she’s been home, she’s been mostly sleeping or too drugged up to be aware of what’s going on. Her pain meds are starting to hit so she settles into the couch and pulls the blanket over herself. She grabs the oxygen line and hits the power button on the control box and pulls the line around her ears and sticks the nose piece just under her nose. She settles back to take a nap. 

She hasn’t been napping long before she feels a hand on her shoulder, gently waking her. “Tobin, Beckie is here to check you out,” Perry informs her. Tobin mumbles something unintelligible and turns her head into her pillow. 

“Come on Tobs,” Perry insists, “wake up.” She says as she shakes her shoulder. Tobin moans as her eyes slowly open and she looks around. 

“Hey,” she says quietly to Perry and Beckie. She shifts on the couch, groaning as she sits up from her slouched position. 

“Morning Tobin,” Beckie greets as she places her med bag down on the coffee table. She gets a kitchen chair and places it next to Tobin’s leg and sits down to begin. 

They make small talk as Beckie changes the dressing and looks over her injuries. Tobin’s on the quiet side, just mumbling “Percocet zombie,” when asked how she was feeling. Beckie seems to understand and continues what she was doing. 

Tobin drifts back off before Beckie left, hearing her speaking with her Mom as her lids lowered. 

When Tobin wakes next, she's feeling pain. In her jaw and leg. It’s a dull ache but she suspects it’s what awoke her. She sits up slowly, still feeling the pull from her ribs and gingerly takes the blanket off herself. She looks up and sees Perry sitting next to her on the couch, reading something. 

“Hey,” she says looking up. 

“Hey,” Tobin replies, wincing as she shifts her position. 

“Need your meds?” Perry asks as she points to the end table next to Tobin. Her water and med cup are there. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says as she reaches for the med cup and swallowing its contents. She follows it with the water. Her throat is so dry from sleeping with her mouth partially open. She realizes she’s hungry so she slowly lifts herself from the couch and crutches to the kitchen. The sees her food pouches lined up on the counter top next to her coffee maker. 

“I can make that for you if you want,” Perry offers, realizing what Tobin is doing. 

“I’m good, thanks,” Tobin replies as she runs the water from her faucet. Perry observes as Tobin fills the pouch and stirs it, then pouring half into a cup and pushing the cup and pouch down the counter and then crutching forward to it and then transferring the items to the kitchen table before crutching to it and sitting down. 

“Got to get used to doing this on my own,” Tobin shrugs as she takes a sip. 

Perry leaves her spot on the couch and sits down next Tobin at the table. “You won’t be alone for a while.” She reassures. 

“Who’s going to be here?” Tobin asks, wincing from the wire catching on her inner cheek. It’s the first time she’s considered who would stay with her after they leave Saturday. She’s been so out of it she hasn’t thought it before then. 

Perry grins. “An All-Star cast of World Cup Winners!” 

Tobin grins back. “Who?” 

“That would ruin the surprise.” Perry says, arching an eyebrow at her. 

Tobin looks at her. “Come on,” she says. 

“Well, Allie is going to come by tonight for dinner and review your care list so she knows what’s going on. Tomorrow is just us and then Saturday a special guest is coming for the weekend.” Perry states. 

“Who?” Tobin asks, growing frustrated. 

“Someone who wants to be a surprise, okay?” Perry answers. 

Tobin lets out a huff and sips her soup. She gets an idea and swivels in her seat looking for her board. 

“What do you want?” Perry asks. 

Tobin mimics writing on her board. Perry gets up and gets it off the coffee table. 

‘WOULD IT BE COOL IF YOU AND MOM WENT OUT TO DINNER FRIDAY? AND MAYBE A MOVIE?’ 

“Why on Earth would we leave you?” Perry asks, confused. 

‘ALEX IS COMING OVER.’ Tobin blushes. 

“Oh, I see,” Perry smiles like the cat who ate the canary and crosses her arms. “You have a date or something? I take it she’s not coming over for law enforcement purposes.” She really wants to tease the hell out of her sister. 

‘PLEASE? I’LL PAY.’ Tobin tries her puppy dog eyes on her. 

“I don’t know, I have to finish packing….” Perry shakes her head. 

‘NEW TENNIS RACQUET?’ Tobin pulls the bribe card. 

Perry lets out a belly laugh. “Okay Tobs,” she laughs, “don’t worry about it. What time should we leave?” 

‘IDK? LIKE 6?’ Tobin shrugs. 

“Alright, we’ll make ourselves scarce for a few hours. I’ll tell Mom you’re sending us on a thank you dinner or something, okay?” Perry smiles. She looks at Tobin who is still blushing furiously. “You really like her, huh?”

“So much,” Tobin sighs. “Nervous.” She confides. 

Perry lays her hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. She obviously likes you as well. She’s seen you at your worst and she still wants to hang out. I think she’s a keeper.” She squeezes her shoulder. “You’ll be fine.” 

Tobin lets out a breath. “Thanks,” she says quietly. 

Perry heads off to see what their Mom is doing in the guest bedroom leaving Tobin at the table. 

Tobin feels pretty awake, her meds haven’t hit yet but she doesn’t know what she wants to do. She’s bored and doesn’t have the patience to read or watch a movie or play a video game. She looks around the room, thinking about what she should do. 

She spies her beat up sketchbook on the shelf under her TV and that’s when the idea hits her. She crutches over and carefully does a one legged squat to move around the books on the shelf to find her brand new, unused sketchbook her had received from Perry as a birthday gift. She grabs it, stands up, get a crutch under herself to pivot and tosses it on the couch. It lands with a soft thud on the new electric blanket. 

Where are my pencils, she wonders as she stands there. She squats again to open the drawer under at the bottom of the TV stand and roots around in there. Boom. There’s her new pack of pencils. She tosses them to the couch and crutches over to the kitchen. 

She heads to the last drawer where she keeps her note pads and pens and digs through there looking for her thin point black ink LePen. She loves the way this pen grips the paper and doesn’t bleed out. She puts the pen behind her ear and fishes out her ruler. 

She puts the ruler between her lips and crutches back to the couch. She puts the ruler next to her pencils and grabs the new sketchbook and opens the first page. She stares at it as she visualizes how she wants this project to look. She’s nodding to herself as the plan comes together. 

She begins. 

Tobin is so engrossed in her work she doesn’t notice when Perry comes up and puts the scattered pencils in a cup for her easy reach. So engrossed she doesn’t hear her Mother ask if she’s hungry, hours later. She’s getting drowsy but doesn’t want to stop. She needs to do this. She decides to just put her head back and relax for a minute and shut her eyes.  


She’s out cold and doesn’t feel Perry slipping her oxygen line under her nose and removing her sketchbook and pencil cup. She doesn’t feel Perry gently placing her blanket on her. 

“What’s she doing?” her Mother asks Perry. 

“I think she’s writing and drawing out what happened to her.” Perry answers quietly. Both of them have read Tobin’s statement of events from her phone. They know about what Mara and Liz said to her but other than Tobin’s statement of not having any idea they felt that way, they really don’t know how Tobin feels about everything that happened. They've refrained from asking, wanting to focus on her healing and being positive. 

“I’ve been so worried. She hasn’t said one word about what happened to her.” Her Mother says, concern in her voice. 

“Maybe this is the way for her to do that.” Perry says looking at her Mom. “I mean it still hurts for her to talk and she’s not the best at vocalizing her feelings.” 

Her Mom nods. “She’s just like her father in that respect.” She says grimly. 

“Has he called at all?” Perry asks. “I haven’t talked to him.” 

“He talked to Katie for updates. She told me he said he would call her this week.” 

Perry snorts. “It’s Thursday already, what’s he waiting for?” 

Her Mom gives her a look that silences her. 

 

 

The aroma of something cooking brings Tobin out of her slumber. Eyes closed, she’s trying to figure out what it is. She hears voices talking behind her in the kitchen, a third voice she’s trying to recognize. She feels something warm next to her, burrowed into her side on the couch. Slowly moving her hand out from under the blanket she realizes is covering her, she feels for it. It’s fur. What the hell, she thinks. 

A laugh from the kitchen that she recognizes brings it all together. Allie is here and she brought at least one of her puppies. She slowly opens her eyes and recognizes Shay curled up next to her. She sighs and groans as she shifts and pets Shay’s soft fur. Shay reacts with a thumping tail, slapping on the leather couch and lifts her head to look at Tobin. Tobin smiles. 

“Harry, you up?” Allie asks from the kitchen. She comes around to the couch and sits down. 

“Yeah,” Tobin croaks out, her throat so dry again. She looks around, confused, the last thing she remembers is just shutting her eyes from drawing. She sees her closed sketchbook on the end table next to her and the cup of pencils. She reaches for her water cup and takes a long drink. 

“How ya feeling, Har?” Allie asks quietly, her eyes scanning over her. 

“Okay,” Tobin replies, taking her glasses off and rubbing her eyes. She puts them back on and wipes at her mouth, feeling the wetness hit the back of her hand. She wipes it on her blanket. She looks at Allie. 

“How’s it going?” she asks, inflating her cheeks to get them away from the wires. They hurt. She continues to stroke Shay’s soft fur. 

“Good, you’re looking pretty good,” Allie smiles. “Mouth hurt?” 

Tobin nods. “The wires are catching,” she mumbles. 

“The what?” Allie asks, she didn’t understand what Tobin said. 

“The wires are catching.” Tobin repeats, carefully annunciating her words. 

“Oh,” Allie nods her head. She looks over to the island and suddenly gets up from the couch. She returns and hands Tobin the dental wax. 

Tobin begins to apply the wax and get some relief in her mouth. 

Over the years they’ve seen each other at their best and worst, whether it was being sick on the road, cooped up in a hotel room together, or going through personal issues and being able to lean on each other for support. They’re friendship is strong, balanced, and there’s no filter between them. 

Through the Bible study that Tobin leads during the season, a smattering of Thorns players have come to know Jesus, resulting in a deeply moving event two years ago on the shores of Boughton Beach along the Columbia River. Allie was among a one of the players ready and Tobin baptized her in the river with a few others. Their friendship was strong before, but being bonded through Christ made it unbreakable. 

“You ready to eat something?” Allies asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says as she moves the blanket of herself. Shay looks up, giving her a disappointed look for moving. “Sorry,” Tobin says as she pets her. 

They move to the kitchen table. 

Allie keeps the dinner talk light and fun, telling Perry and Cindy some of the silly shenanigans of the Thorns team. 

“So, Tobin offered to teach a little French to everyone before they met Amandine,” she says, smirking at her. 

“Aw, that was nice of you,” Cindy comments. She had made a pork roast with all the trimmings. Tobin silently pouted, sipping her thinned out protein shake. 

“Yeah,” Allie laughs. “It was great. Most of the team was asking her if she’s seen their cow.” 

“Oh man.” Perry laughs. 

“The best part was Tobin teaching them to say ‘Hi my name is whatever’” she gestures “and I have a third nipple.’” 

They all laugh. “That’s pretty good!” Perry shakes her head. 

 

After dinner, Allie and Tobin are sitting on the couch relaxing. Shay is curled up on Tobin’s lap and Cass is next to her. Perry is doing the dishes and Cindy is in the spare room on the phone. 

“So, Har, how are things up here?” Allie asks quietly, pointing to Tobin's head. 

Tobin shrugs and writes on her board. 

‘I THINK I’VE JUST STARTED TO REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.’ 

“Yeah?” Allie asks, turning her body to face Tobin. 

‘YEAH. I'VE BEEN SO FOGGY FROM THE DRUGS, IT HASN'T HIT ME. I’M WORKING ON IT. WANT TO SEE?’ 

Allie nods and Tobin hands her the sketchbook. She places her hand on the cover and gestures to Allie to wait before opening it. 

‘I KNOW EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AND WHAT I DID AND HOW I FELT. I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD WAY FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND. I ONLY STARTED THIS AFTERNOON.’ 

Allie nods and slowly opens to the sketchbook. A drawing of Tobin playing with a soccer ball and a crowd around her is at the top of the page. Below in Tobin’s familiar block printing, is a description of how she was hosting a soccer camp and visiting family. 

As Allie reads the narrative, she hears Tobin’s voice in her mind. Her writing is like her speech pattern and easy to follow. She reads through the pages, familiar with this part of the story, how Tobin met up with Mara and Liz while out with Perry, how she reconnected with them and gets invited to the camping trip, how she wants to clear her head and get away for a bit and is looking forward to being in the woods. 

It’s almost like a graphic novel with the illustrations conveying moods and actions. Allie is impressed with Tobin’s illustrations, she’s seen her paintings often but hardly ever has she seen Tobin’s drawings. 

The last page shows the back of Tobin’s head looking up at a map of Mt. Hood State Park. 

Allie looks at Tobin when she finishes reading the last entry of Tobin reviewing the map and being excited to be camping. Tobin is looking down, petting Shay in her lap with her right knee slightly bouncing. Allie has known Tobin long enough to know that’s Tobin’s tell that she is anxious. 

“This is impressive, Har.” Allie says quietly. “Is it making you feel better doing this?” 

Tobin nods, head still down. 

“Hey,” Allie says, lightly grabbing Tobin’s hand. “What is it?” 

Tobin shifts a little and picks up her board and writes. 

‘JUST NERVOUS ABOUT THE NEXT PART. DON’T KNOW WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT YET.’ 

Allie is silent and rubbing the back of Tobin’s hand with her thumb. She notices the bruise from the IV and stops, thinking it might be hurting her a little. “Just let it out. It’ll come with time and when you’re ready.” 

Tobin nods. 

“Would it help if I email our study group and ask them to pray for you to be able to find the words for your feelings?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, giving her a small smile. “That would be nice.” 

“Okay. Good. That’s what I’ll do.” Allie smiles. 

They sit together in comfortable silence. 

The Allie starts squirming. Tobin looks at her, arching her eyebrow a little. 

“So, I hear you got a hot date tomorrow night.” Allie says with her eyebrows waggling at Tobin. 

Tobin shakes her head, blushing furiously. 

‘SHE’S JUST COMING OVER FOR A SMOOTHIE AND TO HANG OUT.’ 

“Uh, huh.” Allie giggles. "Do you want me to come over and help you pick out an outfit?"

Tobin shakes her head. ‘IT’S NOT LIKE I CAN PUT THE MOVES ON HER OR ANYTHING. WE’RE JUST GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER.’ 

“Well, that’s good.” Allie says seriously. “I like her. She’s a good person. You have my permission to hang with her and whatever else comes after that.” 

Tobin snorts. 

WHAT, DID YOU DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON HER OR SOMETHING?’ 

Allie looks away, turning her head to look out Tobin’s balcony doors. 

“Harry!” Tobin says, grabbing Allie’s arm. Both dogs look up from Tobin's exclamation.

“Maybe,” Allie says slowly turning back to look at Tobin. 

“What?” Tobin’s eyes are wide. “What did you do?” 

“Well, yes, I may have gone online and used one of those background check sources to have a looksee.” Allie admits. 

“Harry!” Tobin exclaims. 

“I just wanted to be sure she was a good person, Tobs, you don’t need another weirdo in your life right now.” Allie pauses. “Not after what happened to you.” She adds softly. 

Tobin lets out a huff. I can’t believe Allie did that, she thinks. What was she thinking, she wonders. She thinks for a moment. She was thinking about me and looking out for my best interests. She just wants me to be safe. 

Tobin sighs. Allie is still looking down, petting Shay on the couch. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says softly. It was actually really sweet of her to do that, Tobin thinks. 

She writes on her board. 

‘KINDA WISH YOU WOULDA DONE THAT FOR MARA AND LIZ.’ 

She flashes the board at Allie and smiles ruefully. 

“Believe me,” Allie says as tears begin to form, “I wish I had too.” 

“Hey,” Tobin says, “it’s okay. We didn’t know.” 

“Yeah,” Allie says wiping her eyes, “I know. But I just feel so awful this happened to you.” 

Tobin nods. “I think I’m gonna be okay,” she says softly. 

“Well,” Allie says as she clears her throat, “you’ve got me and a whole bunch others to make sure that happens.” She smiles. 

Tobin smiles back as she nods.


	10. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex comes over for her first date with Tobin.

Perry is gently finishing blow drying Tobin’s hair. “Should I curl it?” she smirks. 

“Per,” Tobin says as she nervously smooths her sweater out. 

“I’m kidding.” She says as she squeezes Tobin’s shoulder, putting the blow dryer away. “You look terrific.” 

Tobin’s looking in the mirror. “I look like the Bride of Frankenstein,” she frowns. No amount of makeup would cover her bruises. 

“Hey,” Perry says, leaning back against the bathroom counter. “She’s seen you at your worst. Don’t worry about it. Put your black beanie on, it goes with your sweater.” She smiles. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says as she gathers her crutches beneath her arms. 

Her Mom comes out of Tobin’s bedroom affixing a bracelet on her wrist. She gives Tobin a once over. “You look nice, sweetie,” she smiles. 

“Thanks, Mom,” Tobin replies. 

The two women are gather their purses. “We’re heading out,” Perry calls. “You’re good getting the door?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies. “I’ll stay here so it’s easier.” She says motioning to the kitchen table. “You guys have fun.” 

“Thanks again for dinner, dear.” Her Mom says as they leave. 

Tobin sits down and opens her sketchbook. She’s got at least a half an hour before she suspects Alex will be there. She’s been working on her project since they got back from seeing Dr. Bre this morning. Her leg is looking good, they think maybe next week they’ll cast it. Dr. Bre thinks all of Tobin’s injuries are healing well and stressed she is still under the no activities mode. 

Tobin accepts the order easily because she knows she has her project to keep herself busy. Perry and her Mother seemed surprised at Tobin’s reaction but kept it to themselves. 

Tobin’s working on the page where she wakes up and discovers that Liz and Mara have taken her stuff. She’s getting a little emotional writing about how betrayed and bewildered she felt from Mara and Liz acting as they did. She’s thinking about how to word what she feels when there’s a knock at her dock. 

“Coming,” Tobin calls out as loud as she can, quickly getting her crutches under and moving to the door. 

She opens the door. 

“Hi,” Alex greets with a smile. 

“Hi,” Tobin says a little breathlessly from exerting herself crutching quickly to the door. Tobin stares at Alex, she’s wearing a light blue sweater that brings out her eyes and a pair of dark jeans. You’re staring, saying something stupid, Tobin thinks. 

“Uh, come in,” she mumbles, backing away from the door. 

“Thanks,” Alex smiles as she enters. She turns and give Tobin a soft hug. 

“You can put your purse there,” Tobin offers, motioning to a side table near the door. 

Alex nods and set her purse down. She lifts a bag she’s carrying. “I got you a little something.” She says quietly. 

“Oh?” Tobin asks. 

“It’s not much, I mean, it isn’t like a gift type thing, I just saw it at the store and thought of you.” Alex says hurriedly. Geez, Alex, dork much, she thinks. 

“Come on,” Tobin says leading her down the hall to the kitchen.

“Here.” Alex says as she pulls a small box from the bag. 

Tobin looks at it. “What are these?” she asks. 

“Um, they’re comfort strips for your wires. You use them for braces but I thought they might work for you.” Alex says softly. “You said how much your mouth was bugging you and   
the wax didn’t seem like it was helping.” 

“Thank you,” Tobin says, pulling her in for a hug. “That was so thoughtful of you.” She opens the box to pull a couple out and look at them. 

“These look cool,” Tobin murmurs. She looks up at Alex. “Do you mind if I?” 

“Go ahead,” Alex says. She grabs one and opens it. 

Alex helps Tobin put them in and then they just look at each other. 

“You look nice,” Tobin says nervously. “Um, your sweater really brings out your eyes,” she says. 

“Thanks,” Alex replies, shyly. “I like your sweater, too,” she says, fingering Tobin’s sleeve, “looks good with the beanie.” She smiles. 

“Thanks,” Tobin blushes. “Uh, you like something to drink?” 

“Want to make the smoothies together?” Alex asks, sensing Tobin’s nervousness. 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles, “sure.” 

They move to the kitchen and Tobin points to the pouches. “Help yourself,” she says as she opens a cabinet and gets out two glasses. 

“I’ve got ice if you really want to make a good one,” she offers, pointing to her Magic Bullet. 

Alex seems to consider this for a moment. “I think I want to have one like yours.” 

Tobin wrinkles her nose at this. “It leaves a bit to be desired.” 

“Well, let me be judge, I want to walk in your shoes a bit, okay?” Alex says as she takes a step closer to Tobin. 

Tobin nods and turns the faucet on. “I, uh, I take mine at almost room temperature.” She explains. “My mouth is still sensitive to hot and cold. But you could have cold, if you want.” 

“Nah, I’ll take like yours.” Alex says firmly. 

Tobin nods as she fills the pouch with water and hands it to her. The she fills her own. She hands Alex a long spoon to stir it up and puts a glass in front of her. 

They complete making their drinks and Alex grabs Tobin’s as she leads them to the kitchen table. 

“How was work?” Tobin asks. 

“It was pretty slow, not too many people coming in today. They weekend calls for rain, so I didn’t think we’d be busy.” Alex says. “How about you, how was your day?” 

“Doctors, nap, uh,” Tobin says, she points to her sketchbook, “working on a little project.” 

“Oh yeah?” Alex says, eying the book, “what’s the topic?” She takes a drink from her smoothie. 

Tobin fingers the edge of the sketchbook, she wipes her at the side of her mouth with her other hand, “It’s uh, it’s about what happened.” 

“Oh,” Alex says quietly. 

“I thought it would be easier to write it out,” Tobin explains, “I know so many people want to ask what really went down.” She looks at Alex. Alex nods. 

“How are you feeling while you’re doing this?” Alex asks. “I mean, if that’s not too personal.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Tobin says as she leans her elbows on the table. “It was fine at the beginning,” she says as she looks at her drink. “It’s getter a little tougher now.”

“Do you think you need to talk to someone about it? Like, maybe a professional?” Alex asks quietly. 

“Ah, I don’t know,” Tobin sighs. “Maybe? I’m not sure how I feel yet.” Alex nods. 

“I mean, we have a psychologist on the team, so if I felt….” Tobin trails off. 

“Well,” Alex says as she lays a hand on Tobin’s forearm, “I’m willing to listen if you need a set of ears and a shoulder.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin replies as she looks at Alex. They sit there for a minute, smiling softly at each other. 

“So, uh, how did the smoothie rate?” Tobin asks, needing to break the silence. 

Alex shrugs and smiles. “Well, it tastes pretty decent, but I wouldn’t want to be breaking my jaw anytime soon.” She says. “Does it fill you up? It seems like it wouldn’t.” 

“It does for a bit, but I haven’t been really too hungry. The meds make me so loopy and sleepy, I feel like everything’s been kind of hazy. I hate it.” Tobin admits. “I’m trying not to take them as often.” 

Tobin looks at Alex, “Are you still hungry? ‘Cause there’s stuff in the fridge, you can help yourself.” She says quickly. 

“I’m good, thanks.” Alex reassures, feeling warmth in her chest at Tobin’s concern. “Maybe a snack later, okay?” 

“Okay,” Tobin smiles nervously. She moves her leg and winces a little. She can feel that throb coming back. 

“Why don’t we get comfy on the couch?” Alex offers, sensing Tobin’s discomfort. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, getting her crutches, “I think I need to elevate my leg a little. Do you want a water or something?” 

“I’ll get it, if that’s cool,” Alex replies, “You go sit.” 

 

It’s an hour later and the conversation hasn’t stopped between Alex and Tobin. They talked about everything, growing up, soccer, college and they were just getting into talking about books when Alex noticed Tobin’s replies growing shorter and she was nodding more.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Alex apologizes, “are you alright? You seem like you’re in pain.” 

“Uh, yeah, a little.” Tobin admits. She’s actually getting pretty uncomfortable. “I just don’t want to zone out.” 

“I understand, but you shouldn’t do that,” Alex says, “your body is fighting harder against the pain and that’s not healthy.” Tobin nods. 

“I know,” Tobin says quietly, her shoulders slumping. 

“Hey,” Alex says, reaching out and grabbing Tobin’s hand, “maybe just don’t let it go so far in between doses, okay?” 

“Okay,” Tobin says giving Alex a small smile. 

“Good.” Alex smiles. “Now, you got some popcorn?” 

“In the pantry.” Tobin answers. 

“Why don’t you pull up a Harry Potter movie, you can smell the popcorn I’m going to eat, and I’m going to get your meds and you’re going to take it.” Alex suggests. 

“Okay, sounds good.” Tobin says. “It’s on the counter.” 

Half an hour later, they’re on the couch, Alex snuggled closely next to Tobin, under a blanket. Alex has the bowl of popcorn on her lap and a water bottle next to her. They both have their legs up on the coffee table, Tobin snuggled into the corner of the couch. As the movie progresses, Alex can feel Tobin’s body relaxing as the pain meds begin to make her drowsy. 

She feels Tobin’s arm fall of her lap and onto her own and she looks over to see Tobin’s asleep. Her mouth slightly open, head tilted towards her. Alex moves her hand under the blankets and takes Tobin’s hand in her own, squeezing it softly. Tobin sighs softly and squeezes in response, not opening her eyes.

Alex rubs light circles on Tobin’s hand as she continues to watch the film. 

 

The film is over and it’s not quite nine o’clock yet. 

“Tobin,” Alex says quietly, squeezing her hand. “Wake up,” 

Tobin moans as eyes flutter open, the noise making Alex think all kinds of inappropriate thoughts. God, she is so sexy, she thinks, as she watches her wake up. 

“Movie over?” Tobin asks, her voice tinged with disappointment. 

“Yeah,” Alex confirms. “Let me help you get ready for bed, okay?” 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, that was pretty lame of me.” Tobin feels bad. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Alex dismisses. “I’m completely fine with our dates being a little unconventional and you dozing off. You’re healing, Tobin.”

Tobin takes off her beanie and runs her hand through her hair. “Thanks for being so understanding.” 

Tobin turns to face Alex. “Wait, did you say dates? Like, you mean you want to see me again?” 

Alex nods her head a few times. “Well, yeah,” she says, “I mean, if you’d like to still see me.” 

“Uh, yeah, I do,” Tobin smiles, “I, really, really, do.” 

“Well, good.” Alex smiles back, showing teeth. “So, what do you say I help you get set for bed and we can hang out until your Mom and Perry come home? And if you fall asleep, I’ll just creep through your stuff?” she grins. 

Tobin smiles, “Sounds good, creep.” She flings the blanket of and gathers her crutches. She’s a little wobbly when she stands and needs a minute to gain her balance. When she finishes getting changed and brushing her teeth she crutches out of her room to find Alex in the kitchen looking over her medications. 

She pours out the dosage of Tobin’s anti-inflammatory. Tobin swallows it with a wince at the taste and drinks some water. 

“You know, your prescription for Percocet is really strong, you could always ask your doctor for a lesser dosage to step down without putting yourself in pain.” Alex suggests. 

“I didn’t think of that.” Tobin admits. “There’s so much I haven’t thought about. I’ve been in such a daze. I got to check in with my agent, I haven’t talked to my coach, neither of them- Thorns or National Team, I, there’s people I need to call back…” Tobin trails off, thinking of all things she needs to do. 

“Why don’t you wait a little bit until your mouth isn’t so sore and you feel better speaking.” Alex suggests. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Tobin agrees. 

“Or make a list and just do a couple of them each day.” Alex offers. “Maybe it won’t seem so overwhelming then.” 

Tobin nods and then suddenly brings both of her hands to each side of her jaw, eyes screwed shut, wincing in pain. 

“Tobin!” Alex exclaims. 

Tobin raises a finger, as she slowly brings her hands down. She’s breathing heavy, eyes still shut. 

Alex is next to her, hand on her back. 

“I think I yawned.” Tobin says, her voice edged in pain. 

“Well, then, let’s get you settled in.” Alex instructs. 

“This is not how I thought our evening would be,” Tobin says, a little frustrated and embarrassed.

“Oh?” Alex smiles as she rubs Tobin’s back. “Were you planning on wining and dining me and making out on your couch?” 

“Well, I wasn’t planning on being pathetic and falling asleep on you.” Tobin replies. 

“Come on, let’s go.” Alex gives her a slight push. 

Tobin gets settled and Alex kneels on the couch next to her, holding her oxygen line preparing to put it on. “Well, since you’re probably going to fall asleep, why don’t I give you a goodnight kiss now?” she says, her eyes sparkling at Tobin. 

Tobin’s eyes widen as she looks at Alex. She still can’t believe this beautiful woman is here and willing to be with her. She leans forward slightly to meet Alex. Their lips meet, soft against cracked skin. Alex kisses her fully, running her tongue against Tobin’s lips, one hand softly on her jaw. 

Both feel the sparks, the want, the desire to do more but are limited from Tobin’s jaw being wired shut. They pull back, looking into each other’s eyes. Both begin to smile. 

“That was pretty terrific,” Tobin says, her eyes half open. 

“Yeah, it was,” Alex says. “So much so that I’d like to do it again,” she moves in for another kiss. 

They kiss again, Tobin bringing her hand to Alex’s shoulder, rubbing it lightly. Alex feels on fire from her touch as she tries to deepen the kiss. They break apart, looking at each other, slightly out of breath. They smile as Alex affixes her oxygen line and turns the compressor on and then changes her position to snuggle into Tobin’s right side. 

“Listen, Tobin,” Alex says, she’s feeling a vibe of uncertainty or as if Tobin just doesn’t think she would be in to her. “I’d like to pursue whatever it is that’s happening between us, if you’d be good with that.” 

Tobin can’t believe her ears. His beautiful woman on her couch next to her wants to pursue a possible relationship or something with her. Wow, she thinks, oh, wait, she’s waiting for you to say something. Say something, answer her, stupid, she panics. 

“Uh, yeah, of course, uh” Tobin struggles with her words. She takes as deep of a breath as she can. “I’d like that. A lot.” 

Alex laughs lightly at Tobin’s flustered response. Does this goddess get nervous by me, she wonders. “Okay, then. So if we are going to do this, there’s a few things we need to get straight, okay?” 

Tobin stiffens up at this. “Uh, alright.” She replies. What type of conditions is she going to demand, she wonders. 

“No feeling awkward from you because you’re injured and can’t do what you want right now. If our dates are going to be hanging out here and doing whatever, I’m fine with it and you should be too.”

“Okay,” Tobin replies, still wondering what type of weird bombshell Alex might drop. 

“Second, if you don’t mind me eating real food in front of you, I’d like to come over for dinner. Dinner that I make so you don’t overdo it. Don’t feel you need to be the perfect hostess. You can wine and dine me later when you’re up and around.” Alex states looking at her.

“I’d like that.” Tobin agrees. 

“I’m totally cool being quiet about this. I’d probably tell some of my close friends and family but I want to assure you I’m not looking to plaster us all over IG or anything. It’s true I’m a fan but I’m not a groupie.” Alex declares. 

Tobin nods. 

“Lastly, can we agree to talk to each if either of us is freaking out about this? I mean, I haven’t been in a relationship for a while, so I’m not used to this. Like being with someone, okay? I’m a little nervous.” 

“Okay,” Tobin accepts. 

“Okay?” Alex says looking at her again. 

“Yeah, I mean, those are valid points and I appreciate you being thoughtful of my feelings about not being able to do much and not being blatantly out. I like spending time with you and I want to know more about you.” Tobin replies. She doesn’t easily talk about her feelings, so this is quite the admission for her. 

They sit in silence, bot thinking about this new level of intimacy. 

“Lex,” Tobin says softly, her voice low and a little scratchy, “I have much more to say but I’m getting really tired. But just,” she stops for a second, “I’m pretty new at this too, so please be patient with me?” 

“Sure,” Alex smiles, secretly loving that Tobin called her Lex, “I can be patient. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, now go to sleep.” 

Alex snuggles closer into Tobin’s side, twisting sideways so she can wrap her arm around Tobin’s midsection placing her head on Tobin’s shoulder and one of her legs on top of Tobin’s under the blanket. They both close their eyes and relax. 

Perry and Cindy find them in this position when they get back from their evening out.


	11. You Were So Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Tobin reflect on their date. We het major Perry and Tobin bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, faithful readers, I am blown away from your positive support. Y'all encourage me to find time I didn't think I had to work on this story. It might be a little emotional. 
> 
> Any guesses on who our World Cup winning first guest is?

“I’m so embarrassed, Mrs. Heath, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Alex says quickly. She’s at the door after Perry gently woke her up. 

“It’s fine,” Cindy reassures her. “And call me Cindy, please.” She gives her a hug. “You’ve been such a Godsend to us during this. Thank you so much for all that you’ve done.” 

“It’s been my pleasure, you guys are such an awesome family,” Alex replies. After informing Cindy of the medications Tobin took before falling asleep, Alex makes her departure. 

 

Shaking her head from the exchange she had with an amused Perry, she thinks both of the women are completely aware of the attraction between her and Tobin. On her twenty-five minute drive home, she thinks about her evening. Tobin was nervous she could tell and very sweet about making Alex feel comfortable. 

She shakes her head at the thought of Tobin skipping her pain meds in order to be alert for their evening. She hopes Tobin considers her suggestion of stepping down the dosage of her Percocet. She wonders how Tobin will react as she really begins to comprehend the scope of what happened to her. Just from the entry from Tobin’s phone that she read and being with her in the shelter, Alex wonders if Tobin will begin to shut down and analyze her interactions with people she meets and if that will include her. 

It makes her nervous to think that if she becomes emotionally invested Tobin, well more than she is already, only to have her shut her out from fear of being hurt again. She’s pretty sure Tobin trusts her, but to what extent she doesn’t know. She doesn't want to be insecure about this, but she's had her share of heartbreaks and is a little wary. 

 

It’s hard to judge because Tobin’s been pretty out of it on her medications, which she admitted tonight. Alex just hopes and prays Tobin will not have a change of heart as she begins to process all that has happened to her. That scares her. 

 

When Perry woke Alex up, Tobin woke as well. She was pretty out of it and sleepily slurred for Alex to text her she got home safely and then puckered her lips for a goodnight kiss. Which Alex gave her, right in front of Cindy and Perry. Tobin was out before Alex left the couch. 

 

Alex thinks of their first real kiss. For having her mouth wired shut, Tobin is a pretty good kisser, Alex evaluates. I can only hope to be able to kiss her when she gets the mouth hardware off, Alex thinks. And when she touched my shoulder, it was like I was on fire. Good Lord, it’s only been a week and here you are, mooning over this girl, she sighs. I just like her so much. Take it slow and at her pace, she warns herself. Don’t smother her. 

 

Alex sits in her car in her driveway. Just be there for her when you can and keep talking to her. Ask her how she feels. Keep the lines of communications open so you won’t get blindsided if she shuts you out. She sends Tobin a text that’s she’s home safe and will chat tomorrow.   
She nods as she gets out of her car, that’s the plan. 

 

Tobin wakes up early again. Please don’t let me become a morning person because of this, she thinks wryly. There is no reasonable explanation for me to be awake at six forty-five on a Saturday morning that is not work related. 

She glances at her sketchbook and suddenly understands why is she alert and awake. I’ve got to do this, she thinks. She turns off the oxygen and gets the line off herself. She hoists herself up and crutches to the bathroom in the hallway, uses the toilet and comes back to the kitchen. She’s not hungry yet nor is in any discomfort so she just gets a water bottle and awkwardly gets it to the table and then tosses it on the couch. 

She makes her way back to the couch and settles in. She had considered working at the kitchen table but feels more comfortable with her leg up. She grabs her sketchbook and reads over what she’s completed and then turns the page to start. 

She hears Perry quietly greet her and hour and a half later and she mumbles back a good morning to her as she continues. She mumbles a thanks when Perry slips her morning smoothie on the end table next to her, Perry reminding her to drink it. 

When her Mom comes out and sees Tobin working on her book, she, too, quietly greets her and moves to the kitchen. Tobin’s not sure if either of them have looked through her sketchbook while she’s asleep but they both seem to recognize that Tobin doesn’t want to be disturbed. They quietly talk over their breakfast, not disturbing her as she puts her pencils and pen to paper. 

At about ten o’clock, Perry puts her meds on the table and gently nudges Tobin’s shoulder before heading off to the spare room. Her Mother had disappeared into her bedroom an hour ago. Tobin takes the meds because she’s feeling her jaw, she thinks she’s unconsciously trying to clench it as she struggles with her feelings. Her neck is stiff and her butt is numb from being in this the position for hours. 

Perry comes out of the room carrying a water bottle when Tobin looks up. “Will you wake me an hour before you have to leave?” she asks. 

 

“Yeah, sure.” Perry replies, giving her a small smile. Her eyes drift to the page open and she walks away, resisting the urge to stop and ask about it. 

Tobin’s growing increasingly drowsy as she works on her last page, carefully spelling out her feelings after completing the last drawing. She’s still not finished with it completely. She’s gotten up to being brought to the hospital. But what she has completed will let everyone she allows to see it get their answers of what she went through. Tears are streaming down her face as she looks it over one last time before shutting the book. She holds the book in arms bringing it to her chest as she slides back to put her head on the pillows. 

When Perry comes out later to just check on Tobin, that’s how she finds her, sleeping with the book to her chest, her face still streaked with tears. She gets her Mom and they both look down on the sleeping figure. Her Mom starts to cry quietly which triggers Perry as well and they hug. 

Perry gestures her Mom to follow her into the spare room. 

“I hate seeing her so upset,” her Mom sniffles. 

Perry nods. “Maybe she finished it, maybe she’ll share it with us.” 

“I hope so,” her Mom says as she wipes her eyes, “I’ve been reading about how some victims of being attacked can develop PTSD from not talking about their feelings and Tobin hasn’t said a word, not one” 

“Mom,” Perry cuts in, touching her Mother’s arm, “Tobin doesn’t process stuff like other people do, she’s wired differently, okay? She has a good support group around her and none of us will let her get off the rails. You know that. Let’s not plant seeds of doubt in her.” 

“You’re right, you’re right.” Her Mom agrees. “I just worry so much and she’ll be so far away.” 

“She’s gonna be fine,” Perry states. “I have faith. She’s smart. She’ll figure it out.” 

 

Tobin woke up with a start, flinching as her eyes opened. She had been dreaming of being pushed off the path and falling in the open air. 

“You okay?” Perry asks from the kitchen table. 

“Yeah,” Tobin croaks, her throat dry. She reaches for her bottle of water and takes a long drink. 

“Hungry?” 

“Nah,” Tobin replies as she gets her crutches and lifts herself from the couch. She takes a moment to get her feet under her. “Where’s Mom?” 

“Your room.” Perry replies not looking up from her phone. 

“Uh, can you give me a hand?” Tobin asks. 

“Sure, what do you need?” Perry asks looking up. 

“Uh, can you take these to my room?” Tobin asks, motioning to her journal and the sketchbook. 

“Sure,” Perry says easily. She wonders if Tobin just wants to put them away or if she’s going to possibly share them. Perry follows Tobin as she crutches into her room. 

“Hey Ma,” Tobin says, “got a minute?” she asks. 

“Sure honey,” her Mother answers looking up from her laptop. She flips the screen down. She’s sitting against the headboard with a couple pillows behind her back. 

“Can you toss those on the bed?” Tobin asks. Perry nods and gently lets them fall near her Mom’s waist. “And shut the door on your way out?” 

Perry nods, realizing something important was going to happen. 

Tobin crutches next to her bed and moves the pillows to rest against the headboard and slides onto it, mimicking her Mom’s position. 

“So, uh, I’ve been kind of out of it this week. And I can’t thank you and Perry enough for all that you’ve done for me.” Tobin says, fingering the edge of the sketchbook. “I know you have a lot of questions about what happened and I just wasn’t ready to talk about it.” 

“We figured you’d tell us when you were,” her Mom says warmly. 

“Well, that’s what I’ve been working on.” Tobin pauses. “It’s not done, but it tells you about what happened in the woods.” She picks the sketchbook up and hands it to. 

“Are you sure sweetie?” her Mom asks. 

Tobin nods. “Yeah,” 

 

Perry sits impatiently at the kitchen table. She’s trying not to listen but she hears the stifled cry from her Mom, it takes everything she has not to barge into the bedroom. She flicks on the TV to drown out the soft noises coming from Tobin’s bedroom. 

Thirty minutes later, Perry sees her Mom exit Tobin’s room, her eyes red rimmed from crying. Perry gives her Mother a startled look, suddenly afraid of possibly learning what gruesome events her sister went through. She’s shocked when her Mom gives her an indecipherable look that has a hint of a smile behind it. “Your sister is something else.” She says laying a hand on Perry’s shoulder. “Go and talk to her, she wants to share something with you.”

Perry slowly lifts herself from her chair, practically dragging her feet to the bedroom. She’s really not sure what to expect and she’s not sure she wants to find out. She enters the room to find Tobin leaning up against her headboard, the sketchbook and her journal lying on her lap. Perry can see she’s been crying, but something looks different. She can’t pinpoint it exactly, it’s almost like Tobin isn’t as upset as Perry thinks she should be. It confuses her. She gently shuts the bedroom door and strides across the room and sits down next to Tobin.

“Hey,” Tobin says, eying her carefully. She shifts herself to sit with her good leg under her and leans forward. 

“Hey,” Perry replies quietly. 

Tobin looks down at her lap. “You know how I am.” She begins, “you and Katie got the gift of talk, especially about feelings. Me, not so much.” She looks up at Perry. “I know you’ve wanted to ask so many times but held back. Thank you.” 

Perry can only nod. She doesn’t want to interrupt Tobin, not when she’s finally finding words. 

“It was important to get as much of this done before you left. I had to. For me. For you and Mom. The meds made me so fuzzy, I was pretty much a zombie for a few days, you know that. I still get that way. But I want to share this with you because you need to know. You need to know because I’m still going to need your help so much.” A tear rolls down Tobin’s cheek. She shakes her head, trying to regroup and keep it together. 

“So anyway, I want you read a few things, okay?” she asks looking up at Perry as she hands her the sketchbook. Perry opens it to the first page. 

As Perry reads Tobin’s narrative, she feels the phantom pain in her leg and jaw. She feels the ache in her ribs. She can clearly picture Tobin struggling to understand what happened to herself and then make a plan. The stomach dropping realization that Mara and Liz took her tent and sleeping bag and jacket. Digging through her pack to find something to make a splint. Crawling in pain to get to the ledge. How painful it was to make her shelter. The bone chilling cold and feeling alone. 

“Tobin!” she exclaims softly as she reaches for her hand when she reads where Tobin explains how low and hopeless she felt and begins to write her goodbye letters. 

Perry slides next to Tobin and puts her arm around her as she reads about calling their Mother after learning Mara had posted the video. Perry couldn’t imagine Tobin having to promise their Mom it wouldn’t be the last time they spoke and she wasn’t lying about her injuries. Tobin writes she was fearful she maybe did have internal injuries or a brain bleed or something and she still might not make it even with Alex giving her the best care possible. 

When she finishes reading Tobin’s thoughts about waking up in the hospital room, she closes the book and wipes her eyes. 

Tobin sits silently next to her, eyes focused on her journal. She carefully opens it and pages through until she reaches the one she wants. She puts her finger on the page to hold it and closes the book, looking at Perry. 

“You know, people say I love you in all different scenarios and situations. We say it a lot to each other, but I want you to know, when I say I love you, this is why.” Tobin explains as opens the journal and hands it over to Perry. 

At first glance, Perry can see that Tobin’s writing is unusually sloppy, slanted with the sentences running on angles. It’s in her usual all capital letters with a couple of doodles along the side margin. Probably where she stopped to think about how she wanted to phrase something. She begins to read. 

 

‘Per, 

Remember when we were kids and on rainy weekends we would build a fort and camp in the basement? That’s what I’m thinking of right now. Being snuggled in between you and Katie, safe and warm, knowing Mom is just upstairs making us a homemade pizza. It might be the only time I ever liked staying in the house. 

I’m warm right now and I have food and water. Not gonna lie, the pain is pretty intense. It’s takes a lot to concentrate on writing this. But it helps pass the time until I’m found and it doesn’t make me think about the pain too much. 

I’ve always looked up to you. You always are so confident and you know how to say the right things to people all the time. I get tongue tied or think of a response way too late. You’re always calm and patient and you just get people. Like you knew something was up with Mara and Liz. You tried to tell me and I wouldn’t listen. I guess I don’t like thinking the worst of people, I don’t know why. Maybe I take things too literally and only see the surface of people and not their ulterior motives. I hope I have time to learn this, you’re a pro. 

You’ve been the best big sister to me. Always. Even when we’d fight over stupid stuff, I still loved you. And you were right most of the time. You always made time for me. That was such a gift. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you would come out to my games and watch me play. There’s just something so deep about knowing there’s someone in the stands who is cheering for me. So thanks for being there. Your time was a gift and I can’t thank you enough. 

Quick confession: remember when I taught you to play Mario Cart and you could never win? You got so mad that you could never beat me. Uh, I rigged your player to be slower. Sorry. 

That year I broke my ankle and got sick? I don’t think I’d be the person I am and doing what I am if it weren’t for you. You comforted me, encouraged me and when that didn’t work you yelled at me to get my ass up and get moving. You gave me Scriptures to read to motivate me, counsel me, and tell me I was worthy of being loved. 

I never said it before but I’m saying it now. I think you totally knew I was gay before I did. You never pushed me, but you asked questions that made me think. Then somehow, you knew I was struggling with being gay and a Christian but all you said was ‘Don’t you think Jesus knew gay people back then? There’s suspicions that Paul was gay. If Christ, the Son of God, didn’t seem to have a problem with it, why would you let the Church bully you? Being a Christian is about your relationship with Jesus. Not some stupid church.’ I’ll never forget that and I loved you so much for that. 

I don’t think I ever let you truly know how much that talk helped me. You are wise beyond your years and intuitive in ways I never will be. 

Per, I’m sorry this happened and I’m sorry you’re reading this. I can’t think straight right now and I know there’s so much more I want to tell you. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend as much time together as we both would have liked. I’m sorry for when I was shitty to you. You were the best sister ever. You were my best friend. 

I’m so sorry for making everyone upset about this. I didn’t think this would happen. Please don’t let Mom get too upset. I hate to think I upset her. 

 

I saw the most beautiful sunrise yesterday. Mt. Hood. It was such a gift to see it one last time. Get up sometime and look at one and think of me, okay? I love you. 

 

T 

P.S. Can I ask one last favor? Cremate me and throw my ashes in the ocean. And maybe think of our good times together when you’re at the beach.’ 

 

Perry is sobbing and leaning into Tobin’s side. Tobin has her right arm around her and she’s crying too. “Oh my God, Tobin,” Perry is crying. When the crying turns to sniffling, Perry looks at Tobin. She’s got her glasses off and is wiping her eyes. 

“I love you.” She says, her voice trembling. “Tobin, I can’t even imagine being in that situation where you think you’d have to write me this. I cherish this, but I cherish you more.” 

She hugs her, fresh tears coming from both of them. 

“You were so brave. And so smart. I wouldn’t have thought of half the things you did to help yourself.” Perry says into Tobin’s ear. “You’re still brave now, I know you don’t feel it, but you are. And you’re so strong. Mentally and physically. You’ll get through this. I know you will.” 

Tobin’s holding her side as she cries. “I was so scared.” She whispers. 

“I know, baby, I know.” Perry soothes as she holds her. “But you’re safe and everything will be fine. You’ll be fine. I know it.” 

Tobin nods as she gets herself under control. As she calms down, Perry decides to change the subject.

“So, how was your date?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows at Tobin. 

Tobin gives her a slight grin. “Well, I didn’t vomit in front of her again, so score one for me.” She laughs softly. “It was good. She’s really, like, laid back and easy to talk to.”

“She’s good for you Tobin, just keep talking to her.” Perry urges. 

Tobin is silent for a minute. “Allie did a background check on her.” 

“What?” Perry exclaims. “NO!” 

Tobin nods. “Uh huh.” 

“That is hilarious.” Perry laughs. 

“It is pretty funny. She was coming from a good place.” Tobin says. She shifts and winces. “Uh, we kissed.” 

“Yeah?” Perry arches an eyebrow. 

“Well, like it was tame,” Tobin says pointing to her jaw, “but it was so good,” she sighs. “I really like her. She gave me guidelines. Like, our dates are cool to hang out until I’m better, and she wants to come over for dinner and she wants to talk to make sure we take it slow.” 

Perry nods approvingly. “I knew I liked her before, but I like her even more now.” She smiles. 

“I like her so much.” Tobin agrees. 

Perry glances at her watch. “We have to get ready to go, so how about we get you set up on the couch? I think you can take you meds a little early.” She slides off the bed. 

“I don’t want to be asleep when whoever is coming gets here,” Tobin reasons. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Perry says with a wave of her hand. “She has a key and will only be about a half an hour after we leave.” 

Tobin hems and haws for a minute but the pain in her side and jaw win out. Plus, she’s pretty tired from the emotions of the past hour between her Mom and Perry. Tobin crutches out of her room and Perry goes to grab the journal and sketchbook for Tobin. 

 

Perry reaches awkwardly and fingers the journal and a page flips as she pulls it toward herself. She doesn’t mean to, but she looks because there’s only one line written. 

 

‘Dad- 

Sorry I wasn’t the person you wanted me to be.

Tobin’ 

 

She gasps and quickly closes the journal. She brings her hand to her mouth. Holy shit. She knew Tobin and their Dad had their issues, they all did after the divorce. But for Tobin to write that as the possible last thing she would ever say to him? Fuck. Perry didn’t know the hurt ran so deep in Tobin. She knew she would have to find a way to get them in a better place. She grabs the sketchbook and leaves the room.


	12. Tobin & Cheney & Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren Holiday comes to visit and hang with Tobin and Alex comes to dinner.

Tobin feels something on her legs as she slowly wakes. It feels like someone’s feet. She slowly opens her eyes, the room is dim, there’s still daylight, Tobin can tell, it’s just cloudy and there’s no lights on the apartment. She looks to her right and a smile spreads across her face. Lauren Holiday is napping on her couch. 

Her heart surges with affection. Tears come to her eyes as she watches Lauren sleep. She’s so happy to see her. Tobin knows that paralyzing fear when you feel you could lose someone you love. She felt it first when Lauren told her about the tumor. Second, the day she underwent surgery for it. Tobin imagines Lauren felt something similar when she heard about the video of her fall and Mara proclaiming her dead. She hopes Lauren is just as glad to her as she is. 

Lauren’s wearing an eye patch to help rectify her vision issues after the surgery. Tobin knows she has some facial paralysis as well, but as she studies her, she doesn’t see the significant droop to the side of her face she once had. 

Tobin lays her head back and closes her eyes. 

“I know you’re awake, creep.” Lauren says tiredly. 

Tobin smiles before opening her eyes. Lauren is laying there, looking at her with a smile on her face. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Lauren says softly. 

“It’s really good to see you,” Tobin replies, head still back on the pillow. She slowly moves her arms out from under her blanket and begins to softly rub Lauren’s sock clad feet. Lauren smiles. This is what they’d do. Sit, talk, foot massage after a hard day of practice and enjoy each other’s company. 

“You’re looking like you feel a little better.” Lauren observes. 

Tobin nods slightly. “For the most part, yeah,” she says. “These meds kick my ass, though.” 

Lauren laughs. “I know the feeling.” 

“How are you doing with everything?” Tobin asks, self-consciously swiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Small gains each day.” Lauren replies. “Baby steps.” 

“No more vertigo or other balance issues?” Tobin asks. 

Lauren shakes her head slightly. “Nope. I’m back driving now.” 

“That’s awesome.” Tobin smiles. 

“The best part is I can lift Jrue and give her snuggles.” Lauren smiles. 

“Is she here?” Tobin looks around the room. 

Lauren shakes her head. “Just me. My Mom is having a blast with her granddaughter. I’m here until Tuesday afternoon. I can take you to your doctor appointment Monday.” Tobin will be seeing the surgeon who took care of her jaw. 

“Did you eat lunch? Are you hungry?” Tobin asks. It’s almost one-thirty. 

“I could eat,” Lauren shrugs her shoulders. 

Tobin pats Lauren’s feet and she slides them off Tobin’s lap as they both get up from the couch. 

“I forgot how comfy your couch is,” Lauren smiles as she stretches.

“It took me long enough to find the perfect one.” Tobin comments as she crutches to the kitchen. She tosses a protein shake pouch onto the counter near the island and gets her cup out. 

“There’s some of my Mom’s lasagna,” Tobin offers. 

Lauren’s eyes go wide. “Really?” she asks. Tobin nods. “Awesome!” she opens Tobin’s fridge and roots around to find it. 

“Perry said she got you a food processor,” Lauren says as she dishes a piece of the lasagna out of the pan. “Did you want some of this?” 

Tobin shakes her head. “Please don’t tell her, but it’s really gross to eat it that way.” Tobin shivers at the memory. How she played it off as being delicious, she doesn’t know. 

They eat lunch back on the couch, TV on ESPN in the background, catching up on the little mundane daily things they miss about each other. 

Eventually conversation comes back to what happened. “Lauren, I just never had a clue they’d be like that,” Tobin confesses. “Perry knew something was up, Allie did too and she never even met them.” 

Lauren just nods. “I don’t know what to say, Tobs,” she sets her plate on the coffee table and takes a drink. “some people can pick up on the vibes of others and some can’t.” She shrugs. 

Tobin sighs. 

Her phone chirps and Tobin grabs it from the end table. It’s Alex. 

Alex Morgan: Hey, you got dinner plans? 

Tobin smiles. She looks up at Lauren. “Hey Chen?” she asks. “Would, um, would you mind if we had a guest for dinner?” 

Lauren cocks her head. “Sure, that’s fine.” She shrugs. 

“Uh, Alex was wondering what I was doing for dinner.” Tobin says shyly. “I’d really like you to meet her.” 

Lauren gives Tobin a warm smile. “I’d really like to meet her, Tobin.” She says. “I want to meet the woman who has you smiling so much.” 

Tobin smiles. “Yeah, okay,” she nods. 

Tobin Heath: My friend Lauren’s here and she’d love to meet you and hang out.

Alex is in her car parked outside the grocery store. Lauren, she thinks, like Lauren Holiday? Holy shit! 

Alex Morgan: It’s cool if you guys want to catch up. I don’t want to intrude. 

Tobin Heath: No, seriously, come over. Please? 

Alex smiles. 

Alex Morgan: Okay, but would you mind if I cook? 

Tobin Heath: No. I’ll be having my delicious, nutritious shake, my kitchen is your kitchen. Cheney will eat anything except snails. 

Alex Morgan: What time? 

Tobin Heath: Any. We’re just hanging. 

Alex Morgan: see you in an hour & a half? 

Tobin Heath: cool with me. Can’t wait!

Lauren is giving Tobin an amused look. “What’s the plan?” 

Tobin grins as well as she can. “She’s coming over in about an hour and a half and wants to cook dinner.” 

“Is she a good cook?” Lauren asks curiously. 

Tobin shrugs. “I have no clue. But she’s healthy so it’s not like she’s starving herself or anything.”

Lauren laughs. “Tobs, you’re healthy and your cooking skills leave something to be desired.” 

“Can’t argue there.” She admits with a smile. “But you’ll have to tell me how she does.”   
They sit for a minute. 

Tobin looks at her sketchbook and journal. “Uh, Chen?” 

Lauren looks up from her phone. “What’s up?” 

“Before Alex gets here, I’d like to share something with you.” Tobin says quietly, seriously. 

“Whatever you want,” Lauren smiles sweetly. 

“I think it will let you get to know Alex a little bit and what happened to me.” Tobin says as she reaches for her sketchbook and hands it to Lauren. 

 

 

Forty-five minutes later, Lauren has read the account of Tobin’s experience and her journal entry. Both of them have finally stopped sobbing in each other’s arms and are now quietly wiping their tears. 

“I have one more thing to say about this,” Tobin says as she puts her glasses back on and takes Lauren’s hand in hers. “When I was at my lowest, I thought about my family and how much I loved them and was feeling so down and alone. Then I thought about what you would be telling me to do and to get myself together and fight. Cheney,” she says as her lower lip quivers, “you were the one who’s voice helped me through this. Telling me to think about what I needed to do to survive. You were guiding me and you didn’t even know it.” 

“Oh, Tobin,” Lauren cries and she hugs her again, “you did it yourself but I’m glad my nagging helped.” She lets out a strangled laugh. 

Tobin holds her head as they hug and let go. “Thank you.” 

They eye each other as they regain their composure. 

Finally, Lauren breaks the silence. “Okay, I really don’t want to look like an ogre to meet Alex, so I’m going to clean up and change, okay?”

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, wiping her face, “me too.” 

 

Tobin pauses to straighten her beanie before opening the door. 

“Hi Lex!” she greets as she lets Alex in. She’s holding a couple of bags in her hands and wraps her arms loosely around Tobin’s waist for a hug. Tobin gives her a kiss on the cheek and rubs her back. 

“Hi there,” Alex smiles. “You seem pretty perky.” She observes. 

“Feeling good today,” Tobin admits. “Come on and meet Lauren,” 

“Sounds good!” Alex smiles as she follows Tobin to the kitchen. 

“You can drop your stuff here,” Tobin motions to the island. 

Lauren gets up from the couch to greet Alex. 

“I am so happy to meet you, Alex,” Lauren says as she wraps her in a bone crushing hug. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Alex replies and they pull apart. Don’t fangirl, don’t fangirl, Alex chants in her head. 

“So, what’s on the menu for tonight?” Lauren asks. 

“Oh, I brought some salmon and veggies.” Alex replies. 

Lauren nods, “Sounds awesome.” She smiles.

“Would you like something to drink?’ Tobin asks the two of them. 

“I, uh, I brought a bottle of wine,” Alex says as she pulls it out of the bag. She hands it to Lauren. Lauren inspects the label. 

“Ooh, a German Reisling,” she says approvingly. “Nice choice,” 

“Would you like a glass?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, sounds good.” Lauren replies. “I’ll get the opener and glasses.” She eyes Tobin who is smiling at the interaction. 

“I’ll just have a water,” she says, “don’t mind me.” 

“Oh, Tobs,” Lauren lightly slaps her arm as she moves to get the bottle opener, “you hardly drink anyway, you won’t miss it.” 

Tobin shrugs her shoulders and laughs, “True.” She turns to Alex. “I’m what you call a lightweight.” 

They hear Lauren snort as she opens the wine. “More like featherweight.” She points to Alex. “Give this girl two beers and she’s done for.” 

“Really,” Alex says, eying Tobin with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Tobin admits, “I was really lucky to be good at beer pong in college or else I’d have been in a lot of trouble.” 

“Oh, why don’t you tell Alex about the World Cup?” Lauren grins as she hands a glass of wine to Alex. Alex grabs Tobin a water bottle and they head to the couch. 

Lauren takes the recliner with a sly grin aimed at Tobin who rolls her eyes. Alex sits next to her, half a cushion away. 

“So?” Alex asks Tobin wanting to hear more. 

“Cheney!” Tobin exclaims, hands out gesturing. 

Lauren and Alex just stare at Tobin. 

Tobin sighs. “I might have passed out a little in the locker room after we won.” She mumbles. 

Cheney narrows her eyes at her. “They gave you IV fluids to sober you up.” She turns to Alex, “HAO, Heather O’Reilly, gave her, she claims, four beers.” The she starts laughing. “You were so hung over the next morning when we were on Good Morning America!” 

Alex lets out a laugh, looking at Tobin who has a wry grin on her face and just shrugs her shoulders at her. “I think I was still drunk on Good Morning America.” 

“Then, when they gave you and Carli champagne!” Lauren laughs even harder. She turns to Alex, “They were interviewed on the Today Show, I think it was, and to celebrate, they had champagne for them. Tobin was useless until later that night.” 

“Well, I wasn’t going to turn it down,” Tobin explains, “I was only being polite.” 

“They come back to the hotel and walk in on us having a team meeting,” Lauren laughs at the memory. “Tobin waltzes right in, says ‘Yo, Jill, sup?’” She’s imitating Tobin’s voice, “and nearly falls right out of the chair as she’s sitting down. We were like, what is wrong with her. Then Carli comes in with this shit eating grin, fist bumps everyone on her way in and sits on Hope’s lap.” All three of them are laughing. 

“That’s when we knew they were drunk.” Lauren chuckles, “Both of them featherweights.” 

Tobin is shaking her head, smiling. “I was just being polite.” She repeats, defending herself. 

“After that the PR people cracked down on the booze during the interviews.” Lauren says. 

They shift topics and Lauren ends up handing her phone over to Alex to scroll through photos of her daughter. Lauren willingly shares about her tumor ordeal without Alex ever mentioning anything. Tobin is content to listen them banter back and forth. She’s so content that, without meaning to, she shuts her eyes for a moment, just a moment, she thinks to herself. 

 

When Tobin awakes she smells the aroma of food. Stomach grumbling, she opens her eyes to see she’s alone on the couch. Her leg is elevated, she has a blanket over herself and her oxygen line is under her nose. Groggy, she just sits, her head still on the pillow and blinks her eyes to help her focus. She hears voices coming from the kitchen. 

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Alex,” Lauren’s saying, her voice warm and comforting.

“Thanks,” Alex replies quietly, her voice relieved and slightly shaky. 

What is this about, Tobin wonders. 

“Are we almost ready?” Lauren asks. 

“Like five minutes,” Alex answers. “Should we wake her up or let her sleep?” 

“Wake her up,” Lauren instructs. “I can’t bear her pouting if we don’t. She’d be mad if she slept so long while you were here,” Tobin can hear the smile in Lauren’s voice. 

“She’s cute when she pouts,” Alex defends. 

“Yeah, until it becomes insufferable.” Lauren laughs. “Actually, she normally just starts laughing at herself and how stubborn she can get.”

“That’s pretty much what she did when I couldn’t feed her anything.” Alex laughs lightly. Oh, that laugh, Tobin smiles. 

Tobin shifts her position and a soft moan escapes her mouth. She wriggles free of the blanket to stretch her arms out, only feeling the kink in her ribs when raising her left one. She lowers it and wipes her mouth of the fresh drool and sits up. 

Tobin wants to be awake but the pull of sleep is calling to her loudly still. Alex appears next to her, squatting low to be at eye level, grinning at her. 

“How was your nap?” she asks quietly. Her eyes roaming Tobin’s face. Tobin gives her a sleepy smile, her eyes half lidded, her beanie askew, having ridden up on her head and was dangerously close to falling off the side of her head. If Alex could take a photo of this sight before her she would call it a picture of cuteness overload. 

“Didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Tobin replies, her voice low and gravelly. Her throat is dry. 

“It’s okay,” Alex says sweetly, “you need to rest. It’s the only way you’ll get better.” 

Tobin nods as she straightens her back, trying to stretch her spine a little. She’s stiff and beginning to tire from sleeping in the same position. 

“Want a smoothie?” Alex asks. “I brought some stuff from home to make you a really good one.” 

“You did?” Tobin is surprised, “That was nice, yeah, I’d really like that.” She smiles. Alex is so sweet, she thinks. 

Alex is grinning back at her. The sleepy smile, she’s so adorable. I just want to kiss her face off right now. She settles for just leaning forward and giving Tobin a soft kiss on the lips and straightening up to offer her a hand up. 

Tobin crutches towards her room and Alex heads back to the kitchen where Lauren is sautéing the vegetables. She insisted on helping Alex cook and the two enjoyed each other’s company and getting to know one another. Alex quickly lost her nervousness being around Lauren, Lauren was genuinely interested in learning more about Alex.

Once they realized Tobin was out cold, they moved from the couch to the kitchen table to continue talking. Lauren asked Alex her opinion of how she thought Tobin was doing and what concerns she had for her. Alex surprised herself by revealing her fear that Tobin would withdrawal from her if she got scared. Lauren had a way of making Alex feel so comfortable and she was so easy to talk to. 

Lauren responded by sharing about Tobin telling her how much she really likes Alex and how sincere Tobin is with her feelings towards people. She talks about how good and pure hearted Tobin is and how she tends to be introverted when thinking over things. She ends with the line that Tobin hears as she wakes up. 

The three have a comfortable dinner, laughing about nonsense and Lauren teasing Tobin about her past antics. Tobin helps them clear the table and as Lauren washes the dishes, 

Tobin accepts the freshly dried ones from Alex with a smile as she puts them in their correct cabinets. 

They settle back in the living room with Alex sitting much closer to Tobin. Alex feels relaxed in Lauren’s presence and felt brave enough to slide in next to Tobin on the couch. 

Tobin reaches for her hand and she smiles shyly as Alex takes it. 

They chat about soccer and the Thorns and Lauren and Tobin give Alex insight into how different the NWSL is from the past leagues they played in. Alex was shocked to hear some of the stories of from them about no money, awful hotels, bed bugs, bus rides from Hell and how the teams and certain players were constantly encouraged to sex up the league or become the hated player. Although neither nor Lauren were the public faces of the US lawsuit, they told her some of the behind the scenes negotiating for the improvement of the NWSL specifically and their fight for equal pay. 

It was only around nine o’clock when Alex noticed Tobin was beginning to fade, her body slouched deeper into the couch and her involvement in the conversation dropping off. 

She turned to Tobin, “What do you say I help you get ready for bed and then I’ll take off?” she asked. 

“No, I’m good,” Tobin protests, “you don’t have to go.” 

Alex smiles at her, “I know you’re tired, I can read you like a book.” She pats her hand. “Let’s get you settled before you start yawning. That looked like it really hurt.” 

Tobin mind flashes back to the painful experience. She sighs. “Yeah, okay,” she agrees slowly. 

Lauren’s been watching the exchange with an amused look on her face. “I’m going to call my Mom and check in with her,” she says, “you got this?” she asks Alex. 

Tobin laughs, “Yeah,” she answers for her. “She can help this” she waves her arms and gestures to herself, “get ready for bed.” 

All three laugh quietly as they leave their seats. 

Tobin crutches to her room to use the bathroom and Alex prepares her night medications. She shows Lauren where they are and the list of medications and dosages that Perry made. She also shows her the nutrition guide and where the protein shakes were kept, surprising herself that she knew where they were from only being here a couple of times. Lauren takes it all in and the surprises Alex by asking her for her number in case she had any questions. They exchange numbers and Lauren goes off to the spare room to make her call. 

Alex finds Tobin at the sink swishing her mouthwash in her mouth, her face a mess from toothpaste residue and mouth rinse. She stands next to her and grabs a wash cloth, wetting it under the faucet and gently wiping Tobin’s mouth. 

“You got some,” she gestures to her mouth area. 

“Oh, thanks.” Tobin smiles. Her eyes look tired and Alex hopes she’s not going to yawn. Tobin hugs her after her cleaning, “I’m really glad you came over today,” she says quietly. 

“So am I,” Alex replies as she runs her hand lightly over Tobin’s back, still in the embrace. “It was really nice to meet Lauren. She’s super cool.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, her voice getting lower and rougher. “She’s awesome. She’s such a good friend.” 

Alex nods against Tobin’s chest and she thinks about Lauren. She knows they must be incredibly close because she remembers Tobin mumbling ‘Cheney’ a few times while she was out of it when they were in the shelter out in the woods. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Alex quietly suggests, taking Tobin’s hand a squeezing it. 

“Okay,” Tobin gives her a sleepy smile. 

They get to the living room and before Tobin sits down on the couch, she wraps Alex up again in a hug and rests her chin on her shoulder. 

“Hey, Lex, can I have a kiss goodnight?” she whispers into Alex’s ear. Alex pulls back and brings her hand to the back of Tobin’s neck and brings her in for a kiss. 

After a few minutes and some heavy breathing, Alex pulls back and smiles at her. She rubs Tobin’s bicep and brings her other hand up to wipe her mouth. 

“Ew, sorry,” Tobin says, scrunching her face. 

“Don’t be,” Alex says seriously. “I don’t mind, babe.” Tobin’s face relaxes. 

Alex sees Lauren coming down the hallway into the living room, “Besides,” she grins slyly, “I think it’s pretty hot that you’re drooling over me.” 

Tobin lets out a musical laugh. 

“Let’s get you settled,” Alex suggests. 

Alex shows Lauren how to work the oxygen and put on the line while Tobin sits there amused. As Alex prepares to leave, Tobin reaches for her hand. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks. 

“Fall Fest at the Park.” She replies. “It’s from eight until six.” 

“Wow, that’s a long day.” Lauren comments. 

“Yeah, but it’s fun,” Alex insists. “I do nature walks, crafts with kids and adults and we have live music and end with a bonfire and s’mores.” 

“Want to do dinner after?” Tobin asks, her voice unsure. 

“I would love to, but honestly I usually crash when I get home. I’m pretty wiped out.” Alex frowns. 

Tobin smiles, “That’s okay, I understand. Sounds like you’re running all day.” 

“What about Monday?” Alex asks. 

Tobin nods with a smile. 

“I’ll cook so you can relax.” Lauren offers. “Any food allergies I should know of?” 

“I’m cool with anything,” Alex replies. 

“Awesome,” Tobin says as she shifts her position. 

“Good night,” Alex whispers as she bends to kiss her cheek. 

“’Night,” Tobin answers sleepily. 

Lauren walks with Alex to the door and gives her a hug. “It was really nice to meet you and I look forward to seeing you Monday.” 

“You too, today was fun, see you then.” Alex replies as she grabs her backpack and heads out.


	13. Good Luck, Little Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin convinces Lauren to go to the Fall Fest on Sunday. Monday sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me.  
> Tobin in distress alert. 
> 
>  
> 
> .

Lauren comes back to the couch after saying good night to Alex. She sits down next to Tobin who’s struggling to keep her eyes open. 

“She’s really nice, Tobin.” Lauren says as she gets comfortable. 

“I like her so much,” Tobin mumbles, voice sleepy. 

“Go to sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Lauren instructs as she grabs the remote. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs as she gives in and closes her eyes. 

 

 

Sunday morning when Tobin wakes, she’s feeling pretty good. In fact, it’s the best she’s felt since everything happened. She’s on her phone when Lauren comes out of the guest room and looks up at her. 

“Can we go out for a little bit today?” she asks, her eyes wide. 

“Are you feeling good enough?” Lauren asks reasonably. 

“Yeah, I do,” Tobin replies. “I was looking at this Fall Fest thing and thought maybe we could go and, like, do a craft or something.” 

A wide smile appears across Lauren’s face. “Fall Fest, huh?” she says. Tobin nods, beginning to look disappointed. She thinks Lauren will say no. 

“Well, what are the crafts?” Lauren asks. 

 

 

They agree on a one hour fall painting session. Lauren gets out Tobin’s laptop and carefully maps the route, the location of the class and calls to ask how much walking is involved to get there. Everything seems close and she doesn’t think it will tire Tobin out too much. She helps Tobin shower and then she does the same when Tobin insists she can get ready herself. 

When Alex walked in during the middle of the class, she was delighted to see Tobin and Lauren. She didn’t make a big fuss because she didn’t want others to come over and bother them for autographs and such. Luckily, everyone stayed in their seats and gave them their privacy. 

They visited for a bit as they painted and wished Alex a great rest of her day as she had to leave to prepare for another event. Tobin feel asleep on the way back, claiming it was the fresh air from being cooped up in her place all week. 

Tobin had Lauren put a nail in the wall in her living room to hang her painting as soon as they walked in. They had a quick lunch and put a movie on and they both napped on the couch, Lauren with her feet on Tobin’s lap. 

After they woke from their nap, Tobin kept apologizing for not being social and sleeping so much. Lauren countered that she is the mother of a nearly one year old so sleep is a wonderful thing for her. So much so, that she insisted they head back to the couch and watch the National Team game. 

Camp was to run for about ten days and they had two friendlies during that time. This was the first of them. 

“That was nice of her,” Tobin murmurs as Julie Foudy sends her best wishes to Tobin for a speedy recovery. 

“Yeah, she called me to ask how you were doing.” Lauren replies. 

“She did?” Tobin asks, surprised. 

“Yeah, like, genuinely wanted to know how you were. Not like, looking for an interview or a quote. Totally off the record.” Lauren replies. She pulls out her phone.

“Huh,” Tobin says. 

“Before we knew that you were alive, Allie was hysterical. Well, we all were. We tried to be hopeful but that video was awful. We thought you broke your neck. Then when they posted the next one, seeing Mara kicking you in the ribs while you were out, it was hard to watch. We still didn’t know for sure if you were alive or not.” Lauren says softly. 

“I’m sorry you guys had to go through that.” Tobin says just as softly. 

“Not your fault, Tobs,” Lauren insists. “You have no blame in this. Don’t let yourself go there. Ever.” She says strongly, pointing at her. “You did nothing wrong. Do not let yourself think you ever did.” 

Tobin nods as some tears threaten to appear. 

“Just focus your energy on healing.” Lauren suggests. “Clear your mind of the doubts and negativity.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, taking her glasses off and wiping her eyes. “You’re right.” 

They watch the game, Tobin sipping on a smoothie Lauren had made following Alex’s suggestion of how to smooth it out so Tobin could drink it easily. Lauren drifted off during the second half, reinforcing her claim that sleep was wonderful. 

After the game was over, Tobin quietly got changed for bed and her nightly routine. She laid out her clothes for the next day. She checked her emails and sent a few to her agent, her lawyer and her Mom. She texted Perry to check in. She texted Allie and Kelly about the game. 

Lauren stirred as Tobin was hooking up the oxygen line and Tobin told her to go to bed. She sleepily agreed and headed for the guest room. 

 

 

Tobin awoke early again, frustrated to be not sleeping. She was stiff, most likely because she didn’t move at all during the night. She bunched up her pillows and laid across the couch, head still elevated and drifted off again. 

She smelled the coffee first before she opened her eyes. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Tobs,” Lauren says softly, “time to get up.” 

Tobin feels disoriented and mumbles something back at her. 

“What was that?” Lauren asks. 

“I don’t know,” Tobin admits. She rubs her face with her hands. “I was out.” 

“Yeah,” Lauren laughs. “Come on, let’s get started.” 

They had to wait in the waiting room for nearly forty minutes before she had to go back and get X-rays. Then another twenty minutes before the doctor came in. He reviewed the X-rays, confirming her alignment was still in place and looking good. He examined inside her mouth, carefully checking the incision, happy to see it was healing properly and no signs of infection. The stitches were beginning to dissolve. He praised her oral hygiene and keeping everything as sanitary as she could. 

After much uncomfortable prodding, he adjusted the bands in her mouth, which nearly sent Tobin out of the chair in pain. She was near tears as she left the room with Lauren, who got her in the car and gave her the ice packs the nurse had given her to put on both sides of her jaw. 

It was a shitty, rainy Monday when they got out of the office. Tobin sat silently in the car holding the ice packs on her jaw, eyes closed, willing the pain away. It figures, she thinks, my appointment was scheduled right near the end of my first dose of pain meds. She’s willing Cheney to drive faster to get home so she can take the meds and disappear for a while under the influence. 

“Good Lord!” Lauren exclaims, as the car in front of them begins to weave in the lane. They’re in a rather forested part of along the edge of Portland. The doctor’s office wasn’t located in the city. Tobin opens her eyes to watch the road, the windshield wipers slapping quickly back and forth across the glass. 

They both watch as two items are flung out the passenger window of the car ahead of them. Lauren quickly brakes and Tobin drops the ice pack and yells, “Stop the car!” 

She stops, Tobin squirming and fumbling for the door. Lauren grabs her arm to keep her in the car. “What was that?” 

“Animals of some kind, we got to get them!” Tobin exclaims, wincing with every word. 

“You stay put,” Lauren orders, “I’ll check it out.” She reaches into the back seat and grabs a hoodie and leaves the car. 

Tobin reaches over to put the hazard lights on, not wanting to put Lauren in any more danger than she is, walking along the side of the road in the rain. Tobin puts the ice packs back on her jaw, the pain is really letting her know it’s there. She’s startled when Lauren elbows her window and shouts for her to put it down. 

She reaches in and gently places the hoodie on Tobin’s lap and then quickly runs around the car to get back in. She buckles up and puts the car in drive, shutting the hazards off as Tobin carefully lifts the material. Two tiny kittens are lying in her lap. Tobin gasps at them. They couldn’t be more than a few weeks old. They’re both black and white, covered in mud and are slightly squirming and mewing. 

“Cheney!” Tobin cries. She lightly strokes the fur of both of the kittens. “I know,” Lauren says, turning into the first parking lot she comes across. She whips out her phone and asks Siri to find a veterinarian closest to her location. 

Tobin continues to stroke the little ones, bunching up the hoodie to keep them warm as she gently presses down on a bloody wound on one of them. 

“Why Cheney?” Tobin sobs. “Why do people do this?” she asks tearfully. 

“You think it’s fine and then Bam! they do something like this!” Tobin’s crying harder. “I don’t understand!” 

“I don’t know, Tobin,” Lauren says quietly as she puts the car in drive and pulls out of the lot. 

“What the fuck is wrong with people?” Tobin continues. Lauren is perceptive enough to realize this doesn’t have much to do about the kittens on Tobin’s lap right now. 

“Why? Why couldn’t they just talk to me? What was the point? Why did they hate me so much they wanted to kill me? What did I do wrong Cheney? What did I do?” She’s pleading and full on spiraling as she sobs, her breath hitching as the pain in her ribs pulls on her. 

“Oh no! No!” She exclaims as she watches the one kitten spasm and stop moving. They’re stopped at a stop light and Lauren glances over to see the kitten take it final breath. 

“It’s dead!” Tobin sobs, “They killed it! Why would they do it Cheney? Why? They killed this innocent kitten!” she can’t stop crying even though the pain is so intense in her jaw. 

“I don’t know,” Lauren says helplessly beginning to tear up herself. She feels so useless to Tobin right now. She’s thinking of what to say to comfort Tobin a little when she hears her mumbling, her voice strained with pain and emotions. “They threw it away like a piece of garbage.” 

Lauren sees the sign for the vet and pulls into the parking lot. She unbuckles her seatbelt and turns to Tobin. “Let me take them in,” she says softly. 

“I will,” Tobin says firmly. 

“Let me run them in and get them help and I’ll come back for you. You can’t carry them with your crutches.” Tobin sighs and nods, knowing Lauren is right. 

Lauren carefully grabs the hoodie, cradling it to her chest, opens the door and leaves. Tobin is left by herself, trembling from her outburst. She thinks of the kittens and quickly takes her glasses off to wipe her eyes furiously. She fumbles for the door handle and is out of the car, hopping to get her crutches out when Lauren jogs around the corner. Tobin is yanking a crutch out which is caught on the other one. 

“Come on!” she roars as loud as she can, frustrated. Lauren takes the crutch and leans in to separate it from the other one. She silently hands them to Tobin who spins and crutches towards the entrance. 

They get in and shake the rain from themselves in the waiting room. “They said to wait here while they assess them.” Lauren says quietly and Tobin nods. “I’ll be right back,” Lauren says and runs back outside. She returns moments later and gives Tobin the ice packs.

“Thanks,” Tobin says softly eying her. Lauren nudges her shoulder and smiles. “I got your back.” Tobin realizes the deeper meaning of her reply and her lower lip trembles. Lauren reaches around and puts an arm around her shoulder, pulling Tobin into her. Tobin raises the ice packs to her face and they sit. 

Thankfully, it’s a small office and there’s nobody behind the counter. Tobin slowly collects herself as they sit and she regains her composure. Finally, she turns to Lauren. 

“Cheney, I’m” she starts. 

“Don’t.” Lauren demands. “Don’t you dare apologize Tobin.” She says sternly. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing.” That almost starts Tobin crying again but she swallows the emotions and thinks of those kittens. She’s pretty sure the one is dead, but tries to be optimistic. 

After a half an hour, a tall woman with a messy ponytail pokes her head out of the door. “You guys brought the kittens in?” she asks. 

They nod. 

“I’m Dr. Fisher. Do you want to come back? I can tell you what’s going on.” She says. 

Tobin shoots up and grabs her crutches. Lauren next to her. As they pass, Lauren notices the vet’s eyes widen looking at Tobin and her injuries but says nothing. She gives her a tight smile. 

“This room.” She offers and lets them enter. 

An assistant is gently cradling one kitten that has an IV line going into its tiny leg. The other kitten has been cleaned up and is lying on a white towel. 

“I’m sorry, but this one didn’t survive.” Dr. Fisher says apologetically. “It had passed before you got here.” Tobin sniffles at this. Lauren rubs her back. Dr. Fisher looks around. “Would you like to sit? Are you okay standing?” she addresses Tobin. 

“I’m good, thanks.” Tobin replies, her voice nasally and broken. 

“Okay,” she says. “This little guy, he’s a fighter. He’s got a lot going on but I think” 

“I’ll pay.” Tobin interrupts. “Whatever it is, I’ll take care of it. Give him a chance.” She says as a tear runs down her cheek. 

“Okay,” Dr. Fisher says gently. "Did you, by chance get a license plate number?" 

Tobin and Lauren glumly shake their heads. 

“What are his injuries?” Lauren inquires. 

“Well, this little boy, I’m guessing about two weeks old. His leg is broken,” she gestures to an X-ray lit up on the wall. “It appears he’s got a bruise on his side, and a laceration near his head.” She points to the bloody wound. 

“I think he’ll be okay, but the leg may have to be amputated. The fracture looks pretty gnarly and until I get in there to see, I won’t know if I can put a plate in or if it will have to go. As you can see, it’s right below what we call our knee, so he’d have stump. He’d be perfectly fine because he’s so young he’d never miss it. If you wanted he could get a prosthetic leg as he gets older if he has trouble walking.”

Tobin and Lauren nod. 

“His head wound doesn’t appear too serious, some stitches or glue. I’m concerned about his eye. That may need to be removed.” 

“When can you do surgery?” Tobin asks. Her voice sounds a little stronger. 

“In an hour or so,” she replies. “We'll give him some pain meds so he's not suffering. It might take a couple of hours.” 

"Okay, let’s do it,” Tobin says as she leans on her crutches. “I can give you a credit card.” 

Dr. Fisher waves her to stop. “Let’s do this and see what happens, we can settle it later, okay?’ she says. She can sense that Tobin’s nerves are delicate and she doesn’t want to upset her. She knows who she is and Lauren as well. She’s a fan of soccer and played collegiately. She knows what happened to Tobin through the news reports and thinks maybe there is a parallel here that is disturbing for her and Lauren. 

“Okay,” Tobin replies as she nods her head. She bends over and lightly strokes the soft fur of the dead kitten. “Sorry buddy,” she says quietly. 

Dr. Fisher can see Lauren is just about to lose it so she turns to the assistant. “Would you like to take their information and I can call them later and let them know how it’s going?” The assistant nods silently and cocks her head for Lauren to follow her out. Tobin stays in place and takes a step to be closer to the other kitten. She pets the damp fur and looks up at Dr. Fisher. 

“Uh,” she says, suddenly embarrassed. “I’m uh, I’m sorry,” 

“It’s okay,” Dr. Fisher smiles kindly at her. “I’m sure it was upsetting to witness that.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies softly. 

“So, I’ll call you when I finish, alright? There’s always a risk with surgery, especially young kittens, I can’t make promises about that. Anesthesia can mess them up or there can be an undetected heart issue. So, no promises. He’s not out of the woods yet. But I will do my best for you.” 

“I appreciate it.” Tobin says, she looks down. “I appreciate your honesty and not sugar coating this.” 

The assistant and Lauren walk back in and Tobin looks up, wincing. “We set?” Lauren nods. 

“You gave them my number, right?” Tobin’s beginning to slur a little from the pain. 

“Yeah, we got to get you home, Tobs,” Lauren says gently tugging on her jacket, she wants Tobin to take her medicine. 

“Okay, good luck, little guy,” she strokes the soft fur of the kitten one last time as the assistant lifts the towel to take it into another room. 

“Thanks,” she says to Dr. Fisher as they head out. 

“I’ll call you later. Promise.” Dr. Fisher replies. 

Lauren helps Tobin out of the car and follows her closely as they enter her building. She’s nervous Tobin might fall. 

The finally get into her place and Tobin heads straight for the kitchen, grabbing her cup and looking for her medication. Lauren rushes to find it and measures it out and hands it to her shaking hand. Tobin takes it quickly and drinks some water. Then she silently crutches to the couch to lay down. 

Lauren covers her with a blanket, it’s cool in the apartment and she takes off Tobin’s right shoe. “Just close your eyes and rest,” she says quietly. 

“Thanks for everything Cheney,” Tobin mumbles. Lauren reaches down, takes the beanie off Tobin’s head and strokes her hair. “You’re welcome, go to sleep.” 

Exhaustion from the physical and emotion pain she felt this afternoon, Tobin gladly shuts her eyes and lays her head back. She feels Lauren put her oxygen line on and that’s the last thing she remembers. 

Once Lauren is sure that Tobin is sleeping, she puts the TV on low for some background noise and heads for the bathroom. As soon as she shuts the door, she bursts into tears, feeling awful about the day. She so desperately wished she had words of comfort and wisdom to give Tobin. She hugs herself as she cries. She prays this little kitten makes it through the surgery and will be fine. She fears Tobin will go off the deep end if he doesn’t. She prays for Dr. Fisher and her assistant and the little cat. 

She strongly feels that Tobin’s mental recovery hinges on this kitten. She gets down on her knees and prays to God to give her guidance and be able to help Tobin and to be merciful to Tobin and let her begin to heal.


	14. A Kitten, A Plant and The Mother of All Bets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex comes over for dinner as Tobin and Lauren continue to process what happened earlier in the day. Alex learns a little about Tobin's Father and just how oblivious Tobin can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Tobin making her way back to the pitch tonight, you get a chapter ahead of schedule! 
> 
> Thank you all for the meaningful comments and the much appreciated kudos. Your kind words go a long way and mean much more to me than you'll ever know. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one. 
> 
> Oh, and Go Tobs! #17

While Tobin slept, Lauren texted Alex, reaching out to her to give her a heads up on what had occurred this afternoon. If Lauren figured it correctly, Alex would be arriving around the time Dr. Fisher might be calling her. She wanted her prepared if Tobin’s reaction was emotional. Alex responded with gratitude.

She needed to think about dinner, mindlessly looking through the fridge and freezer trying to figure out what to make. She was distracted by a noise coming from the living room. 

She shut the freezer door and looks over to see Tobin flinching. 

“Tobs,” Lauren calls out as she approaches her. She lays a hand on the crown of her head and rubs her shoulder with the other. “You’re okay,” she murmurs. Tobin quiets down. 

She goes back to the kitchen and pulls out some chicken, deciding to just make a quick stir fry dish. She sets out the ingredients and beings to chop some vegetables. Tobin’s phone rings and she watches Tobin fumble for it sleepily and bring it to her ear. 

“Hello?” she asks, not looking to see who it was. 

“Hi Tobin, how are you feeling?” a voice says. It’s her father. 

“Uh, hey Dad,” Tobin replies. Lauren cringes when she hears it. As much as Lauren tries to be a good Christian, nothing frustrates her more than Tobin’s relationship with her father. The man just couldn’t accept Tobin for who she was, he constantly challenged her patience and often left her confused and hurt. He chastised her commitment to soccer last year when she wasn’t on the short list for FIFA Player of the Year and just casually congratulated her on being the NWSL Player of the Year. He pushed her, her pushed her buttons, her bullied her and made her feel less than. She could never please him.

Lauren had watched over the years how Tobin’s responses got shorter, the communication nearly ceased and she improved her poker face so he wouldn’t see how he hurt her. When they were younger, they spent many a late night with Tobin in tears. When she came out to him he told her it was just a phase. A few years later, they got into a heated argument that left Tobin not speaking to him for over six months. 

Just then there’s a knock at the door. Fuck, Lauren thinks, it’s Alex. Tobin wouldn’t want her to see this. She answers the door and slides into the hallway. 

“Hey,” she greets Alex, a little frazzled. 

“Hey,” Alex replies slowly, not sure what’s going on. 

Lauren runs her hand through her hair. “So, uh, it’s been quite a day and it’s not over just yet.” Lauren explains. She doesn’t want to over share about Tobin’s relationship with her father to Alex, but she wants her to know it’s not that great. She just states that Tobin and her father don’t get along very well and he’s called her, just now, for the first time since her ordeal. 

Alex’s eyebrows shoot high on her forehead at this news. Never would she have imagined Tobin living with this type of situation. After seeing how loving her Mom and sisters were to her, she just couldn’t see it. She had been curious about not seeing Tobin’s father but never asked about it. 

“Thanks for the heads up,” she replies to Lauren, “that really sucks.” 

Lauren just nods and opens the door and they go in. As they walk past Tobin on the couch, they can hear her short answers. 

“Yeah, four games. At least.” Tobin replies. 

“60k” she says, her voice clipped. 

“Hang on a sec, okay?” she puts the phone on her lap. “Hi,” she smiles to Alex. 

“Hi,” Alex smiles as she replies. 

Tobin picks her phone up, “I got to go, Dad, someone’s here I need to speak with.” She’s quiet while listening. 

“A cop.” She states, then listens again. 

“Bye.” She says without emotion and clicks the connection. She tosses the phone on the end table, it clatters loudly. Both Lauren and Alex can hear her mutter ‘asshole’ as she gets up from the couch and crutches over to them. 

Tobin lets out a sigh as she approaches, then shakes her head and smiles at Lauren and Alex. 

“Hey, Lex,” she says bringing her in for a hug and a quick kiss. “How was your day?” 

“It was good. Mostly clean up from the fest. Directing people to take down tents and stuff. I was Boss Lady as they call me.” She smiles. 

“It was super cool, I’d love to check out more next year.” Tobin enthuses. 

“I thought it was really nice too Alex.” Lauren chimes in. 

“It’s a lot of work but I have a great crew and some volunteers that make it such a success.” Alex replies shyly. “Oh,” she says and turns to get something out of her backpack. “I brought this,” she says as she presents a bottle of wine to Lauren. “Thought you could use it.” She says quietly. 

Lauren turns to Tobin, “I gave Alex a heads up about our day today.” 

Tobin just shakes her head. “It was pretty crazy.” She doesn’t mind if Lauren tells Alex about what happened. Even her freak out in the car.

“Did they call about the kitty?” Alex asks. She was shocked to hear Lauren’s run down of what they witnessed and trying to help the kittens. 

“Not yet.” Tobin shakes her head again.

Lauren had opened the bottle and handed a glass of wine to Alex. 

Alex raises her glass, “Cheers to good news and a better night.” She says as they clink glasses. 

Alex studies Tobin’s face. She was a bit pale and her eyes were still a little red rimmed from crying and she was slightly squinting, probably from pain. She had that look when Alex met her in the shelter almost a week ago. She could tell Tobin was trying her best to damp down the raging emotions she was feeling. Lauren didn’t go into explicit detail with about their time in the car, just saying Tobin kind of lost it and was making parallels from the kittens to herself. 

Alex could instantly tell that Lauren was struggling as well. She was pale as well, red eyed and had a nervousness about her. She was anticipating the phone call from the vet. Her and Tobin both. Just from what Lauren had shared and Alex deduced herself, she figured that Lauren was terrified that if this cat didn’t live, it would send Tobin down a hopeless emotional spiral. Alex found herself crossing her fingers and sending up a little prayer for this kitten. 

Alex got up and left the table, walking over to grab Tobin’s phone and brings it back, setting it down in front of her. Tobin gives her a grateful smile and lays her fingers on Alex’s forearm, lightly scratching it.

Lauren begins to make dinner and soon the sizzle of her stir fry was heard and the aroma drifted over to the table. 

Alex leans in to Tobin. “How are you? You seem a little off.” She asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, looking down. “My jaw appointment was pretty painful and then we saw two kittens get thrown out of the car driving head us and then I sorta had a meltdown.” 

“I’m sorry, babe,” Alex replies, wrapping an arm around her and squeezing it gently. 

“Then my dad called and wanted to know how much money I was losing out on from not playing with the National Team.” 

Lauren drops her spatula and nearly bangs her head on the countertop reaching for it from the floor. She can't believe how willing Tobin is sharing with Alex. It's a good thing she knows, maybe Alex is the person who can start helping Tobin open up about her feelings, Lauren thinks. Tobin and Alex look up from the noise and Alex watches Lauren give her an incredulous look as she rinses the spatula in the sink. Alex glances at Tobin and she sees her head is still down, looking at her water cup, absentmindedly wiping some condensation from it. 

“That couldn’t have been easy to hear,” Alex murmurs as she begins to rub Tobin’s back. 

Tobin let’s out a sigh, “Well it’s nothing really new with him but I thought he might have said something about being happy I was alive.” 

“Oh, Tobin!” Alex exclaims quietly. This is new territory for her to tread. She can’t imagine if her dad treated her that way. She has an excellent relationship with both of her parents so this is devastating to her. 

“Eh,” Tobin says, looking up, “I don’t really want to talk about right now, if that’s okay with you?” she asks, looking into her eyes. “I just want to enjoy your company,” she says as she gives her a quick kiss on the lips. “And Lauren’s too!” 

Lauren turns around and blows Tobin a kiss. 

“That’s fine,” Alex says, “if you ever want to talk about it, I’m all ears.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin says, her voice laden with emotion, “I really appreciate it. It’s not easy for me to talk about, but maybe I should.” 

“Whatever you want,” Alex says, leaving her seat, bending down to kiss Tobin softly. She takes a step towards Lauren who she sees is wiping her eyes. 

“What can I do?” she asks her. 

“Uh, can you make Tobin a smoothie?” Lauren asks, “this is almost done.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Alex replies and gives her a smile. 

“I can make it, Lex you don’t have to.” Tobin says as she reaches for her crutches. 

“No, I got” Alex gets cut off by Tobin’s phone ringing. 

Tobin picks it up. Alex and Lauren listen carefully to Tobin’s conversation.

“Hello?” she greets. 

“Oh, hey Dr. Fisher, how’s it going?” Tobin is back to staring at her water cup. 

“Uh huh,” she responds. There’s a pause while she listens. 

“Really?” 

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Her voice sounds disappointed. 

She listens, her right leg begins to bounce, heel tapping on the floor. 

“Which one?” her forehead creases a little. 

“Oh,” she says. 

“Yeah, I do.” She says softly, her eyes growing a little watery. “I have no idea what to do, but I really do.” 

Her face scrunches up as she’s thinking. 

“I could figure something out.” She’s nodding. 

“You would?” she sounds surprised. “You don’t” she gets cut off. 

“Okay,” a slow smile spreads across her face. “Well, I’ll have to think about it.” 

She lets out a light laugh. 

“Please just put it on the bill.” She says. 

There’s another pause. 

“No, really. I insist.” She’s nodding again. 

“Nope. Never.” She smiles. Alex’s heart warms from how beautiful it is. She nudges Lauren who turns to glance at her. 

“I’ll have to learn from the best, then.” She says as she looks up at Alex and Lauren who are now staring at her. 

“I’ve got the time.” She grins. 

“Yeah, anytime after seven is cool.” She’s nodding. 

“Sweet! See you then.” She clicks off the call and puts her phone down, grinning madly at the two women. 

“Well?” Lauren asks impatiently. 

“Well, the little guy made it through surgery just fine. She did have to remove his lower leg, just below the knee though. He lost his left eye. But, she said he’s a little fighter and was already meowing and wanting to eat.” 

“That’s wonderful!” Lauren exclaims and Alex can hear the relief in her voice. 

“Yeah, so I’m going to adopt him and she’s coming over tomorrow night to show me how to feed him and stuff.” 

“What? You with a cat?” Lauren didn’t see this one coming. 

“Why not?” Tobin asks, the grin not leaving her face for a moment. She points to the corner of the living room, “I’ve taken care of that plant for three years and it hasn’t died yet! I can take care of a cat.” 

Lauren looks at the large, leafy plant and begins to laugh. Her laughter quickly escalates to hysterics and soon she’s leaning against the countertop not able to speak. Tears are streaming down her face and her hand is covering her mouth as she tries to regain her composure. Alex and Tobin just look at each in confusion. Tobin shrugs, clueless. 

“Tobin,” Lauren begins between a fit of giggles. “that plant,” she starts. 

“Yeah, that plant you gave me when I moved in.” Tobin states. 

“Tobs,” Lauren is shaking her head still struggling not to laugh. “That plant,” she says before laughing again, “I’m sorry,” she takes a deep breath and calms herself. 

“Tobin,” Lauren says much calmer but still smirking, “that plant is plastic.” 

Tobin and Alex’s heads move to look at the plant in the corner. 

Tobin turns back to Lauren. “What? It is?” she asks incredulous. 

Alex begins to giggle. She walks over and fingers a leaf of the plant and laughs harder. “So obvious!” she laughs. 

“Really?” Tobin asks again. 

“Yeah, Tobs,” Lauren laughs. She takes out her phone and sends a text. 

Moments later, Tobin’s phone starts blowing up with text notifications. She looks up at Lauren, eyes narrowed. 

“Who knew about this?” she asks suspiciously. 

Lauren giggles, “Most of the National Team, some of the Thorns, some others.” 

Alex laughs and shakes her head. “How could you not feel that it was plastic?” she asks Tobin as she stands next to her. 

“Well, uh,” Tobin says, “plants in other countries felt the same way, so I thought it was kind of an exotic one, I guess?” 

“Which plants?” Lauren giggles. 

“Uh, hotel plants?” Tobin shrugs. 

Both Alex and Lauren submit to another fit of giggles as Tobin starts reading her messages. Alex walks over to Lauren and high fives her. 

“That is so fucking awesome!” Alex exclaims. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” Tobin exclaims, “Why are they talking about a winner? Did you guys bet on this?” 

“We pitched in five bucks every year and placed a bet on the date you’d figure it out.” Lauren grins. “It sorta became a thing to be asked to join.” She looks at her phone. “Now, let’s see,” she says as she scrolls through her phone, “yes, the pot is currently at $565. Date of you figuring it out: three years, four months and thirteen days. Now the winner, hhmmm,” she scans her screen. 

“Holy shit!” Lauren laughs. “No way!” 

“What?” Tobin looks horrified. 

“You wanna know the winner?” Lauren asks slyly. 

Tobin slouches back in her chair and tilts her head back, eyes shut. 

“Hit me.” She says. 

“Hope.” Lauren answers with a smile. 

Tobin slowly raises her head and opens her eyes. “No.” she says, eyes wide. 

Lauren nods. 

“I’m so embarrassed.” Tobin laughs. “Oh man, when my Mom finds out.” 

“Uh, don’t worry, your Mom, Perry, Katie and even Jeff were in this.” Lauren informs her. 

“This just keeps getting better and better.” Alex grins, happily looking between the two women. 

“I’ll add you to the group and then you can go back and read it from the beginning.” Lauren says and soon Tobin’s phone pings with the alert. 

Tobin is staring at the plant. “I watered it every ten days, just like you said.” She states. “I- holy shit! I had John from next door come in to water while I was gone!” 

Lauren nods, smiling. “He was in on it, too. Caught up with him about six months into it.” 

Alex starts laughing again. “This is too much,” she says, rubbing Tobin’s shoulders. 

Tobin brings her hand to her mouth. “I gave him gifts as a thank you!” she whispers. 

Lauren shuts off the burner on the stove and moves the pan from the heat. “Okay,” she giggles, “I’ve got to really pee now,” she says as she passes Alex and Tobin. 

Alex continues massaging Tobin’s shoulders. “That feels good, babe,” Tobin murmurs, pressing back a little into her. 

“You’re really tight up here,” Alex comments.

“Yeah, I think it’s from sleeping on the couch.” Tobin answers. 

Alex taps her shoulders, “Maybe we can continue this later.” She says as she moves to the island begins to make Tobin her smoothie. 

“You know, I said I could make that, you don’t have to.” Tobin repeats herself from earlier. 

“And I’d just like to do this for you, so you just sit there and look pretty.” Alex sasses back as she drops some fruit into the food processor. 

When they’re seated and eating, Lauren looks up from plate, “So, Tobs, you’re really going to adopt this kitten, huh?” she asks. 

“Yeah, I am,” Tobin grins. 

“Gotta say, I pictured you as more of a dog person, Tobs.” Lauren replies. 

“Well, I just think, in this instance, he might be what I need. Like, maybe there was a reason we saw what happened, you know?” Tobin says slowly. She clears her throat. “You know I’m not the best at talking about my feelings,” she begins, “but I think this little guy might be able to help me as much as I can help him.” She says simply with a shrug of her shoulders. 

Lauren eyes Tobin as she chews her food and then nods. “Good. I think you’re right.” 

“Any idea on a name for him?” Alex asks. 

“I don’t know,” Tobin admits. “I think I have to spend some time with him. Maybe figure out his personality.” 

“Welcome to the club.” Lauren smiles. 

Tobin looks at her confused. “Did you get a cat?” she asks. 

“No.” she smiles and points her fork at Tobin. “But you’re going to be a Mom.” 

Tobin looks at Lauren and then at Alex, startled. Then a slow smile spreads across her face, she sits slightly straighter in her chair, staring off in the distance as it hits her and then glances at them again. “Yeah,” she smiles, her eyes dancing with joy, “I going to be a Mom.” 

Alex felt her ovaries would with burst right then with all the emotions running through her as she looked at Tobin.


	15. Easy There, Horndog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren gives Alex and Tobin a little alone time. The next day, Lauren and Tobin have a good heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all keep giving me the feels with the comments. Thank you so very much. 
> 
> Your encouragement keeps pushing me to carve out the time for writing. I can't believe how much I missed writing. So, thank you. 
> 
> Any thoughts on the next Mystery Guest? Who's your guess? 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> .

Alex and Tobin washed and dried the dinner dishes while Lauren created a note for the grocery store. Alex agreed to hang out with Tobin while Lauren did a couple of errands. 

Lauren is asking Tobin about what she needs from the store while Alex is washing the dinner dishes. Tobin is drying them as she and Lauren converse. “Hey, Lex?” Tobin asks softly. 

She turns to face her. Tobin looks a little embarrassed. “Uh, I’d like to, uh, can I, um” she fidgets, nervously twisting the towel in her hands as she leans on her crutches. 

“What, babe?” Alex asks, moving a step closer and holding the towel still. “Just say it, it’s okay.” 

Lauren’s head is down, incredibly interested in the grocery list she was making. Alex glances over and can see the smile on Lauren’s face even though her head is tilted down. 

“If, um, if you still want to come, come over for dinner this week,” Tobin stutters as she looks at the counter top, “would, uh, would you mind if I had Cheney get whatever you’d like to eat?” she looks up at her. 

“Oh, like lobster and crab legs and a prime rib roast?” Alex jokes as she rubs Tobin’s bicep. Tobin smiles, her face flushed blazing red. I can’t believe this confident, gorgeous creature is nervous around me, Alex thinks to herself. 

“Oh, I’ll change my flight if you’re going to make a prime rib roast!” Lauren exclaims from the table. 

“How about a compromise?” Alex asks, as she moves her hand to Tobin’s back, lightly running her fingers up and down. “I’ll let you get me a few things, but I want you to do some homework.” Alex bargains. 

“Like, what type of homework?” Tobin asks, her forehead creased. 

“Well, I was thinking maybe you could do some research on foods that you could eat that might interest you, you know, with the food processor.” Alex shrugs. “Check them out with your nutritionist and I’ll get that stuff for you.” 

“Yeah Tobs,” Lauren chimes in, “You look too skinny, we need to fatten you up.” 

“Well, and so you don’t get tired of having the same drinks all the time.” Alex reasons. 

Tobin nods, smiling at Alex, “I can do that,” she replies. 

“Good,” Alex says as she slaps Tobin’s butt lightly as she passes her to go sit next to Lauren.

“I’ll be back before ten,” Lauren says as she gathers her purse and pockets Tobin’s credit card. She shoots Alex a wink and exits the apartment. 

Alex turns to see Tobin leaning on her crutches at the island looking through her phone on the counter. She’s stretching her back and neck, looking uncomfortable. As Alex approaches, Tobin looks up and smiles. She leans towards her, mouth puckered and gives her a kiss. Alex wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck and leans in for another one. 

“Back still stiff?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, it’s just really tight,” Tobin says, “It’ll be fine,” she insists. 

“I could give you a little massage. Do you think you can lay on some pillows with the good side of your head?” Alex asks quietly. “I was thinking if you sit at the table and lean into the pillows that might work.” 

Tobin shrugs, “Let’s try.” 

She crutches over to the couch and tosses a couple of pillows at her. Alex stacks the three on the table and turns the kitchen chair sideways and motions for Tobin to sit. Tobin gets in position and finds that resting her chin on top of the pillows and loosely hugging them works for her. 

“Should I take my shirt off?” Tobin asks innocently. She gets massages all the time and they’re no big deal for her. 

“Oh, Hell no!” Alex exclaims, shaking her head. 

Tobin turns her head to look at her out of the corner of her eye. She just raises an eyebrow. 

Alex lays her hands on Tobin’s back and brings her head next to hers to speak softly in her ear. “I don’t mind kissing and hugging you, but maybe we need to keep our clothes on until you’re well enough to handle some real heavy breathing.” She rasps, her voice low and sexy. 

Tobin raises her head slightly to look Alex in the eyes. “I can handle some heavy breathing,” she smirks. 

Alex laughs mischievously, “Not for what I want to do with you,” 

Tobin eyebrows shoot up and she grins. “We could test it out,” she reasons, trying to convince her. 

Alex shakes her head, “Nope.” She begins to massage Tobin’s shoulders. “Play your cards right and you can get to second base. Those ribs have to heal.” 

Tobin sighs. The she pops her head up. “What about if I make you breath heavy?” she grins. 

Alex continues to massage her back for a moment as she figures out her response. She leans down again, kissing Tobin’s neck and jaw and working her way to her ear so she can whisper in it. “I’m gonna wanna reciprocate, babe. We can’t have that. I don’t want to be responsible for a setback in your rehab because you’re horny.” 

Alex’s hands move down to the small of Tobin’s back and find a small knot she begins to work gently, resulting in Tobin letting out a light moan. Alex feels Tobin wince as she glides her hands to her lat muscles. “Sorry!” Alex exclaims, genuinely upset for hurting her. 

“No, it’s okay,” Tobin says, “it’s just really sore today, that’s all. Please don’t stop. It feels really good.” 

Alex moves up and works her shoulders and neck, making Tobin moan louder. Alex stops moving her hands, she’s getting very turned on from the noises Tobin is making. 

“Do you have any Icy Hot or something?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies sitting back and reaching for her crutches. 

“I can get it, just tell where it is.” Alex offers. 

“Oh, uh, in my bathroom, right side counter drawer.” She replies. “Thanks.” 

“No problem,” Alex says as she goes to Tobin’s room. 

When she returns, Tobin is smirking at her. 

“What?” she asks. 

“I thought you said we have a no hands on skin policy?” Tobin questions, raising an eyebrow. 

“This is medical related.” Alex answers as she lifts the back of Tobin’s shirt. “Not sexual.”

“Too bad,” she hears as she starts working the cream in. 

“Easy there, horndog.” Alex smiles. 

She feels Tobin’s back quake from laughter. 

 

All three work together putting away groceries while throwing out ideas of what Tobin could make into shakes. The suggestions started off as being serious, but soon escalates into crazy combinations that had them laughing as they tried to top each other’s silliness. 

Lauren and Alex pick up on Tobin’s slumped shoulders and drooping eyes, indicating she was getting tired. Tobin doesn’t admit it, partly out of being polite to her guests and also because she just enjoys their company too much to go to sleep. Alex is the one who brings it up, getting Tobin to agree to get changed for bed and take her meds. Once again, Lauren is impressed with how Alex can gently guide Tobin into this and have her comply with little to no whining or arguing. Not that Tobin does that, but Alex just makes her see the value in doing this so she can rest and heal properly. 

It doesn’t take long for Tobin to pass out, bundled up on the couch after giving Alex a good night kiss and a see you later to Lauren. Lauren and Alex hang out for a little bit and when Alex departs, it’s with Lauren giving her a tight hug and telling her to keep in touch. 

 

Tuesday morning finds Tobin waking up a little melancholy and weepy and Lauren feeling the same way. They both snuggle on the couch, pretending to watch a Premier league soccer match while contemplating how they’ve survived facing possible death. Tobin’s at the hands of others and Lauren’s having her own body betray her. Lauren quietly tells Tobin how proud she is of her, how she should feel good opening herself up to Alex. Lauren declares that she thinks Alex is a really good person and she genuinely likes her, which is something Tobin didn’t even realize she really needed to her from her. 

Feeling safe with Lauren’s arm around her, Tobin admits how much she likes Alex and how scared and nervous Alex makes her feel. She just doesn’t want to fuck it up. She wants to be open with her, she does feel safe telling Alex her intimate, private feelings. 

“Chen, do you think it’s too fast? I mean, I’ve never felt so comfortable with so quick with someone I’m kind of dating.” Tobin asks. 

“Well, I think you feel safe with her because of the situation of how you met. I mean, like really met, not the flirting at the station.” Lauren responds. “Maybe because you were hurt and in pain and she showed you compassion and comforted you and made you feel better, that caused some sort of trust bond or something.” 

“Hmm,” Tobin murmurs, “yeah, that might have something to do with it. But how would she feel that? I was just another rescue to her,” Tobin wonders. 

Lauren snorts, “Tobs, you obviously weren’t just another rescue to her.” Tobin looks at her. “I really don’t think she’d be hanging around as much if you were. Picking your Mom up at the airport? Being at the hospital? Nah, I think she’s feeling pretty much the same as you.” 

They’re quiet for a few minutes, Lauren letting Tobin process that tidbit of information. 

“We’re going to wait to have sex,” Tobin announces nervously. She turns to look at Lauren. “Like, I’m excited about that ‘cause I want to really get to know her, but I like, I, uh, don’t trust myself so much anymore?” she says, her voice soft. “I’m kind of scared,” she admits. 

Lauren looks at Tobin for a long minute. She sighs. “Alex is nothing like Mara and Liz, okay?” she says gently. “This just might be one of the first times you’re going to start a relationship in a conventional way and, it’s true, that can be scary. She’s completely out of your natural habitat,” 

“Like being another soccer player or are we talking about a zoo?” Tobin grins, trying to break up the seriousness a little. 

“Shut up!” Lauren laughs, pinching Tobin’s upper arm, “I mean, like, yes, not being a soccer player.” 

“So, like, maybe I’m growing up here a little bit?” Tobin questions, “I just feel like she’s so out of my league. She’s so smart, she’s funny, she’s” 

“Tobin,” Lauren cuts her off, “how about you think about this: every time you doubt yourself, just remember that Alex is the one who’s coming to see you. She wants to be here. She wants to be in your company. Neither of you are out of each other’s leagues.” 

“Okay,” Tobin sighs, nodding. “I will,” 

“Besides,” Lauren says as shifts herself away from Tobin so she can get up from the couch, “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed that she wants to rip your clothes off.” 

“What?” Tobin asks with wide eyes. Okay, she maybe has gotten that impression a little, but she isn’t completely one hundred percent positive. They’ve done their flirting and managed to kind of make out but she still isn’t sure about things. Although the massage last night definitely got her attention. 

“Tobin,” Lauren smiles looking down as she stands next to her, “I may be hetero, but I can definitely tell how much she likes you and already cares about you and” she laughs as she walks into the kitchen. “how much she wants to get into your pants.” 

“Cheney!” Tobin yells a she turns to face her, a flush in her cheeks. 

“Change of subject.” Lauren announces as she comes back and hands a glass of orange juice to Tobin. “Are you ready for this cat?” she asks. “I don’t know much about kittens but I think you’re going to be feeding him like every three hours and stuff. Do we need to go to the store?” 

“Nah, Dr. Fisher said she’d hook me up with what I’d need for a little bit, like formula and stuff.” Tobin explains. “But maybe whoever comes here will take me out tomorrow to a pet shop to check it out and get whatever else.” 

She looks at Lauren. “So, who is coming today?” she asks her. 

Lauren just smirks, “Perry told me not to say.” 

“Come on, really? Are we, like, five?” Tobin snorts. 

“Says the woman who watered a plastic plant for nearly three and a half years? That’s rich.” Lauren laughs. 

“Please?” Tobin asks, her hands held together under her chin in prayer. 

“Nope,” Lauren shakes her head. “Not going against The PerMeister’s wishes.” 

Tobin holds her head down in defeat. “Alright.” 

“You’re not going to do anything reckless while you’re alone for a little bit, are you?” Lauren asks.

“Honestly, I’ll probably nap,” Tobin answers, looking at her watch. “I’m due for my meds so I’ll probably just pass out.” 

Lauren nods. “Alright,” she says as she heads to the spare room. She exits quickly with her suitcase and rolls it near the door. “Tomorrow you see Dr. Bre, hopefully you’ll get your stitches out of your leg. Remember to ask her about the Percocet- get a lower dose. You can’t be passing out with your little kitty. He needs you.” 

He needs me, Tobin repeats to herself. It’s been a long time since Tobin’s felt that anyone has needed her. Sure, her teammates need her but this is totally different. Like, this cat is going to depend on me to take care of it. She nods to herself, I can do this. 

Lauren looks at her phone. “My Uber is here,” she says as she wraps Tobin in a hug, “I love you, I’ll miss you, and you better take care of yourself.” She says as she gives her a kiss on her cheek. “Keep me in the loop about you and Alex. She’s good for you.” 

“Thank you so much for everything,” Tobin says, “I really appreciate you coming out to help me.” 

“Let me know if I should come back, maybe we can get A-Rod in on it.” Lauren says as she breaks the hug and bends down to grab her backpack. She stands straight up in front of Tobin and looks her in the eye. “You’re going to be fine.” She says. “Call me anytime- I don’t care what time it is, if you need to talk, facetime, whatever, just call. I’m here for you.” 

“Thanks Chen,” Tobin says as she gets up and grabs her crutches to escort her to the door, “you too. I want to hear about your follow up with the doc next week.” 

“Will do,” Lauren says as she opens the door. “Love ya, kid!” 

Then she was gone.


	16. HAO, Dory & Stosh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mystery Guest #2 appears, Tobin gets to met her new Kitty.

Tobin’s standing in her living room, leaning on her crutches, staring out her patio door. It’s only one o’clock, she’s had her lunch drink and is due for her meds. Beckie just left after changing the dressing on her leg. Everything is looking good. She looks to her right and sees the damn plant, sitting there mocking her. She leans over and fingers a leaf. Damnit, she thinks. I am so stupid. How did I ever really believe that thing is alive, she questions herself. She shakes her head and grins. It’s actually totally hilarious. I’ll have to read the thread and see what they said. 

Alex. Alex is pretty amazing, Tobin thinks. She gets me, she can anticipate my moods and what I need. Not just materially, like needing my meds or something to drink, but, like, needing her to touch me, or hug me. I really like her. She does seem to like me too, Cheney’s right. I feel like I can tell her anything. Talking to her is so easy, I’ve never felt like this with someone before. She’s so hot, but I can’t do anything with that yet. These damn ribs, I can’t wait for them to heal. 

I can’t believe I actually said yes to getting a cat. A kitten really, a really little tiny one. I hope I can handle whatever it is I need to do. I got this, I handle it. If not, I’ll ask for help. I can figure it out. 

I wonder who’s coming next, she thinks as she pivots from the door and makes her way to the couch. She takes her meds and drapes the blanket over herself, then attaches the oxygen line. She grabs her phone and sets the alarm to a half an hour before the mystery guest’s arrival time. 

She sets her phone on the end table and leans back into her pillows and shuts her eyes. 

Tobin’s gentle alarm wakes her from her slumber. She turns it off and unhooks the oxygen line placing it on the end table and shutting it off. She wipes the sleep from her eyes and the drool from her mouth with the end of her long-sleeved shirt. She puts her glasses on and leans forward to stretch a little. Looking around she wonders if she should try to sleep in her recliner and see if it’s more comfortable. 

She gets up and crutches to the bathroom to use the toilet and check her face. The bruising from her forehead is slowly moving down, giving her two black eyes and the jaw bruise is creeping down her neck. She sighs. On her way out of her room, she grabs a beanie and puts it on her head. 

She grabs a water bottle from the fridge and tosses it on the couch and crutches over to sit. She grabs her phone and calls her Mom. It’s a quick call to check in and her Mom is getting ready to leave the house. Once she hangs up, she scrolls through her phone, seeing all of the well wishers tagging her for a speedy recovery. She thinks about it and takes her beanie off. She opens the camera app and looks at her reflection. She leans back against the pillows and pulls her hair to one side and snaps a photo. She opens her IG account and uploads it and captions it simply with ‘healing’. 

The world should see what those two assholes did to me, she thinks and nods. She puts her beanie back on and feels satisfied. 

A knock at her door gets off her the couch and crutching towards it when she hears a key in the lock. How many people have keys to my place, she wonders as she approaches it. The door opens and Heather O’Reilley is standing before her. “Oh my God, Tobin!’ HAO exclaims as she reaches to hug her. Tobin holds her back a little. 

“The ribs, dude!” she laughs. 

“Fuck, you look awful! Are you okay? Should you even be standing, here, let’s go sit,” she says as she squirms past Tobin, who takes a step back to give her some room. She walks down the hall, tosses her bags on the floor of the guest room and looks back at Tobin. 

Tobin has an amused look on her face. 

“Dude, let’s go, off your feet now.” HAO commands, gesturing to her to come down the hallway to the living room. 

Tobin shakes her head slightly and crutches down, going to the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. 

“I can get that for you, you know,” HAO says a little exasperated. 

“Dude, I can get around a little bit, it’s cool.” Tobin placates. “You want a beer?” she offers. 

HAO nods, “Let me look, you always have a great selection.” She says as she comes over next to her to peer inside. She selects one and opens it. She grabs the water bottle from Tobin’s hand and nods towards the couch. 

HAO takes a swig of her beer, “None of that piss beer we used to drink in college,” she grins. 

“I’ve upgraded a little,” Tobin smiles. 

They sit down and Tobin elevates her leg on the coffee table. 

“I thought you and Dave were going to Europe soon.” Tobin inquires. 

HAO nods, “Next week.” She smirks at her. “I’ve got a couple of offers to check out.” 

“You do?” Tobin asks, eyes wide. “Who?” 

“Oh, you know, PSG, Lyon, Arsenal,” she responds casually. 

“That’s awesome!” Tobin smiles, extending her arm for a fist bump. 

“Yeah,” HAO says, “I’m really excited.” 

“You gotta be a Gooner,” Tobin enthuses. 

“Well, they’ve made the best pitch so far, but I want to check the others out.” HAO replies. “I want to do at least one season before I hang it up.” she explains. 

“You’ve still got gas in the tank,” Tobin comments. 

HAO nods, “I know, but Dave and I are thinking about kids and we’ve just gotten into that coffee shop business, so I’d like to be around for that.” 

“That was such a good call, by the way.” Tobin admits. “I love that guys bought the place.” 

“Well,” HAO says, taking a pull of her beer, “that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” 

Tobin shifts her position so she faces HAO more. “Yeah?” 

“I know you love it out here,” HAO begins, “but I just want you think about this, okay?” she asks. 

Tobin nods. 

“Maybe you’d consider investing some cash into a business or two with our group?” she says. “I’m only talking to a couple of people, UNC alums, of course, but we’d form a group and whatever amount you give, you’d get a piece of ownership and a percentage of profits back.” 

“That sounds interesting, like, how much are you talking?” Tobin asks. 

“Maybe 50K buy in, depending on the building or business.” HAO replies. “But, I’m talking a year or two down the line. We want to make sure this shop works out and stays profitable.” 

“Alright, I’d be interested, I’d have to talk to my financial planner, but I’d be interested.” Tobin nods. 

“Good,” HAO smiles and takes another swig of beer. “I’ve got one other thing to talk to you about and then you’re going to tell me everything you want about what happened, okay?” 

“Sure,” Tobin nods. 

“Okay, so, like, I ran into Mia and Lil a couple of weeks ago.” HAO says excitedly as she draws a leg beneath herself. “They are interested in doing something different with First Team Soccer Academy and maybe get some new blood into it.” 

“I have my own camp,” Tobin demures, “I don’t know,” 

“Yeah, I know,” HAO nods her head in agreement, “but it made me think,” she says, “When you retire, let’s analyze the soccer camps, and maybe come up with a ten dollar price or something and get a bunch of investors so it’s always cheap, like your grassroots approach, but set it up in a way that the parents have to get all of the sponsor info when they drop them off. Like, have a totally different parent section during most of the camp that keeps them occupied and mixing with the sponsors.” 

“I like the low price,” Tobin agrees, “who else are you talking to about this?” 

“Well, right now, just UNC people,” HAO admits. “But in a few years, maybe we’ll meet and come up with a business plan and see what comes of it?” 

“Maybe we can barter with the sponsors or something,” Tobin muses, “like, exchange sponsorship with a corporate appearance for those that, like, do public speaking or something.” 

“Yeah, you’re getting the idea,” HAO says, smiling. 

“Can I ask you for something though?” Tobin asks. 

“Anything,” 

“Can you maybe, like, email these ideas to me? ‘Cause I’m on a lot of drugs and I know I’ll forget later,” she admits. 

“Oh, yeah, of course,” HAO says, a bit surprised.

Tobin nods. 

“So, how are you feeling?” HAO asks quietly and cautiously, the reality of Tobin’s incident hitting her and embarrassing her a little that she opened their visit with money making ideas. 

“A little better,” Tobin says, “I can speak better, but man! The pain in my jaw and ribs just sucks!” 

“It’s really wired shut tight, too,” HAO observes, “so you’re only drinking fluids then?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, “it hasn’t even been two weeks and I’m so over it already.” 

“Your leg isn’t casted yet, is it okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “the stitches need to come out and the wound to heal a little more before they can cast.” 

HAO nods, “Dude, you were so lucky,” her lower lip begins to tremble, “that video,” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says quietly. 

“I was so scared for you, I felt sick about it,” HAO admits, “then, when the next tweet came out,” she shivers. “Someone was sure looking out for you, dude,” she ends softly.

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “He was.” 

They’re silent for a moment. 

“You hungry?” Tobin asks. 

“No, I ate before I left, I’m good for awhile.” She replies. 

“Well, help yourself,” Tobin offers, “Dinner is usually around five-thirty.” 

“That’s cool,” HAO grins. 

“Let me show you something,” she gestures to her sketchbook. 

They sit down and Tobin hands over the book to her, “So, my mouth gets sore if I talk too much and I knew everyone wanted to know what happened and what I did. I thought about it and decided to write it out. It’s something I made to explain what happened. I haven’t finished it yet, but it helps me process how I feel about it.” She explains. 

HAO looks at Tobin as she fingers the cover. She takes another pull from of her beer and then sets it down on the coffee table. She takes a deep breath and opens it to the first page. 

When HAO closes the sketchbook about twenty minutes later, she reaches for her beer with a shaky hand. She chugs the rest of her beer and looks at Tobin. “That was fucking intense, dude.” She states. 

Tobin nods. 

“I can’t even imagine doing that, what you did, keeping it together? Fuck, Tobin, you’re a fucking badass!” HAO exclaims. 

Tobin grins at her, “Why don’t you get yourself another beer, dude? I have a little something else I’d like you to read.” She suggests. 

When she sits back down, HAO slides in next to Tobin. “Whatcha got?” she asks. 

“You’re one of my best buds, and remember in the story where I wrote about writing those letters to people?” Tobin asks. “Well, I wrote one to you. I want you to read it, because since this happened, I’ve decided that I’m going to always tell the people I care about just how much they mean to me. Because, you never know, you might never get a chance to before something happens.” 

She opens her journal and finds the page and hands it her. Tobin watches as HAO reads her message, tears beginning to form and then start falling down her face. HAO wipes at them aggressively and continues reading, her hand shaking a little. HAO looks up at Tobin, an incredulous expression on her face, mouth open, eyes big. She looks back at the page, her eyes glazing over a little, contemplating. 

Tobin begins to play with the hem on the sleeve of her shirt, idly toying with it and giving HAO time to collect herself. HAO has been one of her oldest soccer friends, playing together as youngsters in New Jersey and training together as they grew into teens. When Tobin got to college, HAO was there to lead her around, make sure she didn’t get into too much trouble and helped her grow up a little. 

“I’m just picturing you, holed up in your shelter, feeling so alone and taking the time to write this for me.” HAO says, still looking at the page. “I prayed so hard when I first saw that video and then your Mom called me. I was terrified. I wasn’t ready to live in a world that didn’t have you in it.” 

She looks up at Tobin with tears in her eyes, bringing the journal to her chest. “I fucking cherish this Tobin.” She begins to cry and leans into her. “I love you so much.” Tobin reaches around and gently strokes her hair. 

“I love you too, bud.” She says quietly. The sit for a few minutes, just being there, grateful for each other. 

“Can I take a picture of this?” HAO asks, “just for me, I won’t post it or anything. I’d just like to keep it.” 

Tobin nods her head. “Yeah, man.” 

Hao puts the journal on her lap and fishes her phone from her pocket, lining it up and snapping a photo. She closes the journal and hand it back to Tobin, looking up to notice that she’s smirking a little. 

“What?” she asks. 

A smiles spreads across Tobin’s face, “Apparently your reading face is the same as your game face.” She giggles a little. 

HAO lets out a laugh, a genuine laugh. “You asshole! When you’re better, I’m gonna smack ya!” 

Tobin reaches over and gives her an awkward hug. “I look forward to it!” 

Tobin glances at her watch. “So, uh, we have a busy evening, okay?” she asks. 

HAO just raises her eyebrows at her. 

“So, Alex should be here any minute, she’s cooking dinner tonight.” Tobin explains. “Then, sometime after seven, Dr. Fisher is coming by.” 

“Alex?” Hao questions, “Like Alex, the chick who rescued you?” 

Tobin nods, smiling and blushing a little. “We’re sorta seeing each other.” She says quietly.

Hao smiles, “That’s awesome, dude!” she says, “I could tell you really liked her just how you wrote about her. I can’t wait to meet her.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, taking her beanie off and running her hand through her hair, “she’s pretty awesome.” 

“So, who is Dr. Fisher?” HAO questions. She doesn’t remember that name on the email she got from Perry. 

“Oh, so she’s a vet and she’s bringing over the cat I’m adopting.” Tobin explains. 

HAO just looks at her. “Dude, you watered a plastic plant for almost three and a half years and you’re going to get a cat?” 

Tobin was expecting that kind of smart ass reply. She knows HAO is only joking. “Yeah,” she says, nodding. “And I watered that plant every ten fucking days consistently. It was never treated so well.” she says smugly, beginning to laugh. 

Hao laughs with her, “Really, what’s the deal with this cat?” 

Tobin calmly tells her the story about her and Lauren’s experience. 

“What the fuck, Tobs?” HAO says, getting up from the couch, “Emotional rollercoaster much?” 

“Yeah, tell me about it,” she agrees, gathering her crutches and getting up the couch as well. 

When Alex arrives, HAO insists on helping her with dinner. “Just let me cut stuff, tell me what to do.” 

It settles Alex’s nerves, she knows she should just relax, but here she is, meeting another soccer superstar. It’s hard to not be a little nervous. Tobin makes it much easier, her arm loosely around Alex’s waist as she leans on her crutches, giving her a kiss hello. 

She asks about how her day was and both her and Heather show genuine interest in what she shares. They ask meaningful questions and really listen to her answers. Dinner prep ends with Alex feeling at home, HAO observing the interaction between her and Tobin with a smile. 

Dinner is just as relaxed, Tobin sipping her protein shake and Alex asking Heather about her shake recipes. They get into a serious discussion about nutrition and Heather really ponders Tobin’s predicament. 

“Well, look at her,” Alex says, gesturing to Tobin. “She’s lost about fifteen pounds and hasn’t gained any back. I don’t know where to look for ideas. The forums I found about broken jaws just talk about the best tasting stuff, not the actual nutrition values.” 

“Hhmm,” HAO ponders, she looks at Tobin. “You should talk to Dawn, I bet she would have some tips.” 

“Yeah, that might be a good idea,” Tobin replies and turns to Alex, “She’s our fitness coach on the National Team.” 

“This is excellent, Alex,” Heathers says pointing her fork to her plate. “I really like the flavoring of the chicken, what did you use?” 

They start talking about cooking and Tobin observes, a small grin on her face, happy Alex is comfortable with Heather. She looks at her watch and sees it’s nearly seven thirty and suddenly she begins to feel nervous. I can do this, it’s just a cat, not a kid. I can do this. She’s repeating this in her head and is startled to feel a hand on her forearm and HAO looking at her seriously. 

“Are you okay?” Alex ask, her voice raspy, filled with concern. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m good, I’m fine,” she says quickly. 

“You’re gonna rock this cat thing, babe,” Alex says confidently. “Maybe not at first, but as you learn, I’m sure you’ll be awesome.” She smiles at her. “No need to panic.” 

Tobin lets out a breath he didn’t know she was holding. How does Alex know what I am thinking, she wonders. “Yeah, okay,” she nods. “I can do this.” 

Dr. Fisher arrives wearing a backpack and holding two bags, one larger than the other. She introduces herself to Alex and Heather, accepts the offer for a beer from Tobin and begins to organize herself at the kitchen table. She has Tobin sit next to her with Alex and HAO across from them. Both Alex and HAO have their phones out, recording video of   
Tobin carefully taking the tiny kitten from Dr. Fisher’s hands and snuggling it to her chest. 

“He’s got white paws!” she exclaims softly, holding his right one out. His left paw is half the length, bandaged in a light blue gauze, and bright orange sutures are on his head, over the fur covering his missing eye. 

“And a mustache!” she says. “He’s so cute!” she gushes. Alex almost can’t handle how cute Tobin is right now. 

“He’s what you’d call a tuxedo kitty,” the vet explains, “he’s got a white chest and belly as well.” 

The little guy is getting hungry and Lisa, as Dr. Fisher insisted they call her, explains how they’ll be able to identify the different cries he gives out. Hunger, frustration, wanting attention. She produces a small can of formula, explaining the brand she chose, why she chose this one and where she can purchase it. She shakes it up, opens it and puts some in a small bottle, asking HAO to warm it under hot water from the faucet. When HAO returns, she gently lets out a few drops on her inner forearm, just like you’d do for a human baby. 

She shows Tobin how to hold the little guy and give him his formula, Tobin is laser focused and as serious about this as she is about any soccer game she’s ever played. She’s all concentration, asking questions, nodding at the responses, tucking the information away. 

Alex looks over and sees such a soft look on Heather’s face, it makes her smile. 

After he’s done feeding, he snuggles into Tobin chest, purring as she softly pets him with two fingers. She’s listening to Lisa explain how to she needs to help him do his business and what she should expect in the next week or so. 

The conversation turns when Tobin asks Lisa about the soccer photo that was in the exam room when she was there. Lisa explained how she went to Stanford and played soccer and then went on to UC Davis for her vet schooling. 

“What years were you there?” HAO asks. 

Lisa grins, “I may have played with a certain forward and a fiery Irish woman you both know.” 

“No way!” HAO exclaims. “Really?” 

“Yep, Press and O’Hara. Small world, huh?” she replies. 

“Totally,” Tobin says as she drops her chin to her chest and snuggles the kitten. 

“I recognize you Alex, but I can’t place where. Did you play too?” she asks. 

“Yeah, Cal.” 

“Pink prewrap?” Lisa asks with a smile. 

“Yeah,” Alex smiles. “Injuries kept me from going further.”

“Ah, that’s too bad.” Lisa says regretfully. 

“Ah, I still kick it around a little but with a bum knee, I’m tentative.” Alex states. 

“I understand that. I blew out my ACL senior year, rehabbed and decided to just go into my field. UC Davis was a surprise to accept me so I felt I had to take it and just went for it.” Lisa explains. 

Alex nods at her and Lisa’s gaze comforts her, she knows what it’s like. 

The kitten begins to squirm and makes a soft grunting noise. 

“Uh, what’s he doing?” Tobin asks nervously looking down at the furball in her hands. 

“He’s ready to pee and or poop.” Lisa explains. She reaches for him and places him on the pad laid out on the table. She asks Alex for a damp paper towel and demonstrates how Tobin should encourage elimination by wiping the butt area. As she does it, the kitten urinates on the pad. She has Tobin do it and the little guy poops a bit. They all give a quiet cheer. Lisa tells her how these amounts are normal and she should do this after every meal and when he makes the grunting noise. 

“Hey, uh, sorry,” Tobin interrupts. “Have you had dinner yet?” she asks. 

Lisa shakes her head, “Nah, I’ll just grab something on the way home.” 

“No, we’ve got some leftovers here, really, eat.” Tobin insists. 

“No, I” Lisa starts.

“I’ll make you a plate.” Alex says as she gets up from the table. HAO is just smirking at the exchange. 

“Don’t fight it,” HAO smiles. Lisa grins back at her. 

“So, you’ll be doing feedings every couple of hours,” Lisa says, folding up the pad. “You can use a couple of layers of paper towels if you want instead of something like this.” 

“Hey, Lisa,” Tobin says, “Can I take a photo of you and send it to Press and Kel?” 

“Sure,” she grins, “not sure they’ll remember me, I wasn’t at their level. But, what the heck.” 

She snaps a photo and sends off the text. 

Tobin: Hey, recognize her? 

Press: How do you know Dory?

KO: The Fish!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tobin: she’s my vet 

Press: why do you need a vet?????

KO: she taking care of your broken puppy paw? 

Press: WHY DO YOU HAVE A VET????

KO: what did you do? 

Tobin laughs, “Dory?” she questions. 

Lisa lets out a laugh as she shakes her head. “I didn’t think they’d remember that.” 

“HAO, take a pic, will you?” Tobin asks, sliding her phone over to her. “Just of the little guy.” 

Tobin carefully holds the kitten in her hands, stretched out towards HAO. HAO snaps it and hands it back to her. Tobin holds onto the little guy with one hand, holding him to her body while she sends out the pic in the casual team chat. The casual team chat included players not still officially on the team but that the majority of players were still close with. 

Tobin: Hey guys! Meet my new little buddy! 

Both her and HAO’s phones start pinging with texts. 

“Can I turn him over to see his belly?” Tobin asks, looking up at Lisa. 

“Yeah, just watch his left side, don’t squeeze him too much there. That’s where his bruise is.” Lisa advises. 

Tobin carefully turns him over, cradling him in her hands. She pets his soft belly fur and scratches his chin. 

“Dude!” she looks up. “He’s got like, an eagle on his chest!” she exclaims. 

Alex comes around behind her and hands Lisa a plate with silverware, a napkin and another beer. 

“Thanks so much,” she says as she begins to eat. 

Alex steps back towards Tobin, placing her hands on her shoulders, massaging them gently. “He’s so cute,” she says looking down at him. 

“It looks like the bird on the Polish flag, don’t you think?” she asks. Looking up at her. 

“Yeah, I can see it a little,” she admits. 

“HAO, do you remember my uncle with the mustache?” Tobin asks. 

She scrunches up her face as she tries to remember, then her eyes grow big and a grin spreads across her face. “The one who always wore the Lato jersey?” 

Tobin smiles wide, her eyes dancing in joy. “Yep.”

“It’s perfect.” HAO says, nodding. 

Tobin carefully turns the kitten over and brings him to her face. “Alright little guy,” she says, “You finally have a name.” she kisses his head. She glances at everyone around the table. 

“Guys, I’d like you all to meet Stosh.” She says, beaming with pride.


	17. Stosh, Name Games & a Doctor Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin deals with the team's suggestions for names, her and HAO go to her Doctor's appointment and Tobin gets a surprise there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more cat cuteness.

Tobin explained how her Mom’s Uncle Stanley was a soccer fanatic but his love for the 1970’s Polish National Team was his passion. Her Mom’s side was Polish and he had come to America in the 1980’s, never letting his love of his favorite team die. 

It was always a treat to Tobin when he came to visit. They would kick a ball back and forth to each other for hours with him telling her soccer stories from long ago. He was so proud of her and always wore his jersey to represent his team at her matches. They talked about the Olympics, with him telling her about how he attended the games in Munich, how amazing they were and the dreadful act of terrorism that occurred with the Israeli team. 

He told her stories about going to the World Cup in 1974 and again in 1978. With great conviction he told her how one day she would play for the World Cup. He came to many of Tobin’s games and was still alive when Tobin won her first Olympic Gold medal. 

The last time Tobin saw him, she had let him wear her Gold Medal around his neck as she told him about her experience. By then he was getting pretty sick and he died not long after. But in that conversation, he told her how she would not only win a World Cup, after tasting defeat in 2011, but she would score a goal. Tobin had chalked it up to his sentimentality but she nearly lost her shit when she actually scored in the final a few years later. 

 

They helped Lisa pack her stuff up, with Lisa leaving instructions for Stosh’s care and telling Tobin about different things to look for. She had a printed out guide to leave her with common questions about his care. She offered to come back in two days to check his bandages and see how things were going. Lisa had given her number to Tobin, who in turn texted it to KO and Press so they could reconnect. 

After she left, Tobin had grabbed HAO and were in the guest room with HAO on a kitchen chair finding a box on the shelf in the closet. When they came out, HAO opened the box and pulled a slightly faded red jersey from it. Alex was sitting at the table, holding Stosh. 

The three arranged the jersey on top of a pillow and Alex gently placed Stosh on it just below the name and next to the number. Tobin took numerous phots from different angles until she found one she liked. 

Alex decided it was time to call it a night and bid farewell to Heather. Tobin escorted her to the door, giving her a few kisses that left them both a little breathless. 

“Thank you for tonight,” Tobin murmured into her ear. “I really like having you here,” 

“I like being here,” Alex replies, rubbing Tobin’s back, “especially right here,” 

Tobin hums in response. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Alex says as she opens the door. 

Tobin leans in for one last kiss, “Goodnight Lex, text me when you get home, okay?” 

“Will do, later babe.” 

When Tobin comes back to the living room HAO is curled in the corner of the couch on her phone. Stosh is curled on her lap with a small towel Lisa left. She’s laughing. 

“Dude,” she says with a grin, “they’re all making name suggestions and it’s hilarious.” 

Tobin sits down and opens the thread to see what’s happening. 

She enters in a few comments in her defense. 

Tobin: no, I am not naming him Plant.

Tobin: nor Tripod. 

Tobin: no to Hat Trick 

Tobin: No to Cyclops, Kelley! 

Tobin: His name is Stosh. 

She adds another photo of him. 

She pulls up her family group and uploads the photo she likes of Stosh on the jersey. 

Tobin: hey everyone, meet my new little boy. His name is Stosh! 

Perry: OMG he’s the cutest! What happened to him? 

Katie: After Uncle Stosh? So cute! 

Mom: he’s adorable! Is he missing an eye? 

Tobin writes out a brief narrative of how she came to know Stosh. 

Perry: You’re going to be a great Mom. 

Jeff: you got a cat? 

Tobin: well yeah, that’s not a lizard, so….

Mom: what a fitting name. so cute!

Katie: I’m tearing up he’s so cute! That mustache! 

Jeff: don’t forget to water it

Tobin: you ass! 

Mom: language! 

Jeff: LOL Tobin’s in trouble! 

Mom: Jeffrey! 

Katie: LOL 

Perry: LOL 

Tobin: LOL 

She’s smiling as she puts her phone down and takes her meds. Stosh should be getting hungry again soon and they can both sleep for a bit before the next feeding. She gets up and heads to her room to do her nightly routine and get into sleepwear. 

When she returns HAO has a low box set up with a bath towel and the small towel in it on the couch. Stosh is pawing around beginning to fuss. 

“This guy is so cute, Tobs,” HAO says as she lifts him up to hand over to her so she can feed him. 

“Yeah,” she says as she gently brings the bottle to him. “he really is. I just hope he gets better soon.” 

“Well, you’ll have to push each other to do your rehab,” HAO smirks. 

“You’re such an ass,” Tobin grins. “You’re right, but you’re an ass.” 

“At least he takes the bottle good, he’s not shy about that.” She comments. 

“Yeah, I wonder if he was wild or just an unwanted litter or what.” Tobin says. Stosh is finished eating and Tobin lets him snuggle on her chest. She’s slouched down on her couch, feet up on the coffee table. HAO had already brought out the roll of paper towels and a damp one was on the table as well. 

“So you have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning, right?” HAO asks. 

“Yeah, at Providence Park. I think it’s at ten.” She replies. “I hope to get my cast on, this boot is getting uncomfortable.” 

“How are your ribs feeling?” HAO asks, she knows that pain having bruised hers as well. 

“They hurt when I move,” Tobin answers. “I can’t touch my toes yet.” That was a general rule of thumb, if you could touch your toes, you could get back out on the field. 

“I just hate having to take painkillers,” Tobin confesses, “it makes me nervous for when it’s time to stop.” 

“Well, let’s talk to the doc about it tomorrow,” HAO suggests, “you don’t want to start down the Wambach Road.” 

“No,” Tobin shakes her head, “I don’t.” 

The two of them had witnessed many other players on past teams that traveled down the path that led to abuse and addiction. Tobin would rather suffer in pain than take too many medications. There have been many days she’s had after rough games where she feels like she’s been hit by a truck but she would get massages, relax in the pool and take ice baths before reaching for a pill. She’s been tremendously lucky in her career to not have had too many serious injuries. Other than her ankle and breaking her nose, she counts herself as being very lucky. 

“Dude, I think I’m going to call it a night,” Tobin states, she feels herself getting drowsy. “You can watch TV or whatever, I’ll be passing out soon,” 

“Yeah, your eyes are getting glassy,” HAO comments, “why don’t you put Stosh back in the box next to you,” she suggests as she grabs the remote.

“You get me if you need help with him during the night, alright?” HAO advises. 

“Yeah, I will.” Tobin says as she adjusts the oxygen line under her nose. “Goodnight.” She says. “Thanks for coming dude, it means a lot.” 

“Any time, Tobs, any time.” HAO says softly as Tobin shuts her eyes. 

 

Stosh had awoken Tobin four times during the night, the last one was just for cuddles. Tobin groggily picked him up and clutched him to her chest for a bit then decided to change her position. She put him back down in the box, ignoring his cries for attention and put the box on the coffee table. She moved some pillows to the far side, left a couple where they were and then slide over. She picked him up and stilled his cries and laid back stretched across the couch with her head and foot elevated. This made her aching back feel so much better. She laid him on her chest, stroking his soft fur with two fingers as they both fell back asleep. 

This is how HAO found them in the morning, grabbing her phone to snap some photos and add them to team thread. She let Tobin sleep as she made some coffee and rooted around for some breakfast. She looked at the list and pulled out Tobin’s breakfast drink and placed it on the counter.

When Tobin awoke, she could hear the TV on quietly as she shifted a little. She felt the soft fur nuzzling her neck. He must have creeped up there during the night she figures. She opens her eyes, blinking rapidly trying to remember why she’s in a different position from how she started last night. 

“Morning,” HAO says quietly. She’s seen Tobin moving around and figures she was up. 

“Hey,” Tobin’s voice is gravelly and her mouth is dry. She scoots up slowly, not wanting to dislodge Stosh. He’s sleeping soundly, she can hear his little snores in her ear. 

“How was your night?” HAO inquires. 

“Okay, we were up like four times,” she replies sleepily. “The last time he just wanted snuggles.” 

HAO laughs, “Oh, you are so hooked, man!” she says. “He’s got you wrapped around his finger already.” 

Tobin laughs with her. “He does.” She says as she gets a hold of him so she can sit up. “And I kind of love it.” 

HAO smiles at her. “That’s pretty awesome,” she comments. 

HAO makes her the breakfast drink and brings it to her while she sits with Stosh in her lap. Soon they get ready to leave for Providence Park, Tobin deciding that she wants to take Stosh to show him off. They’ve both been fed, have done their bathroom duty and will be good to go for a couple of hours. HAO just shakes her head and asks if she wants the carrier. 

Tobin’s eyes light up and she crutches to her room coming back with her black hoodie on backwards. 

“Dude, those must be awesome drugs,” HAO laughs at her. 

“Dude, here’s how I can carry him,” she says as she puts him inside her hood. She only has to look down to see him. 

“I think they make hoodies just for cats like that,” HAO comments as she gets Tobin’s keys and they head for the door. 

“I’ll have to look,” Tobin nods. 

They get to the park early and don’t see anyone in the hallways as they make their way to the training room. Just as they turn the corner to enter, they hear someone calling. 

“Tobin!” a woman’s voice rings out. 

They stop and turn to see Christine Sinclair jogging towards them. 

“Hey Sinc!” Tobin exclaims, stretching her arms out for a hug. Christine wraps her up loosely in her arms, swaying slightly. “I’m so happy to see you!” she exclaims. They break   
apart, and she turns. 

“HAO!” she exclaims loudly. “How you doing buddy?” 

“Hey it’s great to see you!” HAO says as they hug. 

“You here to see Doc Bre?” Sinc questions. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, “Hoping to get casted today.” 

“Well, come on, let’s not keep her waiting,” Sinc grins, as they walk together nearing the door. She opens it and stands aside to they can enter. 

A chorus of yells greet them as they come in. Tobin enters the room and sees Kling, Sonnet, Menges and Mana sitting around the room. They all converge on her and HAO as they enter. They convince Tobin to sit down and she carefully presents Stosh for them to meet. They fuss and coo over his cuteness as they listen to Tobin tell her tale of how they met.   
She tells them a little bit of what happened out in the woods, how she was clueless to Mara and Liz’s motives and how shocked she was by their anger towards her. She surprises herself by easily she can talk about it, she doesn’t feel stupid and she only sees compassion in her teammates eyes, not judging. 

Dr. Bre walks in as she’s finishing her story, Stosh in her arms, nuzzling into her elbow. 

“Who’s this?” she questions as she approaches. 

“This is my new buddy, Stosh.” Tobin says proudly, smiling broadly as she hands him over to her. 

“Oh, he’s a cutie!” she exclaims. “Look at that face!” she examines him, “I love his markings, that mustache! Oh, he’s a heartbreaker, Tobin.” She hands him back and she slips him into her hood. 

“Let’s go look at that leg,” she says and Tobin grabs her crutches and follows her. 

The exam is short, Dr. Bre deciding to wait until the following Monday to cast her leg. She removes the stitches but doesn’t feel comfortable with her still having a wound even though it is healing nicely. Tobin is disappointed but she understands, she doesn’t want to deal with any possible infection scenarios. HAO joins them to listen. They talk about her medications and how Tobin doesn’t like being so drowsy. Dr. Bre explains that she wants Tobin to keep taking them until Monday. They can reduce the medication then. She’s gone through her steroid prescription and the swelling is almost completely gone. She wants Tobin to remain as absolutely low key as possible, for her jaw, leg and ribs. Not to do too much, no going out and crutching all over the place. She wants her to get as much sleep as possible. Tobin asks her about sleeping on the couch and demonstrates the positions, wanting to know if she can change because her back and shoulders are getting sore and tight. 

Dr. Bre compromises and says Tobin can nap across the couch like she showed her, but she still wants her sleeping elevated on her couch or in her recliner. Tobin still can be susceptible to getting pneumonia, so she wants her to stay elevated as much as possible. With the amounts of bruising she has, she’s also concerned about blood clots and wants her to remain as inactive as possible until she’s run through her prescription of blood thinners. She also wants her to use the oxygen for naps as well. 

“Let me put it this way, Tobin.” Dr. Bre says, “When Stosh naps, you nap, okay? Your body is still recovering from the trauma and right now you can’t push yourself. At all. Total rest.” 

“Okay,” Tobin nods with a sigh. 

“I know you like to be busy, but you just can’t. Not yet. Your body has to heal. I’m looking long term here.” She responds kindly. 

“I know,” Tobin says quietly. “It’s just hard.” 

Dr. Bre nods. “And as for your concerns about the addictive nature of the Percocet, I’ll change the meds to something different, don’t worry. I appreciate your honesty about your concerns. We have your best interests in mind. The jaw is one of the worst bones to break, it takes the longest to heal and can be the most painful. If I was to step down your meds now, you’d be in so much more pain than you realize. We’ll reevaluate next week.” 

“Okay Doc, fair enough,” Tobin says as she gathers her crutches. “Thanks, I’ll see you Monday, then, right?” 

“Yes, here at ten.” She smiles. “Take care of that cutie pie!” 

They leave and head out, her teammates gone. 

“So,” HAO says as they walk to the car, “I might have invited those guys over Friday night for dinner.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Tobin asks. “Awesome, that’s cool.” 

“Yeah, I told them it’d be an early evening, nothing rowdy, clear out by nine.” HAO states. 

“Looking forward to it,” Tobin says as she crutches along. She’s getting tired and her ribs are getting sore from the crutching. This is what Doc was talking about. She’ll be due for her meds when she gets home. She figures Stosh will want to eat and then they can nap. 

 

“Ah,” Tobin says as she leans back across the couch. She’s had her meds, Stosh has been fed, he pooped and peed, she had a quick smoothie and now she’s ready to nap. Alex is coming over for dinner, her and HAO had discussed the menu and HAO is going to make her a chicken fried wild rice dish. It’s really good if Tobin remembers correctly. Alex was interested in how she made it so they agreed to make it together. 

Tobin smiles thinking about how Alex just fits easily into her life, it’s like they just mesh. She closes her eyes, fingers on Stosh as she drifts off.


	18. Snuggling With Not Is Not Like The Romance Novels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAO has a family emergency and has to leave unexpectedly leaving Alex to take the reigns of Tobin's care. Will they sink or swim?

“We have to call Perry, she’s got this all set up.” HAO says quietly. 

Alex nods, “Okay, but I can cover. It’s fine.” Alex replies. 

“Hey Perry, how’s it going?” HAO asks. 

“Yeah, it’s fine but I have a little problem. Dave’s Mom was just rushed to the hospital. I have to get back.” HAO replies. She listens. “No, they’re not sure what’s going on yet.” 

“Yeah, we leave next week.” 

“Alex says she can cover.” HAO nods as she listens. “Yeah, she’s right here.” She hands the phone to Perry. 

“Hi Perry!” Alex greets. 

“Yeah, they like us to take time off this time of year. It’s not as busy.” Alex replies. She listens to Perry.

“No, it’s no problem.” Alex says. “If she’s cool with it, I am too.” 

“No, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to. It’s fine.” She says, rolling her eyes at HAO. “Yes, until Monday night. No problem.” She hands the phone to HAO. 

“Hey,” HAO says. She listens. “Yeah, she knows more than I do.” 

“Okay, good.” She smiles. “Talk to you later.” She listens. “I will.” She hangs up and looks at Alex. 

“Thank you so much for doing this.” HAO says sincerely. “I really feel terrible about leaving,” 

“You can’t help it, these things happen.” Alex replies. “You think Tobin would be okay with it?” she asks, suddenly nervous. She’s just jumping in, offering to take care of her without even asking how she feels about it. 

“Are you kidding?” HAO asks, looking surprised. “She’s crazy about you, of course she’ll be fine with it. She gets so excited when you’re coming over.” 

“I just don’t want to seem like I’m smothering her or anything.” Alex says, still unconvinced. 

“Dude, I totally think she wants you to smother her,” HAO smirks, waggling her eyebrows. 

“I’m not talking about that,” Alex says with her hands on hips. “I just feel like after what happened she probably has some trust issues. Like she’s known you’ve forever, me, not so much.” 

“Yeah, sure,” HAO laughs. Then she realizes how serious and nervous Alex is. “Alright, how about this: when she wakes up, I’ll tell her what’s going on and then leave you two alone and you can talk to her. If you’re not convinced she’s fine with it, then we’ll call Perry back and make a new plan.” 

“Alright,” Alex replies, relaxing a bit, “I just,” she starts, looking at Heather, “I just really like her and I don’t want to fuck this up.” 

HAO wraps in her in a hug, “I’ve only known you for a short time, but from what I see, I like and from others I really like. What I hear from Tobin, I love. You’re a good person Alex, and the impression I get is that everyone who’s met you is pulling for you and Tobin. You’re good for each other.” 

“Thanks,” she says as they pull back, then it hits her. “Wait, like others, meaning Perry and her family? You guys talk about me?” 

“Alex,” HAO says kindly, “since this happened to Tobin, her family and friends have circled the wagons, you know? Tobin knows a lot of people from all walks of life and some are questionable, but she’s so kind to them and sometimes misses what might give you and I red flags. So yeah, you’ve been discussed a bit. It only took a day knowing you to know that you’re in the circle. Hell, sometimes I think between you and Perry, you’re both the wagon masters!”

HAO looks at Alex, who has a thoughtful look on her face. 

“What I’m trying to say is that even though you’re new to the scene, you’ve been accepted by everyone you’ve met through Tobin. We’ve all seen how you are to each other and like it and really think you’d be good for each other, kid.” 

“Okay,” Alex says slowly. “Alright then.” She nods her head. 

 

 

“But did HAO tell you what the Doctor said about my meds and not doing anything?” Tobin asks. They’re alone in the living room sitting on the couch. HAO explained what happened and now Tobin and Alex are talking. She’s in the guest room booking her flight. “I mean, I’m not going to be any fun,” she says slowly. 

“We’ll make our own fun,” Alex says, “I’d like to do this but only if you’re fine with it. If it’s too much” 

“I didn’t say that,” Tobin cuts in, “I just don’t want to be a drag. Sleeping and drooling, we can’t really go out or anything.” 

Alex looks at Tobin, eyes scanning her face. She decides to go for it. “What if I said I like taking care of you? I like to help you, it comes naturally to me, I enjoy your company and I just like being around you. Even though you’re injured, it hasn’t changed who you are. You’re just limited to what you can do.” She drops her head, “Maybe I like not being alone.” 

“I like not being alone with you.” Tobin says softly, reaching out and lifting Alex’s chin with two fingers. “I like it so much it scares me a little.” She smiles sweetly. She takes a nervous breath, letting it out a little shakily. “So, um, what do you say we, uh, be alone together for a few days?” 

“Okay,” Alex smiles and leans in to kiss her. It’s a soft, sweet kiss that’s full of promise of what’s to come. 

“Okay,” Tobin smiles back. 

They sit there, smiling at each other, excited at the prospect of some real alone time with each other. Their grins keep getting bigger and Alex is blushing and just about to look away when Stosh pops his head out of Tobin’s hood and starts crying. 

“Oh, hey buddy, what’s wrong?” Tobin coos, lifting him gently and holding him to her chest, stroking his adorably soft fur. Stosh begins kneading Tobin’s chest with his paws and sucking on her knuckle. 

“I think he’s hungry, huh?” Alex says as she gets up and grabs a fresh can of formula, she quickly prepares it and hands the bottle to Tobin. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says, looking at Alex and letting her fingers linger before taking the bottle to feed Stosh. She focuses on Stosh momentarily, making sure he’s latched on to the bottle before looking back up atAlex smiling. Alex sits next to Tobin, placing her hand on her back, softly trailing her fingers up and down as they watch Stosh eat. 

“Isn’t he like a little angel?” Tobin comments, her smile evident in her voice. 

“He’s really cute,” Alex says, “I don’t know about the angel part yet,” she laughs. “You’re going to have to baby proof your house soon.” 

Stosh is finished with his bottle, mewing with a tone of contentment and attention seeking. Tobin lifts him to her face, nuzzling him and placing a kiss on his head. “He’s my little angel,” she grins. 

 

 

“He’s a monster!” Tobin sleepily whines the next morning when Alex asks her how her night was. Last night she had run home to pack a bag to stay for a few days. HAO ended up finding a red-eye to get her back to the other coast and left around ten last night.

Tobin had waited up, fighting sleep to say goodbye to her friend and then settled herself on the couch. She had insisted Alex sleep in her room since she wanted to wash the sheets in the guest room. Alex offered to sleep on her recliner but Tobin was determined. She didn’t want Alex to have an uncomfortable night by sleeping there. 

Alex lets out a musical laugh that makes Tobin smile as she bends in to give her a good morning kiss. “I thought he was your little angel?” Alex questions playfully. 

 

Tobin rolls her eyes, “He was up all night,” she whines. “He, like, ate everything. Then he wanted to play.” 

“Well,” Alex says, as she sits down next to her, “he’s your growing boy.” She smiles at Tobin, reaching over to gently wipe the drool from Tobin’s face with the end of her long-sleeved shirt. 

“Oh, ew,” Tobin says as she wipes it again with her hand, “sorry,” 

“You have nothing to be sorry about, okay?” Alex says sweetly, “I got your back.” She leans forward and gives her another kiss. 

“I’ve got dragon breath,” Tobin mutters, feeling self-conscious.

“I don’t care,” Alex smiles and gives her another kiss before getting up from the couch. She glances at Tobin as she goes and see she has a stupid little grin on her face and her eyes on her ass. 

Tobin slowly puts Stosh in his little box and gets up from the couch. She stretches noticing she can bring her left arm up higher than before. Her ribs are feeling good this morning, her jaw pain has receded to a low, tolerable level. She crutches over to the kitchen, and sidles up next to Alex. 

“Whatcha making?” she asks as Alex is whipping some eggs. 

“Just a quick omelette,” Alex answers, “I want to use up some of the leftover veggies before they go bad,” 

Tobin nods and moves to the coffee maker. “You want a cup?” she offers. 

“Sure, thanks,” Alex smiles. 

Tobin makes her a cup and then makes herself a cup of tea, adding a couple of ice cubes to cool it down. She can now drink warm and cool items, her sensitivity to hot and cold lessening. 

“What’s the agenda for today?” Alex inquires. 

“Lisa is stopping over around one, that’s it.” Tobin shrugs. “I was thinking of maybe going to a pet shop to get a few things for the little guy.” 

“Well, let’s see what Lisa can suggest before we go?” Alex asks, looking up at her from the stove. 

“Yeah, I think we need more formula,” Tobin replies, “and I wonder if he can start playing with toys and stuff.” She sips her tea, “Oh, that’s so good,” she hums. 

Alex brings her coffee and plate to the table and sits next to Tobin. “How’s your back feel?” 

“It’s still tight but not bad, I’m sure it will feel better once I nap, I’m excited to lay across the couch.” She replies. 

“Maybe I’ll nap with you,” Alex murmurs, an idea popping into her head. 

“Did you not sleep well?” Tobin looks at her, concerned. 

“Oh, no, I did,” Alex shakes her head and then gives her a playful smile, “Maybe I just want to snuggle with you and Stosh.” She, in fact, had a great night’s sleep in Tobin’s bed. 

“Oh,” Tobin says, “oh, yeah, okay, I would love to snuggle with you,” she grins. God, I’m so awkward with her, she thinks. 

God, she is so cute, Alex thinks. 

“Well, you need to eat,” Alex says pointing her fork at Tobin, “and he needs to eat,” pointing her fork towards the couch, “and then we can snuggle.” 

Tobin grabs her crutches, “On it,” she declares as she moves to make her morning drink. 

Alex quickly cleans up the kitchen while Tobin heads to her room to use the bathroom and brush her teeth. When she comes out, Alex is holding Stosh as he’s nuzzling into her and mewing. 

“He’s hungry,” she announces. 

Tobin nods and prepares the formula. She shoves the warm bottle into her waistband and crutches over to the couch. 

“Can I feed him?” Alex asks shyly. 

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin replies, smiling as she hands over the bottle. 

“Just hold it like this?” she asks, unsure. 

“Like this,” Tobin says as she holds Alex’s hand in hers as Stosh hungrily takes the bottle. They look at each other, small smiles on their faces. Their interrupted by Stosh shuddering and squirming in Alex’s hand. He whines and starts grunting. 

“I think he’s ready to poop,” Tobin observes. 

“Do I need to wipe him?” Alex asks as she moves him to the paper towels. 

“Let’s see what he does,” Tobin suggests. 

They watch as he circles around, pawing at the towels and then pees. He does the same and poops as well. 

“I think you need that litter box now,” Alex comments. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “he’s growing so fast!” she says tearfully, completely joking. 

Alex hits her arm, “Goofball!” she laughs. 

Stosh walks around on the coffee table, exploring a little, yet still within easy reach. He whines and sits awkwardly, his eyes open wide. 

 

“What’s up bud,” Tobin asks. 

“Oh, aren’t his eyes beautiful?” Alex gushes, looking at Stosh’s blue eyes. 

“Not as beautiful as yours,” Tobin says, smiling at her. 

“Oh stop,” Alex says playfully. 

Stosh whines in reply taking small sluggish steps towards her. 

Tobin picks him up, “I’m not positive, but I think that’s his sleepytime whine,” she says. 

“Well, then we should nap a little,” Alex says getting up. “You need to take your meds, yes?” 

“I can get them,” Tobin replies, “you want to hold him?” 

“Oh, of course!” Alex smiles as she takes the tiny bundle from her hands. 

Tobin crutches over, smiling as she watches Alex with Stosh and takes her medications, finishing with a quick shot of her mouthwash and taking a long drink of water. 

She comes back to the couch and Alex hands Stosh over to her and she begins to move the pillows around. “I had an idea to try,” she says. “If it doesn’t hurt your ribs, maybe you’d like to snuggle on me?” 

Tobin arches an eyebrow at her. “Uh, I’m willing to try anything with you,” she answers mischievously. 

“Oh, stop, horndog,” Alex smirks, “not in front of the kid,” she gestures to Stosh. 

Tobin giggles and breaks into a smile. 

They get situated on the couch with Alex lying on the pillows to elevate herself and Tobin on top of her, clutching onto Stosh. It takes Tobin a few minutes to get comfortable, with getting the oxygen line untangled and Alex placing a third pillow towards the back of the couch underneath her ribs. They drape the blanket over themselves.

Alex brings her arms around Tobin, one hand lightly on her stomach, her right settled on her chest near her sternum. “Feel okay?” she asks her quietly. 

“Uhuh,” is the sleepy response as Tobin nuzzles her head into Alex’s neck. Stosh is right there as well, lying on his side with his good paw resting on Tobin’s jaw. Alex feels Tobin moves her left hand onto hers, rubbing light circles on the back of it. She smiles and places a kiss on Tobin’s head. After a couple of minutes, she can feel Tobin’s body relaxing on hers and Tobin moves her hand to lightly grip her own. They all fall asleep quickly, warm and snuggled into each other.

 

 

Alex wakes to being hot and sweaty with dead weight on her chest and the front of her t-shirt wet. She opens her eyes and sees Tobin in the same position, drooling on Alex’s chest, still holding her hand loosely and Stosh cuddled under her jaw, flat on his back, making the cutest little snoring noises. She smiles broadly at this, thinking how this is not how the romance novels portrays snuggling in the couch. She slowly removes her hand from Tobin’s chest and wipes the sweat from her forehead. 

I’m, like, seriously hot here, she thinks, and I’ve got to pee. She looks at the DVD player and sees it’s ten thirty. I’d like to shower before Lisa gets here, I wonder if I can get up without waking her. They’re a tangle of legs and Alex slowly tries to move hers out from underneath Tobin. She shifts her hips and hears Tobin let out whimper, she cranes her neck to see her face, hoping she hasn’t hurt her. 

Tobin is scowling in her sleep, her brow furrowed deep, lips tight, breathing through her nose. Her breath is picking up and her legs start moving, the boot digging in to Alex’s ankle. Alex flinches from the pain and knees Tobin’s hip. That’s when Alex realizes she’s all sweaty because Tobin has sweated through her shirt. She’s soaked. 

“Uhm,” Tobin mumbles a string of undecipherable words. 

“Tobin,” Alex says quietly in her ear, “Tobin wake up.” 

Tobin lets loose with another sentence she can’t understand except for clearly hearing her say ‘make shelter.’ 

Alex freezes for a moment, wondering if Tobin’s dreaming of her attack. Tobin let’s out a cry and her right hand shoots to her ribs, body flinching. 

“Stop,” she slurs, her voice tinged with panic. 

“Tobin,” Alex says louder, “c’mon babe, wake up.” She runs her hand along Tobin’s sweaty arm. 

“I don’t wanna die,” Tobin cries, her chest beginning to heave with sobs. 

“Tobin!” Alex says loudly, shaking her shoulder. She lifts Stosh off Tobin’s shoulder, whining from the loss of warmth, and stretches out to place him in his box. She’s nearly half out from under Tobin, so she grabs the couch with her left hand, places her right hand on the floor and slowly slides out, hitting her head on the coffee table in the process. She has to unwind her arm from the oxygen line making her land awkwardly on her ass, left leg smacking Tobin’s right shoulder making her flinch and cry out again. 

She scrambles to her knees, bending over Tobin and runs her hand through Tobin’s sweaty hair. “Tobin!” she says loudly, finally seeing movement under her eyes and then Tobin groggily looks at her with a tearstained face. 

“L-L-Lex,” she breathes out unevenly, “they, they came b-b-b-back, they, they, they hurt you,” 

“Sshh,” Alex comforts, placing a hand gently on Tobin’s neck curling her fingers behind her ear. “We’re okay, babe, we’re okay, it was just a dream,” 

“They, they, they stab, stab, stabbed you and I, I, I didn’t know w-w-w-wh-wh-what to do!” Tobin sobs, bringing her hands to her face. Alex pulls her up and holds her close. 

“It, it, it was so, r-r-r-real,” Tobin wheezes, her breathes coming short and sounding like she’s beginning to hyperventilate. 

“Just a dream, it was just a dream, babe,” Alex says soothingly as she rubs her back. Tobin’s still sobbing, clutching on to the front of Alex’s shirt. 

“Just calm down, let’s slow the breathing,” Alex says softly, breathing deeply and slowly helping Tobin calm down. Alex repeats this mantra as she continues to hold her. 

It takes almost ten minutes before Tobin gains any sense of composure. 

“I’ll be right back okay?” Alex says as she leaves the couch and goes to the bathroom. She come back quickly with a damp washcloth, takes out the line from under her nose and carefully begins to wipe Tobin’s face. As she cleans up the tears, snot and drool, she can see Tobin is still concentrating on breathing evenly, her eyes down. 

Alex places the washcloth at the base of Tobin’s neck and gently lifts her chin so she looks at her. She looks exhausted, Alex can see the area beneath her eyes darkening from lack of sleep. Her face is pale with bright red color on her cheeks from being overheated. 

“Better?” she asks her sweetly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin answers with a sniffle, “thanks.” 

“Okay,” Alex says as she takes one of her hands and holds it. 

Tobin brings her other hand up to run through her hair. She glances around, suddenly alarmed. “Where’s Stosh?” 

“He’s sleeping in his box, he’s fine.” Alex replies, her voice soft. 

Tobin brings her hand to her chest, “Okay,” she says, nodding. 

They sit for a moment looking at each other until Tobin leans in and gives her a soft kiss. “Thank you,” she says, her voice low and raspy. She still looks exhausted and maybe in some pain as well. Alex smiles and nods and returns the kiss. 

“You’re welcome, babe,” she says quietly.

Alex changes her position and sits on the end of the coffee table, still holding Tobin’s hand. 

“Can I make a suggestion?” Alex asks. 

“Sure,” Tobin replies. 

“How about we get you in the shower and then back on the couch,” Alex suggestions, “Maybe you could chill for a little,” 

Tobin lets out a sigh, “Honestly, I don’t think I can get off the couch,” she says so quietly, it’s almost a whisper, her tone, defeated. 

“Okay,” Alex nods, “we’ll go to Plan B.” she says as she gets up. “Just stay put, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, drawing out the word and sliding slowly back onto the pillows.

She returns shortly with a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, another washcloth and a hand towel. “Let’s just have you wipe yourself off and get into another set of clothes, alright?”

“Okay,” Tobin says as she struggles to get up. Alex hooks an arm under hers and helps pull her into the sitting position. Tobin slides her legs over the end of the couch and leans forward to slowly pull off her shirt. Alex sets down the clothes and hand towel, handing her the wash cloth. Giving her some privacy, Alex takes the pillows and heads out of the room. 

She returns shortly with three pillows from the guest room and sets them down just as Tobin is putting on her shorts. 

“Feel better?” she asks her. 

“Yeah, a little,” Tobin replies as she reaches for her water cup. “Thanks,” she says, finally looking her in the eyes. “It was really vivid.” She takes a long drink. 

“I bet,” Alex says sympathetically. She’s had those types of dreams before. 

“I felt so helpless,” she continues. 

“I’m sorry that happened,” Alex says, sitting down next to her and putting her hand on Tobin’s thigh. 

“So am I,” Tobin mumbles, rubbing her eyes with her fingers. “Whew,” she says, breathing out. She leans into Alex, “I’m sorry for this,” she says sleepily. 

“You can’t control your dreams, babe, don’t worry about it.” Alex says rubbing her hand on her thigh. “Do you have them a lot?” she asks. 

Tobin nods, “Almost every night lately,” she says miserably. “It’s always something different about the two of them.”

“Have you worked on your sketchbook or in your journal lately?” Alex inquires. 

“No, I haven’t,” Tobin looks at her. 

“Maybe that will help,” Alex shrugs. 

“Huh,” Tobin says, “Yeah, maybe,” she agrees. 

“Okay, so, how about we talk about your questions for Lisa when she comes over?” Alex asks as she grabs her phone, opening the notes. 

“Well,” Tobin says slowly, “does he need the litter box, how much of the bottle should I give him? He just wants to keep eating. When can we start playing, what can he play with, is there any therapy I can help him with, uh, can he start a little soft food,” 

“Okay,” Alex nods. “Is that it?” 

“Yeah, off the top of my head,” Tobin replies. “Why?” 

“I don’t want to overstep, babe, but you look exhausted. I think part of it was from your dream but also from being up with him so much last night.” Alex explains. “So, you’re due for a smoothie and your meds soon and I want you to take them and go back to sleep. I’ll take care of Stosh and Lisa if you’re not awake.” 

“I don’t want to be asleep for Lisa,” Tobin says shifting on the couch, “I mean, she’s coming by to help me out with him, I’d hate to miss it or cancel.” 

“I can wake you, that’s fine, but if she took one look at you right now, she’d let you sleep,” Alex replies. “She's a medical person, babe, you really don’t look well right now.” 

Tobin looks down, thinking for a minute. She looks back up at Alex, “Will you try to wake me, maybe, and if I don’t get up that’s fine?” she asks. 

“Of course,” Alex says and gives her a kiss. “Can I make you a smoothie? And then you can take your meds?” 

“Maybe just a little one?” Tobin replies, “I’m not really hungry, my stomach is a little jumpy,” 

“Okay,” Alex says and leaves her seat. As she prepares the smoothie, Alex watches as Tobin struggles to leave the couch, gaining her balance and slowly crutching to her bedroom. 

She resists the urge to follow her and make sure she’s alright, instead getting the meds out and carefully measuring them out in the little plastic cups for her. She's just setting her water cup and mouthwash on the island counter when she reappears, head down, slowly crutching towards her. 

Tobin wordlessly sips her smoothie while standing, leaning on her crutches. Alex just stands next to her and rubs her back. “How do your ribs feel?” She asks her quietly. 

“Actually, pretty good,” Tobin replies. “They don’t hurt as much as I thought.” 

“That’s great,” Alex smiles, bumping her hip. “You know, you did a lot of heavy breathing back there,” she says wiggling her eyebrows. 

It takes Tobin a moment to register what Alex is referring to and when she does, her head shoots up. “Yeah, I did,” she grins. 

“Progress, babe,” Alex says and swats her butt. “Progress.” 

Tobin laughs as she reaches for her first med cup, “You’re too much,” she laughs. When she finishes with her meds and mouth rinse, she sets her crutches against the counter and takes Alex in her arms, squeezing her in a hug. “Thank you so much for being here.” She whispers against her ear, sending shivers down Alex’s spine. “I really appreciate you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Alex whispers back to her. “Come on, let’s get you set up.” She says and Tobin crutches towards the couch, she confuses Alex when she pivots and turns to the hallway. Alex watches as she adjusts the thermostat. 

“I’m going to cool it down in here a little, if you mind,” Tobin explains as she crutches to the couch. “Got to get this place down to the optimal snuggle temperature for later.” 

Alex grabs both of her hand as Tobin stands in front of the couch. “Good, because I need more snuggling with you today,” she grins. 

Tobin sits down and swivels her legs on the couch, Alex drawing the light blanket over her. “You good?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, her voice dropping as the exhaustion hits her again. She lifts her head up to look in the box. 

“I’ll take care of him, make sure he stays warm,” Alex says, gesturing to Stosh. 

Tobin nods at her, eyes closed already. Alex lifts Stosh up, hearing him whimper a little, and watches as Tobin falls into a deep sleep, head back, mouth slightly tilted to the right. 

Alex sets Stosh down again and untangles the oxygen line, placing it on Tobin. She picks Stosh back up and heads to the guest room. She’s got some things she wants to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed. Sorry, I suck at replying to comments but I find many of them so meaningful and deeply appreciate the encouragement. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	19. Feeling Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Alex shop for Stosh. Stosh gets some gifts, and Tobin is just kid of adorable.

Tobin and Alex are in the hallway with Stosh in Tobin’s hood as they prepare to leave the apartment. Lisa’s visit was quick, Tobin never woke from her nap, even though she had a mumbled, slightly incoherent conversation with Alex about a surfboard. 

Lisa declared Stosh’s wound looked great and he was coming along just fine. After she weighed him she conceded that maybe he was a little older than she thought, closer to four weeks. She confirmed her guess when Alex told her about his little razor teeth and how he was starting to do his business on his own and scratch around after. 

Alex made a list of answers for Tobin’s questions, writing them down carefully and asking follow up questions she thought necessary. Together her and Lisa made a note for the pet shop, Lisa recommending a family owned one not too far away. She said they’d be a great help for any other questions Tobin might have. 

It was nearly three o’clock when Alex heard the thump of Tobin’s crutches coming down the hallway. Alex had stripped the sheets off the guest bed, along with the pillowcases from the morning and threw them in the washer. She had cleaned both the bathrooms, mopped the kitchen floor and used a dry Swiffer for the wood floors in the rest of the apartment.  
She was putting on the fitted sheet of the guest bed when Tobin appeared in the doorway. 

“Babe?” Tobin sleepily questions, looking at her.

“Hey hon, how was your nap?” Alex smiles as she shoves her hand under the mattress to get the corner of the sheet lined up. 

“Good,” Tobin replies with a nod, “what are you doing?” 

“Just putting the sheets back on, I washed them,” Alex explains as she pulls the sheet towards the next corner. Stosh is on the middle of the bed, his good paw darting out to catch a moving wrinkle. 

“Oh, babe, you didn’t have to do” Tobin starts. 

“It’s done and I didn’t mind,” Alex cuts her off as she walks to the doorway and gives her a kiss. 

“Thank you,” Tobin says softly as she kisses her again. “Let me help you finish,” she says and crutches into the room. 

As they work putting the bed back together and laughing over Stosh’s stalking antics, Alex fills Tobin in on Lisa’s visit and her recommendations. Lisa felt Stosh could increase his formula intake and they might start introducing soft foods to him as treats. She felt giving him more food at night might settle him down to sleep longer and give Tobin a break. 

Alex provided minimal help while Tobin showered, hanging out in her bedroom playing with Stosh on the bed, just in case she needed her. Tobin wanted to try and see how well she could manage on her own. It took her longer, but Tobin did well, coming out of the bathroom with a faded soccer t-shirt and her black jogging pants riding low on her hips, damp hair to one side. 

“I just need help with a sock and my shoe and we can go,” Tobin states. “Oh, and I have to get my hat and my hoodie for Stosh.” She smiles. 

Soon they’re in Alex’s Jeep Wrangler, cruising across town to the pet shop. The visit was a great success, Stosh was declared the cutest kitty that’s ever come in their store by the owners, a middle aged couple who were very kind and helpful. They provided a chair for Tobin and brought items to her, explaining the value of the different kinds of litter and choosing organic kitten food for Stosh. 

Alex made two trips out to her vehicle with the supplies as Tobin thanked them profusely for all of their help. As they entered the lobby of Tobin’s building, the desk man caught her eye. 

“Hey, Tobin! How ya feeling?” he asked. 

“Pretty good, Robby, how’s it going?” offering him a fist bump as he came from around the desk. 

“Good dude,” he replied. “Hey, you’ve got a bunch of packages,” he states, eying Alex with her hands full of bags. “Can I bring them up for you?” 

“Oh, yeah, that would be great,” Tobin accepts, nodding her head. 

“Here, I can take these too, it’s no problem,” Robby offers to Alex, reaching towards the bags. 

“Oh, thanks!” she smiles at him handing them over. 

“I’ll put everything on a cart and bring it up in five, okay?” he says as he moves back to the desk. 

“Rad, man, thanks.” Tobin replies as she hits the elevator button. 

 

 

“You have, like, at least a dozen boxes here.” Alex observes as she organizes the boxes on the kitchen table. She peers closer to one of the boxes and giggles. 

“What?” Tobin says as she is inspecting a can of cat food. 

“It’s addressed to Stosh Heath.” Alex giggles again. 

Tobin grins, “Really?” she stacks the cans up. “Wonder what they are,” she murmurs as she moves on to the formula cans. She turns to look at her pantry and then gets up and crutches over to it. She beings moving a few items around and then starts putting the cans in her hood. Stosh is passed out in his box on the couch. 

“I got these,” Alex says as she grabs the other cans and stands next to her, handing them to her as she arranges them on a shelf. 

“Where should I put the litter box?” Tobin wonders aloud as she scans the living room. 

“Well, they said we should keep it close and easy to reach for you.” Alex reminds her. 

“Is it kind of tacky to leave it on the coffee table?” Tobin asks, scrunching her face a little. 

“Not for right now,” Alex offers, “it makes it easy for you and him.” She says. “Just be sure to keep it clean.” 

“Ooh, maybe it will fit underneath and I can just pull it out,” Tobin suggests. 

“That might work,” Alex nods. 

They get all of Stosh’s gear from the pet shop situated and sit at the kitchen table to open the packages. Alex is slitting open the boxes and passing them Tobin. The first one she opens, she lets out a belly laugh. 

“Oh man!” she exclaims. As she pulls out the packing paper. She holds up a tiny Thorns jersey with Heath and her number on the back. 

“Aw!” Alex exclaims at the cuteness. “Who’s it from?” 

“Mark, my coach.” Tobin smiles. 

“Should I get Stosh and we can do a photo shoot?” Alex asks excitedly. 

“Yeah!” Tobin grins as she moves the box aside and spreads the small jersey on the table. 

Alex comes back to the table and gently lays the still sleeping kitty on the jersey. Tobin snaps a photo and opens up her Thorns team text thread. 

Tobin #17: ‘Yo, Coach! This is the bomb! Thanks man!’

The next package is about two dozen of small soft soccer balls and a small two foot wide soccer goal from Kling. Alex and Tobin put them all around Stosh and take a photo. 

Tobin #17: Kling- he might need your help with defending- thanks dude! 

A slim package contains a book from Emily Menges. It’s a book about how to train cats to do tricks. 

They put the book down and Stosh on top. 

Tobin #17: First trick: sleep on book. Thanks Em! Can’t wait to start! 

The next package is a black hoodie with a pouch in front to carry Stosh from Christine. They put the sweatshirt on the table and have Stosh peeking out from the pouch.

Tobin #17: Yo Cap, this is awesome! Thanks so much. 

The small lightweight box Tobin opens has her laughing as soon as she moves the first piece of packaging. She holds up a pirate costume. She digs in the box and finds the little hat to go with it. 

Stosh sleeps through her and Alex putting the oversized costume on and the hat. Alex holds him up so Tobin can snap a photo making sure his bandaged leg is peeking out. 

She opens up her casual National Team thread. 

Tobin: Kelley- really? I don’t even know what to say except how cute is this little guy! We’re set for Halloween! Thanks dude! 

They open up the other gifts and Tobin sends out more texts. 

Tobin: I truly didn’t know they made hammocks for cats! This is awesome! Thanks Harry! 

Tobin #17: Mana, only you would find catnip joints! I’ll have to wait until he’s legal! Thanks bud! 

Tobin: HAO- these bowls and the tray are awesome! Thanks so much dude! 

Tobin: Ash- we’ll totally be trying to CATch some waves! Thanks for the life jacket! 

Tobin: The beach bag with cat stuff is awesome! Thanks so much! 

Tobin #17: Sonnet- you’ll have to teach him how to drop the bass! 

She had gotten him a scratching deck that was a DJ turn table. 

The last box was heavy and on the larger size. They open it together and Tobin gasps. Pictured on the box is a sleek dark wood design cat tower that she knows instantly will look awesome by her patio door. She looks at the paperwork and sees it’s from Christen. 

“Oh wow!” she says softly as they slide it from the shipping box. “This is awesome!”

“It’s really cool,” Alex agrees, “it’ll look great in your living room.” Tobin nods as she looks the box over. Alex feels a twinge of jealously from the sender she doesn’t even know. Sure, her and Tobin have talked about their past relationships and she feels good that they’re on solid ground, but just a tiny speck of jealously has crept in.

Tobin looks up at her, “Christen plays for Chicago and the National Team,” she explains, “Her dogs are awesome and I like to get gifts for her pups at Christmas and send them cool toys I see.” 

“This is very nice of her,” Alex says evenly, hoping her voice doesn’t betray her insecurity at the moment. 

“Yeah, she’s really generous, especially when someone gets a new pet,” Tobin says as she turns the box to look at the side. “She got this cool recycled doghouse thing for Allie when she got Shay and Cass, her puppies.” She looks up at Alex. “Is it too early for Stosh to meet dogs? I want them to be friends.” 

Alex laughs at the look of innocence of Tobin’s face, her thoughts of jealously vanished. 

“What?” 

She moves next to her and gives her a kiss. “Nothing,” she says, stroking the side of Tobin’s face, “you’re just too cute.” She kisses her again. 

Tobin responds by placing her hand at the back of Alex’s neck and her other stroking her hand as they kiss. She pushes her chair from the table and guides Alex onto her lap. With her right hand still at her neck, Tobin moves her left hand to her side, slowly stroking up and down. Alex puts her left hand on Tobin’s back and rests her right just above her sternum. 

Alex feels Tobin’s hand creeping up her side and heading towards her chest. She drops her hand over and lightly covers Tobin’s breast with her own. Tobin lets out a low moan in her mouth which makes her kiss her more passionately. When Alex feels Tobin’s hand cup her breast, she does the same. 

As they’re kissing, all Alex can think about is how turned on she is and Tobin is only kissing her, no tongue, nothing. It’s making her horny and she can feel herself getting wet from her thoughts. 

They both hear Stosh whining angrily from the table, tottering around, apparently starving from the photoshoot he slept through. His whines continue and grow louder and they break away from each other, both panting. 

Tobin’s eyes are dark with lust and Alex knows hers are as well. She leans her forehead gently against Tobin’s, mindful of her fading bruises. “Twatblocked by your kid,” she says softly with a smile. Tobin grins at her and Alex leaves her lap to get the bottle prepared. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman,” Tobin says, looking at her lustfully. She picks up Stosh and Alex can her hear talking to him, “Whatcha doing, bud? Mommy was getting busy.”

Alex laughs and brings her the bottle. “Here or on the couch?” 

“Here’s fine, thanks,” Tobin grins and takes the bottle. Alex rubs Tobin’s shoulder as she feeds him. “I’m going to make a little something to eat. Do you want a smoothie?” 

“I’ll make mine in a little bit, you do yours, okay?” Tobin says. Alex nods and gives her a quick kiss and moves to the kitchen. Her phone goes off and she replies to a text with a smile. 

Tobin’s phone has been blowing up since opening the gifts so she scrolls through it while feeding Stosh. First the Thorns thread. 

Coach: You’re welcome. Bring him by next time you come in- I want to meet him. 

Kling: Welcome- looking up drills for him now. 

MenGES: some of the tricks are hilarious! He seems like a quick learner, don’t know about his teacher. 

Captain Canada: I couldn’t have you walking around with a backwards hoodie. Do you know how many 15 year olds would start doing that just because of you and not even knowing you had Stosh in the hood. Just saving the planet from a bad fashion trend. 

Tobin #17: I promise to learn the tricks first so I can teach him well. 

Tobin #17: Cap- I thank you and the world thanks you. 

Kling: the world definitely thanks you Cap- remember when Tobin wore a sweatshirt half on and the photo got posted? 

Captain Canada: how many girls did we see at PP the next game like that? 

Tobin #17: Uh, I had broken my wrist, yo

Kling: didn’t matter. You’re a trend setter. 

Tobin moves to the National team thread. 

Press: Kelley, did you seriously get a three legged cat a pirates costume? 

KO: RRRRRRRRRR, Yourrrr rrrrrighty, I did, mate! 

Press: Are you drunk? 

KO: nooooo, just having some rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuummmmmmmm!!!!

Bean: what else do you need Tobs? Oh, wait, never mind, Found it! 

Captain America: at least it’s not legos. Thank God you have a cat and not kids. Legos suck. 

JJ: Legos are awesome! 

Captain America: not when you step on them. 

The Great Horan: did you hear Shim got him catnip joints. Starting him early. 

Harry #1: It’s for recovery! 

HAO: Totally, just like his mother! LOL! 

Carlos: Key recovery tool. So is Doritos. 

Broon: Dude, so are Ding Dongs

Ash: Ding Dongs and a bong! 

Press: how is the little guy doing Tobs? 

Press: is he eating okay? 

Press: how’s his leg? 

Press: is he walking yet? 

KO: Jesus Press, chill out! 

Press: I’m concerned. He’s so little and Tobin’s new at this. 

Hope: Tobs took great care of that plant so I’m sure he’s in good hands. 

Carlos: damn, Hope! 

Hope posts a picture of a chicken coop. 

Hope: here’s what my winnings got me- a new coop! Thanks Tobs! 

HAO: you in NC now? 

Hope: Yep

HAO: cool, let’s meet up. 

Hope: I’ll hit you up. 

Kreigs: you all don’t know how hard I had to fight Ash from getting little Stosh a shark outfit. 

Ash: honey, you know you wanted to but KO already got his costume. 

Ash: you’re just mad because you couldn’t find a tiny wetsuit

Kreigs: I hate you right now

Ash: I’m sitting next to you

Kreigs: move 

KO: let’s not fight over my awesomeness

Press: TOBIN! ANSWER ME!  
Tobin laughs out loud at the thread. She looks up and sees Alex is looking at her phone and smiling. 

“Hey, what’s got you smiling?” she asks her. 

Alex blushes, “Oh, just a friend,” she says as she sets her phone down and turns on a burner for a pot of water. She looks at Tobin, “Her name’s Syd and she works with me. She’s knows I’m here and wants to know how it’s going.” 

Tobin grins at her and sets the bottle down. “And how is it going?” 

Alex turns to the fridge and pulls out a beer. “Pretty damn good.” She smiles. “You?” 

Tobin smiles. “Better than I ever imagined.” 

“You know,” Alex takes a drink of her beer. “I was wondering something,” she says as she pours her soup in a bowl and brings it over to sit next to Tobin. “Would you think you’d like to get out a little?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, would you maybe like to come over to my place for the weekend?” Alex asks as she stirs her soup with her spoon. 

“Uh, well, yeah, if you want,” Tobin answers. She slaps her hand to the side of her head. “Did HAO tell you about Friday night and the team coming over?” 

“Yeah,” Alex nods. 

“Oh, okay, good.” Tobin answers. “So, uh, when did you want to go?” 

“Sometime Saturday, maybe in the afternoon after a lazy morning.” Alex smiles. “We’d come back on Monday after your doctor appointments.” 

“I’d really like that,” Tobin says, leaning over to kiss her. “It’s a great idea.” 

Alex smiles at her as she brings the spoon to her mouth. 

They both go back to their phones. “I’m going to call Press before she blows everyone’s phone up about Stosh, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Alex replies, she trusts Tobin, she’s not sure why she felt that insecurity, probably because she knows the cat tower was pretty expensive and not just your run of the mill congrats type gift. But Tobin set her straight, maybe without even realizing she was nervous about it. 

She continues texting Syd asking her to please stop referring to Tobin as the Hot Hiker. 

Tobin ends her call with Christen, thanking her profusely for the tower. She sets Stosh down in his box, covering him a little with the little towel so he can snuggle into it. She crutches over to the kitchen, stopping by Alex and giving her a quick kiss. She looks in the fridge and pantry and then makes herself a small protein drink. 

“What we are you looking for?” Alex asks, curious. 

“Just checking we that we’re good with snacks and stuff to drink tomorrow night.” Tobin answers as she sips her drink. 

“I can make some appetizers if you want,” Alex offers. 

“You don’t have to,” Tobin demures, “we’re not going to be fancy. We’ll just order some pizzas or something.” 

“I don’t mind,” Alex says, “I’m sure I can whip up a couple of things without having to go to the store, it’s not a problem.” 

“Well,” Tobin mulls it over, “only if you let me help a little.” She smiles. 

“Sure,” Alex replies, smiling back at her. 

 

They’re snuggled under the blanket when Tobin turns to her, “Hey, you’re cool with meeting these guys, right?” 

Alex nods, “Yeah, I mean, it was weird to meet Allie, but then I was, like, on official business, so it was different. Meeting HAO was kind of nerve wracking but only for a little bit. She’s really cool and put me ease so quickly, it was really nice.” She takes a sip of her water. “Like, it’s kind of wild to meet these athletes who’ve won Olympic medals and stuff but maybe me playing college ball for just a little bit helps me understand the drive? I know don’t know,” she shakes her head. “It’s hard to explain but you’ve surrounded yourself with these really awesome, humble, normal people who just so happen to be professional athletes. So, to answer your question, yes I’m cool with it.” 

Tobin grins at her. “I’m glad,” she says and gives her a kiss, “sometimes it’s hard to connect with people because their perception of me and my teammates on the field is completely different than who we are off the field. That’s why I really try to keep pretty private about stuff. I mean, having fans is awesome and I’ve met some amazing people over the years, but some of them,” she shakes her head, “they, like, meet you and have all these expectations of what you’re like based on what they think I’m like.” 

Alex just looks at her. “Does that keep you pretty isolated?”

“Not really,” Tobin says, “it makes me have a huge amount of people I know but only on the surface level. Sometimes I trust the wrong people who are a little shady, but I don’t know, I just try not judge, you know? But it gets me in trouble.” She leans back on the couch. “But, it’s how I met you so I can’t be too hard on myself,” she grins slyly. 

Alex leans in to kiss her and Tobin wraps her arm around her. They make out on the couch for a while, hands all over each other over their clothes. Alex glances at the time and pulls back. 

“You should get to bed,” she says. 

“I am in bed,” Tobin grins wickedly, massaging Alex’s breast. 

“Tobin!” Alex whines, “I’m serious!” 

Tobin just wiggles her eyebrows at her. They have a stare down and Tobin blinks first and starts laughing. She gets up from the couch and crutches to her room to get ready for bed. Alex gets up and sets out her meds grumbling about taking care of a horndog. 

Tobin returns to the kitchen, bumping Alex with her hip as she takes her meds and uses the mouth rinse. Alex places her hand on Tobin’s forearm, looking at her for a moment. 

“What’s up, babe?” Tobin asks, leaning on her crutches. 

“Um, how are you feeling?” she asks hesitantly. 

“Pretty good,” she shrugs. Alex just looks at her, eyebrows raised. Tobin sighs. “I’m really tired.” She admits quietly. 

Alex nods. “Would you be okay if I took Stosh to bed with me so you could get a full night’s sleep?” 

Tobin looks down and then nods. “Yeah,” she says quietly. Then she looks up at Alex. “Can I feed him before I go to sleep?” her voice a little uneven, as if she’s trying to hold back her emotions. 

“Of course,” Alex smiles. “How about you get settled and I’ll get the bottle ready,” she suggests, rubbing her arm. 

Tobin blinks her eyes rapidly a few times and nods and crutches off to the couch. As Alex prepares the bottle, she contemplates what has just occurred. 

Tobin is quiet as she feeds Stosh, gazing down at him but her eyes are getting heavy and Alex watches as her breathing slows down as she relaxes. Tobin turns her head to look at Alex. “Thank you,” she says quietly. 

Alex just leans into her and rests her head on her shoulder. She feels Tobin’s head starting to bob as she fights sleep so she straightens up and looks at her. “I can finish feeding him,” she offers quietly. 

Tobin looks at her glassy eyed, “He’s almost done,” she says simply. A single tear rolls down her cheek. 

“Hey,” Alex says, alarmed, “what’s going on?” she rubs her arm. 

Tobin shakes her head, “Nothing, it’s stupid,” she says, sniffling her nose. 

“Come on, if you’re upset, it’s not stupid.” Alex says now putting her arm around Tobin. 

Tobin is still looking at Stosh who has fallen asleep in her hands. She looks up at Alex, “I just, it’s, um, you just,” she lets out a huff, frustrated with her inability to formulate a sentence. She closes her eyes for a moment. “It’s just really nice to have someone looking out for me,” she says quietly, “it’s been a while and I kind of forgot how good it feels.” 

Alex smiles, “I know what you mean,” she says and leans in to kiss her. “This feels really good for me too.” 

Tobin lays her head back and smiles at her. “You’re so beautiful,” she says, her eyes shining. 

“Come here, you,” Alex says as she leans over to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support, yo. 
> 
> Thorns vs Orlando- I'll be looking forward to this match all week- who y'all pulling for?


	20. You're A Real MILF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meets some of Tobin's teammates. They head to Alex's house for the weekend and Tobin has a chance to meet some of Alex's friends.

“Cut those in half and then half them the long way, okay?” Alex instructs. Tobin is cutting some carrots to go with a veggie dip Alex made. 

Alex had scrounged around Tobin’s kitchen and pantry and was able to come up a few different appetizers for the get together with Tobin’s teammates. Tobin insisted on helping and was put to work slicing vegetables and arranging crackers on trays from her chair at the kitchen table. 

Their morning was lazy, lounging on the couch, snuggling under the covers, alternating between napping and feeling each other up. They wouldn’t let it get out of control, keeping it strictly over the clothes still, but the passion they were feeling for each other was becoming more and more apparent. 

“I really like your sweater, Lex,” Tobin says as she crutches up next to her after completing her task. 

“Thanks, you’re looking pretty good yourself,” she says as she bumps her hip and gives her a kiss. She looks at her. “How are you feeling?” 

“Pretty good,” Tobin nods and takes a sip from her water cup. “Thanks again for taking Stosh last night, I was really tired.” 

“No problem, he seemed to sleep longer with feeding him a bit more last night.” Alex replies as she finishes plating some sliced up summer sausage. “I’m going to take him again tonight, alright? I’d like you to get in another good night.” 

“Only if you’re sure,” Tobin declares. 

“I am, we can have a lazy morning and nap and I’ll be fine.” Alex nods. Her phone goes off with a text alert. She grabs it and looks at it. 

She looks up at Tobin. “Do you think you’d be up to stopping by my friend Syd’s house tomorrow night for a bit? She’s having a get together.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin smiles. “I’d love to meet your friends.” 

Alex smiles, “Okay, only for a bit though, like an hour okay?” 

“Yeah,” she nods, “whatever you want, it’s cool.” 

“Yeah?” Alex questions, “Hm, whatever I want, huh?” She smirks, “I’ll remember that,” she texts her reply. 

 

The team arrive in small groups, apparently the invitation had spread from the those who were in the training room to whoever that was sticking around Portland in the off season. It ends up being around a dozen or so, hanging out in the living room, passing Stosh around, reading from the cat tricks book and declaring the best tricks to teach him. Sinc and Emily Menges put together the cat tower.

Tobin and Alex move from group to group, Tobin making introductions and Alex falling easily into conversations with the women. At one point, Tobin was in the kitchen and looked across the room to check on her only to see her huddled with Kling and Sinc, laughing about something and glancing suspiciously at Tobin. 

There was a rowdy rock, paper, scissors competition to claim the prize of feeding Stosh ending with Emily Sonnett as the winner. She sat expectantly on the couch as Tobin made the bottle and gave instructions and showed her the proper placement. She handles him as if her was a newborn child, carefully cradling him on her chest and cooing at how cute he was. 

Her teammates huddle around, taking photos, talking softly about their own pets. It was adorable to see how the women were so gentle and soft, to Alex, it really humanizes them and makes her think of Tobin’s words about expectations. 

They order some pizzas and sit around talking, Lindsey mentioning how she’s leaving for a few weeks to go visit family. Others chime in with their travel plans and are shocked when Tobin’s reply was that she was sticking around the city until at least Thanksgiving. As soon as she says it, their eyes shift to glance at Alex, silently wondering if she is the reason why. It was swift and fleeting but Alex notices it, Tobin still speaking of what her plans in the city would be. 

Sinc, Allie, Sonnet and Mana insist on helping Alex clean up, and Alex watches as Kling, who’s speaking with Tobin, gives Sinc a subtle nod. When they finish taking out the last trash bag, Sinc, announces that it’s time to head out, and the group begins their goodbyes. 

All of them are genuine expressing their pleasure in meeting Alex, Allie cornering her to tell her just how happy she is seeing her and Tobin together. Alex had spent almost an hour talking to Allie and Sinc and really enjoyed their conversation. She never felt that these women were evaluating her or judging if she was good enough for Tobin. They were warm and welcoming, in fact making fun of Tobin and telling her some of Tobin’s antics. Tobin took it all in stride, just laughing it off and shrugging her shoulders at Alex admitting her guilt with a grin. 

They sit on the couch with their feet up, Stosh snuggled on Alex’s chest, the two holding hands. 

“You were a hit tonight,” Tobin says with a smile. “They think you’re awesome.” 

“Everyone was so nice, Kling is hilarious,” Alex states, “Allie is really nice, I like her. I can see how she’s your best friend.” 

“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome,” Tobin says, her voice sinking lower. She closes her eyes. 

“Yeah, no, you’re not doing that,” Alex says as she shifts away and places Stosh in his box, she covers part of him with the small fuzzy towel and he squirms into it. 

“Come on,” she says taking Tobin’s hand, “let’s get you ready for bed.” 

Tobin whines, “Lex!” she says, a smile threatening to show, “I wanna stay up and kiss you silly,” 

“Let’s see how fast you can get ready for bed, there horndog and we’ll see, okay?” Alex laughs. 

Tobin laughs as she gathers her crutches and heads off to her bedroom. Alex follows her and while Tobin is in the bathroom, she changes into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. They switch places and Alex finds Tobin at the island taking her meds. 

Alex gets Stosh and takes his box to go back to the bedroom, allowing Tobin to give him a goodnight kiss. “You’ll come back for your goodnight kiss, right?” she asks. 

“Of course,” Alex smiles as she leaves the kitchen. 

“I’m kissing you here because I don’t want to go to bed all horny again,” Alex declares as she stands in front of Tobin. 

“Do I make you horny?” Tobin asks, doing a terrible impersonation of Austin Powers. 

“Oh, yeah, that just turned me off,” Alex smirks as she leans in to kiss her. “Goodnight sweetheart,” she says. 

“Goodnight,” Tobin smiles. 

“Do you want a hand getting settled in?” Alex asks. 

“I’m good, thanks,” she replies quietly, smiling. “Sleep tight,” 

“You too,” Alex says and kisses her again. 

 

They have another lazy morning on the couch, snuggling, being a little handsy and napping. Around eleven they start moving, Tobin packing a bag for herself and Stosh and Alex gathering her items. Tobin double check to be sure she all her medications, the oxygen unit, mouth rinse, protein shakes and the other necessary items she needs before they leave. On the way to Alex’s house, Alex hits a drive thru to get a quick lunch and Tobin orders an iced coffee with little ice. She’s happy the sensitivity is lessening and hopes it allows her to drink a greater variety. The drooling has lessened quite a bit, normally only occurring during her sleep and nap times. She’s glad for it, it made her feel silly and like an infant. 

It’s only about a twenty-five minute drive and they soon find themselves on Alex’s dead end street heading to her house, the last one on the block. As they pull up, Tobin looks at the modest home, it’s a brick ranch littered with trees and backs up to the forest preserve. Alex gathers the bags and has Tobin wait while she brings them in the house, leaving Tobin to admire the plantings scattered around the property. 

“This is really nice,” Tobin compliments as they head up the sidewalk. She’s wearing her hoodie and Stosh has his head sticking out, sniffing the cool air. He’s content to stay in his pouch, head swiveling at the scents he’s smelling. 

They enter her home into the living room with hardwood floors and a comfy small couch. She has a dark wood desk with an old fashioned wooden swivel chair. “This is cool,” Tobin comments as they continue down the hall. They enter the kitchen that is cozy with the two long walls of counter tops and cabinets and the outer wall having a long porcelain farmhouse style sink. The opposite wall contained the fridge and stove. One long wall was interrupted by a door leading into the butler’s pantry which led to a large dining room that opened into the family room. The family room had a large couch with a high-backed chair and a couple of end tables. A fire place was the center point with a flat screen television above it. An open space showed off the glass patio doors lading out to the backyard. It was comfy and homey.

Alex leads her down a hallway off the family room, showing her a half bath, a guest room and then the master. The room is painted in a soft mint green with beige trim and a wood floor. Two dressers, a low and high one are shaker style wood, angular with paneled doors. It’s soft and simple with basic lines. 

“This is really nice,” Tobin repeats as she scans the room. There’s a bath off the back wall and what she assumes is a walk-in closet. 

“Let’s set our bags here and get Stosh settled in, okay?” Alex asks. 

“Sounds good,” Tobin replies as Alex strides across the room and opens the door to the closet. She sets their bags down and turns back to face her. 

“Let’s go, I’ve got something to show you,” she smiles as she passes Tobin and walks out of the room. 

They go back to the living room and Alex instructs Tobin to place her backpack on the dining room table. “It’s really just my fancy kitchen table. I thought the kitchen would be squished having a table in there.” She explains. 

As she takes out Stosh’s items from her backpack, Alex runs back out to her vehicle and brings in a bag that has his box and the litter box in it. She sets the bag on the table and disappears from the room again. 

She returns carrying a gift-wrapped box. “This is for you, well, actually, for Stosh,” Alex smiles. She pulls out a chair at the table and motions for Tobin to sit down. Tobin does and Alex hands her the box. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” Tobin demures, a hand on the box. 

“I wanted to,” Alex says simply. Tobin smiles back at her then begins to unwrap it. “Oh, wow!” she exclaims quietly, looking at the box. “This is so rad!” 

It’s a play pen for him, a large octagonal structure made of nylon with mesh window panels and zippered ceiling. There’s a zippered door, a half shaded ceiling and it has an easy to clean floor included. 

“So, I figured this would be good at your place to let him hang out as he starts walking around more.” Alex explains, “It will be easy for you being on crutches for awhile.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles, “I won’t lose him or have to chase him around.” 

“Exactly,” Alex says smiling. 

“I love it!” Tobin exclaims, leaning forward for a kiss, “This is perfect! How does it open?” 

“You untwist it and pops open,” Alex says, “I, uh, I tested it. It’s pretty cool.” 

“Can we test it out here?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah! I was hoping you would ask, I want to see if it works for him.” Alex says excitedly. 

Tobin works on opening the box and pulls out a bag. “It has a carry bag? How cool!” She works the zipper to get it open and pulls out the nylon. She unlocks the Velcro holds and it springs to life, “Ah!” She exclaims, startled and dropping it from her hands as it expands.

Alex turns it over as she laughs at Tobin’s scare. 

“It’s huge! This is so cool!” She exclaims. The playpen is beige with brown trim with black mesh window panels. It stands about two feet high and is about four feet around. 

“Thank you so much! This is going to be so handy.” Tobin says, getting up and sticking a crutch under her arm so she can lean on it and hug Alex. 

They get it set up in the living room, opting to wait to put the litter box in there until the next day so he can use it during the night. One of Tobin’s old sweatshirts goes in there for cuddling as well as toys he had gotten. 

“Are you hungry? I can make you a smoothie?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, I am getting hungry,” Tobin answers. 

After having her drink and taking her meds, Alex observes Tobin looking at the couch. 

“You ready to take a nap?” she asks her. 

“Yeah, I am getting a little tired.” Tobin admits.

“Okay, let me get your oxygen out of the truck and you can get Stosh’s bottle ready.” 

After feeding Stosh and letting him do his business, Tobin was snuggling him while Alex brought pillows out and prepared the couch for their nap. 

“Hey,” Alex got Tobin’s attention, “would you mind taking off your sweatshirt?” 

Tobin scrunched her eyebrows at her, “Ah, okay,” she replies, setting Stosh down next to her and removing it. 

“It’s just that you’re like, a furnace when you’re on me,” Alex explains. 

A smirk comes across Tobin’s face. “So, you’re saying I’m hot?” 

Alex grins back at her, “I’ll always say you’re hot,” she says, “but if I’m going to have a sweaty nap, I’d like to be doing something else to make me sweat than just having you lie on top of me.” 

Tobin’s eyes go wide at this and then she smirks. “Well, maybe you’ll let me give you something to get all hot and bothered about,” she counters. She picks up Stosh and sets him in his box. He snuggles in for his nap. 

She looks at Alex, who’s looking at her, hands on her hips, a grin plastered on her face. Tobin watches as the grin slides off her face as she watches Tobin remove her shirt.  


“Or maybe some skin to skin contact won’t make you overheat,” Tobin says, her voice low. 

“There’s only one way to find out, huh Heath?” Alex questions as she slides onto the couch next to her. Their lips meet with a sense of urgency, their kisses, trying to communicate their passion. It frustrates Tobin to no end that she can’t kiss Alex how she wants to. Her jaw is wired shut, she can’t even get the tip of her tongue out. 

Alex moves to place open kisses down Tobin’s neck as her hands drift up to her breasts. She breaks contact and moves to straddle her. Tobin moans as she runs her hands along Alex’s side. Alex is massaging Tobin’s breasts, kneading them with her hands and then lightly circling her nipples. 

“Lex,” Tobin moans, her hips moving beneath her, “Lex, I want you so bad,” her hands grip her hips, driving them down to meet her own. Just when Alex makes her way to place featherlight kisses down her chest, Tobin lays her head back, closing her eyes, soaking in the sensations. 

As Alex is trailing her tongue around Tobin’s nipple, she feels Tobin’s hands leave her hips. She continues her actions, gripping her other breast and tweaking her nipple as she runs her teeth over the other one. When she doesn’t get a reaction, she looks up. 

Tobin Heath is passed out, head to the side, lips parted, eyes shut. 

“Seriously?” Alex mutters and places her head on Tobin’s chest. She lets out a little chuckle. Nothing about this relationship has ever been typical. How they met, how they’ve continued and even now with Tobin passing out due to her meds. 

She considers her next move. She gets off Tobin’s lap and brings the ottoman from her wing back chair over and gently lifts her legs onto it. She grabs one of the pillows and places it under her head and then affixes the oxygen line under her nose. She goes in to her second bedroom and pulls off the light blanket there and brings it over to drape on her. Then she grabs the other blanket off the back of the couch for herself. 

Happy that Tobin was at one end of the couch, she finds Tobin’s right hand and snakes it out from under the covers and lays down with her head in her lap and places her hand on her chest under her own blanket. She puts her own hand over Tobin’s and settles in to nap. As she gets comfortable, she moves Tobin’s hand over her right breast and keeps it there. Satisfied, she closes her eyes. 

Alex wakes to feeling Tobin shifting her hips, giving out a low moan and a deep sigh. She opens her eyes and looks up to see Tobin’s frowning, wincing as she shifts her head. “No,” she moans, as her left arm moves around under the blanket. 

Alex squeezes Tobin’s hand and presses it to her breast. She slides her other hand up Tobin’s arm rubbing her bicep. Tobin lets out another sigh, softly squeezing Alex’s breast. 

She continues to do so, just a slow, rhythmic squeeze, so and gentle. Alex closes her eyes and revels in this moment, enjoying Tobin’s touch. She arches her back to meet her gentle ministrations. When she feels Tobin lift her hand and trace two fingers around her nipple, she opens her eyes to see Tobin staring sleepily at her. 

“Hi,” she whispers, blinking slowly. 

“Hi,” Alex husks back, smiling. 

“I feel asleep on you, didn’t I.” Tobin says, her eyes half open, her voice scratchy. Alex nods and Tobin sighs.

“I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head a little. 

“You’re fine,” Alex says letting out a small giggle. “Do it when you're off the meds and we’ll have a problem.” 

“I hate these drugs,” she says quietly, her eyes closing again. 

“Why don’t you rest here for a while, I’m going to get up and do a couple of things.” Alex says, sliding out from Tobin’s lap. 

Tobin mumbles a reply. 

 

A couple of hours later, Tobin is finally awake, sipping on her protein dinner shake. She had gotten up not too long ago, showered and dressed for the evening. She was disoriented when she had awoken, looking around the room, trying to figure out where she was. When Alex approached her, she could see the confusion etched across her face. Alex explained where she was, where Stosh was and what day it was. Tobin was embarrassed by her confusion, apologizing profusely. Alex dismissed it, blaming the drugs.

“Are you sure it’s cool to bring him?” Tobin asks again as they head to her vehicle. 

“Absolutely! He’s going to be the hit of the party.” Alex says. She stops walking and turns to her, giving her a soft kiss. “And you get to be the proud Mama showing him off.” 

Tobin kisses her back, “And do you like that?” she questions, her voice low. 

“Oh yeah,” Alex says kissing her a little more heatedly, “you’re a real MILF.” 

“What?” Tobin laughs, eyes wide. 

“It applies to cat mommies,” Alex says, swatting Tobin’s butt as she continues to walk to the Jeep. 

Tobin just laughs as she crutches along. 

 

On the drive over, Alex notices Tobin’s leg bouncing with nerves. 

“Are you nervous?” she asks her. It shocks her that Tobin might be nervous. Again, she thinks about expectations. I was a little nervous to meet her friends, that's normal, she reasons to herself, why would I be surprised Tobin feels the same? 

“Uh, a little?” Tobin replies sheepishly.

“You have nothing to worry about, Tobin.” Alex states firmly. “They’re gonna love you.” She hears Tobin sigh so she reaches over and grabs her hand. “Honest,” she says, squeezing her hand. “They’re all laid back and cool. You’ll be fine.” 

“Okay,” Tobin says, nodding her head ad taking a deep breath.


	21. Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Syd leans in to Alex, whispering in her ear, “Hot Hiker has a kitten? Jesus, Alex, if I played on your team I’d be doing her on the kitchen table by now.” 
> 
> Alex slaps her arm, “Syd!” she hisses, blush creeping back to her face. 
> 
> Tobin meets Syd. A car conversation reveals Tobin's and Alex's thoughts on their relationship. And their bullshit.

“Alex!” a voice bellows across the room as they walk in. A beautiful dark-haired woman approaches her with open arms. “How are you?” 

“Syd!” Alex greets, hugging her. “How’s it going?” 

“Awesome!” she replies with a mischievous smile. She turns to Tobin, “You must be Tobin? Nice to meet you,” she says, giving her a gentle hug. “I’ve heard wonderful things about you.” 

“Nice to meet you too,” Tobin smiles. 

“Come on in and make yourselves comfortable, what can I get you to drink?” Syd asks as she leads them through the living room. Loud music is playing and as they move through the crowd, Tobin can feel eyes on her. It makes her feel a little self-conscious as she crutches along behind Alex and Syd. She brings them to the kitchen where it’s much quieter and fewer people are gathered. 

“I’ll take a beer,” Alex says, rubbing Tobin’s back. 

“Uh, water is fine,” Tobin replies. Syd hands her a water bottle, “Thanks,” she says, nerves evident. 

“So, Tobin,” Syd spins around from the fridge, handing Alex her beer and eyes narrowed on her, “How are you feeling? You look great,” she says. 

“Oh, uh, feeling a little better every day.” Tobin nods. 

“Good to hear,” Syd nods back at her. “Gave us all a scare. Glad Alex and her gut feeling got out there quick to help you out.” 

“So am I,” Tobin replies easily, settling down. “I was a mess out there,” 

“Girl, that’s not what I heard!” Syd exclaims, her voice rising. “All Alex could do when she got back to base was talk about how awesome your shelter was, how organized you were and,” she pauses to smile sweetly at her, “how you offered her tea to warm up when she found you.” 

Tobin and Alex are blushing furiously at this, neither looking at Syd. 

Tobin’s leaning on her crutches and she scratches at the back of her neck, “Well, uh, my Mom always says to be polite, so I guess instinct just kicked in,” she replies with a bashful smile. 

“So polite,” Syd grins. “So, it’s totally cool if you want to chill on the couch” she’s interrupted by a voice yelling out. 

“Tobin Fucking Heath!” a female voice rings out. She swivels her head to the living room where a tall dark haired woman is fast approaching her. 

“Ya-Ya?” Tobin says, surprised and confused. “What are you doing here?” she asks as she is enveloped in a hug. 

“Syd’s husband is my cousin,” she explains. 

Tobin turns to Syd and Alex, “Alex, do you know Yael? She plays in the league.” Alex shakes her head. 

“Alex,” Yael greets, “nice to meet you.” 

“You too,” Alex smiles, grateful for the interruption. 

“I thought you’d be back in Jersey?” Tobin asks. 

“Took a side trip to visit, just got in today. I was going to call you tomorrow and see how you’re doing.” Yael says, slinging an arm around her. 

“Cool,” Tobin nods, “what a small world, huh?” she smiles at the group. She looks down, “Oh, I think someone’s waking up,” she announces. 

Yael looks at her incredulously, “Are you pregnant?” 

Tobin’s eyes shoot wide open, “What? No! Yael!” she says shaking her head. Stosh struggles to pop his head out of the pouch, his blue eye looking around curiously. 

“Oh my God! He’s so cute!” Yael proclaims. 

Syd leans in to Alex, whispering in her ear, “Hot Hiker has a kitten? Jesus, Alex, if I played on your team I’d be doing her on the kitchen table by now.” 

Alex slaps her arm, “Syd!” she hisses, blush creeping back to her face. 

“Here,” Syd offers, pulling out a kitchen chair, “sit so we can see this little one,” 

Tobin settles into the chair, setting her crutches against the table and gently lifts Stosh out and holds him close to her chest. 

“This is Stosh,” she states, “Uh, sorry about him coming along but I” 

Syd waves her hand, “Don’t you worry about that, he’s adorable!” 

“What happened to him?” Yael questions. 

Tobin explains the circumstances of him coming into her life. 

“I just thought, maybe we could help each other,” she finishes, the others are mesmerized by her story. 

“I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel.” Syd, announces. 

Tobin nods, looking down at Stosh. “I just really wish we had seen the license plate so we could have turned them in.” she says softly. 

“But, you guys have to know, he’s the most spoiled cat ever already!” Alex says, changing the subject slightly, she doesn’t want Tobin to be upset or begin to reflect about her own situation. 

Tobin quickly looks up and smiles at Alex. Then she looks at Yael and Syd, “Yeah, did you know they make a scratching station that looks like a DJ turntable?” 

“Get out!” Syd exclaims. 

“Did Kelley send you that?” Yael asks. 

“No, she sent him a pirate’s costume.” Tobin replies, digging into her phone and handing it to Alex to show them the photos. 

As the women cooed over his photos, a handsome man appeared at Syd’s side. “Who’s this little mate?” he inquires, looking at Stosh with a smile. 

Tobin introduces Stosh and herself and learns that his name is Dom and he is Syd’s husband. They easily talk about soccer, he tells her some Yael stories, making her laugh and putting her ease. Stosh has wiggled out from Tobin’s grasp, resting on her shoulder comfortably, just looking around the room. 

Dom invites Tobin to see his Man Cave so she gets up slowly, Stosh still balancing on her shoulder. Alex, startled, moves behind her to make sure he doesn’t slip. She slips Tobin’s phone in her back pocket and follows along, nervous for the kitten. 

Stosh does just fine as Tobin crutches along, earning a few surprised looks and smiles from other guests as they make their way to the back room. 

There’s a few guys hanging out, watching a basketball game. Dom introduces her to everyone and he shows Tobin around the room, talking about some of his sports memorabilia treasures. Alex is speaking with a few of the guys she knows from work, chatting about work related stuff while sipping her beer. 

Yael comes back in with her husband to say hello to Tobin and the four of them start talking about soccer and the NWSL season. It’s been over an hour of hanging out and Alex watches Tobin closely in a casual way while she hangs out with her coworkers. 

Stosh has gone to sleep on her shoulder, snuggled in by her neck and Yael whips out her phone to snap some photos. The other guys want to hear his story so Tobin explains it again and nods her head when they talk about the asshole who did that. 

Syd comes in asking Dom if she can steal Tobin and Alex for a minute. 

“Totally,” he smiles easily, “we’ll see you later, okay?” he pats Tobin on the back as she follows Alex, crutching back to the kitchen. Syd pulls out a chair and points to Tobin and directs her sit. 

“Sorry,” Syd confesses, “I didn’t know he would hijack you guys for that long,” she shrugs. 

“It’s cool,” Tobin smiles as she sits down, “he’s really nice,” 

“He is really nice,” Syd smiles, “but he doesn’t shut up!” she laughs. 

Tobin gently slips Stosh back in his pouch and rotates her neck, loosening it up. Alex moves behind her and starts to massage her shoulders. “Syd, I think we’re gonna have to take off soon,” she says, “when the little guys wakes up he’s going to be starving and yelling to eat.” 

“Who doesn’t when they wake up?” Syd jokes, “I’ll give Dom and Yael your goodbyes so you can make an Irish exit and get out of here sometime before midnight,” she says as she moves to hug Alex. 

As they hug, Syd whispers in her ear, “Hot Hiker is like H Two Oh My God! You better lock that down, girl!” Tobin’s distracted standing up and getting her crutches and doesn’t see Alex punching her in the arm as they pull from their embrace. 

Syd gives her a soft hug, careful of her injuries. “It was so nice to meet you Tobin,” she smiles. “Hope to see you again soon.” 

Tobin nods as she gets her crutches under her arms, “Yeah, this was a blast,” she smiles at her, “it was really nice to meet you too, and thanks for being so cool about Stosh.” 

“He’s welcome anytime,” Syd says, “I mean it, I can’t wait to see him grow into his ears and paws.” 

“You think he’s going to be a big cat?” Tobin asks, “I don’t know anything about them yet,” she confesses, shrugging her shoulders. 

“I’m no expert, but those are big paws, if his coat comes in long haired, he might be a Maine Coon,” Syd guesses. 

“Huh,” Tobin says, “I’ll have to look that up.” 

“Alright, we’ve got to get out of here,” Alex says as she rubs Tobin’s back, “I really don’t want to hear Stosh crying in the car.” 

“Get out of here,” Syd instructs, “use the side door.” She points to the door off the kitchen. 

“Thanks again,” Tobin says over her shoulder as they leave. 

 

 

 

“That was a lot of fun,” Tobin says as Alex drives back to her home, “Syd is super cool and so is Dom.” 

“Yeah,” Alex glances at her, “Syd’s a really good friend to me,” she smiles, “she doesn’t put up with my bullshit.” 

Tobin looks at her curiously. “You have bullshit?” 

“Well, yeah,” Alex says as if it is obvious. 

“What’s some of your bullshit?’ Tobin inquires. 

Alex looks at her to see if she’s serious. Tobin is watching her intently and looking at her expectantly. 

“Well, I have a tendency to worry about things and sometimes I over analyze situations to an unhealthy level.” 

“Can you give an example?” Tobin asks. Alex looks at her again, growing a little uncomfortable. 

“How about this,” Tobin offers, “you tell me an example of your bullshit and I’ll tell you one of mine?” 

Alex smiles. “Okay,” she nods with a smile. She thinks for a minute. “Okay,” she clears her throat. 

“Maybe when we first met, I got really nervous that you wouldn’t want to date me because of Mara and Liz. I thought maybe you would shut down and not want to meet or be with anyone new in your life because you’d be scared they’d hurt you like Mara and Liz did.” 

Alex glances at her and sees Tobin’s surprised face. She’s looking at her with her eyes wide open as if she can’t believe what she’s just heard. She shifts in her seat and looks out the window. It makes Alex nervous. 

“I’m just thinking, okay?’ Tobin says quietly. “I’m not upset, I’m just thinking about it, okay?” she asks quietly, reaching over to grasp Alex’s hand in her own and squeeze it. 

That gesture settles Alex as she drives. 

“Do you mind if I comment on that and then I’ll give you one of my examples of my bullshit?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah, of course,” Alex nods. She makes a turn to make the drive a little longer. She doesn’t want to interrupt this conversation. 

“Do you remember the day you texted me about the electric blanket?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah,” Alex nods. 

“I was having a really bad day.” Tobin admits. “I was in pain, I was cold all day and I couldn’t turn off my brain. I was being super hard on myself about everything that happened, blaming myself for being too trusting, being stupid for not seeing their intentions,” she sighs, “I was just,” she pauses, “not in a good place.” 

“I felt smothered by my Mom and Perry, I felt guilty for feeling that way, I was scared about what happened, I was scared about my feelings for you. I wasn’t trusting myself for anything, I felt lousy and kind of just wanted to shut out everything and go sit in a dark room and swallow my pain meds to make it go away for a while. To say I was overwhelmed would a complete understatement.” 

“I wasn’t sure you’d really want to try and get to know me while I was recovering, I couldn’t speak very well and was hopped up on meds like a zombie. I was doubting everything. I didn’t feel good about myself.” 

She’s quiet for a minute, Alex patiently waits. She makes another turn for a longer drive back.

“Then I saw your text asking how I was feeling,” she says with a smile, squeezing Alex’s hand. “And that whole exchange about a heating blanket really tickled me. But that wasn’t it.” 

Tobin begins to softly rub the back of Alex’s hand with her thumb. 

“What did it was when you texted back asking if I was getting sick.” Alex glances over and sees that Tobin’s eyes were glistening. 

“You don’t know how sweet of you that was.” She sniffles her nose. “And the way you took care of my Mom and my sisters, you treated them so well, you went out of your way to help my family before I was even conscious.” 

She wipes under her eye, looking up for a moment, trying to stop her tears. 

“When you called my Mom when we were out in the woods, you were so kind. I was in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally and you just held me. You held me together, you comforted me.” 

Her grip tightens on Alex’s hand. 

“You made me feel safe, you made feel better, you made me realize I really like being in your arms.” Tobin says. “And I’m sorry if I ever gave you a vibe that said back off, or made you feel like I didn’t trust you. I trusted you the moment you walked into that shelter and I haven’t stopped.” 

Alex has to pull over in McDonald’s parking lot because her vision is blurry from her tears. She puts the Jeep in park and turns in her seat to face Tobin. 

“No,” Alex shakes her head, “see, that’s my bullshit, it’s like I invent something to worry about sometimes. Like, I let a negative seed of doubt blossom. You’ve never given me reason to think that, I just get insecure about stuff sometimes. I get nervous but I have a hard time talking about it.” 

“Will you try?” Tobin asks. “I know it’s hard, but I’m not always able to tell if something’s bugging you yet. It’s like, this has been pretty easy, right?” she asks her, her eyes big, expectant. Alex nods. “So, this is good that we’re talking. I mean, I’m not always too perceptive about stuff, ya know? I try to be, but, like, I just take it as it comes. It’s not that I don’t think this is serious, because it is to me. It’s just, I trust it and I trust you so I don’t have those doubts.” 

The conversation Alex had with HAO pops into her mind. 

“You know how I worked on my sketchbook?” Tobin asks. Alex nods. “Maybe, like, if you can’t find the words to say it to me, you can write it? That way I’ll know and I can reassure you or I can tell you if something’s up? Is that a stupid idea or”

“No,” Alex says, interrupting her. “I like it. I like it a lot.” She leans over and kisses her. 

“You do?” Tobin asks, surprised. 

“Yes,” Alex smiles. “I do.” 

Tobin’s smiling at her in a way that makes Alex want to rip her clothes off and take in the car. Stosh begins to stir so she puts the Jeep in gear. “We should get back,” she says as she waits to pull out of the lot. 

Tobin clears her throat. “So, do you want to hear one of my examples of my bullshit?” 

“Of course.” Alex nods.

Tobin takes a deep breath and nods. “I get focused on things. Like, a lot. I mean, like lasered focused.” 

“You wouldn’t be where you are and doing what you do if you weren’t Tobin,” Alex replies. 

“Yeah,” she says as she runs a hand through her hair. “But like, I want you to know so I don’t like, alienate you. I’ll begin rehab soon. For a long time, it’s just been me. I haven’t had anyone to be with. But, like, I get called out by my friends and my family because I’ll, like, eat, breath and sleep on whatever I’m focused on. Rehab. Playoffs. World Cup. Olympics.” 

She sighs. “Like, I don’t ever want you feel I neglect you or take advantage of you. So, would it be a lot to ask if I ask you to call me out on it? Like, when you feel I’m like, too focused?” she asks softly, her eyes showing uncertainty and maybe, just a little fear. 

Alex pulls into her driveway. She puts the Jeep in park leaving the motor running. “So, what I’m hearing you say is that sometimes you get focused on a task, whether it’s your rehab, or a big match or something and you fear that I’ll get mad you’re not paying enough attention to me. So, you want me to tell you when I feel that way?” 

Tobin nods slowly. 

Alex leans back in her seat, gripping Tobin’s hand again. This time she’s the one rubbing soft circles on the back of Tobin’s hand. 

“Not to put words in your mouth, but I feel like you’re trying to say you get unbalanced when something big is going on and people get angry because you tend to ignore them and choose to focus whatever you’re doing instead. So, you want me to help keep you balanced where you can work hard on your task but still have a personal life, right?” 

“Yeah, balance,” Tobin agrees. “You explain it so much better than me. That’s exactly it.” 

Alex nods. “I can do that, that’s no problem.” 

Tobin lets out a big sigh of relief, “Awesome, I mean, I’ll try, I really will, but I’m not used to it, you know? I want to be with you, I guess, I just, I’m just,” she falters for a minute, “I don’t want to be a jackass and drive you away before I realize I’m doing it.” She finishes quietly.

“I think if we both just keep talking, we’ll be fine,” Alex smiles at her as she shuts the engine off. Tobin smiles and nods. 

They get out of the Jeep and head into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say thanks for the encouraging comments. I'm so very much appreciate those who take the time to offer them up. 
> 
> We're going to start moving the story a bit forward very soon (the hookup wink wink) and see how things play out between Tobin and Alex. With everything seemingly going so smoothly between them will some friction arise? 
> 
> WIll Alex discover that she really just likes Tobin depending her and her taking care of her needs and become a disillusioned when a healthy Tobin doesn't need her so much? 
> 
> Will Tobin discover the any underlying reasons why Alex has been so willing to be in her life and how will she adjust to being in a relationship after so much time? Will she be able to give Alex what she needs?


	22. For Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Tobin return from Syd's party and sexy times ensue. 
> 
> Tobin and Alex make a commitment to their future.

“Let me help you with that,” Alex offers quietly, moving in front of Tobin and helping her out of her hoodie. She leans in and kisses her. “You are so fucking hot, Tobin.” She murmurs as she takes the bottom of Tobin’s shirt in her hands and lifts it up, helping her out of it. 

They had gotten back from Syd’s house, fed Stosh and put him down for the night and were preparing for bed themselves. 

This time Tobin leans in towards her, “I had a hard time keeping my eyes off you tonight,” she husks, her hot breath in Alex’s ear. She gently places a kiss just under her earlobe. 

She leans on her crutches and moves her hands to Alex’s sweater. 

Alex moves in closer and they kiss, there’s a new passion it, as if their conversation in the car brought them to a new level of closeness. Hands are moving over each other and when Alex places some long slow kisses on Tobin’s neck while squeezing her ass, Tobin lets out a moan that makes her instantly wet.

She pulls back slowly, moving her hands up Tobin’s back as she looks at her. Tobin eyes her with unadulterated lust. “Sit down,” she says motioning to the bed. Tobin takes a couple of awkward steps back with her crutches. Alex takes them from her and leans them up against the wall next to the bed. 

She stands in front of Tobin, looking down at her with a wicked grin. She brings her hands up to her own breasts and begins to massage them. “You make me so wet, babe,” she says as she squeezes herself, “I want you,” she says and slowly moves her arms around to unhook her bra, letting her breasts swing free from it. 

She watches as Tobin audibly gulps in the quiet room as she looks, eyes wide, lips parted, beginning to breathe a little heavier. Alex pops the button on her jeans and slowly unzips the zipper, sliding out of them as gracefully as she can. Seeing Tobin watch her turns her on and makes her feel beautiful. She turns around so Tobin gets a full view of her ass she as slowly removes her socks . 

“You’re gonna kill me,” Tobin says breathlessly, as she leans back on her hands. 

“Well,” Alex grins as she slides off her underwear to stand completely naked in front of her, “what a fucking way to go, huh?” she leans in and kneels on the bed, her legs straddling Tobin. She brings her in for a kiss and feels Tobin’s hands running over her bare back. As they kiss, they both move their hands to the front, Tobin softly palming Alex while Alex is massaging her breasts a little more roughly. Alex moves her hands and unclips Tobin’s bra and watches as Tobin sends it flying with a flick of her wrist. 

“Scoot back,” Alex husks and Tobin obeys, slowly sliding herself back until her head is near the pillows. Alex carefully frees Tobin’s lower leg from the boot and gently massages her thighs as she reaches up to pop the button on her jeans and slowly slide the zipper down. Tobin lifts her hips up as Alex slides her pants off and carefully puts the boot back on.  
Alex slowly begins her journey forward, massaging Tobin’s calf, then her thighs, then slowly running her hands along her torso as she straddles her. She brings her hands next to Tobin’s shoulders and leans in to kiss her. She feels Tobin’s strong hands deeply massaging her ass as they kiss. 

As she works on Tobin’s neck, careful not to leave marks, she places a gentle kiss on her jaw, and then moves up to place another on her forehead. 

“Lex,” Tobin moans, “let me touch you,” she says as she awkwardly tries to roll them. Alex allows herself to get flat on her back, Tobin staring hungrily down at her. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispers, looking deeply into her eyes. She leans in and kisses her, then moves down her neck as she massages one of her breasts with one hand while the other holds herself up, hovering over Alex. She moves a leg in between Alex’s and moves to lean on her elbow as she traces her hand along Alex’s stomach, her hair falling across Alex’s torso, tickling her a little as she slowly kisses and gently sucks on her breast with her lips. 

Alex lets out a moan as Tobin’s hand slowly leaves her breast and snakes down her abdomen and settles where she needs it most. Alex raises her hips to meet Tobin’s hand, overwhelmed by her senses. Tobin slides a long, thin finger through her slit, slowly circling her clit. Tobin’s mouth leaves Alex’s breast and she stretches out to kiss her softly as her hand presses down on her. 

Alex gasps at the sensation, bucking her hips involuntarily as Tobin picks up the pace. “Oh,” Alex moans as she trails a hand behind Tobin’s neck to draw her to kiss her. As they kiss, Tobin moves her hand down, fingers circling her opening, slowly at first, then faster. It’s driving Alex crazy, her hips keep moving trying to draw Tobin into her. 

“Tobin, please,” she whines. Tobin looks directly into her eyes, watching as Alex throws her head back as she slides a finger into her. She starts moving it slowly, just an easy back and forth rhythm, but soon she adds another finger and begins to quicken the pace. Alex is meeting her thrusts with her hips, a fine bead of perspiration breaking out across her forehead. 

Tobin kisses her collarbone, then moves slowly up her neck to whisper in her ear, “So beautiful,” she changes her hand position and brushes against Alex’s clit causing Alex to unleash a loud moan of pleasure. 

“Yes, yes,” she chants as she grips Tobin’s strong bicep. 

Tobin slides her fingers out and begins to quickly circle her clit. Alex arches her back, moaning for her not stop until she draws in a deep breath, freezing her body as her orgasm rushes through her, making her gasp for breath. Tobin slows down to lightly tease as she comes down from it, smiling at her. 

Alex is panting as Tobin rolls on her side, looking at her, resting her hand lightly in her stomach. 

“That was,” Alex pants, “so good,” she says as she cranes her neck to kiss her. 

Alex stares at Tobin as she catches her breath, a smile creeping across her face. 

“I wanna make you feel good, babe,” she says quietly as she moves to her side to face Tobin. She leans over and kisses her, and gently pushes on her shoulder so she lays back. Alex slides over so she’s half on Tobin’s right side, aware of her injured ribs on the left side. She runs a light hand over them, taking in the fading bruises. She leans over to kiss the area and then moves her hand to massage her breast. She slides her leg in between Tobin’s and slowly rocks into her, feeling Tobin’s wetness on her thigh. 

“Lex,” Tobin moans, her eyes close as she runs her hands up and down Alex’s sides. Alex increases her pace with her leg and her grip on Tobin’s breast grows firmer. She tongues her collarbone, nipping at it and then sucking on it. 

Alex makes her way with her mouth to Tobin’s breast, “You’re gorgeous, like a work of art,” she murmurs before she licks around Tobin’s nipple with the tip of her tongue. 

This sends Tobin off the bed, back arching to find more contact as she moans. One of her hands finds the back of Alex’s neck, resting gently but trying to guide her where she needs her to be. Alex trails her fingers along Tobin’s abdominals, feeling every bump and ridge from her defined torso. 

“Mmmmm,” Tobin moans as Alex begins to suck on her nipple, alternating begin swirling her tongue around it and then sucking hard. 

Alex’s free hand finds Tobin’s center, dipping through the wetness to circle her opening. Tobin’s breathing picks up and Alex feels her hot breaths on the top of her head. She slides a finger in to the tight space and slowly begins to move it forward. 

Tobin lets out another moan that makes Alex wet again as she picks up the intensity of her thrusts. She continues this for a few minutes and then decides to add another finger, causing Tobin to arch her back again while lifting her hips to meet her hand. 

Tobin’s loudly breathing out through her mouth, trying to catch her breath as Alex begins to thrust faster. Alex wants to taste her though, so she slows down her movements and slowly makes her way down to Tobin’s body. 

“Lex,” Tobin pants, “wait,” she breathes out. Alex looks up at her, slightly startled. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, frozen in place. All she wants to do is make Tobin feel as wonderful as she did, now she’s worried she may have hurt her or something. 

“Come up here,” Tobin says quietly, still breathing heavy. Alex removes her fingers and crawls back up to face her. 

“What? What’s wrong?” she asks again. 

“Nothing,” Tobin breathes out, her eyes a little glassy. “Just, can you maybe not go down on me?” she asks timidly. 

“Is there a reason?” Alex asks, “Like, do you have an STD or something?” 

Tobin’s eyes fly open, frantically looking at her and gripping her shoulders. “No!” she exclaims, “No, no, I swear, nothing like that!” she breathes out. She lets her head fall back on the pillow and removes a hand from Alex’s shoulder to run it through her hair. 

“I just, uh,” she says, now failing to be able to look her in the eye, “would it be okay if you waited to go down on me until I can go down on you?” 

This is not what Alex expects to hear. Frankly, she has no idea what would come out of Tobin’s mouth. Before she can formulate a reply, Tobin speaks again. 

“It’s just killing me that I can’t touch you how I want to,” she says quietly, her voice so low and sexy that Alex squirms just a little listening to her 

The realization hits Alex hard, she wasn’t even thinking about that when she moved down Tobin’s body. 

“Yeah, of course,” she says softly, “it’ll be tough though, ‘cause I really want to taste you.” She smiles at her, Tobin finally looking at her. 

“I just” Tobin starts, looking down, feeling awkward. 

“I know,” Alex says, kissing her longer this time, “you’re so sweet, I understand.” Tobin gives her a bashful small smile, and leans up to kiss her again. 

Alex begins to massage both of Tobin’s breasts, “Now, where were we, hhmm?” she asks as she gives her a wicked grin. An idea pops into her mind and she smiles as she rubs Tobin’s nipples with her fingers. She leans down to take one of Tobin’s breasts in her mouth and snakes her hand down in between her legs. She slides two fingers into her tight core and begins to thrust again. 

Very soon she has Tobin moaning with every thrust, her arms extended grasping at the sheets as her hips buck to meet Alex’s hand. 

“Oh, yes,” Tobin moans, “don’t stop, please,” she begs. Alex is riding Tobin’s thigh as she increases the pace with her hand. “Fuck!” Tobin moans, breathing loudly as she brings her head forward, suddenly stopping all movement as her orgasm washes over her. She crumples back into the mattress, breathing heavy, eyes closed. 

It takes a minute or two for Tobin to be able to speak. Alex watching her, thinking how beautiful she was as she recovers. 

“That was-oh!” Tobin exclaims as Alex twitches her fingers that are still inside her. She looks up at her and sees the smirk on Alex’s face. 

Alex leans in, just inches from Tobin’s face. “I’m not finished with you yet, Heath,” she says and kisses her. Tobin looks at her with wide eyes and lips parted in wonder. 

Alex curls her fingers and Tobin arches her back, emitting a loud moan. Still sensitive from her orgasm, it doesn’t take long for her hips to start bucking. Alex is still riding her thigh, feeling ready to explode from watching Tobin in the throes of passion. 

Alex moans herself when Tobin surprises her and slips two fingers into her. They writhe together in rhythm, escalating their pace of thrusts as their heavy breathing mixes with the moans filling the room. When Tobin lets out a particularly louder moan as her legs start shaking, Alex can feel her orgasm begin. She removes her fingers and furiously circles Tobin’s clit as they both release at the same time. 

Alex collapses on Tobin’s right side, breathing heavy, eyes barely open. She sees Tobin struggling for breath and feels her moves her arm underneath her to hold her side. She’s wincing a little as she tries to control her out of control respiratory system. 

“Shit,” Alex mutters, realizing Tobin’s in pain. “Are you okay?” she pants. 

Tobin just nods her head, eyes closed, forehead creased, exhaling loudly. 

A few minutes pass until they both have calmed down. 

“That was,” Tobin says, swallowing a breath, “pretty amazing.” 

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, running her fingers through Tobin’s hair. “You alright?” 

Tobin nods, “Nothing a pill can’t make better,” she grins lazily at her with half open eyes. “I’ll be fine.” 

 

 

 

Neither one of them can stop smiling as they sit at the table having their breakfast. 

“Thanks for taking care of Stosh last night,” Tobin says as she sips her breakfast drink, “again.” 

“You’re welcome,” Alex smiles, “he really was only up twice, so it wasn’t bad.” 

Stosh is tottering around on the table, walking back and forth between the two for attention. Tobin is giving him little bits of a kitty paste to eat. 

“He’s getting big already,” Alex comments as she takes the last spoonful of her oatmeal. “I wonder how big he’ll get.” 

“Yeah, Syd mentioned he could be a Maine Coon,” Tobin states as she watches Stosh climb up on her arm and begin to climb up it to her shoulder. She held her other hand out in case he took a tumble but he was successful and now perched next to her head. 

“That is so adorable.” Alex squeaks. 

“Yeah, he’s pretty cute,” Tobin smiles at her and then turns her head to talk to him, “You’re my handsome boy, aren’t you?” she asks. 

As if he’s replying, Stosh lets out a high pitched chirp and nuzzles her face, purring loudly. 

The two women laugh as Tobin brings a hand up to pet his soft coat and scratch the side of his jaw. “So,” Tobin begins, “what’s the plan for today?” 

“Well, I think a lazy morning, there should be a soccer match somewhere to watch,” Alex says, “there’s an art show in town we could check out, but I’m telling you right now, it would be a short trip so you don’t tire yourself out.” 

“Is it outside?” Tobin asks as she finishes her drink. Stosh has now laid down next to her neck. 

“Yeah,” Alex nods, “it’s a bunch of tents, we could hit a few.” 

“That sounds cool,” Tobin grins, “it’d be cool to bring the little guy, right?” 

“I don’t see why not,” Alex shrugs, “it’s outside so it shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“Rad,” Tobin says, tilting her head a little to brush her jaw against him. 

 

They settle onto the couch, Alex lying on across the couch with Tobin on top of her, Stosh napping in his enclosure. Alex insisted on bringing Tobin’s oxygen out from the bedroom and having her use it, telling her they were seriously just lazing around and napping. Nothing else.

“I’ve got to ask the doctor tomorrow when I can lose this thing,” she says, annoyed, as she attaches the line under her nose. “It’s annoying as fuck.” 

“Well, at the least excessive drooling part is over,” Alex giggles, “it is, right?” 

“I think it’s back down to my normal level of drool,” Tobin grins. 

“So, I won’t have to wash the pillowcases every day?” Alex teases.

“Maybe every other day.” Tobin laughs. 

As they watch the game, Alex can feel Tobin’s body relaxing as she falls asleep. Alex plays with her hair, lightly running her hand through it, scratching her scalp softly. She feels great about where they stand. Not just because of the sex last night, more importantly because of their bullshit talk. It’s really the first time she’s ever opened up to a potential girlfriend so early in a relationship. Tobin is easy to talk to. She really listens and pays complete attention to what Alex says and in turn, thinks about her reply after Alex is finished speaking. She really likes that about her and is making an effort to do the same.

She knows it too early for her to think she loves Tobin, but it’s certainly not too early for her to really think she might. It’s not that she’s had a history of heart breaks that make her guard her heart a little, it’s more based on practical reasoning. Right now, Tobin is her captive audience. She’s on a lot of drugs still, so Alex feels maybe she’s only seeing certain a portion of Tobin’s true nature. With Tobin admitting that she could become distant during her rehab, it makes Alex take just a tiny step back. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be with Tobin, because she does, it’s just that she’s not sure she knows the true, complete, healthy Tobin just yet. 

She doesn’t set a timeline of when she should evaluate these feelings again, instead, she adopts Tobin’s go with the flow attitude. I’ll just enjoy the ride, enjoy being with her and sees how it plays out without falling in love with her. Yep, she thinks, as she closes her eyes, that’s what I’ll do. Go with the flow. Do not fall in love with her. 

 

Alex wakes to Tobin’s feet moving, her hips shifting and her mumbling incoherently. She listens to see if she can understand what Tobin is saying but her words are garbled. “Sssshhhhhh,” Alex whispers in her ear, hoping that would calm her. Instead, it only agitates her more. 

“Stop,” she pants, “don’t.” She reaches out away from the couch as if trying to grab onto something. Alex feels Tobin’s hips shift as she begins to slide off the couch. She frantically grabs at her, steadying her as Tobin slides in front of her on her side. 

“I got you,” she says in her ear, “you’re safe.” 

“Lex,” Tobin cries out, still trapped in her dream, panic in her voice, “no, Lex, please, don’t go.” She cries. 

“I’m right here,” she rasps in her ear. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Run!” Tobin clearly says, her voice laced with fear. 

“Tobin, wake up.” Alex says firmly as she rubs her arm a little forcefully. “Come on, wake up.” Tobin responds with a full body flinch that almost sends her off the couch if not for Alex hanging onto her hip. She hears Tobin panting, loudly breathing through her mouth, her hand clutching Alex’s as if her life depends on it. 

Alex just whispers that she’s safe in her ear, calming her as she comes to and aware of her surroundings. 

Tobin remains quiet for a long time as her breathing returns to normal. Just when Alex is wondering if she’s fallen back asleep, Tobin speaks. 

“I think I need to talk to someone about this.” She says, her voice uneven and rough. She puts her arm down and sits up alongside Alex’s prone body. She rubs her eyes and swipes under her nose with the back of her hand. She pulls the oxygen line out and carelessly flicks it away. 

“They’re getting worse.” She says, eyes down, frown on her face. 

“Okay,” Alex says, “that sounds like a good idea.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says sharply as she looks around, stands up and hops over to grab her crutches and crutch out of the room to the bathroom. 

Alex sits up and feels a little helpless. 

Tobin returns shortly, her hair pulled back, face pale, eyes dry, yet still red rimmed and face recently washed. 

“I’m sorry.” Tobin says apologetically as she sits next to Alex on the couch. 

“You had a nightmare, you have nothing to apologize for.” Alex states firmly, leaning into her. 

“You know I would understand if you wanted to take a step back from me until I can get my head straight.” Tobin says quietly. 

“What?” Alex says sharply. “No, I do not want to take a step back from you. Where is this coming from?” 

Tobin is looking down at her lap, fingers nervously stroking her quad. Her good foot is tapping the floor, knee bouncing rapidly. 

“I’m a mess,” she starts, her voice cracking, “I have nightmares, I fall asleep on you, I feel like a zombie, I’m such a drag. I wouldn’t want to be with me right now.” 

Alex waits, giving Tobin a minute to continue if she wants. “Do you not want to be around me?” she asks quietly. 

Tobin’s head turns fast to face her. “I do, I really do, but I thought…” she says earnestly, her eyes big as she trails off, looking down again. 

Alex puts her arm around Tobin, squeezing gently. “Come on, babe,” Alex says, shaking her gently, “what is it?” 

She feels Tobin’s shoulders beginning to heave, “I just feel so helpless!” she exclaims as the tears begin, “I can’t fucking do anything for myself!” she brings her hands to face and leans forward as she sobs. 

Alex grips Tobin’s shoulder harder and brings her other arm around to lean Tobin into her chest. It’s an ugly crying, loud and sharp, filling in with hiccups and shudders and choking cries. Alex rubs her back to soothe her, just letting her get these emotions out. It takes a while for Tobin to calm herself, shuddering as she tries to stifle her cries. 

Eventually she tires out, whimpering softly as she begins to wipes her eyes. 

Alex pulls her back so she can look at her. Tobin doesn’t make eye contact, her shoulders slumped, feeling defeated and exhausted. She’s still breathing heavy, a trail of spit coming out from her lips, hands shaking. Alex lays her head on Tobin’s shoulder as she continues to rub her back. She feels Tobin lean her head against hers and let out a deep sigh. 

“I, I, don’t know where that ca- came from,” Tobin says with a shaky voice and bewildered tone. She shudders again. Panic sets in, and she flinches and looks at Alex. “I’m so sorry,” she begins, “I’ll get my stuff and get out of here, I’m sorry,” 

“Hey, hey,” Alex soothes, “just relax,” Alex says, “just sit a minute and settle down, okay? You’re fine, this is fine, I think I understand what’s going on.” 

Fresh tears appear on Tobin’s cheeks, she’s nodding her head and crosses her arms to hold herself with her shaky hands. 

“Just sit back for a minute, alright?” Alex asks, as she loosens her grip on her, “Just sit here and I’ll be right back.” She stands and pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and drapes it across Tobin’s chest. 

She goes to the kitchen and grabs a washcloth, runs the faucet to get some warm water and then places it under the water. She wrings it out and grab the box of Kleenex and her phone on the way back. She sits down next to Tobin who has regained her composure. She looks cold and shaky still, sitting quietly with downcast eyes. 

Alex hands her the washcloth and Tobin mumbles a thanks and wipes her eyes and face and cleans herself up. Alex then offers the Kleenex and Tobin blows her nose gently, wincing slightly as she does. 

“Okay?” Alex asks softly taking her hand and squeezing. “Alright, just listen if any of these apply, okay?” 

Tobin nods, finally looking at her with dull, tired eyes. 

Alex opens her phone and types something in, throws a glance at her and then speaks. 

“Nausea, dry mouth, thirst, nightmares, unusual thoughts, moodiness, loss of appetite, headaches, tiredness, drowsiness.” She looks at her when she’s finished. “ Any of these sound familiar?” 

Tobin’s eyes grow wide, her lips part. 

“This,” Alex gestures at her, “this isn’t you, Tobin. Those are just a few of the side effects from Percocet. This is the drugs. They’re fucking you up right now, so tomorrow we need to get you safely off them and onto to something else that won’t mess you up like this.” 

“I” Tobin starts. 

Alex cuts her off, “Please don’t say you’re sorry. It’s not your fault. If anything, I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took me this long to see how it was affecting you. I think you’ve lost even more weight, you’re becoming a nervous wreck and I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

Tobin lets out a sigh, looking at her with hope in her tired eyes, “You really think so?"

“I do,” Alex states firmly. “You weren’t like this last week, Perry didn’t mention you having these issues except some nightmares, Lauren and HAO didn’t seem to think you were way off, so, logically, I think it’s the Percocet. It’s a dangerous drug. Useful, but dangerous. There’s a host of other drugs you can be put on that won’t affect you like this.” 

Tobin nods slowly, slouching back into the couch. 

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to overstep, but would you let me talk about this to your doctor tomorrow?” Alex asks hesitantly, feeling insecure. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “you’d explain it better than me,” she closes her eyes. 

“Why don’t you take a little nap?” Alex suggests, “we’ve got time to still go to the art walk if you want,” 

“Thank you,” Tobin replies, reaching for her hand and bringing it to her lips to kiss it, “I can't tell you how much I appreciate how understanding you are,” 

Alex nods and smiles at her, “I’ll get you some pillows and get you set up,” 

“Thanks,” Tobin replies, looking at her with squinty eyes. 

 

 

 

“Hey, Lex?” Tobin calls out from where she’s standing, “Check this out.” She says, she’s leaning on her crutches, leafing through a book. Stosh sitting comfortably on her shoulder, looking around the shade tent filled with leatherworks they’re browsing at the Art Walk. 

Alex moves to her side, “What’s up?” she asks, laying a hand on her back.

Tobin closes the book to show her the cover, it’s leatherbound with a fine tooled Art Deco style design on the front. “Do you like this?” she looks at her, handing it over for her to inspect. 

Alex takes from her and flips through it, seeing the empty pages and realizing it’s a journal. “Yeah, I like the cover, it’s cool.” She smiles at her. 

Tobin tilts her head, “Do you think we can make this our little book for each other?” she asks quietly. 

Remembering their car conversation and Tobin asking her about writing their hard to say feelings, she nods and gives her a smile. “I do, I love it,” she says, thinking that maybe this book isn’t all she loves as she looks at her. So much for not falling in love with her, she thinks to herself. 

Tobin gives her a shy smile, “I love it too,” she replies with a hushed tone and an urgency that makes Alex think she might be feeling the same way. “For us.” She says, placing her hand lightly on the journal that Alex is holding. This book represents a future with Alex to Tobin. It excites her to think they have one together. 

Alex nods slowly and placing her other hand over Tobin's. “For us.” 

The grin at each other for a moment and then Tobin sticks her hand on her pocket to pull out her wallet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Thorns- you make my heart soar! Tobin getting the start and an assist! What? How storybook is her life right now, huh?
> 
> Oh Chicago- you make my heart break. What a clusterfuck of a game that was. I'm thinking Rory wrecked the team chemistry sitting the starters last week. Bit him in the ass big time. No connection on the field, Alyssa with some shit distribution- a rare for her and an uncharacteristic showing by the team. 
> 
> Nexy week is gonna be a showdown! Can't wait. Who you pulling for?


	23. You've Got It Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has a good couple of doctor visits. Perry comes for a surprise visit. Tobin is dealing with her medication issues.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, huh?” Alex nudges Tobin. 

“No, that went really well,” Tobin says from the casting chair she’s sitting in. They’re waiting for the cast to set up and harden, Tobin choosing a black wrap. 

Tobin’s visit with the oral surgeon went better than her first check-up. She did have an adjustment, but it wasn’t nearly as painful as before. Since the swelling has gone down, her jaw has been feeling much better. The mouth strips that Alex got her have let her mouth sores heal and she’s feeling good. She was still looking at around five more weeks with her mouth wired shut. 

The visit with Dr. Bre went even better with the doctor bringing up the change of meds first and allowing Tobin to easily talk about how she felt being on the Percocet and what she thought were the side effects she was suffering from. Alex was proud of Tobin for speaking up, getting the feeling that she would normally defer to the Doctor and just along with whatever she said. 

Dr. Bre signed off a new prescription for Norco with special instructions for Tobin to taper down taking the Percocet each day for the next week. She didn’t want her to just abruptly stop taking them and switch over to the Norco. She was alarmed at Tobin’s weight loss and would have Naomi create a new plan to get her back up to a healthy weight. 

Beckie came in and reviewed the exercises Tobin could start doing now that she was in a cast. It was a variety of leg lifts. She put Tobin through a variety of flexibility exercises, monitoring her torso movement closely seeing how her ribs felt. Tobin had gained a more movement but it was still painful and limited her into Beckie giving her any more rehab assignments. The bruises were fading and her face now almost clear except for a slight black left eye. 

“I’m really proud of how you handled yourself with Dr. Bre.” Alex says softly, sitting in a chair next to her. 

“Yeah, well,” Tobin says, looking down and picking at some fuzz on her sweatpants, “talking with you yesterday really helped me.” She looks up, shooting her a grateful smile. 

Alex smiles back. “I’m glad,” 

“Me too.” Tobin smiles, holding her gaze. “What do you want to do after this?” 

“Eat.” Alex says definitively. 

“We eat, then.” Tobin nods. 

“I know just where I want to take you.” Alex grins. 

“Oh yeah?” Tobin asks, “where’s that?” 

“Not telling.” Alex shakes her head, “Hope you haven’t been there.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be great.” Tobin says, as Stosh pops his head up and looks around. He crawls out of the pouch and lays on Tobin’s slouched chest as she lounges on the tilted casting chair. 

 

 

“This is really good,” Tobin says as she sips her smoothie. They’re at a sandwich shop in a different part of town that Tobin’s never really explored. Alex is eating a chicken a wrap that Tobin really wishes she could taste. It looks delicious. 

They’re sitting at an outside table, enjoying a surprisingly warm October day. Tobin is spoon feeding Stosh at the table as she has her smoothie. Tobin has to stop by the vet and get his dressings checked and his stitches removed tomorrow. He’s been exploring his world a little more each day, growing more curious and brave to climb all over Tobin and settle into his perch on her shoulder. 

It just delights Tobin that this little guy is so friendly and so far showing no fear. That’s her biggest hope for him- to not be afraid. 

She looks up quickly at Alex, “Wanna help me give him a bath this week?” she asks. 

“Really?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, I want him to like water so we can go to the beach and stuff.” Tobin explains. She turns her head to give him a sniff, “plus he could probably use one.” 

“Yeah, let’s figure out a night that would work.” Alex agrees. 

“Yeah, so let’s talk about what this week looks like for us, huh?” Tobin asks. She’s trying, really trying to be open and communicate with Alex. She’s determined to stay balanced and she wants Alex to know that. She doesn’t ever want Alex feel she neglects her. 

Alex nods her head as she’s chewing on her wrap. 

“So, right now, my therapy is pretty basic and I can do it at home.” She says, her eyes bright. “So, like, evenings would be free if we wanted to get together during the week.” 

“That would be cool,” Alex agrees, “I can come over a few nights,” 

“I could Uber over,” Tobin offers, “hopefully I’ll be driving soon.” 

“Yeah, probably not until you’re off the pain killers.” Alex reasons. 

Tobin nods, frowning. “Yeah, you’re right.” She looks at her. “Can I take you to dinner one night this week?” 

“You want to take me out? To dinner?” Ale asks with a grin. “Like, a date?” 

“Yes, Alex Morgan,” Tobin smiles confidently, “I want to take you on a date. Would you like to go?” 

Alex nods. “Yes, I’d like to go on a date with you, Tobin Heath.” 

“Great, let’s agree on a night later and I’ll figure it all out.” Tobin grins. 

“Sounds good to me.” Alex smiles. 

 

 

 

They’re on the couch having a heated make out session when Tobin hears the knock at the door. She breaks free of Alex as the knocking persists. 

“Coming!” she yells as loud as she can, hearing Alex mutter “or not,” as she crutches to the door. 

“Perry!” she greets as her sister enters, “What are you doing here?” 

She leans in and hugs her sister. 

“I’m here to see how you’re doing.” She looks her over, “You’re too skinny and nice hair.” 

Tobin hand shoots up to her head, smoothing out the wildness from Alex having her hands in it. 

“Hey Alex, how are you?” Perry asks as she enters the living room. Alex was smoothing her shirt down as she stood up, guilt etched across her face. Perry grins, realizing she has interrupted something. 

“I’m good,” Alex replies hugging her. “It’s so nice to see you again.” She sees Tobin gesturing to her hair from behind Perry. Alex smoothes it down casually. 

“So,” Perry gives them a Cheshire cat grin, “what have you guys been up to?” 

“Uh, just hanging out.” Tobin replies casually. “Hey, you’ve got to meet Stosh!” she says as she crutches over to the enclosure Alex had brought and scoops him out. She puts him on her shoulder and crutches over to Perry. 

“Perry,” she grins, “meet my little guy, Stosh.” 

“Oh, he’s adorable, Tobin!” Perry gushes. “Can I?” she gestures to pick him up. Tobin nods and Perry carefully plucks him from her shoulder. 

“Hi little guy, how are you?” Perry asks, holding him close to her chest. Stosh adorably chirps back at her making her laugh. 

“He’s a talker,” Alex comments. 

“He’s so cute!” Perry grins. She looks at Tobin and sees her pride and beaming smile. “He’s gonna be a lady killer, Tobs.” She says. 

“He already is,” Alex laughs, “he’s got me hooked.” 

“And some Thorns,” Tobin adds, leaning on her crutches. Alex leaves the living room and heads to the kitchen. 

“Perry, would you like something to drink?” she asks as she opens the fridge to grab a couple of water bottles. 

“Sure, a water is fine,” she replies. Alex grabs another one and hands it to her. She goes back to the counter and begins to measure out Tobin’s pain medication. She still is taking the Percocet for the day, just two more doses, then tomorrow they will start weaning her off it. Dr. Bre had taken her off the steroids and anti-inflammatories as well. 

Perry is eying Alex as she pulls a chair out at the kitchen table. “Off some of your meds?” she asks Tobin. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies with a nod of her head, “just on pain meds now.” 

“That’s great,” Perry comments. 

“Yeah, well,” Tobin begins, scratching at the back of her neck, “I’m having some side effects from the Percocet, so this week I’ll be transitioning to Norco until I’m on that full time.” 

“Side effects? Like what kind of side effects?” Perry asks, alarmed. 

“Loss of appetite, some intense nightmares, some uh,” Tobin’s eyes shift downwards, “some mood swings.” 

Perry looks at her sister and then throws a glance at Alex. “Oh,” she says, still looking at Alex. Alex replies silently with a tight smile and nod of her head with a shrug. 

“Yeah, the nightmares were getting bad, just really messing with me.” Tobin continues, Perry sitting back in her chair, surprised by her sister’s sharing. “I, um, I was getting a little too emotional about stuff, and Alex,” she looks up at Alex and gives her a big smile, “Alex was the one who realized it was the drugs. I’d still be a mess if it wasn’t for her.” 

Alex gives her a shy smile in return. 

“I see,” Perry says, drawing out the words as she glances at the two women, who are still staring at each other. “So, you’re just going to start taking one less dose of it each day?” she questions. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs happily, smile still on her face, still looking at Alex. Alex delivers her med cup and water bottle and sits down next to her. 

Perry lets Stosh down on the table and they watch as he totters around, checking out the perimeter of the table and sitting in front of Alex. Alex strokes his fur and he starts to purr. Tobin gets up and fetches some food paste for Stosh, showing off his eating skills at the table and filling his belly before she naps. She’s getting drowsy as she sits, just staring at Stosh as he licks her finger, zoning out. She feels a nudge in her shoulder from Alex. 

“Babe,” she says, leaning close to her, “let’s get you ready for your nap.” Tobin nods and Perry scoops Stosh in her arms and compliments the enclosure as she places him in it.  
Tobin gets settles on the couch and looks up at Alex with half open eyes, “You’re not napping?” she asks sleepily. 

“No,” Alex says as she strokes the side of Tobin’s head, “I’m going to visit with Perry and let her know what your week looks like.” 

“Okay,” Tobin sighs and shuts her eyes. Alex affixes the oxygen line on her and walks down the hall to the guest room where Perry is unpacking. 

“How bad was she?” Perry asks, not turning around as she throws some shirts into the dresser drawer. 

“It wasn’t like, awful,” Alex says, “she just wasn’t the same as last week, you know? Then, she was pretty drugged out but even keel, not super emotional, her nightmares weren’t so graphic. I think she started stretching out taking her meds, telling me it was so she would stay awake, but I really think deep down, she didn’t want to sleep.” 

“Huh,” Perry says, sitting on the bed facing Alex, “she never said anything to me,” 

“I don’t think she really realized she was doing it,” Alex offers. “I mean, it’s like pulling teeth to get her to talk about it and then she was sobbing, and I could feel her vertebrae on her back and noticed how skinny she was getting. I remembered her half full shakes and her brushing off being hungry. That’s when I sort of put two and two together and then I looked up the side effects of Percocet and it clicked.”

“Do you think she needs to talk to a therapist or someone?” Perry asks sensibly. 

“Uh, maybe?” Alex shrugs, “I don’t know. Maybe she’ll feel much better on the Norco and she won’t feel so out of control.” 

“I bet it helps that she got her cast on,” Perry states. 

Alex nods, “Probably. I think she needs to do more things for herself. She said something about feeling so helpless.” 

“Well,” Perry smiles, “I can put her work.” 

They visit and talk and learn more about each other and enjoy getting to know one another. Perry gives her some tips on Tobin’s personality, like how she gets nervous and bounces her knee and how she can get hyper focused on things. That leads to Alex sharing with her that she and Tobin had already discussed that tendency and have compromised to talk about their feelings to make sure they stay on the same page about their relationship. 

Perry is pleasantly surprised and tells Alex so. 

“I think she’s really making an effort, Perry.” Alex says, “Do you think Tobin would normally share with you so easily about her nightmares and stuff?” 

Perry nods, “I think you’re a very positive impact on Tobin.” She smiles at her. 

Alex blushes, “She’s really great too, she is so kind and gentle…” she trails off. 

Perry is nodding and smiling at her. “It’s okay,” she says, lifting herself off from the bed, “what do you say we get dinner going?” 

“Yeah,” Alex breathes out, grateful for Perry recognizing her struggle to speak. 

 

 

The three have a terrific dinner together, laughing about silly stories from college, Perry telling embarrassing stories about married life and her husband. After dinner, Tobin washes the dishes while Alex dries and Perry puts them away. Perry shares that she’s staying until Thursday afternoon. While she’s here, she wants to see how well Tobin can fend for herself now that her cast was on or if anyone should come out and stay with her and give her a hand. 

“I can fend for myself,” Tobin says a little defensively. “Why would you say that?” 

“Tobs, look, Mom just wants” 

“No, you look,” Tobin says angrily, cutting her off. “I can take care of myself.” She says loudly, anger mounting. “There. I said it, so you can go home whenever now.” 

Alex sits there with wide eyes on the couch next to her. Perry, confused from this outburst is trying to control her anger. She takes a deep breath. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she says placatingly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin snorts, “You’ve always felt I can’t take care of myself, this isn’t anything new.” She mutters as she grabs her crutches and heads to her room. 

Alex and Perry stare at each other in confusion. “Was what I said that bad?” 

Alex shakes her slowly, “I didn’t think so,” 

“She’s always so easy going,” Perry says, genuinely upset that she upset her sister. “Is this the mood swings?” 

“Maybe,” Alex admits, unsure herself if it is. She doesn’t know the backstory of Tobin’s relationship with Perry but from what she’s seen it makes her think that this really could be Tobin experiencing a side effect from the Percocet. 

Their heads turn in unison to look down the hall when they hear the sound of sobbing. Alex and Perry both get up at the same time, “You go,” Alex offers, not wanting to get in between them. 

“Are you sure?” Perry asks. 

“Yeah, I think she needs her sister for this one,” Alex says, giving her a small smile and encouraging head nod. 

Perry takes another deep breath and strides to Tobin’s room. Alex can hear some soft murmuring over the sobbing and wonders what brought on this episode for Tobin. She grabs her phone to pull up some ideas about mood swings from medication and starts to read. She’s concentrating on the article she found when she hears Perry’s voice. 

“Alex!” Perry voice calls, full of panic and fear. 

Alex drops her phone on the couch as she speeds to the bedroom. As she swings into the room, one hand on the doorjamb to hang onto, she sees Tobin sitting on the edge of the bed, gasping for breath with a hand on her chest and the other one gripping the comforter. Perry is squatting in front of her, her face showing panic. 

Alex darts out and runs down the hallway to the living room, grabbing the oxygen, unplugging the compressor and sloppily pulling the line with her as she trots back to the room. She looks around wildly, seeking an open outlet. She finds one and quickly shoves the plug in and brings it around to the floor next to Tobin. 

Tobin’s still struggling to catch her breath. Her chest heaving s she tries desperately to breath. Alex fixes the line under her nose and turns on the compressor. She raises the oxygen level a little and lays a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. 

“It’s alright,” she soothes, “you’ve got the oxygen in, just try to relax.” 

She turns to Perry, “What happened?” she asks quietly. 

“She was crying and I was just trying to comfort her and then she started breathing heavy and then couldn’t get her breath,” Perry explains, eyes wide and full of fear. 

Alex nods, “Okay, Tobin, just chill out a little, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay,” she says softly as she takes Tobin’s free hand and grips it tightly. “I think you’re having a little panic attack, you’ll be fine.” 

Tobin is looking at her through half open eyes, fear evident. She’s looking exhausted and her breaths are getting longer and slower, making a deep rattle as she inhales. Tears are streaming down her face as she continues to steadily take deep breaths. Her hand on her chest is shaking and Alex can feel the one in her hand is as well. It’s tearing Alex apart to see Tobin like this and she just wants to take her in her arms and will it away for her. 

“You’re doing really good, you’re doing great,” Alex soothes, rubbing her hand down Tobin’s arm. She’s moved to her knees in front of Tobin. Perry, now on the bed slowing rubbing Tobin’s back. Tobin keeps eye contact with her as she speaks. 

“Okay, you’re almost there, just keep breathing, it’s almost over,” Alex instructs encouragingly. Tobin nods as she breaths, squeezing Alex’s hand. 

“There you go,” Alex smiles as Tobin begins to breathe normally, “it’s over, okay?” Tobin nods silently, eyes downcast. 

“Perry, would you get Tobin some water please?” Alex turns to ask her. Perry nods and flies out of the room. 

Alex lifts Tobin’s chin, “Just relax for a minute or two, okay?” she asks. “I’m going to run out to my Jeep and get my bag, I just want to check you out and make sure you’re alright, okay? I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay,” Tobin replies, her voice low and raspy. 

Alex leans forward and plants a quick kiss on her lips, “Just stay right here and I’ll be back real quick.” 

 

 

When Alex returns, Tobin is lethargic. She looks exhausted and absolutely wore out. Alex quickly checks her pulse, blood pressure and heart rate to assure herself and Perry that Tobin is okay. She listens to her lungs to make sure they are clear, satisfied with her quick exam, she squats in front Tobin again. 

“You want to lay down?” she asks her. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, blinking slowly. 

“Okay, we’ll set you up,” Alex smiles. “Perry, would you stack these pillows?” 

“Yeah, like this?” Perry asks as she stacks them near the headboard. 

Tobin clutches Alex forearm tightly. “Please stay?” she asks, her voice cracking and tears forming. 

Alex glances at Perry who nods her head vigorously as she comes around to Tobin’s side. 

“I’m going to hang out with Stosh for a while, okay? I want to bond with my new nephew. You get some rest.” She says as she runs a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. 

“I’m just going to show her where his food is so she can feed him while we nap and then I’ll be right back, okay?” Alex says. Tobin nods. “Let’s get you settled and I’ll be in here lickety split.” 

Alex and Perry help Tobin get into the bed and pull the comforter over her. The two leave the room and Alex shows her where Stosh’s food is and quickly fills her in and his feeding and bathroom deal. “We’ll talk later, but I think that was moodiness that escalated into a panic attack,” Alex says, “has she had then before?” 

“Not that I know of,” Perry shakes her head. 

Alex gives her a hug, feeling bad she’s so upset, “Hopefully once she’s off the Percs she’ll be better, if not, we’ll get her some help, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Perry says, wiping her eyes. 

“Will you wake me in a couple of hours?” Alex asks, “We’ll need to get her up and ready for bed.” 

“Okay,” Perry smiles and hugs her, “I’m so grateful you’re here,” 

Alex side trips into the spare room and grabs some extra pillows and enters the bedroom. Tobin is lying on the bed, stiff as a board, looking up at the ceiling through her half open eyes. Without moving her head, she tracks Alex’s movements as she places the pillows right next to Tobin and settles in under the covers. 

“Come here,” Alex says opening her arm and inviting Tobin to slide over. Tobin slides over slowly and awkwardly until she’s on Alex’s chest, gripping her side. 

They’re silent for a minute, Alex pulling Tobin’s hair free from the hair tie, softly scratching her scalp at the base of her neck. She feels Tobin stiffen. 

“Lex?” her voice low and slurry, “what is happening to me?” she starts to cry softly. 

“Sssshhhh,” Alex coos, “this is the drugs, but you’re taking less of them and soon it will be over. It’s just the side effects, you’ll be fine.” 

“I hate it,” Tobin says miserably. 

“I know, babe, I know,” Alex says quietly, “just relax and let me hold you, okay? Let’s take a little nap.” 

She feels and hears Tobin let out a deep sigh and she mumbles a quiet, “M’kay,” moving her head a little to settle on Alex’s chest. 

Sleep doesn’t come to Alex. She lays there, playing with Tobin’s hair and stroking her back absentmindedly as she thinks. She wonders how Tobin will tolerate getting off the Perc or if she will show signs of withdrawal. She doesn’t think she will, but people all react differently to drugs. She doesn’t really know that much about it, how long people can be on it before they feel a dependency, she hasn’t noticed Tobin acting that way. If anything, Tobin’s been anxious to get off them. 

She lets out a sigh of her own. She’s frustrated that she can’t do anything for Tobin except be here. Should I stay the night, she wonders. Probably not. Perry should have some time with her. She doesn’t want to intrude on any sister time. 

She’ll only stay if Tobin asks her to, she decides. She can just get up earlier to get home and get ready for work. Stosh. Perry can handle him, he’ll be fine. Hopefully when she gets up, Tobin will feel better and they can talk about what’s going on. I wonder if she’s had panic attacks before and never said anything to Perry. It happens, she reason, nobody likes to admit they have an issue, and Tobin being a pro athlete, she could imagine her keeping something like that to herself. 

Alex slowly finds herself getting sleepy so she shuts her eyes and tries to turn off her brain. She focuses on Tobin’s breathing and matches her inhales and exhales, slowing herself down and relaxing. 

 

A gentle shake of her shoulder has Alex fluttering her eyes open. Perry’s looking down at her, “It’s been a couple hours, it’s almost nine,” she says quietly. 

“Should we wake her?” Perry inquires, looking at her expectantly. 

“Probably,” Alex says, “she’ll never sleep tonight if we don’t, right?” 

Perry nods, “I’ll let you get her up,” she says and exits the room. 

“Babe,” Alex says as she gently rubs Tobin’s arm, “babe, come on, time to get up.” 

She feels Tobin sigh as she shifts a little. “Come on sweetheart, let’s get up.” She rubs her arm a little harder. Tobin lets out a soft moan, moving her head, sighing and then lifting it to look at Alex. 

“Hi,” she says sleepily, giving her a crooked smile. 

“Hi babe,” Ale replies, stroking the hair from her face, “how are you feeling?” Alex watches as Tobin’s expression goes from sleepy to aware of the events from earlier. A flash of panic crosses her face, her eyes go wide, then soften as she blushes from embarrassment and she looks down. “Okay,” she mumbles. 

“Babe,” Alex says tenderly, “please don’t,” she embraces her with both her arms, “talk to me, sweetheart,” she urges. 

Tobin looks at her, studying her as if she’s weighing if she can actually let her in. Alex watches as Tobin swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “I feel like an idiot,” she admits, “I just, like, snap and then after I realize what I said and I feel awful. I don’t know where it comes from.” She lays her head back down on Alex’s chest. “It really scares me,” 

“Is there someone on the Thorns staff you’d feel comfortable talking to about it?” Alex asks gently, “Maybe you’d feel better.” 

“I think I need to,” Tobin admits, looking back up at her again, “I don’t like feeling like this.”

“Okay,” Alex says, nodding. 

Tobin looks around, “What time is it?” 

“Almost nine,” Alex replies softly. 

“Oh,” she answers, pulling herself up, “you need to get home so you can go to work tomorrow,” she slowly peels herself from Alex, unhooking the oxygen and sitting sideways on the bed.

“It’s not that late, it’s okay,” Alex smiles. “I’ll take snuggling with you anytime,” 

Tobin flashes her a quick smile. “We should check on Stosh,” she says as she swings her legs to the side of the bed, “I bet he’s got Perry hooked already.” She reaches for her crutches and stands up, extending a hand to Alex. Alex takes it and gets out of the bed, Tobin pulling her into a tight embrace. 

Tobin sighs as she hugs her, relaxing her body against Alex. “You mean so much to mean Alex Morgan,” she whispers in her ear, “I really don’t know what I’d be doing or how I could get through this without you.” She moves her head and kisses her softly on the lips. 

Alex pulls back and looks at her, “Tobin Heath,” she says smiling, “you’re an incredible woman and I feel so lucky that you want to spend your time with me.” She leans in and kisses her back. 

“Lex,” Tobin whispers, looking at her intently, “I really, really, really like you,” she says, emphasizing each really. 

“And I really, really, really like you.” Alex replies. She hugs her tightly and then pulls back. “Come on, let’s see how Perry and Stosh are doing.” She gives her a quick kiss. 

“Okay,” Tobin nods. 

 

“I’m really sorry,” Tobin says, embracing Perry in a hug, “I don’t know what that was,” 

Perry pulls back and places her palms on Tobin’s checks, holding her face in place. “It’s okay, T, it’s okay,” she puts an arm around her. “It’s gonna be okay” she says firmly, squeezing her shoulder. Tobin nods her head. 

“So, I’m in love with your little guy,” Perry announces with a smile. “He talks so much, like you can have a conversation with him.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “he’s got a lot to say. Is he asleep?” 

“Yeah, sacked out on his little bed.” Perry replies. 

“Did he climb up on you?” Alex asks Perry. 

She smiles nodding her head, “Yeah, right up on my shoulder.” 

“That’s his new spot.” Alex nods, grinning. 

Perry heads off to the kitchen, opening the freezer, “You got any ice cream?” 

“I have no clue,” Tobin shrugs. 

Alex turns to her, “You going to be alright tonight?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, putting a hand on her back. “You gonna head out?” 

“Yeah if you think you’re good.” Alex answers, looking at her. Tobin gives her small smile, “I will be,” she says, leaning over to kiss her.

“Okay,” Alex smiles. She shifts and hugs her. “I hope you have a good night, babe. I’ll text you when I get a minute at work. Not sure how busy I’ll be.”

“Thanks,” Tobin relies, brushing her lips against her lips. “I’ll be around Taking Stosh to see Lisa, and then whatever. You got something special going tomorrow at work?’ 

“Not really, sometimes my boss decides I need to take a day hike and check out different areas. So, I’m not always sure what my day looks like.” She shrugs. 

“Well, have a good day and be careful, okay?” Tobin asks as she kisses her again. 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way after work, alright?” Alex says. 

“Sounds good,” Tobin smiles. 

Alex says goodbye to Perry and then heads out. 

Perry laughs as Tobin crutches back from seeing Alex out. “Oh, you have it bad,” she says. 

Tobin looks at her and gives her a crooked grin, “I do,” she says, “so bad.”


	24. Fish Tacos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex comes over for dinner with Perry and Tobin. A little silliness ensues as well as some serious talk.

The next morning Alex is shuffling through the permits coming in for winter camping when she hears she chirp of her phone indicating a text message. She looks and sees it’s from Tobin. She opens her phone, smiling at her lock screen which is the photo of Tobin wrapped in the heating blanket. 

Tobito Burrito: I miss you. Hope you’re having a good morning. 

Alex smiles and replies: I miss you too, it’s kind of slow but not bad. How’s your morning going? 

Tobito Burrito: Just finished my therapy, gonna shower and get ready to take Stosh to the vet. 

Alex smirks: try not to think of my hands and lips all over you while you shower. Have a good day babe! 

Tobito Burrito: Really? Now I’ll have to take a cold shower. See you later babe. 

Alex smiles and puts her phone back in her pocket. She daydreams for a little bit, thinking of Tobin and how sweet she is. She can’t wait for her jaw to be healed, Tobin’s so soft and gentle with her she can’t imagine how she’ll make her feel when she can totally do what she wants with her. She squirms in her chair a little thinking about how Tobin slowly broke her down and practically had her begging and that was just with her lips and fingers. I can’t wait for her to use her tongue on me, she thinks lustfully. 

The main doors swing open and Jerry walks in, startling Alex, whistling a tune as he strides to the desk. “What’s going on?” he inquires. 

“Oh,” Alex says, shuffling the permits, “just going through the winter permits. I was checking the names to see if any looked familiar in a negative way.” They try to avoid having problem campers return to the park. 

“Anyone jump out at you?” Jerry asks. Alex has a sharp memory and can usually tell him who was an issue before he logs in his computer to cross check their incident reports. 

“No,” Alex shakes her head, “there’s a bunch of them from out of state, so that’s interesting.” 

“Huh,” he says. He puts his elbows on the high desk and leans over towards her, “So, how are things with you?” he asks giving her a cheesy grin. “Took a couple of days, eh? Do anything interesting?” 

Alex’s face turns a light shade of red. It’s true Jerry is her boss, but he’s also a very good friend. “Uh, a friend of mine needed some help and I know we’re slow here, so…” she trails off. 

“Uh huh,” Jerry smiles knowingly. “Come on, tell me, how is Tobin?” he asks earnestly. 

Alex looks at him and realizes he’s being serious. “She’s good.” She says. 

“Good or like good?” he asks, emphasizing the second good and wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Jer!” Alex reprimands him. 

He smiles back at her. “Listen, I’ve known you for quite some time. I truly haven’t seen you this happy so I want to know how it’s going, okay? I’m old and married and I didn’t get to see you or her Saturday night so I want to know.” 

Alex sits back in her chair. “It’s going really good, Jer.” She says and reaches for her coffee mug and takes a sip, “It’s not without some bumps along the way, but she is an incredible person and I really like her.” 

Jerry walks around the desk to sit down next to her. “Bumps?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, first off, she’s recovering from some serious injuries and is on some heavy duty drugs so our ‘dates’” she air quotes, “are unconventional in that we mostly just hang out. And that’s fine,” she adds quickly, “but as she heals I’m learning more of the true Tobin, you know? So, it’s just a little different than any other relationship I’ve had, but in a good way.” 

Jerry nods his head. “Okay, so that’s a bump, you said bumps, what else?” he’s not letting her off the hook. 

Alex takes a deep breath as she contemplates how to answer him. “We met before, a long time ago when I was a teenager. I was invited to the U-17 soccer camp and she was really nice to me. Like, extraordinarily sweet, she introduced me to the team, she calmed me down when I was nervous. It’s like she had this wisdom beyond her years, knowing I’d be unsure of myself and going out of her way to make me feel comfortable and welcomed to the team.” 

“Fast forward to finding her in that shelter. Jer, I don’t know how she had the strength to make it. It was really impressive, and knowing she did it with the injuries she has…” she shakes her head. “She’s really strong, not just physically, but mentally. She was stoic about her injuries, she never complained, you know how some of our rescues go, they can be demanding and treat us like shit and be assholes about everything. But she fucking offered me tea when I got there and later she offered me her food and all it did was make me want to help her even more. It didn’t matter that she was ‘Tobin Heath- soccer player,’ it was truly because of how she treated me. I wanted to treat her the best I could because I knew she was really hurting. And when I found out the circumstances of her getting pushed off the trail from people she trusted, I wanted to protect her.”  


She runs a hand through her ponytail. “She’s so considerate to me, about, like, everything. She depends on me right now, but she’s always grateful and, and thankful and makes me feel special. Just last night, her sister is staying with her and something kind of happened and she wanted me, not her sister, but me. She values me, she values my opinion, she wants to communicate and we talk about everything, I mean everything, even the parts of ourselves we don’t like. But it’s like she knows this is how it should be, we should talk and we should open ourselves up to each other.” 

She takes another drink of her coffee. “And as I get to really know her, she’s just an amazing person. She’s having some problems with nightmares and stress from what happened and she’d argue to the ends of the world with me about this, but she is handling it with such grace. She doesn’t want to stew in her issues, she wants to get through them and past them so they’re not affecting her. She’s willing to get help, like, she’s driven to get past it so she can heal fully. She’s so humble and grateful for everything I do for her, it’s like, all it does is motivate me to be there for her even more.” 

Jerry nods and gets up from his chair and makes himself a cup of coffee. He sits back down and blows on it as he smiles at her. 

Alex looks down at her desk, straightening the pen and shuffling the already perfectly stacked papers again. She looks up at him. 

“I love her.” She says quietly. “Is it crazy to feel that? My sister thinks it’s too soon. I feel like it’s too soon. Is it?” 

Jerry just smiles at her. “Now, I’m only a few years older than you,” he says slowly, in truth he was only a year younger than Alex’s father and his children were all around Alex’s age. “But when I met Mary,” he says, referring to his wife, “I knew on our second date that she was the one for me.” 

“You did?” Alex asks, her eyes wide. “How did you know?” 

“A bunch of reasons,” he says leaning back in his seat. “We met in college, we were in the same study group and hung out on weekends and whatnot. But she’d bring me coffee just how I liked it because she remembered what I liked, she knew I liked to sit in one spot in the library, she knew I was a night owl, all sorts of things. She actually asked me out for our first date.” 

“Really?” Alex asks. 

Jerry nods, “Yep. She took me to a concert. It was awesome, we sang and danced close, we had a great time. The second date, I asked her. It was a disaster. It rained, I accidently parked in a puddle and her feet got soaked, our dinner was horrible, we were late to the movie, and my car wouldn’t start to get home. But she just smiled through it, telling me it was fine, even when it clearly wasn’t. It like the Gods conspired against me that night. But at the end of the night, she asked for a kiss and wanted to know when our next date was.” 

“It didn’t matter to her what we did, it was the fact we were doing it together. She opened my eyes that it’s who you’re with that matters, not what you’re doing. That night, I knew even when I was failing miserably, she liked me for me and I loved her for it. She made me a better person because she didn’t get upset with all that went wrong, and there was plenty, she just overlooked it and had a good time.” 

“That seems so…” Alex trails off, words failing her. 

“Alex, the point is, we clicked. It could take years to click with someone, I was lucky enough to click pretty quick.” He says. 

He brings his mug up to take a drink. “Seems like you click with her and from what you’re telling me, I think she’s clicked with you.” 

“I think she has too, but she’s afraid.” Alex says quietly. “Maybe afraid isn’t the right word, maybe she’s like, she’s like, cautious. The public persona she has is this carefree wanderer, maybe a little flaky, but getting to know her, the true, private side of her, she’s very smart, very methodical and really thinks about things, you know? Like, we’ll have a conversation and she’ll be quiet after I say something because she’s thinking about it. She’s not one of those people who thinks about a reply while you’re still talking. So, maybe she’s processing it. She has so much other stuff to deal with right now.” 

“Other stuff?” Jerry asks, his eyebrows raised. 

“I mean, getting over her injuries and what Mara and Liz did to her. She’s been on heavy doses of Percocet since it happened so she’s been, like, kind of foggy. She’s much more aware this past week and it’s been amazing.” 

Jerry gives her a sly grin. “Have you two?” 

“Jer!” Alex screeches in the empty lobby, “that’s none of your business!”

He laughs. “It was that good, huh?” 

Alex tries to stare him down with a death glare but it won’t work. She can’t control the huge smile that spreads across her face. “It was amazing!” she gushes. 

 

 

 

“I just don’t trust myself yet.” Tobin says as she sips her breakfast drink. “She’s amazing in so many ways, she’s so smart about so many things, I really trust her, you know?” she looks at Perry intently. 

Then she looks down at the table, a finger on her cup, playing with the condensation. “But then, I think of what happened with Mara and Liz and I get scared. I get scared if I’m being too trusting. These pain killers fuck me up big time. What if everything I’m feeling is skewed and off because of the drugs?” 

Perry has no answer for her. 

“I want to be with her all the time. Like, I could see myself waking up next to her for the rest of my life. That fucking terrifies me and excites me at the same time. But what if the foundation of what I’m feeling is because of the fucking Percocet?” she asks, tears forming. “I don’t know what to do.” She says miserably. “I don’t want to lead her on but I don’t want to let her go.” 

“Why don’t you just sit on it for a little bit,” Perry suggests. “You’re transitioning off the Percocet this week, maybe once you’re on the Norco your head will be clearer. Until then, just go with the flow and enjoy being with Alex. You don’t have to have this figured out right now, Tobs.” 

“If anything I’ve learned about Alex, it’s that she can be patient.” Perry continues. “She’s smart, she knows about the drugs, she knows you’re not your true self right now. She might be feeling the same things but is holding back because she might not feel she really knows you yet.” 

Tobin puts her elbows on the table, holding her head in her hands. “I should just stop taking them, I fucking hate it. I sleep all the time, I’m tired all the time.” She says irritably. “This just fucking sucks right now.” 

Perry gets up and comes around to sit next to Tobin. She didn’t expect this deep heart to heart with her first thing in the morning. Tobin normally isn’t so forthcoming with her feelings but she’s been almost, too emotional lately, it seems to Perry. It kind of freaks Perry out a little. 

“Hey,” she says gently, placing her hand on Tobin’s forearm, “look at me,” she urges. Tobin slowly brings her arm down and turns her head to look at Perry. 

“It’s only been a couple of weeks since you got hurt. You could’ve died out there and your injuries are serious. Like, this isn’t just a broken ankle or something. You’ve got some serious injuries here. It’s going to take some time to heal and it’s going to take some time for you to process every that’s happened. You don’t have to have an answer to your feelings just yet. Just chill and go with the flow for a while.” 

Tobin eyes her as she speaks and nods. She takes a deep breath. “Yeah, you’re right. Unless she brings it up, I’m just gonna go with it until I’m off the drugs and feel like myself again.” Her eyes glistening as she tries to hold back her tears. 

She sits back in her chair and sighs. “I think I’m going to take a nap, I’m pretty tired.” She says and she gathers her crutches and gets up from the table. She crutches over to get Stosh who’s been running around his enclosure since he’s been fed and brings him over to the couch. She moves the pillows, gets the oxygen line and with a heavy sigh, she lays down on the couch clutching Stosh. 

Perry hears a sniffle or two from the couch as she slowly finishes her breakfast, wondering where the outburst of emotions came from her little sister. When she gets up, she puts her mug and plate in the sink and passes by Tobin on the couch. 

Tobin’s huddled under a blanket with Stosh curled up by her neck, one hand crossed over her chest to hold him gently. Her forehead is furrowed and she’s frowning slightly, lips parted with her head facing the back of the couch. Perry can see the tracks from her tears and she frowns as she watches her sleep. It doesn’t look peaceful at all. She sighs as she heads to the guest room to get dressed for the day. 

 

 

 

Tobin’s feeling better when she wakes and texts Alex to see how her day is going. She smiles during their exchange and then gets up to take her shower. She thanks Perry for being so understanding while they’re driving to the vet. 

Stosh has a great checkup, Lisa is impressed with how much weight he’s gained and how big he’s getting. She’s not sure if he’s a Maine Coon, but she thinks when his fur comes in more as he gets bigger they’ll know. Lisa removes his stitches on his missing eye and informs Tobin that he might like her to scratch it and not be freaked out by it. She’s happy with how his stump looks, removing those stitches as well and wrapping back up. She gives Tobin a roll of the bandage and instructs her to change it every other day until it runs out. 

As they chat, Stosh walks across the exam table and puts his paw on Tobin’s forearm. She stretches it out and he climbs up her arm and sits on her shoulder. Lisa thinks it’s the coolest thing ever and asks to snap a photo. 

When they leave, Perry is carrying a bottle of shampoo and some more cans of food in a bag. Tobin is crutching alongside her with Stosh nestled in the pouch of her sweatshirt. Tobin had ordered a couple more sweatshirts with pouches and this one is grey. 

They get back to Tobin’s place and she puts Stosh in his enclosure and heads to the kitchen to make lunch for Perry. Her and Perry easily banter while they eat their lunch, talking about the upcoming holidays. 

“Do you think you’re going to go to Mom’s for Thanksgiving?” Perry asks her intently.  


 Tobin shrugs and scrunches her face. “I don’t know, Per,” she says as she looks at her. “I’m not sure what I’m doing. I honestly really haven’t given it much thought lately.” 

Perry nods. “I understand,” she says. 

“Are you going?” Tobin asks her. 

“I’ve booked our flights,” she replies. 

“What about Katie and Jeff?” Tobin asks. Perry nods her head. Tobin sighs. 

“Everyone will understand if you don’t feel up to traveling Tobes.” She says gently. “You’ll probably be in pretty deep rehab by then and that’s about the time you should be getting your wires off your jaw.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Tobin sighs. “I don’t want to tell Mom that I’m not coming though,” 

“I’ll break it to her first so she won’t be surprised, how about that?” Perry suggests kindly. “She will understand, but she just loves when we’re all together.” 

“I just feel like I’m disappointing her,” Tobin says, “again.” She flicks at her eyes with a finger, looking at the tears she wiped off. “What the fuck?” she says, surprised, “I cry at everything now,” 

Perry lets out a laugh as Tobin looks at her, eyes narrowed. 

“Motherhood does that to you,” she smirks and gets up from the table, patting Tobin on her back. 

Tobin sits there for a minute looking blankly at the table and then let’s out a snort of laughter and grabs her crutches to head to the couch. 

 

 

 

“I don’t know,” Tobin says nervously as she finishes putting some shredded cheese in a small bowl, “I don’t know even know if likes fish tacos.” 

She pivots on her good foot to look in her fridge, “I’ve got some ground turkey, I can make that too, just in case,” she reasons. 

“Hey,” Perry says, she’s slightly amused by how nervous her sister is preparing dinner for her and Alex, “she likes you so I would think she loves fish tacos!” she says, inflecting her voice sarcastically. 

“Perry!” Tobin responds, her lips parted, shocked. 

Perry laughs, “Easy there, killer, I heard she ate salmon last week and had a second helping, so your chances are pretty good.” 

“When did we have salmon?” Tobin questions, her forehead furrowed, trying to remember, “Man, I miss salmon,” she muses. She nervously drums her fingers on the counter as she watches the veggies cook. 

She reaches for the cabinet and gets out the plates and then gets the silverware and some serving tongs and spoons. Sets swivels to put them on the island and then crutches over to move them closer to the table. She sets them on the table and then goes around and sets the table the table. She moves back and stirs the veggies and looks up at the time. 

“She should be here any minute.” She observes. 

“It smells great,” Perry says from the couch as she plays with Stosh, he is currently chasing a feather on the string and she’s moving the stick around to make him pounce at it.  


Tobin turns off the burner and places a lid on the pan. A knock at the door has her crutching quickly to answer it. She swings the door open with a smile. 

“Hey you!” Alex greets leaning forward for a kiss. Tobin leans forward and gently plants a slow kiss on her lips. 

“Hey you,” Tobin says softly, smiling at her.

“These are for you,” Alex says, presenting her with a small bouquet of fall flowers. 

“Thanks!” Tobin says, her smile growing wide, “That was sweet of you,” she says and moves aside, “come on, let’s get them in some water.” 

“Hi Perry!” Alex greets as she passes her on the couch, heading to the kitchen. 

“Hey Alex, how’s it going?” Perry shoots back, Stosh catching the feather and shaking it in his mouth. 

“Going good,” she answers and turns to Tobin who is blatantly staring at her ass. “Tobin,” she says. 

Tobin looks up quickly, “Uh, yeah?”

“Where do you keep your vases?” she smirks at her.

“Up there,” Tobin answers, pointing to the far upper right cabinet. 

Alex swivels around and takes her time reaching for a square vase, making sure to give Tobin a show of it. She turns back to see Tobin looking at her, lust in her eyes. 

She sets the vase down and moves in to hug her. “How you doing today, babe?” she whispers in her ear. 

“You in that uniform does things to me, Lex.” Tobin says, her voice low and full of want. She reaches around and grips her ass.

Alex backs off with a smirk on her face. “So, what’s for dinner?” she asks, “it smells great in here.” 

Tobin’s face morphs from passion to uncertainty in a blink of an eye, “Uh, do you like fish tacos?” 

“I love fish tacos!” Alex exclaims. She hears Perry snort from the couch and they both look over. 

“Oh Stosh, what are you doing?” Perry says, laughing as if to cover herself. She puts the feather stick away and heads down the hallway to the bathroom. Alex looks over Tobin and watches her. 

“You know what I really like?” she asks Tobin, leaning forward, close to her. 

“What?” Tobin asks suspiciously. 

Alex leans in and kisses her passionately and then moves down her neck, nibbling on it, “Your fish taco.” She grins pulling away. 

“Lex!” Tobin exclaims. “You are so not fair!” she says, shaking her head. “You’re killin’ me, here.” She complains. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex fake pouts for a second, “I just can’t wait for Friday.” She says softly. “I just want to get my hands all over you.” She says, her voice raspy and seductive. 

Tobin shifts uncomfortably on her crutches. “I do too,” she answers back. “I want you so much.” 

“Hey, is dinner ready yet?” Perry calls out from the hallway. She knows she’s being obnoxious but loves the opportunity to give Tobin the business. 

“Yeah, just about,” Tobin replies, moving to put the small dish of fish into the pan and turn up the heat.

“Need any help?” Alex asks. 

“I will in a minute,” Tobin replies, “do you want something to drink? Beer?” 

“I’ll get something in a minute,” she rubs Tobin’s back. “How was you day?” 

“Stosh got his stitches removed!” Tobin shares, as she shakes the pan, moving the contents. “I taught him his first trick this afternoon.” She says proudly. 

“Really?” Alex is intrigued. 

“Yeah, I’ll show you after dinner, maybe you can video it for me.” 

Alex nods her head. 

“He really is something else,” Perry says as she reaches in the fridge to pull out a beer, she offers it to Alex who nods and accepts. “He’s so vocal and responsive, like a dog.” 

“He’s pretty smart, too.” Tobin boasts. 

Perry laughs, “Yeah, he is, he did learn that trick pretty quick.” She says. “Want me to make your smoothie?” 

“It’s all ready to go, just turn it on,” Tobin replies. She stirs the pan once more, “this looks done.” She leans on her crutches, grips the saute pan handle with both hands and expertly flips the contents, then she tilts it onto her serving platter. She sets the pan down and places the small bowls of cheese on the platter next to the steaming food. 

Alex takes the platter and brings it to the table. She notes how nice the place settings are, cloth napkins and stylish placemats. 

She looks up to see Tobin smiling as she arranges the flowers in the square Art Deco vase. Perry catches her eye as she brings Tobin’s smoothie to the table along with a basket filled with taco shells. Perry gives her a wink and a smile. Alex smiles back at her. 

“This looks amazing,” Alex comments as she sips her beer.

“Tobes, should I get beer glasses for me and Alex?” Perry asks with a grin as she sits down, not letting her answer, “It sure looks fancy here.” 

“Oh hush,” Tobin says mildly as a blush creeps up on her. 

“It looks very nice,” Alex says quietly. “ I really like the linens, they go so well with your plates. Looks sharp.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin replies shyly. 

They enjoy their meal together, Perry asking Alex about her job and training. Alex shares some stories about creepy things she’s come across in the woods, a hilarious story about a group of men who swore they saw Bigfoot and some of the events she’s helped coordinate. 

They all clean up the kitchen, laughing as Perry tells them a couple of stories about her and her husband when they were first married, trying to figure out how to live with each other. She surprises Tobin who’s never heard a couple of them before. 

When they finish cleaning up, Perry announces she’s going to call her husband to check in and heads off to the guest bedroom, shutting the door gently. 

Alex and Tobin head to the couch. Alex gets Stosh from his enclosure and snuggles with him. “I missed this little guy today,” she says as she kisses the top of his head. She leans over to Tobin, “I missed you today, too.” She says and puckers her lips. Tobin leans over and kisses her gently. 

“I missed you today,” Tobin murmurs and sighs, “my nap was boring.” 

“So, how are you doing today?” Alex asks her seriously as she places her hand on Tobin’s thigh. 

Tobin nods, “Doing alright,” she says, “I swear I just get emotional really easily, it just comes on and that’s not me.” 

“Did you have any nightmares last night?” Alex asks. 

“No, I slept well.” Tobin replies. “I called the team’s psychologist and we talked for a bit.” She shares. 

Alex is quiet, patiently waiting for Tobin to continue. 

“I’m gonna see her on Friday.” Tobin says, looking down and picking at the hem of her shirt. “She totally understands what I’m talking and without naming names she told me I wasn’t the only one on the team to have the same type of side effects and issues, like the nightmares.” 

“That’s great, babe,” Alex says softly, scratching her fingers on Tobin’s leg. “I’m proud you called, that took some courage.” 

Tobin leans back into the couch and turns her head to look at her. “Yeah, I was nervous, but I know I need some help. I’ve got to get a handle on this.” 

Alex moves her hand from Tobin’s leg to softly grab Tobin’s hand and squeeze. 

“You know,” Alex says, “when I realized that I was done with soccer, I kind of had an identity crisis. Soccer was kind of all I knew and all people knew me for. So without soccer, I was kind of lost.” 

Tobin let’s go of her hand and moves it around her back, pulling her slowly into her, lightly rubbing her upper arm. 

“So I spoke with our team psychologist while I was rehabbing.” Alex states. “And even though I was still technically on the team and surrounded by my teammates, as I went through that process of learning who I was without soccer, there were only certain things I could share with them. Because they were still soccer, you know?” 

Tobin nods, looking intently at her. 

“So I shared those things with my sister or my Mom and that was good.” She says nodding to herself as she remembers that time in her life. “It took some time. I was serious about it and still, it wasn’t something I could rush. I had to learn things about myself and there’s no timeline on it like a broken leg, you know?” 

She looks at Tobin intently, bringing a hand up to her face and lovingly placing it along her jaw, “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been through therapy and even though it isn’t the same thing you’re dealing with, there’s some similarities to it. Like, I’ll understand if there are things you can’t share with me. I get it. It won’t upset me. It will upset me if you keep things bottled up, because that’s not healthy. So I guess I’m just hoping that you use the people around you to share whatever you feel comfortable.”

Tobin just looks at her, her lips parted, eyes a little misty. She brings her hand up and places it over Alex’s on her face, holding it there for a moment as she shuts her eyes. Then she takes Alex’s hand, brings it up to her lips and kisses it softly. She lowers it, still holding on. 

“You know, Lex?” she replies, “When I spoke with her, I felt relief when she told me I wasn’t alone. It’s still a scary prospect to basically spill my guts to her, I think it would be for most people. But knowing you are standing with me unconditionally really means a lot. Knowing you’re standing with me gives me the strength and courage to do it. If I was alone going through this, I know I would be so worse off than I am.” 

She leans close so they’re touching forehead. “I thank God every day that you’re in my life.” 

“I do too,” Alex says as she shifts her head and kisses her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even talk about the final. What a brutal game.


	25. Are You Happy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry leaves, Tobin gives Stosh a bath and her and Alex have their date.

The next few days pass quickly, it’s Thursday and Perry is finished packing and waiting for her ride to the airport. 

She slings an arm around Tobin as they stand in the hallway near the door. “I know you’re going to be alright. I’ll still worry, but I think you’re doing really well.” She says as she leans her against Tobin’s.

“Thanks, Per,” Tobin says quietly. “I really do appreciate you coming out.”

“I think the Norco is agreeing with you.” Perry observes. “I just hope your nightmares stop.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, running a hand through her hair, “so do I.”

“You’re in good hands with Alex.” Perry says, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “She’s good for you.” 

“Sometimes I think she’s too good for me,” Tobin says a little nervously. 

Perry moves to stand in front of her and grips her shoulders. “She’s not too good for you. She’s perfect for you.” 

Tobin looks down, smiling and nodding. Then she looks up. “I love you Perry. I love you so much,” she says as she hugs her. 

“I love you too,” Perry replies as they hug. Her phone goes off and reaches to look at it. “My ride is here.” 

She gathers her belonging and opens the door, Tobin stands in the doorway. Perry walks down the hallway and then stops and turns to look at her with a grin. “Hey, maybe tomorrow for your date you can take Alex out to the food trucks and get fish tacos!” she laughs. 

Tobin turns crimson as she shakes her head. 

“I love you but you’re an ass!” she says loudly. 

“You love it!” Perry laughs, “Just saying!” 

“Have a good flight and I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” Tobin says as Perry enters the elevator. 

“Love you, taco!” Perry calls out as the door closes. 

Tobin shakes her head as she shuts the door and crutches down the hallway. 

 

 

 

“So tell me what the dress code is for tomorrow?” Alex asks as they are ending their conversation later that night. 

“Nothing too dressy, it’s not like a five star place or anything.” Tobin shrugs casually.

“Come on, give me a hint. I’d love to get dressed up for you.” Alex says quietly, “Especially when I know you’ll be taking it off later,” she says seductively. 

“Whatever you want will be fine, Lex,” Tobin breathes, “and I can’t wait to touch you.” 

“Same here.” Alex replies. “Sweet dreams babe, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Sweet dream, Lex. I l-” she stops abruptly. She clears her throat, “I look forward to tomorrow night babe.” Sweet Jesus I almost told her I love her, Tobin panics. 

Alex hums and replies, “I’ll see you at six.” 

“’Til then,” Tobin replies softly. 

They end their call. 

Tobin stares at her phone. Fuck! Where did that come from? She gets up from the couch and paces her living room. Just calm down, this is fine. Everything is fine. Just take a deep breath. She was cool about it. She didn’t freak. It’s okay.

She settles down and goes to her room to prepare for bed. A few days ago she ordered a foam wedge for her bed so she could sleep in there. It made a huge difference and she thinks she’s been sleeping so much better. Her ribs are feeling pretty good, she’s increasing her sets of leg lifts and overall feeling pretty good. She’s only had a couple sporadic nightmares, mostly at night. She thinks maybe snuggling with Stosh helps calm her so she naps with him during the day. 

 

 

Friday comes and Tobin has a lazy morning, sleeping in with Stosh after she got up and fed him. She dutifully did her exercises, noted the reps and sent them off via email to her trainer. She did some laundry, sliding her basket along the floor to get the clothes near the machines. She cleans up around her place, does her bathrooms, changes the sheets. 

After lunch, on a whim, she decides to give Stosh a bath. Her and Alex were planning on doing that together this week but each night they were going to but time slipped away with them talking. Tobin sits on the edge of the tub and thinks through how she is going to manage this adventure. First, she gets a pillow from her bed and throws it on the floor, near the tub. Next, she tracks down the shampoo she had gotten from Lisa to bathe him.

She stews for a bit, weighing the pros and cons of running the water with Stosh in the tub or having it filled and then putting him in it. She figures, he should learn the sound water makes so he won’t be afraid of it. Before she leaves the bathroom to fetch him, she throws a washcloth and a towel on the floor near the pillow and crutches off. 

Tobin and Stosh have been working all week on him learning some commands and tricks. In a few shorts days, Stosh has mastered sitting on his hind legs and giving a high five and he comes on command. Tobin’s working with diligently on his fetching skills and right now she feels he likes playing goalkeeper more than a forward when they play soccer. 

“Hey Stosh!” Tobin calls when she enters the living room, he’s got the run of the house but he’s chilling out in his enclosure and Tobin’s left the side door open. He slowly gets up, stretches and trots over to her. She scoops down and hoists him up on her shoulder and crutches back to the bathroom. 

She sets her crutches aside, leaning them on the side of the tub, and slowly kneels on the pillow. She puts Stosh down, away from the faucet and puts the drain in. Then she starts the warm water using only half the pressure so it’s not too loud. 

“Hey buddy, you ready to play?” she asks as he walks around the tub and moves closer to the rising water. He sits to watch it and Tobin pulls out her phone to video it a little. When the water moves closer, he takes a tentative paw at it, then just stands in it.

“Stosh! Fetch!” she says and tosses a plastic jingle ball into the deeper part of the water. He slowly wades into it, his head circling around, unsure of this new adventure. Tobin’s softly giving him encouraging words as he retrieves the ball and brings it to her hand. She praises him and tosses it again without commanding the fetch. He goes off, wading into the water without fear and begins pawing it. 

Then he becomes interested in the faucet, standing close to it, looking up at the water pouring out. The water level is rising and Tobin is wondering if she should let it get higher and see if he wants to swim. Stosh paws at the water leaving the faucet, swiping at it with his good front paw. Tobin starts to shoot another video and giggles as she watches Stosh stick his head under the faucet and remove it quickly. She outright laughs when he does it again and again. 

She puts her hand back in the tub, gently swishing the water and calls to him, he saunters over and she begins to wash him. She stops to take a picture of him covered in suds and then decides to rinse him under the faucet. He doesn’t fight, he lets her hands glide over him, rinsing the soap away. 

She sets him down in the shallow end, which is waist high to him and turns off the water. “Wanna take a swim?” she asks him. He mews at her touch as she strokes his soaked fur in the warm water. She tosses the little ball into the deep end. 

“Stosh! Fetch!” she commands and videos him as he swims to get the ball. It doesn’t seem that missing his lower leg and paw make any difference in his ability in the water. He easily glides through the water, grabbing the ball in his teeth and making his way back to Tobin’s hand. She praises him and tosses the ball again. 

She lets him play for a while and then pulls the drain to let the water out. She turns the faucet back on with warm water and rinses him before wrapping him up in the towel and gently drying his soft fur. He’s content to chill as she softly dries him, purring loudly and chirping his appreciation. 

 

She’s got time for a two hour nap before she needs to get ready for her date, so she settles on the couch, pillows tucked behind her, oxygen line on and phone on her chest. She set her alarm so she doesn’t oversleep and Stosh is wandering on her legs. 

He’s still damp, fur stuck out from all angles and he makes his way up to her chest. She picks up her phone and snaps a couple of photos of him looking at her. He’s just so cute, she thinks. He starts to knead his paws her on chest, a purr becoming louder as he continues. Tobin fires off a group text to the National Team with the video of him swimming, saying he’s getting ready for the beach. 

She sends another one to Alex, showing the video of him swimming and then the photo of him looking at her with sleepy eyes on her chest. 

Stosh begins to nuzzle her jaw, his damp fur tickling her, so she lifts the blanket and motions for him to come to her hand. He does and settles contently under the blanket, on her chest between her breasts and she strokes his fur as they fall asleep. 

 

“I fucking loved you and you left me!” Mara yells, sending another kick to her ribs. Tobin cries out in pain. “You worthless piece of shit!” Mara shouts angrily, another boot to the ribs. “I could have been playing next to you but you never said anything! That scholarship was mine and you took it!” 

Tobin opens her eyes, she’s on the ground in the woods, Mara and Liz angrily looking down at her. Mara sends another kick to her ribs and then she feels a stabbing pain shoot up her leg. She looks down and sees Liz, gripping her hiking boot and twisting it off her broken leg. 

She shouts in pain and tries to scramble away but Mara kicks her once more to stay in place. There’s a loud buzzing that’s taken over her hearing and Tobin can’t make out what Mara is saying. 

Suddenly, Mara goes to one knee and grips Tobin’s face, sending excruciating pain through her whole body. She leans close to her face “We’re going to leave you out here to die, Tobin. Think about what you did to us as you do.” 

The buzzing is getting louder and she shuts her eyes and then feels softness on her face. Confused, she opens them and sees Stosh looking down at her, sitting high on her chest, purring loudly. Tobin realizes she’s in her apartment, on the couch and it was a dream. Stosh rubs her jaw and then sits back on his haunches and sets his good paw on her chin. He chirps a couple of times and then nuzzles her again. 

Tobin moves her hand out from under the blanket and strokes his soft fur. With her other hand she wipes away the tears streaking down her face. 

“You’re such a good boy,” she praises Stosh, making him purr louder. No wonder I don’t seem to have nightmares when I’m with him, she thinks. He calms me when he notices they’re happening. She thinks about it for a long time, thanking God for bringing him into her life. Her alarm interrupts her thoughts and she lifts her hand and shuts it off. She lifts her head, giving him a tender kiss on top of his own and then places a hand on him as she gets up. 

 

 

 

“What is this place?” Alex asks as she swivels her looking around. 

“It’s a Spanish tapas place,” Tobin states, “Small plates, so you can try a bunch of different things.” 

Alex nods as she reaches for the menu. Their table is against the glass, looking out against the harbor. It’s in a more private area of the restaurant, away from the louder, larger space. 

“How did you find it?” Alex asks as she takes a sip of water. “I’ve never heard of it.” 

“It opened not too long ago,” Tobin replies easily. “I know the owner.” 

Alex’s eyes widen at the response. “Really?” 

Tobin grins and nods. Just then, a large burly man dressed all in black approaches the table with his arms wide. “Tobin! How are you?” He bellows loudly with a thick accent. 

Tobin leaves her seat to be embraced in a bear hug. “We’ve been so worried for you,” Alex can hear him say softly in Tobin’s ear. 

“I’m doing good Nesty,” she replies, sitting back down, “Nesty, I’d like to you meet Alex, Alex, this is the owner, my friend Anesto.” 

“It’s a pleasure,” Alex says, shaking his hand, “your menu looks amazing.” 

“It is that, my dear,” he nods vigorously, “and I’m not the only owner,” he says, sending a look over to Tobin. She’s shaking her head at him.

“You, my dear,” he says dramatically, “are having the pleasure to dine with not only a soccer legend and one of the kindest people I know,” he says bending low towards her, “but you are also dining with my partner in this business.” 

Alex turns to look at Tobin, her head is down, straightening the silverware at her place setting. 

“Really, now” Alex questions, sending her an expectant gaze. 

Tobin shifts awkwardly in her seat, “Nesty,” she complains, “why do you always do that?” she says looking at him. She faces Alex, “I might have helped him get started.” 

Nesty coughs in his hand, and Alex could swear she hears him say bullshit. She looks up at him and he’s grinning widely. 

“I leave you now,” he announces. “Eat, drink and relax. I make you the best smoothie ever.” He points to Alex, “I bring you everything to try. Put menu away.” He walks off. 

Alex is dumbfounded by this revelation. Tobin Heath, a restaurant owner? 

“So,” Alex says slowly, “what’s the deal?” she asks. 

Tobin fidgets in her seat and finally looks up at her. “I met Nesty when I moved here back in 2013. He had a food truck that was amazing. I went there so much, we became friends and I helped him get this place started. He insists on calling me an owner.” She explains quietly. 

“Well, are you?” Alex asks curiously. 

“Only on paper.” Tobin shrugs, “I don’t do anything but come here and eat sometimes.”  


“So,” Alex pauses, not quite understanding why Tobin brought her here if she’s uncomfortable. “Why did we come here?”

“Well, I wanted to take you somewhere nice and I think you’ll like the food and I knew Nesty would make me a smoothie.” Tobin answers. “I really didn’t want this to be, like, a big deal or anything.” She shakes her head. “After the World Cup, I had the money to help him out and just did it. He’s a smart guy and I make some money from it too.” 

Alex smiles back at her and extends her hand across the table. Tobin reaches for it and holds it. 

“Well, I think you made a great choice.” She says. “I can’t wait to try it.” Tobin smiles back at her and seems to relax a little. 

“Good,” she says with a nod and a smile. 

Dinner goes wonderfully, with servers bringing an array of small plates for Alex to try, each one better than the next. Tobin smiles as she sips her smoothie. Nesty surprised her and had the servers bring her multiple tiny glasses of different types of smoothies to enjoy as well with each course sent out for Alex. 

 

“I’m stuffed, I can’t eat another bite,” Alex complains. She sits back in her seat. “This was amazing Tobin. Thank you so much.” 

“You’re very welcome.” Tobin smiles at her. “I’m so happy you liked it.” 

They linger and Alex discovers she has room to try the dessert sampler they brought out. “I seriously will need to run like nine miles tomorrow.” 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Tobin smiles. 

“Here, try this,” Alex offers, extending her spoon across the table for Tobin to try the gelato. 

She manages to get some of it between her teeth to taste. “That’s really good.” 

Alex is shocked to realize that it’s almost ten o’clock as they get up from the table. “We’ve been here this long? Where did the time go?” 

Tobin’s shrugging on her leather jacket with a smile on her face. “I know, right?” 

Nesty comes out and bear hugs her again and Alex gets one as well. “You take good care of her, yes?” he says in Alex’s ear as he hugs her. She nods as they come apart and he smiles at her. “Have a good evening, see you soon.” 

In the Uber, Alex notices Tobin shift and wince a little while they head back to her place. “You okay?" she asks, squeezing her hand. 

“Yeah, just a little sore.” Tobin says, “I forgot to bring a pill with so I’m a little late.” 

“Oh babe,” Alex says, concerned, she doesn’t want Tobin to be hurting. 

“It’s fine, it’s just weird how much pain I can still feel after this long.” Tobin says, shaking her head. 

“How’s the Norco making you feel?” Alex asks, she’s been wondering how Tobin tolerates it. 

“It seems really good, like it takes the edge off but I don’t feel super zombie like. I get tired right after taking it but then I’m fine.” Tobin explains. She tells her about Stosh waking her up while she was having a nightmare. 

“It’s like he knew I was having one,” she comments. 

“He’s such a good boy.” Alex says. 

Alex leans in close to Tobin’s ear, “So, then we can take a little nap when we get to your place, and then you’ll be okay to be up for awhile?” she asks quietly. Tobin nods. 

“Good,” Alex says, her breath hot on Tobin’s ear. “I have plans for you to be up late tonight.” 

 

They sleep in on Saturday, both spent from being up most of the night being intimate with each other. It took much self-control for Alex not to use her tongue on Tobin, she wants her so badly that way. Alex can only imagine the frustration Tobin feels about it. 

They’re sprawled across the couch, legs tangled watching a Premier League game. Stosh is laying on Alex’s chest. She’s reading a book and Tobin is writing in her sketchbook. It just feels so domestic to each of them. 

“Hey Lex?” Tobin questions, looking up at her. She’s wearing her glasses and has a pen stuck in her sloppy bun. 

“Yeah?” Alex looks up. 

“Are you happy?” she asks earnestly. 

“Yeah, I’m happy,” Alex replies, “are you?” 

“So much,” she smiles at her. 

“Me too.” Alex smiles back. 

The grin at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters friends. This story is coming to a close. I must tell you how much I appreciate your comments- it keeps me motivated.


	26. There's No Rush, Babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you excited for tomorrow?” Alex asks, wiping the sweaty hair from Tobin’s face. Tobin is still trying to catch her breath from the multiple orgasms she’s just experienced at the hand of Alex. 
> 
> “Yeah,” she pants out. “Can’t.” she pants. “Wait.” 
> 
> “What’s the first you want to eat after you get those wires out?” Alex asks. 
> 
> Tobin turns to her, still panting. “You.”

The next couple of weeks fly by. Tobin and Alex talk every day and see each other a few times during the week. They spend their weekends together, alternating staying at each other’s places, going out to eat and shopping. Tobin is finally off all medication and is only days away from getting her cast off. 

Tobin has been spending much of her down time writing and drawing in her sketchbook. She’s been working on her feelings and speaking with the team psychologist and really getting some clarity. Her nightmares only occur sporadically, Tobin noting mostly when she’s really tired and doesn’t relax herself before going to sleep. 

Stosh is growing by leaps and bounds, leaping on his cat tree, the kitchen counters and getting into mischief. When Tobin doesn’t give him the attention he demands, he sits on the kitchen table and swipes off anything loose. Tobin continues to teach him tricks and he catches on quickly. His newest fascination is standing on her skateboard and bumping it up against her walls as he pushes it around. 

 

 

“Ew,” Tobin snorts when she sees her skinny, hairy leg. She’s at Providence Park and Beckie has just removed her cast. Beckie gets out a tape measure and has her stand up. “How’s it feel?” she asks. 

“Pretty good.” Tobin replies as she shifts her weight to see how it feels. There’s no pain when she has all of her weight on it. 

“Good,” Beckie says as she takes her measurements. “I’ll get this entered and tomorrow we’ll start on some weight bearing activities, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles, “that sounds great.” 

 

 

A week later….

 

“I love her.” Tobin says into her phone, smiling like crazy. She’s on a Facetime call with Allie, they’ve been chatting for almost an hour. 

“Have you told her?” Allie asks curiously. 

“Not yet,” Tobin says. “I want to soon. But I want to wait until this weekend after I get my wires out.” 

“How’s she been?” Allie asks. 

“Great.” Tobin replies with a smile. “She’s doing an art thing tonight. I signed up and didn’t tell her so I’ve got to get ready to go.” 

“Alright Tobes,” Allie smiles, “you have a good night and I’ll talk to you later.” 

 

 

Thursday night...

 

 

 

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” Alex asks, wiping the sweaty hair from Tobin’s face. Tobin is still trying to catch her breath from the multiple orgasms she’s just experienced at the hand of Alex. 

“Yeah,” she pants out. “Can’t.” she pants. “Wait.” 

“What’s the first you want to eat after you get those wires out?” Alex asks. 

Tobin turns to her, still panting. “You.” 

 

 

Friday night…

 

 

Tobin greets her with a smile and a gleam in her eyes. “Hi,” she says as she leans in for a quick kiss and envelops her in a hug. 

“Hi you,” Alex replies and kisses her back. She revels being in Tobin’s arms.

Stosh is pawing at her leg, meowing for attention. Alex breaks from Tobin’s grasp and squats to give him some love. 

“I swear, he thinks anyone that comes over is here to see him.” She snickers, “Dinner is almost ready,” Tobin announces as she turns and heads down the hallway. Alex looks up from petting Stosh to appreciate seeing Tobin’s ass in tight jeans. 

She picks Stosh up and walks down the hallway, dropping her backpack on the floor near the kitchen. “So,” she says as she strokes Stosh’s fur, “how do you feel?” 

“It feels really weird,” Tobin replies as she takes a tray out from the oven. “Like, it feels like my mouth is bigger or something, I can’t explain it very well.” 

“You sound different,” Alex comments, “how you pronounce everything is different. Your annunciation is much better. Is it sore?” 

“No, it’s not,” Tobin shakes her head. “Would you like a glass of wine? I’ve been dreaming about having this red for a long time.” She nudges the bottle of merlot next to her on the counter. She’s been completely off medication for the last week and a half. 

“I would love one,” Alex replies. She sets Stosh down and he scampers off to his toy box. Alex takes a few steps to stand next to Tobin at the counter. “What’s for dinner, babe?” she asks as she rubs Tobin’s back. Tobin slings an arm around her. 

“I defrosted the last pan of my Mom’s lasagna.” She replies and kisses the side of Alex’s cheek. “The doc said I have to eat soft foods for the next week, no meats unless it’s cut super tiny, nothing hard, like peanuts until I get used to chewing again.” 

“Well, how nice you have this for your first meal back,” Alex smiles. “Wasn’t this the first thing you had when you got home from the hospital?” Alex’s eye catches the leather bound book Tobin had purchased weeks ago at the Art Walk on the island counter. She smiles knowing there hasn’t been an entry in it yet from either of them. They’ve both made such an effort to be honest to each other and communicate their feelings, the book hasn’t been needed. 

“I think so, I remember Perry put it in the food processor and it wasn’t very good,” Tobin replies, shaking her head at the memory. 

Tobin grabs a knife and slices a few pieces of the lasagna and plates it. She uses tongs to grab the green beans and plates those as well. She grabs a couple of pieces of garlic bread and tosses those on the plates as well. 

She walks the plates to the tables, lights a couple of candles and returns to pour the wine for herself and Alex and nudges Alex to take her seat. Alex sits at the table, taking in the care Tobin put in the meal and how everything looks. There’s fresh flowers in her vase, the sharp placemats she likes and fresh linen napkins. 

Tobin feeds Stosh quickly, calling him to his bowls. Then she dims the lights, casting a soft glow with the candles. 

“This is really nice, babe.” Alex smiles, looking at her. 

“Thanks,” Tobin replies. “I thought we should celebrate.” She looks at Alex, her eyes shimmering in the candle light. She raises her glass and cocks an eyebrow at her. 

“To us.” She says, “These last few weeks have been really wonderful. I really enjoy us being together. You’ve done so much for me in ways I’ll never be able to articulate. Lex, you’ve been a huge part in changing my life for the better. I’ll always be grateful to you.” 

They both take a sip of their wine. Then Alex raises her glass. She cocks her eyebrow at Tobin and Tobin grins as she lifts her glass. 

“You don’t get to say something like that and not think I might have something to say about it, babe.” Alex smiles. She reaches her hand across the table and Tobin takes it in her own. 

“It’s hard to believe that two months have gone by so quickly. It’s been an amazing experience for me to become a part of your life. Nothing about our relationship has been what anyone would call normal and I love that about us. How we met and came together, it saw us at our rawest, most authentic and we pushed each other to be that way. I couldn’t be happier than when I’m with you.” 

They take a drink. 

As they begin to eat, Alex looks up at Tobin. “This is so good, Tobin.” She says. “Would it be alright if I ask your Mom for her recipe? Or do you know how she makes it?” 

“I know some of it, but I can never get it just like this.” Tobin confesses. “I don’t mind,” she smiles, “I think she’d be delighted to share it with you.” She emphasizes the word you. 

Alex blushes slightly while she takes another forkful. 

“So, you’re definitely not going home for Thanksgiving, right?” Alex confirms. Tobin nods. It’s a week away and she had told her Mother two weeks ago that she wouldn’t be coming. Her Mom took it well, prepared for the call by Perry and reasoning that Tobin had been through a lot and needed some time to herself. Or just some time with Alex. What Tobin didn’t know was that after Tobin mentioned it a few weeks ago, Perry had called Alex and together they hatched a plan for Tobin’s family to come to Alex’s as a surprise. 

“So, you’re coming to my place for the long weekend?” Alex confirms. 

“Yeah, if that’s cool.” Tobin replies. 

“So, you won’t mind helping me get dinner prepared?” Alex smiles sweetly. 

“I will peel potatoes and chop whatever you want.” Tobin grins. “I’ll even vacuum or dust or do your windows.” 

“I may hold you to that,” Alex comments, thinking ahead of all she needs to have done before the holiday. She can’t wait to see Tobin’s face when she sees her family. 

“I hope you do,” Tobin smirks and waggles her eyebrows. 

“Easy there, horndog,” Alex chides, “you might get more than you bargained for.” 

Tobin straightens in her chair and looks at her with a gleam in her eye, “I’m up for a challenge,” 

Knowing this conversation now has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, Alex decides to play along. “I don’t know if you’re match fit,” she smirks. 

Tobin raises a hand to her chest in mock hurt, “Kick me while I’m down, eh Morgan?” she grins. “Well, I’ll have you know that I’d be able to give you a first half you’ll never forget.” 

She says, her voice low and eyes full of want. 

“Is that so?” Alex asks, slowly running her tongue over her lips, “I think you need to prove it.” She challenges. 

Tobin bites her lower lip with her upper teeth, inhaling deep and gripping the edge of the table with her hands. “Now?” she questions.

Alex pushes her chair back, stands up and blows out the candles. “Move it, Heath.” She commands and walks to the bedroom, swaying her hips provocatively. She’s only three steps away when she hears a chair scrape back and Tobin taking large strides down the hallway, capturing her just before she reaches the bedroom. 

Tobin lightly grabs her shoulder, spinning her to face her. They stare at each other for a full minute, eyes full of want, knowing tonight will take everything to another level. Tobin audibly gulps as she moves closer to Alex, “You ready for this?” she questions, her voice trembling. 

“I am,” Alex replies, “I have been for a while now,” realizing just what Tobin is talking about. Without outright saying it, Tobin is aware of how important this is. They’re not talking about just sex right now. This is all about commitment. She knows in her heart Tobin feels the same way about her, she knows she loves her, but there’s that little seed of doubt that comes up. “Are you ready for this?” she asks quietly. 

Tobin closes her eyes, her hand still on Alex’s shoulder, when she opens them a smile crosses her face. “I am so ready,” she says, leaning in close to speak in her ear, “thanks for being patient with me.”

Tobin places a soft kiss on Alex’s neck, just under her ear. She trails her lips her down her neck, Alex throwing her head back to give more room. Tobin nudges her jaw with her nose, then brings her lips to Alex’s jaw. Finally, she opens her eyes and looks at her intently as they’re lips meet. 

It’s slow, Tobin is tentative, just softly kissing her, taking a hand and trailing it behind Alex’s neck. She’s taking her time, slowly exploring Alex with small kisses, until she slowly brings her tongue out along her lips, seeking entrance. Alex accepts and when their tongues meet, they both let out a moan. Alex brings her hands down to Tobin’s tight, taut ass, massaging it hard, squeezing it as she pushes Tobin into her, seeking her. Tobin moans in her mouth as they kiss, their tongues twisting, seeking all each other has to give. 

Alex grips Tobin’s hair at the base of her neck as she lowly leads her to the bedroom. Tobin walks with her, never breaking contact, except when they stand next to the bed, out of breath and panting as they look at each other. 

Tobin’s hand shake as she unbuttons Alex’s work shirt, leaning in to kiss her, loving the feel of Alex. Goosebumps are popping up all over her body in reaction to Alex’s touch and taste. She helps Alex out of her shirt, and moves to free her bra, Alex letting it drop on the floor. Tobin unbuckles Alex’s belt, opening it and getting at the button on her uniform pants, lowering her zipper and shoving it down. Alex helps her step out of her pants, now completely naked in front of her. 

Tobin takes a step back, eying her. “You are absolutely stunning,” she says so softly and full of wonder. She leans forward to kiss her again. Alex’s hands are at Tobin’s pants, hungrily opening them and shoving them down, underwear as well to her thighs, Tobin laying a hand on her shoulder as she gets them off, shaking her left leg to kick them across the room. 

Alex pushes her back a step. “Take your shirt off,” she commands, her voice raspy and low. Tobin instantly reaches for her button down shirt, ripping it open, popping the buttons, sending them bouncing on the floor. Her bra is off just as quick. 

Alex let’s out a small laugh, “You’re a goofball,” she says bringing their bodies together. As they revel in the feel of their bodies against each other, nipples teasing and growing hard, Tobin whispers, “But I’m your goofball, right?” she asks, her hot breath on Alex’s ear, sending a shiver through her whole body. Alex hears just the slightest hint of uncertainty, “You’ll always be my goofball,” Alex replies, and brings a hand up to cup one of Tobin’s breasts, watching her throw her head back with her eyes closed, mouth hanging open. “And you’ll always be my horndog,” she says with a grin. 

Tobin brings her head back down, eyes open mouth still open, “I’ll show you horndog,” she smiles devilishly and begins to walk Alex backwards to the bed. 

“I would hope you do,” Alex smirks as she feels the bed at the back of her legs. 

Tobin takes a step from her to look her over, “Baby, why don’t you get up on my bed and lay back so I can show you how I feel about you,” she says tenderly, her pupils blown wide, eyes half lidded. “You are so gorgeous, babe,” she licks her lips in anticipation, “I want to make you feel so good.” 

Alex shudders from Tobin’s low voice, that’s laced with want and need. She slowly sits down and slides herself back, extending a hand for Tobin to take as she kneels over her hips. Tobin meets her lips, kissing her tenderly, “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long,” she says, her voice so soft. Alex brings her hands to Tobin’s back, lightly caressing the smooth skin.

“Tobin,” Alex says softly in between kisses, “take me,” she says as she lowers her hands to Tobin’s ass, squeezing and pulling her hips down seeking any kind of friction. She wants her, she needs Tobin to touch. Tobin surges forward and kisses her roughly, passionately. She moves to her neck, trailing her tongue, alternating with soft bites that send Alex’s back off the mattress. 

“So beautiful,” Tobin murmurs, as she works her way down Alex’s neck to her chest, massaging a breast with one hand trailing her tongue around the other. She softly kisses around the underside of her breast, while tracing a finger around the nipple of the other, then she grips it with two fingers and rolls it in between them. 

“Oh, Tobin,” Alex moans, as she begins to be overwhelmed by the sensations, Tobin now gliding her hand down her torso, lightly touching Alex’s blazing skin. Tobin begins to suck urgently on the side of Alex’s breast, moving her head slowly to circle it, Alex, bringing her hand up to the back of her head to urge her on. As she’s working her lips against her breast, Tobin is trailing her hand to Alex’s thighs, tracing them lightly, teasing as she alternates between her legs, growing stronger in her touch until she’s deeply massaging them. Alex can feel herself coming undone from Tobin’s touch. She’s breaking her down in the most delicious way, mouth attacking her breast as her hand slowly, skillfully glides into her folds. 

Alex moans as she feels Tobin long fingers enter her, slowly, curling gently and beginning to move in the rhythm of Tobin’s hips against her thigh. “Tobin,” she moans as she feels the pace increase, Tobin now sucking on her nipple, rolling it with her tongue. “Yes,” she moans, feeling herself falling into the bliss that was threatening to overcome her. 

Without stopping her motions, Tobin slowly abandons Alex’s breast and moves her head lower, licking Alex’s abdomen, placing kisses near her hips. As she slides her legs away from Alex so she can lay herself in between her legs, Alex can’t help from bucking her hips from the pace Tobin’s set. 

“Mmmm, Tobin,” Alex moans, moving her hand to take a hold of her hair. Her other hand is gripping the sheets. “Yes,” she encourages. Tobin has her fingers pumping into Alex, curling her fingers to hit that sweet spot that is now making Alex cry out every single time. Her raspy voice fills the room yet she can hear Tobin’s panting and feels her hot breath on her inner thigh. 

Alex arches her back, thrusting her hips, trying to get a deeper sensation, anything to send her over. As her legs begin to shake, her toes point and she feels that snap in her hips, Tobin darts her tongue onto her clit. It sends Alex off the mattress, crying out loudly, her hips jutting forward, her hand forcing Tobin’s head down into herself. 

Tobin begins to swipe her clit, circling it as she continues to thrust her fingers back and forth into Alex. Alex is panting, her body quaking, this feeling of pure bliss building and building. Alex feels Tobin’s tongue licking around her mouth hungrily taking her clit and sucking, sucking until Alex is almost screaming with pleasure. 

Tobin curls her fingers a little more sharply, keeping them in Alex and relentlessly moving as if she was indeed scratching the itch Alex needed to be scratched. Alex explodes in pleasure, the orgasm overtaking her, sending her heartrate through the roof, she’s seeing stars, her breathing stopped, her mouth open in a perfect ‘o’. 

Her neck jerks forward and she opens her eyes to see the top of Tobin’s head as she continues to suck and curl those fingers, those beautifully long fingers, sustaining this bliss that Alex has never felt in her life. This is, by far, the longest orgasm she has ever experienced. 

When she slams back into the mattress, it’s as if she’s come back to consciousness, she can hear the soft squeak of the bed springs, the low rumble of the furnace, Tobin’s panting and a moaning sound unfamiliar to her. When she realizes it is herself, Alex is shocked. Her voice sounding so primal, so loud and hungry yet filled with pure release. 

Tobin slowly she removes her fingers and lifts her head from between Alex’s thighs. Alex eyes her through her half open lids, she’s exhausted in the best kind of way. She looks down adoringly at Tobin who’s eying her with wonder. 

“Come up,” Alex pants, “here, you.” 

Tobin slowly climbs her way up, positioning her body half on Alex. She extends her arm to grab a Kleenex, wiping her face and fingers. She’s panting heavily herself, a sly grin spreading across her face. 

“You good?” she asks Alex. 

“So good,” Alex replies with a smile. Her heart is thumping loudly in her chest. She’s trying to steady her breathing. 

Tobin lays her head softly on Alex’s chest, tilting her head to place featherlight kisses along her neck. It takes Alex a few minutes to gain any sort of control of her limbs and she lazily runs her fingers through Tobin’s hair. 

“That was amazing,” she breathes out. Her hips are still jerking occasionally with aftershocks and Alex can feel her hip brushing against the wetness of Tobin’s center. Tobin moans softly each time occurs, her breath on Alex’s neck making her dizzy with desire. 

“I still can’t feel my legs,” Alex confesses, “how did you do that?” she moves her head to look at Tobin.

Tobin lifts her head and kisses Alex, it’s slow as their tongues twist and Alex can taste herself on Tobin’s lips and tongue. 

Tobin pulls back gives her this look, this face of pure adoration, as if Tobin had just received the best Christmas ever, or how she looks at Stosh when he does something so incredibly cute. “I just listened to your body, babe,” she says softly. “You told me what you needed,” 

“I have never experienced something like that ever,” Alex states, “that was,” she shakes her head. She kisses Tobin deeply, “that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life.” She says, her voice full of wonder. 

Tobin smiles at her and pecks her lips softly, “That’s pretty awesome,” she says, giving her a cocky grin, “was that a first half you’ll never forget?” 

Alex barks out a laugh, “If that’s your first half, you don’t ever have to worry about being match fit!” she exclaims, kissing her again. “I’m gonna need a nap after this, I seriously am.” 

Tobin grins, rolling to her side, elbow holding her head up. “I’ll always take a snuggle if that’s what you’re offering.” 

“I am,” Alex says, reaching over bopping Tobin’s nose. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and come back, if I can walk,” she says as she slowly gets out of bed, sitting for moment and then getting up. She wobbles for moment on unsteady legs and slowly makes her way to the bathroom. 

When Alex comes back to bed, Tobin opens the covers to invite her in, thinking Alex would want to spoon. Instead, Alex faces her, putting her leg in between Tobin’s and circling her arms around her. She kisses her tenderly, placing a hand against her jaw, looking into her eyes in the dim room. 

“Just a quick nap, I promise,” Alex says, her eyes growing heavier. 

“No worries,” Tobin says, kissing her forehead, “there's no rush, babe.” She runs her hand along Alex’s back. It only takes a moment for both of them to sleep.


	27. Thanksgiving Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex returns the favor, cementing for both of them that they love each other. But both are hesitant to say those three little words. Tobin has a plan for that. 
> 
> They spend time together planning for their first holiday together.

Alex awakes to an unfamiliar sound in Tobin’s room. It’s like a sliding noise. She opens her eyes, seeing Tobin is still sleeping deeply. She hears the noise again and then hears little paws on the hardwood floor. The buttons. Stosh squeaks as he slides another one under the closet door. Alex worries that he might swallow one but then she hears him trot out of the room and thumping from him jumping up on the couch. 

She smiles thinking about the cat. He’s changed Tobin so much. She’s so motherly towards him and patient. Him not having all four paws hasn’t slowed him down at all. She can’t wait for summer to see him at the beach. It’s so weird to think of a cat that loves water so much. The other week, her and Tobin were in the shower and he jumped in with them. It was hilarious. 

It’s not lost on her how Stosh’s recovery and Tobin’s were intertwined with each other. Having Lisa help her and being loosely in Tobin’s soccer world helped. She knows she didn’t really know Tobin until they met in that shelter, but hearing Perry speak about how Tobin has matured in the last two months makes Alex feel special. Like she had a small hand in helping her. 

She knows Tobin’s been working hard on her rehab and her struggle to not be hyper focused on it. She’s been over on evenings when they’re relaxing on the couch and she starts to fidget. Tobin spoke to her and told flat out she was anxious to be doing more. They spoke at length about it and compromised and started swimming at the indoor pool in Tobin’s complex on nights Alex came over. It worked for both of them, they both got in a workout and spent time together. Alex would happily prefer to swim in a heated pool in winter rather than drag herself to the gym in the dark morning hours before work. They agreed that they would do weekend runs together when Tobin was released to do so. Not once did she feel she was giving in to Tobin’s desires, instead they worked it out together. It made her happy that they could talk it out and find an answer that worked for both of them.

She’s seen Tobin struggle with her feelings and how she struggled to overcome her physical injuries, but also piece together her inner struggles as well. Tobin would start telling her about a conversation she had with her therapist and how it challenged her or how she felt she had made a stride to healing. She’s proud of her. 

Alex looks over at Tobin, her eyes closed, long lashes resting under her eyes. Her lips are parted and she can hear the softest of snores coming from her. She sees the one scar on her face from her ordeal, it’s over her left eye, just a small red line, about an inch or so long. She had asked Tobin if it bothered her to have it and if she considered getting some plastic surgery to remove it. Tobin answered immediately that it didn’t bother her, it was a mark of her journey and represented to her growth and recovery in overcoming it. Then she quoted a bible verse about bearings the marks of Jesus. 

It really made Alex think about how intelligent Tobin is and how strong she lived in her faith. She noticed she didn’t always go to church, but she read her bible almost every night since she started feeling better and she watched some online services. Alex herself wasn’t as deeply rooted in faith as her, but she admired Tobin’s convictions and how she really tried to model herself to be a better person, a caring, deeply feeling person. 

Alex realizes that just about every facet of Tobin is pretty special. Sure, she gets pissed about stuff, but she calms down a lot quicker than Alex ever could and she stews and thinks about whatever is bothering her and then lets it go or finds a solution. They haven’t argued per se, but had a couple of discussions about the little things that bothered each other, like leaving shoes in the hallway to trip over, or not putting away the milk while eating cereal. 

The thing of it is, is that Alex doesn’t does not feel like the other shoe will drop and suddenly they’ll start bickering and fighting over anything. Each of them is willing to listen to another and make stride to be better for each other. It’s the first time ever for Alex and she thinks Tobin as well, that they are in sync. That excites her. 

Actually, it’s also making her horny and as she looks at Tobin, she wants her. She wants to hear her moan and beg and run her hands through her hair and cry out in pleasure. She wants to do all sorts of things with Tobin, things to show her that she loves her. 

She begins slowly, just sliding her leg a little that’s still wedged in between Tobin’s. She scoots forward slowly, kissing Tobin softly on her neck. Just featherlight kisses up and down, teasing her ear a little. She does this for a full minute until Tobin lets out a low moan and turns onto her back. She’s still completely asleep and that turns Alex on even more.  


Alex slides over continues her rhythmic movement of her leg on Tobin’s core. She begins again to nibble on her neck, slowly bringing a hand up to caress Tobin’s breast with her free hand. She can feel Tobin growing wetter against her thigh and lets out a moan of her own at the prospect of this. 

When Alex circles her tongue around Tobin’s nipple. She feels Tobin arch her back involuntarily and moan louder. Tobin’s moving her hands along the sheets, her breath beginning to grow heavier. Alex continues to massage her breast with her hand, growing a bolder in her ministrations. 

“Babe,” Tobin moans, bringing an arm down to caress Alex’s back. Alex looks up to see Tobin still has her eyes closed but she’s smiling. Alex moves forward and kisses her way up to Tobin’s neck again, and then she kisses her mouth. Tobin moans as she opens her mouth, seeking Alex, moaning into her as her hips slowly begin to move in rhythm with Alex’s leg. 

Alex breaks free and begins to suck on Tobin’s collarbone, biting softly and covering it with a deep kiss. She still has a hand on Tobin’s breast, massaging it harder, fingers twisting her nipple. 

“Oh, Lex,” Tobin moans. She’s feeling everything, her core is burning, aching for Alex to touch her, her head is swimming, this is the best possible way to wake up. 

Alex feels Tobin’s hands running up and down her back as she slowly kisses her way lower down Tobin’s chest. She shifts her position, now in between Tobin’s spread legs. She brings both hands to Tobin’s breasts, massaging, teasing, rolling her nipples in between her fingers. Tobin’s hips are rising slightly with her inhales, her breathing becoming louder.  


Alex blows softly on her abs, seeing the goosebumps break out with her breath. She takes a hand and flings the comforter off them. She runs her nails across Tobin’s abs as she lowers her head in between her legs. 

She spreads Tobin’s legs further apart, her hands on Tobin’s chiseled thighs. She massages them roughly, deeply, hearing Tobin moan louder. She inhales Tobin’s scent, taking it all in for the first time, determined to listen to Tobin’s body. Still massaging her thighs, Alex turns her head and sucks on her inner thigh, right near her core. Tobin lets out another moan, Alex can feel Tobin’s leg muscles clench in reaction to her lips on her thigh. She turns her head and slowly licks through her folds, a long, languid lick, making Tobin squirm and let out a high pitched groan. 

This new sound spurs Alex on and she removes a hand from Tobin’s thigh and gently circles her clit with her fingers. “Mmmmm,” Tobin moans, hips undulating in a slow rhythm. Alex glances up to see Tobin with her head back, mouth open, eyes closed with her forehead crinkled. Her arms are stretched out almost touching the sides to the mattress, a complete starfish. 

Seeing Tobin so relaxed and loose as she circles her clit with her tongue does something to Alex. She wants to make Tobin come undone. She shifts her position a little and brings her other hand forward to gently tease circle and tease Tobin’s opening. 

“Lex!” Tobin gasps, trying to close her legs in reaction to the new stimuli, Alex keeping her one hand firm on her thigh. Slowly, carefully, she slides a finger into Tobin, waiting a moment for her to get used to the sensation. She begins to pull it out and then in and Tobin’s matching her movements with gentle thrusts of her own. She picks up the pace, occasionally licking her folds. When she decides to add another finger, she licks Tobin’s clit as she enters her, causing Tobin to arch her back and flinch at the same time. 

She picks up the pace, moving her fingers as she looks again to see a sheen of sweat across Tobin’s forehead and body, glistening beautifully in the dim light. Every ridge line of her muscles is exposed, showing the definition of her magnificent body. She’s so beautiful, Alex thinks and she brings her mouth to Tobin’s clit again, loving the gasp it causes Tobin to cry out each time she does it. 

She gets up on one elbow, her fingers moving faster and faster into Tobin, curling up before pulling out, making Tobin cry out with every thrust. Tobin’s legs begin to shake, her muscles flinching and spasming her head rising, being pulled up from her neck muscles contracting. 

Tobin lets out a high pitched cry, keening as Alex feels her legs stiffen. It’s then that she moves and takes Tobin’s clit in her mouth, sucking it hard, hearing Tobin’s loud cries, feeling the bed shake as Tobin rises off the mattress. She doesn’t let up, she keeps moving just as fast, hitting her g-spot over and over again as she swirls her tongue around her clit while sucking it even harder. 

Tobin can feel that moment, the singular moment that doesn’t always happen when her back moves in just the right way where she can feel her bones cracking and adjusting like the best massage that realigns her body as the orgasm hits her. It doesn’t stop and when Alex takes her into her mouth and starts sucking hard, Tobin is practically lifted off the bed in bliss. She can’t control her body, she grips the sheets to anchor herself, feeling her hips move on their own accord. 

The pleasure races through her, it’s familiar but different, it’s taking too long, she doesn’t know when this will end, how can she be coming for this long she wonders. Her mouth is bone dry, it’s hanging open and she doesn’t recognize that the noises she hears are her own. Her calves are cramping from her toes being pointed and just when she thinks she’ll pass out from it all, that singular moment hits when she feels every single nerve ending her body tingle. 

She flops back into the bed, her breathing so heavy she feels like she’s just run the beep test and is the last one standing. She’s panting hard, she can’t speak, she can’t even open her eyes. She can only hear the loud thudding of her heart beating wildly in her head. Her hips keep flinching and she can feel the aftershocks hit her with an intensity of another orgasm. She cries out, moaning and then she slowly feels herself beginning to come down. 

Alex pops her head up, looking to see Tobin, mouth open, panting hard, eyes closed. She wants to see her like this for the rest of her life. She wipes her hand on the sheets, making a note to herself to change them tomorrow, and then slowly makes her way up to Tobin. 

Feeling completely satisfied with herself, Alex snuggles into the crook of Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin’s arms are still spread out, she hasn’t moved except for the sporadic flinch of her hips from the aftershocks. She lays a leg over Tobin’s hips. Resting her hand on her chest. She lays her head down to share the same pillow, and watches as Tobin recovers. 

It takes at least ten minutes before Tobin can speak. 

“Lex,” she says, hoarsely, “baby that was incredible.” She slowly moves her arm around Alex’s shoulder. “I’ve never” she pauses, “it was” she lets out a huff of air, “that was insane.” 

Alex eyes her with a grin. “So, uh, it was good for you, yeah?” she says with a laugh. 

“Oh yeah,” Tobin says, drawing out the words and turning her head to face her, her eyes sparkling. “So. Incredibly. Good.” She accents each word with a kiss to Alex’s lips. 

They’re silent for a moment. 

“I did what you said you did.” Alex says quietly. Tobin looks at her questioningly. 

“I listened to your body.” Alex says. “I’ve never done that before. It was amazing. I almost came, like, three different times.” She confesses. 

Tobin smiles. “Well, thank you.” She giggles a little. “’Cause that was fucking amazing.” 

Alex let out a laugh. “I had to hold you to the bed, you were almost off it.” She kisses her deeply and moves her head to whisper in her ear, “Maybe next I should tie you down so I can use both hands.” 

Tobin’s mouth drops open, her eyes go wide, pupils blazing with lust. “Yeah,” she says, “maybe you should.” 

Alex let’s out a yawn, “But not tonight,” she says, a wave of sleepiness hitting her. “I just want to snuggle and sleep now.” 

Tobin shifts her legs a little, “I’ll be right back and then we can,” she says with a yawn herself. 

Alex rolls over to let Tobin get out of the bed, watching as her muscles contact in the dim light as she heads to the bathroom. 

Alex straightens the sheets and comforter out, fluffs up the pillows and smiles when Tobin’s returns. Tobin stands before her, naked, looking down at her with loving eyes. Alex’s eyes crawl up Tobin’s body, so defined, still so tanned, marred with a few scars on her torso and shin from her surgery. Tobin smiles as she drops a knee on to the bed and crawls in, covering herself as she catches a chill. She shivers as she lays down, head to the pillow, looking at Alex. 

“You’re incredible.” She says softly, her tone full of emotion. Tobin knows it’s not just from the mind blowing sex they’ve just had, but a statement of how close they’ve grown together. 

“So are you, babe.” Alex smiles back. “I’m big spoon tonight.” She announces and Tobin flashes a smile as she rolls to her side. Alex moves in close and brings a hand under the pillow and wraps her arm around Tobin’s slightly shaking form. 

“Cold?” Alex asks into Tobin’s ear. 

“Little,” is the sleepy response, so Alex rubs her arm on Tobin’s and hooks her leg over hers bringing her front against Tobin’s back. 

“Better?” she asks. 

“So much,” Tobin yawns. 

“Sleep tight babe,” Alex says, wanting to tell her she loves but holding back for a better time. She’s not a big fan of deep pillowtalk. 

“You too, Lex.” Is Tobin’s sleepy reply. Tobin wants to shout that she loves Alex but doesn’t want to ruin her plan. She feels like Alex knows already but she really wants to say those three little words. It would make it real, concrete. Especially if Alex says them back to her. 

With a grin on her face, she snuggles into her pillow, letting sleep overtake her. 

 

 

The women spent part of Saturday making a shopping list for Thanksgiving dinner. Tobin questioning the size of the turkey, the amount of potatoes and how many dishes Alex was planning to prepare. 

“Babe,” she says as she finishes chewing a piece of carrot, “I thought you said it was like, eight people coming,” she reaches for another carrot piece. 

“Well, Syd, kind of mentioned it to some of our other friends and they’re coming now,” Alex explains. 

“Okay, but don’t, like, people offer to bring something?” Tobin questions. “I mean, maybe it was just, like, how I was raised, but we always brought side dishes and stuff when we went to my aunt’s house for the Thanksgiving. Everyone did.” 

Alex thinks for a moment. She wants Tobin to be surprised when her family comes over so she doesn’t want to give it away. “Well,” she says, stalling a little, “they’re bringing drinks and ice and some appetizers,” she says slowly. Aha, she thinks. “and, uh, let’s just say, we learned from experience not to eat what they cook.” 

“Oh,” Tobin says, understanding Alex’s hesitance. “I understand now.” She nods. “So, if you have recipes, I can follow those to help you, or just cut stuff up, whatever you want.” She offers. She doesn’t want Alex to take on this whole meal. It seems like a huge ordeal. 

“Well, I’m off Wednesday to Monday so Syd was going to come over on Wednesday, she’s off too, and my sister will be here and she can help us as well.” Alex replies. 

“That’s cool,” Tobin replies. “So, we should shop on Tuesday night?” Tobin wonders. 

“I was thinking so,” Alex replies, as she checks her list. Tobin’s Mom planned to arrive earlier in the day with Tobin’s sisters and their families coming around noon. Perry had given Alex had Cindy’s number again and the two have been talking about the menu. Cindy emailed her a list of ingredients she would need to make a couple of Tobin’s favorite side dishes and desserts. Alex made sure the menu list that saw was fake and carefully made her list for the store a little jumbled so Tobin wouldn’t get suspicious about the items they were buying. 

“So, should I pack me and Stosh up and just stay the night?” Tobin asks. It tickles Alex that she’s oblivious to the plans. 

“That would make perfect sense.” Alex smiles at her. 

“We should talk about pots.” Tobin says suddenly. “Like, do you have enough pots and pans and serving trays?” she asks intently. Alex loves how invested she is in this event. 

“Well, let’s see,” Alex says. The two review the menu and they realize Tobin was correct. She would need a few things from her. Tobin gets up from the kitchen table and starts rooting around her cabinets. 

“What about dish towels? And trivets?” Tobin’s head pops up from behind the island counter. 

“Trivets?” Alex questions. 

“You know, you put it on the table or counter and then put the hot pot or tray on it.” Tobin explains, holding up a decorative square metal piece. Alex remembered Tobin used that with the tray of lasagna the night before. 

She smiles remembering how they walked out of the bedroom this morning to find their abandoned dinner and Stosh laying on the kitchen table, his white paws tinged red from eating off their dishes. 

“Yeah, you should bring those.” She nods. 

Soon Tobin has a pile of pots, trays, serving utensils, the trivets and a load of hand towels. She retrieves an empty box from her spare room closet and neatly packs it. 

 

 

Tobin is staring at the box of noodles, hesitating before it into the cart with a soft sigh. Alex nudges her. 

“What’s up buttercup?” she asks. 

“I’m just hoping that my Mom makes some of her mac and cheese for Christmas.” Tobin says. 

“Well, it’s not mac and cheese,” Alex says, “but my sister Jen makes an awesome taco dip. It’s like crack it’s so addicting.” 

“I can’t wait to try it.” Tobin smiles. “Does your Mom have any kind of classic dishes she makes for Thanksgiving?” 

Alex nods. “The stuffing.” She replies. “She doesn’t cook it in the turkey, but on the side. It’s amazing.” 

“I can’t wait to try that either.” Tobin replies with a grin. She’s known she’ll be meeting Alex’s parents and her sister Jen. 

Alex is curious. “You nervous about meeting them?” she asks quietly looking at Tobin who is contentedly pushing the near filled cart. 

“Nope.” She says easily. 

“Really?” Alex asks. 

“Really.” Tobin nods. 

“Not even a little?” Alex asks. 

“Nah.” Tobin shakes her head. “I know they must be awesome people if they can produce a daughter that’s as awesome as you. No need to be nervous about that.” She says with conviction. 

Alex’s blush is as red as the tomatoes on the jar of red sauce she’s holding. “Good.” Is all she can manage to say through her grin. 

 

 

 

“Hey Supercat!” Syd says as Stosh high fives her. She giggles. “He’s so awesome Tobin!” she exclaims. 

“Yeah, he’s something else.” Tobin smiles back. 

It’s Wednesday and Syd’s just arrived to begin a day of cooking. Tobin hands her a small ball. “Tell him to fetch and toss it.” She grins. Syd does. 

Stosh retrieves the ball and returns and drops it in her open hand and she looks up at Tobin in wonder. “Is he a dog trapped in a cat’s body?”

“I don’t know,” Tobin confesses, “but I sure look forward to taking him to the beach and teaching him to body surf.” 

“Get out! Really?” Syd exclaims looking at Stosh who’s currently interested in climbing up Tobin’s arm to sit on her shoulder. He’s gotten considerably larger so it’s more of a balancing act. 

“He loves water.” Alex says. “Tobin takes him for walks outside in the rain and they both play in the puddles.” 

“That’s hysterical!” Syd laughs. 

“It won’t be when this one,” Alex points to Tobin, “gets sick from getting cold and wet.” Her eyes flash in annoyance. 

“I don’t get sick, Lex.” Tobin patiently states. 

Alex huffs as she hands a bag of potatoes to Tobin. “Please peel, rinse, and chop into half an inch squares as best you can.” 

Tobin gives her a quick salute, a peck of a kiss on her lips, gets Stosh off her shoulder, takes the bag, finds a pot, knife, and cutting board and begins to hum as she sets herself up in the dining room. 

“Oh Alex,” Syd says softly, drawing out her name, “Hot Hiker is so sweet.” She stands super close next to Alex. “So, tell me. How’s the sex?” 

Alex slaps her arm, “Syd!” she hisses, “shut up!” She cranes her neck to see if Tobin heard but Tobin’s lost in her own world of potatoes, happily whistling as she peels them.

Syd only grins at her. “I’m not stopping until you answer and if you don’t answer quick,” she says quietly as she narrows her eyes, “I’ll start asking H2O about the orgasms.” 

Alex closes her eyes and lets out a frustrated huff. “She gives doubles, okay?” 

“Doubles?” Syd asks confused. 

“Like, at least two orgasms in one shot, alright? So sometimes, I’ll have four a night.” Alex answers, her tone hushed. “Or six.” Alex wiggles her eyebrows. The doorbell chimes. “My sister is here, now will you please shut up about it and start washing the vegetables?” 

“Damn, girl,” Syd says to Alex, looking impressed. “I knew I should have slept with that softball chick in college when I had the chance!” She grins. 

Alex shoves her towards the counter as she answers the door. Jen is greeted with hugs from Alex and Syd and introductions are made to Tobin. As the day wears on, the women get everything completed. They’re impressed with Tobin putting sticky notes on all of the serving dishes marking out which dish each is meant to contain. Alex makes a mental to switch a couple around tomorrow afternoon. 

Alex is happy with how well Tobin and Jen get along. She observes Tobin as she’s laughing with Jen, talking easily about a variety of subjects. There’s just something about how genuine Tobin is. She intently listens when Jen speaks about her job, asking intelligent questions, and showing real interest in Jen being a realtor. 

Alex is proud to show her off to everyone she knows because she knows they’ll love her. Not because of her celebrity status as a professional athlete or Olympian, but because of the person she is. 

 

 

They’re lying in the darkness of Alex’s room, the bright moon shining in through a crack in the curtains, casting some dim light across the floor. They’re both ready to give in to sleep. 

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Tobin sighs as she shifts under the comforter, “it’s going to be so much fun.” 

“Yeah,” Alex says, moving to lay her hand on Tobin’s stomach, “I’m just happy I don’t have to get up super early to get the turkey ready.” They had set dinner for three o’clock so they wouldn’t be rushed in the morning. 

“Goodnight, babe,” Tobin says. 

“Sleep tight,” Alex replies, smiling, knowing that Tobin is in for a few surprises.


	28. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving comes, Tobin confesses her love to Alex and Alex reciprocates. Tobin celebrates with Alex's family and is shocked to see her own.

Alex wakes up to something laying on her chest. She opens her eyes, looking around. Tobin isn’t in the room. She can smell coffee. She stretches in bed, and sees that it’s about seven-thirty. She shifts to sit up against the headboard and studies the gift. 

There’s a little card on it. She flicks it open. 

‘Lex,  
I process things a lot. I like to really think about what’s important to me to be certain and completely sure of what I feel. Our time together has been amazing and I can’t thank you enough for your caring, your understanding and your patience with me.  
I made this for you. This is the story of us. I hope it’s just the beginning.  
I love you.  
Tobin’ 

Alex gasps when she reads that last line. 

She unwraps the package slowly as Tobin enters the room. She looks up. 

“Hey,” Tobin says, handing her a cup of coffee. 

“Good morning,” Alex says smiling, holding the partially unwrapped gift in her lap. 

Tobin carefully crawls into the bed, sticks a pillow behind her back and sits next to her. She sips her coffee. Alex is just staring at her. 

Tobin smiles, nudges her shoulder, “Open it.” She encourages with a nod. 

Alex sets her mug on the nightstand and opens the package. It’s a book. Actually, Alex realizes, it’s a leather bound journal. The cover is handsomely hand tooled in a design similar to the one that sits empty on Tobin’s island counter. Alex’s fingers tracing over the design. 

“What is this?” she looks up to ask Tobin. 

“Check it out,” Tobin shrugs with a grin. 

Alex looks down, takes a deep breath and opens the first page. It’s empty. Tobin lets out a soft laugh. 

“Next page, babe,” she says. 

Alex turns the page. It’s the title page. She reads it. 

‘How I Fell In Love With Alex Morgan By Tobin Heath’ 

It’s written in the font from the Harry Potter movies. Tears spring to her eyes. Tobin hands her a Kleenex. 

“Keep going, babe,” she says softly. 

Alex turns to the next page, a drawing of her, in her teens in a USA Soccer jersey. Her hair is pulled back, she has her signature pink prewrap holding back the fly aways.  
‘I first met you when we were at a National Camp.’ She reads, and then looks at Tobin again. Tobin gives her a smile. Alex keeps reading. 

The story goes on, their shared experiences at camp, Tobin explaining that she dug out her journals from that year to find her entries that mention that camp.  
The story fast forwards to October with Tobin drawing a stunning photo of Alex in her uniform and another from behind of Tobin mapping out her route with Alex looking on. Tobin briefly narrates her experience in the woods with Mara and Liz and what happened. 

Photos of Alex in the shelter with stethoscope and chart, her putting the air splint on Tobin’s leg. The attention to detail impresses Alex. She’s amazed Tobin remembers all the details so well, with her being in such pain and then on the Demerol. It goes on. 

Photos and stories of Tobin in the hospital, Alex coming to visit her. Their smoothie date at Tobin’s place and how she got her Mom and sister out of the apartment. 

Alex lying in bed, tangled in the sheets showing her shoulders bare. 

Their date at the Art Walk. Alex snuggling with Stosh. 

Alex is overwhelmed by Tobin’s talent. The details are so perfect. The accuracy. The heartfelt stories. 

How Tobin felt unsure of herself because of the drugs and her own insecurities. How those feelings became clearer. How patient and understanding Alex was. How Tobin knew that Alex was the one. 

The past page shows Alex, on Tobin’s couch reading her book. ‘It was times like this, just being together, that I feel in love with you. I can’t imagine my life without you.’ is written in Tobin’s distinct scrawl. 

Alex closes the book and can’t stop her tears as she looks at Tobin. 

“I can’t believe you made this for me,” she says clutching it to her chest. 

Tobin looks back at her with in her eyes. “I love you, Lex,” she says softly. Alex sets the book to the side and straddles Tobin. She kisses her fiercely. 

“I love you Tobin.” She says as she kisses her again. 

 

 

“Go! Go! Go!” Tobin yells. 

“He! Could! Go! All! The! Way!” Dom cheers. 

Alex, Syd and Jen can hear them shouting at the football game on TV. Alex sent Tobin back there to hang out with Dom and keep her away from the kitchen. She was expecting Tobin’s mom any minute. Her phone chirped and she grabbed it, looking quickly to see Cindy had arrived. She walked to the front door and sees a car pulling in her driveway. The driver gets out and opens the trunk, removing a medium sized piece of luggage. 

Tobin didn’t know it, but her family was staying at her place until Saturday afternoon. Perry thought it was a brilliant idea and Alex would send her back there with her queen sized air mattress for Katie and her husband. Perry assured her they’d all fit and had done it before. 

Alex steps outside to greet her, embracing her warmly. “It’s so nice to see you!” she exclaims. She really likes Tobin’s Mom. 

“Oh honey, thank you for making this happen,” Cindy smiles. “She really has no clue?” 

Alex shakes her head, “No. She got really bummed out when we were grocery shopping because she would miss your mac and cheese.” 

Cindy laughs gently. “I’ll make sure I give you the recipe,” 

Alex takes her suitcase, “You ready to make your daughter cry?” 

“You think so?” Cindy asks, surprised. Tobin usually doesn’t show that emotion. 

“Bet you five bucks there will be some tears.” Alex smirks. 

“You’re on!” Cindy laughs. 

They head into the house quietly, Alex stashing Cindy’s suitcase in the spare room. She gestures to Syd to greet her in the hallway. They exchange hellos and then Alex shoves her phone at Syd. 

“You gotta video this.” She says. 

The women go into the kitchen, still hearing Tobin and Dom talking about the football game, trash talking to the teams to each other.

Alex gets the ingredients out for the mac and cheese and Cindy starts getting to work. 

“Ready?” Alex asks her. Cindy nods with a big smile. Syd nods, readying the phone. 

“Hey babe?” Alex calls. “Could you help me open something?” 

“Sure thing!” they hear Tobin reply. 

Tobin enters the kitchen, “What do you-Mom?” she stands there, stunned. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hi honey,” Cindy replies, moving in for a hug, “it’s so good to see you.” 

Tobin hugs her, “I don’t understand,” she says, “you’re here?” 

“I wanted to see my baby girl,” Cindy answers. 

“Oh Mom,” Tobin says softly, hugging her tight, “I’m so happy you’re here!” 

As the two embrace, Alex and Syd can see Tobin’s shoulders begin to shudder. Tobin pulls back, tears streaking down her face, “You’re really here?” her voice laced with astonishment. 

“Yes, honey,” her mom replies, moving a hand to wipe Tobin’s tears, “Alex invited me and I agreed only if I could make a tray of mac and cheese.” She smiles. 

“You did?” Tobin says, clearly confused with what’s happening. “You came to make me mac and cheese?” She burrows herself into her mother’s chest, hugging her tight. “You’re really here,” she says through her tears. 

Syd stops filming so she can swipe at her eyes. Alex does the same. 

She hugs her Mom for a couple of minutes, “I can’t believe it,” Tobin says as she takes a step back, wiping at her eyes. She turns to Alex. “You invited her?” her tone still surprised.  
Alex can only nod. Tobin strides over to her, “Babe,” she says, her voice breaking, “that was so sweet of you, thank you so much,” she says as she hugs her fiercely. She kisses her softly. 

“I can’t believe it,” she says looking at her smiling Mother and running a hand through her hair. “You’re really here.” 

“That I am,” Cindy says as she hands her a block of cheese. “Now, would you please cut this in thin slices so I can get started on your mac and cheese?” 

Tobin smiles widly, grabs the cheese, gives her Mom a kiss and spins around to find a knife and a cutting board. 

Cindy looks over at Alex and smiles. “I owe you five dollars.” 

“Want to go double or nothing?” Alex grins. 

Cindy shakes her head with a laugh, “No, I think I’ll lose my money.” 

It’s nearing one thirty and everything is going well. The house smells wonderful, people are mingling, a few more tables and chairs have been set up and Alex is patiently waiting for Tobin’s siblings to arrive. 

Alex introduced her parents to Tobin and Cindy and they fell into an easy conversation. Alex never doubted it but it warmed her heart when her Mom pulled her aside later to tell her how wonderful Tobin was. Her Dad hugged her, smiled and told her what a catch Tobin was. 

Tobin is in the kitchen when the rest of her family arrives. She hears a commotion and then her nephew yelling out “Auntie T!” 

She rounds the corner of the living room and stops in her tracks. She sees Perry, her husband, her nephew Cole who slams into her legs, her sister Katie and her husband and her brother Jeff are standing there, taking off their coats and handing them to Alex and her Mom. 

Her mouth drops open from the shock and she looks at Alex who just smiles in return and heads to the spare room to drop the armful of jackets. She picks up Cole. “How are you doing, buddy?” 

“Auntie T, I got a new Transformer!” he exclaims, holding it up for her to see. “Dude!” Tobin exclaims, “that’s so rad! How does it transform?” She’s preoccupied for a moment while he shows her and then he turns his attention to his Grandma. 

She straightens up and heads to her siblings to greet them. There’s tears and laughter and when Alex returns, she introduces her to her brother and brother in laws. 

Tobin makes sure they get drinks and appetizers as she moves back to the kitchen to Alex and Syd get the meal prepared. Before she gets involved, she pulls in Alex for a warm embrace and kisses her passionately. 

“I can’t even believe you,” she smiles at her, “you went behind my back, you little schemer,” 

Alex smirks at her, “It was Perry who started it,” 

“You’re a sellout too,” Tobin laughs. She kisses her again. “I love you,” she says, her eyes warm and inviting. 

“I love you,” Alex replies, kissing her once more. “Now let’s get this food together.” Syd’s eyebrows raise hearing those words exchanged and she makes a note to speak to Alex later. 

 

 

It’s nearly midnight when Tobin’s family leaves agreeing to come back tomorrow afternoon for a lunch of leftovers. Alex’s sister Jen left with her parents, leaving Tobin and Alex alone. The house is clean, dishes were washed and put away, and they sit on the couch sharing a glass of wine for a nightcap as they rehash the day. 

Tobin is shaking her head, “I still can’t believe how you pulled this all off.” She says, smiling at Alex. 

“Perry said it would be good for you,” Alex quietly responds, “and I agreed. She didn’t want you to travel so soon after getting back on your feet.”

“This was perfect,” Tobin says, leaning in to kiss her softly. “Thank you so much, babe.” She has her arm around her is sliding her hand slowly up and down Alex’s arm. 

“You’re welcome,” Alex smiles, “it was pretty awesome seeing you so surprised and happy.” She says, kissing her. “I want to do that for you for a long time.” 

Tobin smiles at her. “I’m gonna have to step up my game to keep up with that,” she says, looking into Alex’s deep blue eyes. She could get lost in them. 

“It’s not a competition,” Alex says, leaning her head on her Tobin’s shoulder. “That’s why this is so great. I don’t want to keep score with you. You make me happy with little things. I don’t need anything extravagant.” 

“We’ll see,” Tobin murmurs, wheels turning in her mind. 

Alex lets out a yawn, “What time should we be at your place?” she asks. It’s been a long day and she’s getting pretty tired. 

“Well, your folks are coming over at nine for breakfast or leftovers, and I actually just invited them all back here, they’re coming for brunch.” Tobin explains. “It would easier with the food and stuff and we wouldn’t have to pack it all up.” 

“That was a good idea, babe.” Alex yawns again. “I like that everyone will be all together.” 

Tobin yawns as well, “Yeah,” she says, tiredness in her voice, “I like that it will just be us and we can all spend time together.” 

Alex slowly gets off the couch, extending her hand to Tobin. Tobin takes it and they slowly make their way to Alex’s bedroom, “I like you talking about us.” She says. 

“So do I,” Tobin agrees. 

They find Stosh curled up on the bed, exhausted from his busy day. He was social with everyone, hanging out and doing tricks for the guests. Tobin was shooting video of him in action and made a note to herself to text the team to show him off. He was patient with Cole and when the boy got too rough for his liking, he just went and found someone’s lap or shoulder to hang out. 

The two get ready for bed, brushing their teeth, washing their faces and changing into their pjs for the night. Stosh doesn’t want to move, so they slide him in between them and fall asleep quickly. Sometime during the night, Stosh grows too hot from the body heat and he leaves the bed. 

Tobin finds Alex in the hours before the dawn, kissing her softly and slowing snaking her hand down the front of Alex’s sleep shorts. Alex does the same and they move together, slowly at first, enjoying the feel of each other. The room is silent except for their breathing, panting in the dark until their hands speed up their actions, eliciting moans from them both. 

They come at the same time when they both move their fingers from inside each other to quickly rubbing their clits. Breathing heavy, lying side by side in the still darkness of the night, catching their breaths. 

“I love you,” Alex says, kissing Tobin’s forehead. Tobin is a bit further down in the bed. “I love you, too,” Tobin responds quietly, caressing Alex’s breast. They fall asleep quickly. 

 

 

“Tobin, you aren’t seriously having a turkey sandwich for breakfast, are you?” Alex chides. They’re in the kitchen, all of them huddled around figuring out breakfast for the day. 

Alex’s parents are there and Mike looks excited. Jen looks on, thoroughly amused while Pam is making the coffee. 

“Oh, I want one too!” he exclaims, nudging past Alex to get next to Tobin as she prepares her sandwich. 

“You want some mac and cheese too?” she grins at him. 

“Of course!” he laughs. 

“Dad!” Alex exclaims. 

“What?” He says, “It’s Thanksgiving. This is tradition. You’ve got to eat the leftovers before the magical taste wears off.” 

“I like your traditions,” Tobin smiles as she hands him the Pyrex dish containing the mac and cheese. 

“You’re a smart woman.” He smiles and gives her a side hug. 

Jen is making scrambled eggs for herself and her Mother. Alex looks indecisive. 

“Oh, look!” Tobin points, she’s got the fridge open, Mike standing next to her. “There’s lettuce and tomato from the salad.”

“Grab it.” He nods, “I’ll get the mayo and what about some stuffing?” 

“Yeah, it was awesome!” Tobin laughs. 

Alex shakes her head with a smile. 

 

She’s the last one to the table, insisting she was making herself a healthy breakfast. All of their eyes open wide when they see what’s on her plate. She had a nice slice of the prime rib she had made yesterday with mashed potatoes, gravy and two eggs over easy. 

“Woah,” Tobin says softly, eying her plate, “that looks awesome.” 

“Nice and healthy!” Jen snorts. 

Pam laughs, “Just had to show up Tobin and your Father, huh?” 

Alex smiles sweetly at them. “Can’t beat ‘em,” she shrugs, “outdo them.” She digs in. 

They have a nice breakfast, rehashing the day before, Alex’s parents asking Tobin questions about her family and commenting how nice they are. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees as she finishes her sandwich. “I wouldn’t be doing what I do if it weren’t for them.” She smiles, shaking her head. “They sacrificed so much for me,” she says, wiping her mouth with her napkin, “I’m really so incredibly thankful for them.” 

“Tobin,” Mike says, leaning towards her and nudging her shoulder. “You should know,” he smiles, “it’s never a sacrifice when it’s your kids.” 

Tobin looks at him and nods. 

“Tobin, dear,” Pam says, “from what Alex has said about your travel schedule it sounds like you’re the one who has sacrificed.” 

“Well,” Tobin says, fiddling with her silverware, “I do miss a lot of family stuff,” she says, “and that’s hard, but that’s also why it’s just so awesome to see them when I do.” She looks at Alex. “And Lex, I just still can’t believe how you made it all happen, this has to be one of the nicest, most considerate things anyone has ever done for me in my life. Thank you again, so much.” She says it with such sincerity, there’s no doubt how touched she is Alex’s efforts to make it happen. 

Alex is practically melting in her seat, seeing Tobin look at her with such adoration. “You’re welcome, babe,” says quietly, shyly. 

Alex’s parents and Jen exchange glances with smiles while the two are staring at each other. “Well, I for one,” Mike announces, “think the couch is calling my name.” he says and gets up from the table. 

They follow suit and get the kitchen cleaned up quickly and settle in the family room. Alex’s parents take the couch, Jen a side chair and Alex leans up against the ottoman while  
Tobin lays out on the floor with a pillow under her head next to Alex’s leg. They find a repeat of the Macy’s Day Parade to watch. Stosh decides to snuggle up on Tobin’s lower back. 

Alex is absentmindedly playing with Tobin’s hair as she watches, thinking how wonderful the past twenty-four hours have been. She loves how well everyone truly likes one another, both families seeming to just instantly come together. She knows it’s highly unusual but it’s so genuine, it blows her away. 

She lays her hand on Tobin’s back, rubbing it lightly and soon feels the change in her breathing. She’s asleep. If there is one thing that Alex has learned about Tobin, it’s that she needs her naps and loves to take them. Stosh soon stretches out, legs dangling off Tobin’s sides, his good paw on one side of Tobin’s neck, his head laying on the other side, buried in her hair. 

“Isn’t that just the most adorable thing ever?” Alex’s Mom says, looking down at them. Alex looks up and smiles, nodding. Her Mom takes her phone and snaps a couple of photos of her Dad on the couch and Tobin with Alex smiling at her. She sees her Dad is now sleeping as well, head back, eyes shut. She slowly gets up and Jen follows her. 

Alex is making herself a cup of coffee when Jen trails in after her. She nudges her. “She really loves you.” She comments softly. 

Alex looks up at her. “Yeah,” she smiles. 

“She’s really great.” Jen states. “I think you to were meant to be.” She says, her eyes glistening a little as she pours herself another coffee. She tilts her head towards the living room and Alex follows. They sit on the couch, legs curled up beneath them. 

“What do you mean we were mean t to be?” Alex questions, curious to hear Jen’s thoughts on the subject. 

“Don’t you think it’s pretty amazing how our families just get along?” Jen asks. “I mean, yesterday was awesome but it was so weird,” she shrugs, looking into her mug, trying to find a way to explain her feelings. “It’s like we all knew each for ages but just met as well, ya know?”

Alex chews on her lower lip and nods. “I thought it was just me who felt that.” She says softly. 

“No dear,” Her Mom says from behind her, “the Heaths are wonderful people. I really like them and so does Dad.” She slides next to her and puts her arm around her. “I felt like I’ve known them for ages.” 

“I’m so glad,” Alex smiles, “they were so incredibly nice to me after Tobin’s incident. It’s easy to see where Tobin gets it from.” 

“It is, she’s very sweet,” her Mom agrees. 

“It’s fate,” Jen states. “It’s fate that you guys met all of those years ago and then this October, it has to be. You guys were mean to be,” 

The three just sit and smile at each other for a moment until Alex looks at the living room clock, “I should wake her up, her family will be here soon.” 

As Alex stands up, the doorbell rings and she opens it to let in the Heaths. They had stopped at a bakery and brought in a few different cakes and treats. Alex takes them into the kitchen with Perry trailing after her and she glances into the family room to see Tobin slowly rising from the floor. 

Katie comes in and asks her if she can put Cole in the spare room to nap as he had fallen asleep on the way over and she didn’t want to wake him. Alex helps Katie get Cole situated and then comes back to the kitchen to see Jen and Perry laughing over Jen’s sharing of breakfast this morning. 

“That’s Tobs,” Perry laughs easily, “as she would say, the day after turkey sandwich is the bomb.” 

“Well, she hooked my Dad on it now,” Jen says, “and then they passed out.” 

“Oh, is Dad awake?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, the guys found a game to watch,” Jen informs her “and they broke out some beers.” She grins. 

Cindy and Pam are speaking quietly about their daughters when a very sleepy looking Tobin enters the living room clutching a sleepy Stosh. 

“Hey Mom,” she says softly, sliding in next to her and leaning against her shoulder. Cindy puts an arm around her. “Tired, baby?” Tobin just nods with her eyes closed, snuggled into her side. 

Stosh leaves her hands and makes his way to Cindy’s lap, kneading her thighs before settling down to lay there. 

Alex comes in with a cup of coffee for Cindy and sees Tobin back asleep on the couch. “I guess yesterday tired her out.” She comments. 

“Probably the emotions,” Cindy says quietly, blowing into her mug, “she still naps a lot?” 

“More than anyone I’ve ever met.” Alex nods. 

“She wasn’t always like this,” Cindy says softly, “back in 2009, she when she was with the National Team, she was overseas playing and got violently ill. They all thought it was the flu. She went back to her college team, still sickly, gutted it out and then got drafted by a WPS team and then broke her ankle. While she was home recovering, she got sicker and sicker and was hospitalized and nobody could figure out what was wrong with her. She didn’t play for almost eighteen months. It was scary.” 

“Oh Cindy, that’s awful!” Pam exclaims quietly, looking at Tobin, peacefully slumbering on her Mom’s shoulder. 

Cindy glances at Tobin, “Yes, we almost lost her once, but it seemed like she turned the page and started feeling better.” 

Alex is frozen hearing this. She didn’t know this had happened to Tobin. Sure, she had heard she had some mystery ailment, but they played more to the fact that the ankle injury was what kept her from playing. 

“She almost died?” she whispers, her eyes wide. 

Cindy nods, “Once she felt better, she got very serious about her health and diet and made sure she got enough rest. Hard chill, is what she calls it. She’s been fine ever since.” She smiles rubbing Tobin’s arm lightly. 

Tobin’s phone rings, and Tobin wakes with a slight flinch, slowly digs it out of her pocket, yawning as she does so. 

“Hello?” she says sleepily, “yes, this is she,” she pauses to listen. Then her eyes open wider and gets off the couch quickly, walking towards the hallway. They can hear her side of the conversation. 

“Oh really?” A pause, “Seriously? Me?” Another pause. She clears her throat. “I’m absolutely honored, sir. It’s a privilege to play for the team with so many outstanding players.” 

Another pause. “I’m sorry, I can’t today. My family is from out of state and I haven’t seen them since, uh, October.” She’s quiet. 

“Tomorrow?” she asks, “Would you give me a moment to check sir?” she strides back into the living room. “Hey Lex,” she says, “would it be alright if I snuck out for like, two hours tomorrow? Around three-thirty until five-thirty?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Alex shrugs, “We can do dinner around six.” 

Tobin gives her a smile, “Thanks,” she says as she puts the back to her ear, walking away to the hallway. “Yes, I can do that,” she says, “The KGW station? I know where it is, I’ve  
been there before.” She replies. 

“Thank you again, sir,” her voice sounding polished and professional, “this is such an honor, I deeply appreciate it.” 

She comes back to the living room and sits down by her Mom again. “Who was that dear?” her Mom asks her. 

“Oh, they want me to do an interview tomorrow,” Tobin demurs shyly, blushing. “It’s no big deal, just soccer stuff.” 

The rest of the afternoon goes by quickly and Alex and Tobin are in the kitchen when pulling out the food for dinner.

“Holy shit!” Jeff sit exclaims from the family room. They have the news on to check the weather. 

“Tobin Powell Heath!” Perry exclaims. Tobin sighs and massages her temples. 

“Are you okay?” Alex asks her, circling an arm around her. 

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes out. Perry enters the kitchen. “When were you going to tell us?” she demands. 

“Uh,” Tobin, mumbles, looking down. 

“What is going on?” Cindy asks coming into the kitchen with Pam, both looking concerned. 

“Holy shit Tobs!” Jeff yells as he pops in the entryway. Mike is behind him smiling widely. 

“Tobin was named the U.S. Soccer Player of the Year.” Perry announces to everyone. 

“Yeah, it’s on the news,” Jeff grins. 

Tobin is turning all kinds of shades of red, blushing furiously. 

“Baby, that’s wonderful!” Alex says softly, kissing her check. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Tobin says shyly, “it’s truly an honor.” She’s scratching the back of her neck nervously. 

Everyone sort of closes in on her, hugging her and offering praises for her hard work and excellent play this season. Tobin accepts everyone’s congratulations humbly, mumbling her thanks. She’s clearly uncomfortable with all of the attention and soon Perry and Jen clear out the kitchen, telling them they need to get dinner ready. 

Tobin’s looking at Alex like a deer in headlights so Alex takes her hand and leads her to her bedroom. 

“Sit,” she orders, pointing to the bed. “I’ll be right back.” 

She goes back to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle and then heads to the table they had set up with all of the booze as a makeshift bar. She pours out a small amount of vodka and adds some juices to it and heads back to the bedroom. 

“She okay?” Jen asks, concerned. 

“Yeah, I think a little overwhelmed.” Alex answers. Perry nods. 

She enters the room to find Tobin standing by her window, staring out at the fall leaves. 

“Babe,” Alex says softly, not wanting to startle her. “Come here,” she says as she sits on the bed. She offers her the small glass. Tobin hesitates for a moment and then takes it. 

“There’s vodka in it,” Alex informs her. “I thought you might need to settle yourself a little.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin replies with a small, nervous smile. “I do.” 

“You had a terrific season,” she says, “you more than earned this honor.” She says as Tobin takes a sip from the glass. 

“Thanks,” she says, smiling at her. “It just really took me by surprise.” 

“I know, babe,” Alex says as she puts her arm around her. 

“There’s just so many others that had awesome seasons,” Tobin says quietly. 

“Hey,” Alex says, slowly turning Tobin’s chin to face her. “You had an amazing season. You set the assist record with the Thorns. You got two assists at the Olympics, were named Player of the Match for two days, and you scored, what, like five goals for the National Team? And didn’t you have a career high for assists on the National Team? I know you’re humble but you deserved it.” 

Tobin looks at her as she speaks, a slow smile spreading across her face. “Thanks, babe,” she says and leans in to kiss her. They part and smile at each other. Tobin takes a deep breath and grabs Alex’s hand. “We should get back out there,” she says quietly. “If we stay here any longer, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”  
Alex grins at her. “I was thinking the same thing.” She says with a laugh.

 

Everyone is settling down with their plates, so the two grab some food as well and find seats opposite each other at the long table. 

“So,” Mike says with a grin, “have I told you how much I’ve missed soccer?” Tobin shakes her head. 

“Yeah, when Alex stopped playing, it killed me a little.” He confesses. “She was certain of what she was doing, I give her credit for that. She knew she was done and she didn’t really wallow in it or look for pity.” 

Tobin raises an eyebrow at him as she eats and nods. 

“I completely understood where she was coming from, I can’t imagine the injuries she went through, to rehab and come back only to do it again,” he shakes his head. “But once she set her new goals for herself, she just went blazing through it. But, oh, how I missed coming to games. It was part of our lives for fifteen years.” 

“That had to be hard,” Tobin says quietly. 

“Well, it was and it wasn’t. All I, well, Pam and I, all we wanted was for her to be happy. And she is. I’ve never seen her this happy, Tobin and I know you’re the reason.” 

Tobin blushes and looks down. He nudges her shoulder. “You know she has season tickets to the Thorns, right?” he asks. 

“No,” Tobin says, shaking her head. She turns to look down at Alex, actively in a conversation with Perry and Jen. “I had no clue. I mean, she mentioned she follows them but she didn’t..” she trails off. 

“I’m sure she didn’t want you to think she was a stalker or something,” Mike assures her quietly, “especially under the circumstances of how you guys really met.” 

Tobin’s mouth hangs open a little as she processes that new piece of information. She closes it, clears her throat and shyly looks at Mike, “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she says slowly. “Lex is very intuitive and she probably knew that would freak me out a little.” 

She turns to look at her again, just as Alex looks her way. Alex can’t decipher the look on Tobin’s face and frowns for a moment until Tobin gives her a shy smile. She smiles in return as Jen touches her arm, speaking to her and drawing her attention away from Tobin. 

“So,” Mike says with a grin and an eyebrow wiggle, “think you can help me out with tickets to see some games up here next season?” 

“Yeah, totally!” Tobin says with a smile and a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos and comments. I appreciate it very much. Your encouragement means a lot.


	29. The Weekend- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Tobin hang out Alex's parents. Tobin gets sick.

“You’re soaked!” Alex exclaims as Tobin reenters her house. “You need to change right away or maybe take a hot shower, it’s cold out.” 

“Babe,” Tobin says softly as she takes her shoes off. “I’m fine, just a little wet, I’ll go change.” She gives her a peck on her cheek and smiles as she heads to the bedroom. Tobin had been outside saying an extended goodbye to her family, only in her light sweater in a cold drizzle. 

It’s been weighing on Alex’s mind since Cindy shared the story of Tobin being seriously ill. It frightens her. It makes her nervous, hearing that Tobin wasn’t indestructible. Seeing her go through her recovery from her injuries was one thing, but hearing that she suffered through an extended illness that the doctors could never find a cause from troubled her. 

She rubs her own arms, trying to dispel the chill she has just from thinking about it. She turns and shuts the door and walks down the hallway, hearing Tobin whistling a peppy tune from behind the closed bedroom door. 

Tobin enters the living room a few minutes later and sits on the floor in front of the fireplace. She’s wearing a bulky sweatshirt, sweatpants and thick socks with her damp hair in a ponytail and she’s holding a mug in her hand. 

Alex’s parents are sitting on the couch, watching a soccer match. Jen had left right before Tobin’s family. 

“Premiere League?” Tobin asks, squinting up at the TV. Mike nods. 

“So, Tobin,” he says, “next time you’re out at Carson, we should get Alex to come and we could visit.” 

Tobin smiles, “That sounds great!” she says, looking at Alex. “We usually have a January Camp, but I’m not sure that I’ll be called in, but I’ll definitely let you know.”

“Please do,” Pam says with a smile. She looks at her watch, “Mike, we should head out.” 

Mike looks at his watch, nodding, “Yeah,” he stands up. 

“Where are you guys going?” Alex asks, surprised. 

“Uh, we have dinner reservations and are going to see a play.” Her Mom answers. 

“You flew here to have a date night?” Alex questions, standing up as well. 

“Alex,” Mike chides, moving to give her a side hug. “we’ll see you tomorrow. We’re meeting for breakfast and then going shopping before our flight.” 

“What play are you seeing?” she asks. 

“We’re going to see A Christmas Carol at the Portland Playhouse.” Her Mom answers with a smile. 

“Oh,” Alex says, her shoulders slumping a little. “Well, have a fun time.” She gives them a small smile. 

“Let’s go!” Mike exclaims, slapping Pam’s butt lightly as they head towards to living room. Alex glances at Tobin who shrugs her shoulders and gets up and follows them. They say their goodnights and agree on a place to meet for breakfast the next morning at nine. 

After closing the door, Alex gives Tobin a pitiful look. 

“You alright, babe?” Tobin asks her softly. 

“Yeah,” she sighs, “I guess I just thought we’d hang out and play cards or a game or something. I didn’t know they’d make plans of their own.” 

Tobin envelops her in a hug. “Well,” she says, rubbing Alex’s back, “they did, so maybe we can make our own plans.” 

“It’s almost five-thirty, Tobin,” Alex huffs, “we’ll never get in to a decent restaurant on a holiday weekend now.” 

Tobin hums as she sways a little with Alex in her arms. “Up for some Spanish tapas?” she asks with a grin, “I think we could get in there.” 

Alex looks at her and smiles. “Really?” Tobin nods. 

“Yes!” she says, squeezing Tobin tightly, “Let’s do it!” she runs down the hall. 

“Lex!” Tobin calls out, confused, “What are you doing?” 

“Getting dolled up for my hottie!” Alex yells back from her room. 

Tobin saunters down the hallway and leans on the doorjam. “Well, can I shower and get dressed too?” she smiles. 

“Yeah, pick your outfit, then would you mind showering in the hall bathroom?” Alex replies. 

“Well, I’d like to shower with you, but if you insist,” she grins. 

 

 

Nesty had greeted them enthusiastically and personally ushered them to a secluded corner in the private section of the restaurant. He insisted on making some special dishes just for them to enjoy and recommended they let him choose the wine as well. Tobin told him she was driving so she’d only have one glass. 

He told them to hang out for as long as they wanted, they would be having live music starting in a couple of hours and they should stay and enjoy. He pinched Tobin’s cheek and proclaimed he would make her favorite shrimp dish and disappeared. 

“What’s your favorite shrimp dish?” Alex asks and takes a sip of her water. 

“It’s just butterflied shrimp with citrus and salt, it’s really simple but so good.” Tobin replies. 

Soon the small plates begin arriving the two begin eating. “This is really good!” Alex exclaims as she finishes one of the shrimp. “I like making it this way on my grill in the summer.” 

“Yeah?” Tobin questions. “I bet that would be good, do you take the shell off or leave it on?” 

“I take it off, it cooks super fast so I marinate the shrimp first to get the citrus seasoning in there.” Alex explains. 

“I’ve never really had the chance to cook on a grill before,” Tobin says wistfully, “I like cooking over campfires, but” she shrugs, “that’s pretty limited.” 

“What about when you lived at home?” Alex asks. 

Tobin shakes her head, “I wasn’t around much to learn,” she says, trying a grilled scallop, “I was usually training even then and eating on the go.” 

Alex thinks about that, as a teenager she trained as well but was usually home enough for dinner. Tobin was that committed, even as a teenager. Her drive was really strong, even back then, Alex thinks. She thinks about the sacrifices and what Tobin missed out on growing up in order to pursue her dream. 

Alex decides to change the subject. 

“Have you given any thought as to what you’re going to do for Christmas?” she asks. 

“No, I haven’t,” Tobin confesses, “I wanted to check with you and hear what you were thinking.” She smiles. 

“Well,” Alex says as she takes a sip of her wine, “I’m not sure. I know I can’t pull off getting your family out here again, so…” she shrugs. 

Tobin smiles. “Uh, well, I know I’d like to do Christmas with you first.” She states. “We could do it the weekend before or however the dates work out.” 

Alex nods, “Yeah that would be nice,” she says, “what do you think about doing Christmas on our own with our own families and then maybe meeting up in either California or Jersey?” 

Tobin scrunches her mouth up as she thinks and taps her fingers on the table. “I know my Mom would really be disappointed if I didn’t go out there, especially since what happened, you know.” She says slowly. “I’d really like to see your family again too though,” she sighs. 

“Well, let’s just plan to go see them in January even if you’re not called into camp?” Alex suggests. 

Tobin’s face brightens, “Yeah, that would be ideal.” She says, trying her wine. “You know, when we get home, let’s go through the whole first half of the year and just talk about the holidays and what’s on our calendars. It’d be great to try and get a game plan going.” 

Alex nods, smiling at hearing Tobin say home. “Yeah, and we can talk about which holidays are more important to each of our families, you know, if Easter is a big deal for you, then okay, it’s not a massive get together for mine. Stuff like that.” 

They nod at the same time and grin happily at each other. 

“We’ll make it work.” Tobin says and squeezes Alex’s hand. 

As another round is brought out, they survey the table. “I didn’t realize how starving I was,” Alex says, choosing the next item to try. 

“Yeah, me either,” Tobin says, piercing a piece of filet. “So,” she smiles at Alex, “please tell me you haven’t purchased your season tickets yet.” 

Alex looks up at her with wide eyes. “How did you” she starts. 

“Your Dad,” Tobin explains. “Don’t worry about it.” She says. “Would you mind if I took care of that for you?” she asks shyly. 

“Really?” Alex is surprised. 

“Yeah,” Tobin shrugs, “I mean, I’ve got an in, so let me take care of it, okay? We’ll look at the chart and figure out where you want to be or if you want to hang in the Players Box or the team family section.” 

“Okay, sure, that would be wonderful,” Alex smiles, “thank you so much.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got to hook up your Dad too, so I figured you’d want to sit with him and your Mom,” Tobin explains. 

“What?” Alex exclaims. 

Tobin grins, “Yeah, he said he’d like to see some games so I said I’d hook him up.” She shrugs, “It’s cool.” 

“I didn’t think he still watched soccer,” Alex says softly. 

Tobin takes her hand again. “He does,” she says simply, “and just think of the fun weekends we’ll have with them and my Mom when she comes to town.” 

“Tobin,” Alex says, her tone alarmed, “that’s a lot of money, I don’t know,” 

Tobin holds her hand up, “Please don’t worry about it,” she says with a smile, “we’re allocated a certain amount of tickets per game, we get discounts for more,” she explains, “it’s not a big deal. I’d like to do this for you and your parents, okay?” 

Alex nods, “okay,”she says and squeezes Tobin’s hand. “Thank you.”  


“You’re very welcome,” Tobin’s says with a smile. She points at a dish with her fork, “try the filet, it’s awesome!” 

 

They didn’t have a lot of space, but they made it work, slowly swaying to a slow song the band was playing. They’re still in the private section, Tobin holding Alex close, her hand dangerously near Alex’s ass as they dance. Tobin’s trailing soft kisses down Alex’s neck as they move. 

“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Alex murmurs into her ear. 

“It’s not over yet,” Tobin whispers back. 

Alex pulls back to look at her. “Do you have something else up your sleeve?” she questions. 

“No,” Tobin shrugs, “I just don’t want it to end so soon,” she confesses. 

“I have an idea,” Alex says as she looks out on the harbor, “let’s go back to my place.” 

“Sure,” Tobin agrees. 

 

 

“This was a great idea, Lex,” Tobin says as she eats her third s’more. They’re in Alex’s backyard sitting on comfy chairs with a roaring fire keeping them warm. Alex made Tobin stop at a quick mart so she could get the ingredients and instructed her to change into comfy, warm clothes. 

Soon they were in the backyard, Alex building the fire and Tobin opening another bottle of wine. 

“Do you think you’d like to go camping again?” Alex asks, out of the blue. 

“Uh,” Tobin replies, “I mean, yeah, I haven’t really given it much thought, I guess.” 

“Have you ever been snow camping?” Alex asks her intently. 

“No,” Tobin shakes her head. “Have you?” 

“Yeah,” Alex smiles, “it’s pretty amazing.”

“Yeah?” Tobin asks, quirking an eyebrow at her. 

“Yeah.” Alex answers back. 

“Alright, let’s do it.” Tobin says. “Let’s go snow camping.” 

“Really?” Alex asks, sort of surprised. She didn’t really know how Tobin felt about camping again because of what happened to her. 

“I couldn’t possibly think of another person I’d want to go camping with any time of the year but you.” Tobin answers easily. “Hot, buggy, wet, cold, you’re the one. Let’s do it.” 

“Okay,” Alex agrees. “We’ll have to check your gear and see what you may need,” she advises. 

“Like you need to twist my arm for a reason to go to REI?” Tobin laughs, “I’m in.” 

 

 

 

“Babe,” Tobin whispers in the darkness. 

“Yeah,” Alex answers sleepily. She feels Tobin tighten her grip around her. 

“I love you.” Tobin says quietly. 

“I love you, too.” Alex replies, kissing the side of her head and rubbing a hand on her back. “Now go to sleep.” 

 

 

“She likes cashmere,” Pam says quietly, standing next to Tobin. “She only has a couple of sweaters because she claims they’re an extravagance.” They’re pursuing a boutique shop in the downtown section after having lunch. Alex is off in another part of the store with her Dad. They’ve been all around the city, the four of them, Tobin and Alex taking turns showing them unique little parts of the city. 

They move to another display. “She prefers silver to gold jewelry.” Pam murmurs as Tobin nods. 

“Her favorite author at the moment is Agatha Christie. Look in her bookcase to see what she has and then some titles she doesn’t have.” Pam suggests. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says shyly, rubbing the back of her neck. She can feel the headache coming on which is unusual for her. She rarely gets them, usually it’s because she’s hit her head skateboarding or playing soccer. 

She had mentioned to Pam casually about wondering what to get Alex for Christmas and that’s when Pam went into her sly mode. Quietly dropping hints as they moved through the store. Tobin was grateful for it. 

Alex and Mike join them and they make their way out to the street. “Hey Lex?” Tobin asks as they’re walking to the next shop, “Do you have any Tylenol on you?” 

“Uh, sure,” Alex answers, stopping to dig through her purse. “What’s wrong?” she asks as she hands Tobin her little bottle and a water bottle she found in the voluminous bag. 

“Just a little headache.” Tobin answers as she pops two pills into her mouth and chugs the water to swallow them. She hands her the bottle back, “Thanks,” she smiles. 

“Are you alright?” Alex asks her, looking her over. She seemed fine all morning and early afternoon. 

“Yeah,” Tobin shrugs, “it just started.” 

“Alright,” Alex says slowly as they begin and following her parents into the next shop. “You should probably order your Uber so you can be on time, yeah?” 

Tobin looks at her watch, “Yeah,” she says, pulling her phone out and opening the app. They had agreed that they’d wait for Tobin while she did her interview downtown and get dinner in the city before Mike and Pam had to leave. 

Minutes later, the car pulls up. “I’ll text you when I’m done,” Tobin smiles and gives her a soft kiss as she enters the vehicle. 

 

 

“So, how did it go?” Mike asks once they’re seated at their table. 

“Good,” Tobin shrugs, “I mean, they asked a few questions about the season, and playing overseas, and I think I said ‘um’ like a million times.” She smiles. 

“I can’t wait to see it!” Pam says, beaming at her across the table. 

Tobin blushes, “thanks,” she says quietly. 

They order their meals and settle into easy conversation while they sip their drinks. Tobin murmurs to Alex that she’ll drive if she wants to have a few beers and Alex nods. Pam watches the exchange and smiles to herself. 

Mike insists on paying even though Alex and Tobin both offer. The two women insist on paying for a dinner in LA after telling them they were planning a trip in January regardless if Tobin gets called into camp. Pam and Mike enthusiastically take them up on the offer and once they’re outside, they all exchange hugs and kisses while they wait for the Mike’s rental car from the valet. 

Alex and Tobin slowly walk back to Tobin’s car and slide into their seats. Alex notices that Tobin’s squinting a little and she had been relatively quiet during dinner. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, placing her hand on Tobin’s thigh. “You seemed quiet at dinner.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “this headache hasn’t really gone away yet.” She explains. 

“Do you get them often? Like, do you have migraines or something?” Alex inquires. 

“No,” Tobin replies, placing her hand on top of Alex’s as she drives, “I rarely get them.” 

“Maybe you should go to bed to early, huh?” Alex suggests. “Snuggle up with Stosh.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods as she guides the car towards Alex’s place. “Maybe I will,” 

 

 

Tobin crashes as soon as they get back, changing into sweats and a sweatshirt, claiming she was cold. Alex only raises an eyebrow at this as Tobin gives her a quick peck on the cheek and heads to bed. Alex busies herself in the kitchen, quietly packing up all of Tobin’s pots, pans, serving trays and other items she had brought over. 

Once she finishes, she settles on the couch and flicks around the TV, seeing if something catches her interest. She decides on the Sunday Night Football game and heads to her room to change into something comfy before an evening on the couch. 

She’s just finished changing when she looks over at Tobin’s sleeping figure. She’s balled up in the bed, Stosh snuggled behind her legs and Alex sees she’s shaking slightly. She kneels in front of Tobin. 

“Babe,” she calls quietly, “wake up,” 

“So cold,” Tobin chatters at her, shivering under the comforter. 

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, her concern growing. 

“I’m freezing,” Tobin answers, turning her head to look at her. That’s when Alex sees it. Tobin’s sweaty face, her hair soaked, cheeks tinged bright red but her face pale. 

“I’m going to get my bag, you might have a fever,” Alex states and gets up to grab it from her front hallway closet. She’s only gone a moment and when she enters her room Tobin is gone. She turns her head when she hears retching coming from the bathroom. I knew she’d get sick from being outside without a jacket, Alex thinks, shaking her head as she moves to the bathroom. 

Tobin’s on her knees in front of the toilet, heaving violently. Alex gets the bathroom cup, fills it with water and kneels beside her. When she’s finished, she offers her the cup. Tobin takes it, rinsing her mouth and spitting it into the toilet. Then she drinks some of the remaining water. She flushes the toilet and shakily gets to her feet. She rinses her mouth with mouthwash and brushes her teeth quickly. Alex has a hand on her forearm as she guides her back to bed. 

“Just lay here for a minute,” Alex orders, opening her bag and retrieving a few items. Tobin lays down, pulling the covers up, still shaking. Stosh gets up and settles on her chest. 

Tobin closes her eyes. 

“Open,” Alex orders, sticking a thermometer in her mouth. Tobin does as she’s told, chattering away. Alex gets out her electronic thermometer as well, deciding to get an ear reading seeing as Tobin just drank some cold water. 

102.7 displays the electronic reading. Her eyes grow wide at the reading. “You’re burning up,” she says quietly as she pulls the thermometer from her mouth. 102.2 degrees. Alex reaches for her clipboard and pulls out a chart. She noes the time and scribbles down Tobin’s temperature. 

“Okay, babe, I need a few things from you,” she says softly. Tobin opens her eyes, her head shaking slightly from the chills. 

“Is your neck stiff?” She asks. Tobin shakes her head. 

“Are you having any trouble breathing?” 

Negative. 

“Does it hurt when you pee?” 

Negative. 

Alex lets out a breath, “Alright, I’m going to give you some Tylenol and you need to change your clothes.” She instructs, reaching in and pulling out the bottle. She reaches over and grabs the water bottle Tobin keeps on the nightstand. 

Tobin struggles to sit up but gets into the sitting position soon enough. She takes the pills and drinks some water to swallow them. 

“Do you still have your headache?” Alex asks her. 

“No, it’s gone, I feel kind of achy though.” Tobin says, rubbing her arms. “I’m just really cold.” 

“Your stomach hurt?” 

“Nah,” Tobin shakes her head. “I don’t know where that came from. I was fine and then- boom.” 

“Okay,” Alex nods her head. “You need to take off your sweatshirt, I’ll get you a shirt. Take your sweats off too.” 

“Lex,” Tobin whines, “I just told you, I’m freezing.” 

Alex puts a hand to Tobin’s cheek, “I know sweetheart, but you have a fever and these layers aren’t helping you right now.” 

Tobin sighs but begins to take off her sweatshirt. Alex tosses her a t-shirt and then takes her sweats from her. She goes into the bathroom and runs some warm water and grabs a few washcloths that she wets and twists to remove the excess water. She shuts off the tap and returns to Tobin’s side. 

Tobin is back under the covers, chattering away. Alex tenderly places a washcloth on her forehead, and one each on the sides of her neck. She goes to her closet and pulls out her heating blanket and brings it back to the bed. She runs the cord to the outlet, turns the blanket on and then flings the covers off Tobin. 

“Hey!” Tobin snaps. 

“Calm your tits,” Alex says, draping the heating blanket over her, “I brought you this to help warm up.” 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin says quietly, “I didn’t mean to snap at you.” 

Alex nods and gently moves some sweaty hair from Tobin’s face, giving her a small smile, “I understand,” she says softly, “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you or tell you what I was doing.” 

Tobin nods and rubs her eyes, “I’m super sleepy,” she says drowsily. 

“Okay, you get some rest, I’ll be in soon,” Alex replies. 

Stosh makes his way up to Tobin’s chest and settles down on it. Tobin’s snuggled up under the blanket, still shivering although not as violently. Her eyes are closed, sleep is close. 

Alex walks out and sits on the couch, the football still going. She’s distracted and worried but trying to tell herself it’s just a cold, it’s not like it’s the start of Tobin being seriously ill all over again. She shouldn’t be overthinking this. Her phone alerts her to a text and she reaches over to grab it from the side table. It’s Tobin’s sister Katie. 

‘Just wanted to let you know, Cole got pretty sick after we got home last night, vomiting, fever and headache. It’s been going around his daycare and we thought he was in the clear. We thought wrong. Hope you guys are good.’ 

Alex smacks herself in the forehead, laughing a little as she rereads the message. Tobin got sick from his nephew. Cole was hanging on Tobin on Thanksgiving and then most of the day after he got up from his nap. 

Alex texts back. 

‘How’s he doing now?’ 

Katie: Stopped vomiting this morning, fever broke and just sleepy. I think we turned the corner. 

Alex: I think Tobin has it.

Katie: What’s wrong with her? 

Alex: Vomiting, chills, 102.7 fever. 

Katie: Woah! That’s high, is she being nice to you? She can be snippy when she doesn’t feel good. 

Alex: She’s been fine. Sleepy, I gave her Tylenol and the heating blanket. We’ll see how it goes. 

Katie: It’s been a 24 hour thing going around, so I hope that’s the case for her. 

Alex: Me too. I was freaking out a little. 

Katie: You looked really freaked out when my Mom told you about Tobs being sick a while back. 

Alex: I was, still am honestly. I don’t like to think of her being sick. It sounded awful. 

Katie: Well, she’s been doing good ever since so I wouldn’t get too worked up over this. She’ll be fine in a few days. 

Alex: Thanks. Seriously. I’ve been thinking about it all day. 

Katie: Just make sure she drinks- she can get dehydrated pretty easy if she’s been puking. 

Alex: Noted. I’ve got some Gatorade I’ll push on her. 

Katie: Alex, I really hope you don’t get sick, sorry about this. 

Alex: It’s okay, I feel fine. You wouldn’t have known this would happen. Little kids are carriers of types of germs. Happens in my family too. Grateful you reached out so I wouldn’t worry over Tobin all night. 

Katie: Me too. Take care. I know you’ll take care of Tobin. 

Alex: You take care, hope Cole bounces back quick. 

 

Alex let’s out a sigh and leans her head back on the couch. It’s just a twenty-four thing. She’ll be fine. She grows drowsy watching the game and considers if she should sleep in bed with a sick Tobin or just go in the spare room. She feels her feet guide her to her own bedroom, smiling softly as she sees Tobin swaddled in the heating blanket. 

She’s not shivering anymore, yet she still looks sick. Her face is pale with her cheeks flushed red. Alex goes the bathroom, brushing her teeth and using the toilet before turning in. She slowly slides into bed, carefully so as not to disturb Tobin. Alex snuggles in and sighs squirming under the covers. 

She’s just drifting off to sleep when she feels Tobin stir. She gives out a soft moan, then shoots up and sprints a bit unbalanced to the bathroom. Alex can hear that she’s vomiting again so she gets up and enters the bathroom, handing her a wet washcloth and a cup of water when she finally stops throwing up. With a shaky hand Tobin takes the cup and drinks, spits some out and then goes to the sink to brush her teeth. 

“Thanks, babe,” she mumbles as she uncaps the toothpaste. 

“I’d ask how’re you feeling but I think I know the answer.” Alex says quietly. 

“This is awful,” Tobin laments with a mouth full of toothpaste. She spits it out and rinses her mouth with water. She leans against the counter with her head down. She takes a deep breath and then sighs. “I haven’t been this sick in a really long time,” she says softly. “I should pack up and get out of here, I don’t want you getting sick.” 

“Tobs, babe,” Alex says tenderly placing her hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “I think you’re too sick to drive, babe, and I’ll be fine. If I haven’t gotten sick yet, I don’t think I will.” 

“I don’t know,” Tobin says, unconvinced, “I don’t want you to miss work because of me getting you sick.” She says. 

“Babe,” Alex says, enveloping her in a light hug, “We’ve said the I love you’s so I’m saying this- in sickness and in health we take care if each other, okay? Besides, I’ve got tomorrow off as planned anyway, so don’t worry about it.” 

“Thanks, ba” Tobin can’t finish her words before she’s bent over the toilet, heaving what little remains in her stomach. 

It’s going to be a long night, Alex thinks to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a record stuck on repeat but I am truly sincere when I say thank you for each kudo and comment left. Your words matter- they encourage and keep me from abandoning this story. 
> 
> We're nearing the end soonish- there's a few topics left to uncover. 
> 
> On a side note: how would any of you feel about a truly dark story that covers unimaginable loss and our favorites dealing with it and possibly finding love again along the way? I've got an idea in my head that I haven't seen here before but it's doing to be angst filled, dark, death filled and depressing and then showing some light and hope and maybe love. Tobin centric. Some Preath and maybe Talex. 
> 
> Would any of you be interested in reading something like that?


	30. Fevers, Eskimoes, Christmas and a Rescue Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What if they can’t find them?” she whispers, horrified. She hugs herself and looks around the room. Alex had called her Thursday morning when she got the order and quickly informed her that she was going out. 
> 
> “It’s just an overnight, babe, maybe two nights max.” she explains. 
> 
> “But babe, it’s so cold and the storm,” Tobin murmurs, getting nervous already. 
> 
> “I’ll be fine,” Alex assures her, “We have a pretty good idea of where they’re at, it’s a matter of helping them get out. I’ll know when I see them.” 
> 
> “Be careful, babe,” Tobin says with urgency in her voice, “I love you.” 
> 
> “I love you too,” Alex says, “I have to go, but I’ll be back soon, call Syd for updates or Jerry.”
> 
> Tobin wanted to yell at her not to go, but she knew it was her job and she was good at it. From what she said, she might be back Friday. Saturday at the latest.
> 
> Now it’s Sunday and Tobin is trying to will herself into not panicking. It’s not working very well.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> .

It had been a long night for both Tobin and Alex. Tobin was up vomiting a few more times during the night, getting progressively weaker as the night went on. Alex kept pushing fluids but Tobin would drink and then vomit a short time later. Her fever had broke around two in the morning but she still was running a low temperature. Alex was beginning to get worried and thinking she may have to take her to an Urgent Care or the hospital. 

It was around seven when Tobin awoke, eyes tired and bleary, movements stiff and uncoordinated. She lazily reaches for her phone, texting someone and then closing her eyes and setting her phone on her chest. Stosh isn’t too happy with that and bats the phone off her chest so he can lay on her, scooting up so his head was near her and purring throatily in her ear. 

Tobin’s phone dings with a response and without opening her eyes, she pats herself and the bed to find it. She cracks an eye open, squinting to read the message. She replies and holds her phone. She takes a deep breath and then turns to face Alex. It dings again and she glances at it. 

“Morning,” she says, her voice gravelly. 

“Hi babe,” Alex says as she reaches a hand out to stroke Tobin’s arm, “how are you feeling this morning?” 

“Like death eating a cracker,” came the reply. Now there’s a description, thinks Alex. 

“I’m sorry babe,” Alex says truthfully, watching Tobin overnight was heart wrenching. She just see how much strength she lost with each bout of violent vomiting. “It should be over soon, Katie said Cole started to perk up the next day,” at some point in time during the night, Alex had told Tobin of Katie’s text and Cole’s illness. 

“What if this isn’t it?” Tobin questions, her voice wavering, “what if this is something else?” 

Alex doesn’t think Tobin is aware of her Mom telling them about her illness but she has the feeling that Tobin is referring to it right now. That’s when Alex realizes that the one thing that’s been bothering her the last day is something that Tobin carries with her every single day. She has to be strong for her right now. 

“Babe,” Alex says soothingly, “this looks like the flu, nothing more. You’re getting dehydrated so I think we need to go to an Urgent Care or maybe even the ER. If you think it’s more, they can run some tests,” 

Tobin nods, her eyes still closed. “I have an appointment to see Dr. Bre at Providence Park at nine.” She replies, handing her phone over to Alex. Alex reads to the texts, a small smile spreading over her face. 

TPH 17: Sorry to bother you, will you be at PP this morning? 

DOC: Yes, I’ll be there at 8:00. What’s up? 

TPH17: Sick. Fever. Vomiting. Death like. 

DOC: Come in at 9:00. I’ll fix you up. Sounds like the flu. It’s going around. Don’t worry. Don’t panic. You’ll be fine. 

Reading Doc Bre telling Tobin not to panic makes Alex think that the doctor knows Tobin’s history and her illness. She also thinks that this might be something that triggers Tobin a little and upsets her more than it should. But not without good reason, Alex thinks, I’d freak a bit if I had been laid up for months and nobody could figure out what was wrong with me. 

“Do you want to take a shower?” Alex asks, “It might make you feel a little better,” 

“I don’t know” Tobin confesses, “I don’t think I could stand up for that long.” Alex is looking at her and notices a thin bead of sweat on her forehead. She leans up and places her hand on Tobin’s forehead. It’s hot. Her fever is back. 

Alex hauls herself out of bed, she’s tired as well, spending the night sleeping with an eye open for Tobin, checking on her and waking her up to take either Tylenol or Ibuprophen. She gets the thermometer out, places it in Tobin’s mouth and gets the warm washcloths to help break the fever again. 

It takes awhile to get Tobin dressed and ready to get out of the house. She’s very quiet, only speaking when spoken to, but always thanking Alex profusely for every little thing she does for her. Helping her get dressed, putting on her socks and shoes, putting on a flannel shirt, a full zip hoodie and then her jacket. They have a debate about bringing Stosh with and Tobin is adamant at first, her resolve crumbling when Alex explains why it wouldn’t be a good idea. She tears up apologizing to Alex for being an asshole and Alex accepts, knowing it’s all in Tobin’s head. She wasn’t being an asshole at all, she just feels lousy, Alex understands. 

They bounce off each other as they walk down the hallway to the front door, Tobin staggering as if she’s been on a whiskey soaked bender. She practically passes out in the car, exhausted from the exertion. Alex gives her a piggyback ride into the stadium, Tobin’s hushed voice directing her to the training room. Dr. Bre greets Alex and her eyes shoot open when she gets a look at Tobin. 

Alex gets her seated on the training table and hands the doctor her chart she kept. 

“Ah, thanks, Alex,” Dr. Bre smiles, “this is awesome, I wish everyone would be this organized,” she says as she scans it, nodding her head approvingly at Alex’s treatment plan. She lets out a soft ‘ah’ when she reads about Cole. 

“That Cole sure is cute, but his virus knocked you on your ass, huh?” she asks Tobin. She’s trying to set Tobin’s mind at ease. 

“It’s a virus?” Tobin asks, her voice registering a little panic. “I’ll get Lex sick?” she starts to breath heavier. 

“Okay, just relax,” Dr. Bre soothes. She knows Tobin can be a little over dramatic and is trying to stop her from full on panicking. She turns to Alex, “You legally can’t give fluids, right?” 

“I can under a Doctor’s order, but not just on my own unless it’s an SAR operation.” Alex explains. Dr. Bre nods her head. 

“Let’s get these layers off and get you some fluids, huh?” she suggests. Tobin complains she’s cold, wrapping her arms around herself, not wanting to lose the warmth. Alex steps in and helps remove one sleeve of the jacket and hoodie and rolling the right sleeve up on her flannel, only exposing her right arm. Dr. Bre suppresses a smile as she watches Alex interact and reason with Tobin. They get her to lean further back on the table, upright in an angled position. Dr. Bre shoves a pillow behind her head and under her arm. 

On her second try she gets a vein and starts the IV, hanging the bag from the rolling pole next to the table. She brings a blanket over and drapes it on Tobin. She gets out the thermometer to take her temperature and overall check her out. 

Tobin is falling asleep as Dr. Bre finishes listening to her heart, lungs and taking her blood pressure. She is running a fever, it’s hovering around 101 degrees. She gives her some Tylenol, referring to Alex’s notes and then lets her sleep.

“What do you think?” Alex asks quietly as the doctor steps away to chart her results. 

“I really think it’s just the flu, especially if her nephew had it, seems reasonable.” She answers. 

They walk away from where Tobin lay and sit at the nearby desk. “Does Tobin always get this worked up when she gets sick?” Alex asks boldly. 

Dr. Bre eyes her for a second and then nods. “I think it stems from when she got sick a long time ago.” 

Alex nods with her, “I think you’re right, but she’s been fine ever since, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” she answers going through Tobin’s medical file, “I mean, mostly just normal stuff. A couple of years ago a few of the girls on the team got food poisoning while they were on the road. That wasn’t pretty.” 

Alex cringes, “I’m sure it wasn’t.” 

Dr. Bre looks at her, “You’re good with her Alex,” she says warmly, “I think you’re able to handle her really well without making her feel she’s being handled, know what I mean?” 

Alex lets out a small laugh, “I think she handles me too when I get worked up,” she looks over at her. “She’s pretty terrific.” 

Dr. Bre smiles at her. “So are you.” She says. She looks over her chart, “So, I’m hoping we get her rehydrated first and see how she feels. Would you be okay if I sent her home with another bag or two of fluids?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Alex nods. 

“Your notes say she hasn’t eaten anything, so if she’s able to keep some broth down, maybe give her another bag and then she might be out of the woods.” She gets up and checks the IV, the bag is half filled. 

“So,” Dr, Bre says smiling as she sits back down, “I used to be an ER doc, wanna trade some stories?” 

Alex smiles, “Oh yeah,” she says, “I’ve got a couple of good ones.” 

 

 

“Thank you so much,” Tobin says again as she slowly settles on the couch at Alex’s place. “I really appreciate you taking care of me,” 

“You’d do the same for me, babe,” Alex replies and kisses the top of her head, Tobin moves it to avoid her touch, “I’m so gross, babe.” 

“Whatever,” Alex laughs, “hey, so do you think you’re up for some broth and a Gatorade or something?” 

“I’m really not hungry at all, but I know I should eat something,” Tobin murmurs, mulling it over. 

“Pizza?” 

Alex shakes her head. 

“Turkey sandwich?” 

Alex shakes her head again with a smile. 

“Ice cream and a bag of chips?” Tobin asks, with a facetious grin. 

“No!” Alex exclaims, slapping her arm lightly, “be serious,” 

“I am,” Tobin says, “I’d probably eat something like that if you weren’t taking care of me,” 

Alex shakes her head, “You’re having some chicken broth and after that we’ll see how you feel.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Tobin says, grinning. Her humor is back but she still looks terrible. She takes her glasses off and puts them on the end table. 

“Hey Lex?” Tobin calls out before Alex moves to the kitchen, “Did Katie says Cole is doing better?” 

“Yeah, he was better the next the day,” Alex answers. 

“Good,” Tobin nods, “I hate to think of the little guy being sick,” she says as she scratches at her shoulder. She brings the blanket up around her neck and leans back, closing her eyes. 

Alex comes back with a small mug of hot broth and sets it on the end table. She notices Tobin’s eyes dancing under her lids. “No,” Tobin mumbles, shaking her head slowly, Alex can see Tobin’s arm move to her ribs under the blanket. She’s having a nightmare, Alex thinks, she hasn’t had one in a long time. Must be because she’s sick and so tired. 

Alex sits close to her, rubbing her arm, “Babe, wake up,” she loudly. 

Tobin’s eyelids flutter open, blinking rapidly and adjusting the sun filtering in the room. “Hey,” she smiles, tiredly. 

“How are you feeling?” Alex asks her. 

“Uh, alright?” Tobin says as she slowly moves from her slouched position to a more upright one. “My headache is gone,” she evaluates, “uh, my stomach isn’t jumpy,” Alex nods. 

“I think I’m kind of hungry,” she states. She puts her glasses on. 

“Good,” Alex says as she reaches over to get the mug from the end table, “here’s some broth. It’s hot so wait a minute and don’t drink it too fast. Little sips.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin says gratefully taking it in her hands. 

After having a mug of broth and feeling okay after it, Tobin naps on the couch with her feet up on the ottoman and Alex laying with her feet in Tobin’s lap, Stosh nestled on them keeping them warm. Alex wakes a bit later and makes herself a late lunch. 

When Tobin stirs, she unsteadily gets off the couch and heads to the bathroom. Alex checks on her but she’s fine, just peeing. When she comes out, Alex asks if she could give her another bag of fluids and Tobin agrees. They had left the port in Tobin’s arm, so Alex just gets the bag out and affixes the line to the port and opens it slowly. 

After finishing the bag, Tobin seems more alert and Alex finds she doesn’t have a fever anymore. She shuffles to the kitchen, insisting on making her own peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She settles back in on the couch, slowly eating her sandwich. Alex is curled up on the other side, her feet touching Tobin’s leg. 

They are watching some highlights on ESPN when Alex breaks the silence in the room. “Tobin?” she asks her. 

“Yeah?” Tobin turns to look at her. 

“Were you scared when you were sick?” She asks quietly. 

“Well, no, I just felt so lousy…” she replies, shrugging her shoulders. 

“No, I mean, like years ago when you got sick.” Alex says quietly. 

“Oh,” Tobin says, understanding washing over her. “Uh, well, we were overseas playing when it started, They all thought it was the flu. It kind of passed over and got better so when we got back, I finished my season with UNC and then got drafted.” She explains. 

“Then after I hurt my ankle, I started having really bad stomach pains, I was throwing up all the time, they thought I got an infection from surgery. It wasn’t. Then they thought it was my appendix. It wasn’t. Gallbladder. No go.” 

“I got scared when I couldn’t get off the couch and my Dad had to carry me to the bathroom.” She says, shaking her head at the memory. “Then I was back in the hospital, just like, wasting away, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t focus to read, I was just, like a zombie. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. They brought in all these specialists and I was getting blood drawn, like, every single day.” 

“Oh my God,” Alex whispers. 

“Then I got a fever.” Tobin says, leaning her head back. “It got super high and they couldn’t get it down.” She shudders. “I remember this man kept coming into my room and saying how he could make me better if I just trusted him and there something weird about him. He scared me. I yelled at him to go away but he kept coming back, he kept telling me he’d make me better and I’d be rich and famous if I did what he wanted. I started praying to God to make him go away. I was out of my mind, my Mom said I was talking to my Grandpa telling him about the man and it freaked her out. My Grandpa kept telling me to pray him away, he was bad. I was so tired but he kept making me pray and tell him to leave.” 

She looks at Alex, “My Grandpa died when I was twelve.” 

Alex’s mouth drops open. She snuggles next to Tobin. 

“I guess I started having seizures next and they thought I was going to die.” She says. “I vividly remember feeling like I was floating and I looked down and saw myself laying in the bed, people crying over me, the nurses trying to help me. Then I saw this beautiful light, my Grandpa was there. All I felt was love, it was amazing. He told me that Heaven was real so I shouldn’t doubt in God ever again and it wasn’t my time to come there.” A tear runs down her face. 

“He told me I was going to be a great soccer player one day and I needed to be serious about it. I was to be a good role model to kids and use my fame for good only. Not material things. But for meaningful messages.” She runs her fingers through her hair and sighs. 

“They were making a decision on inserting a feeding tube in me and considering if I would get out of the coma I was in when I woke up.” She says quietly. 

“Tobin!” Alex cries, hanging onto her arm. 

“I told them I was hungry and wanted some of my Grandma’s soup. After that, I started feeling a little better each day.” 

She looks at Alex. “They never figured out what was wrong with me. It baffled all the doctors.” 

“I got serious after that. About God, my health, my training, my commitment to soccer. I had long talks with Carli, you know, Carli Lloyd, about training, nutrition, all kinds of stuff. She helped me find the right people to teach me what I needed to know and what I needed to do.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes. 

“Why do you think it happened?” Alex asks her. 

“Well, uh,” she looks down for a minute, playing with the hem of the blanket, “I’ve never said this out loud to anyone. Like, not even Cheney.” She says, looking up at Alex. “I mean, US Soccer kind of glossed it over and never mentioned how close I was to death, and it never got to the press either. It was all kind of played off as this mystery sickness and kept super vague.” 

Tobin takes a hold of Alex’s hand. “To me, I think it was a test.” She says simply. “I was given the test to either become rich and famous and have an easy life but maybe not be the person God intended me to be or I could fight and have a fulfilling life, success and maybe not have it so easy, but I would be the person God wants me to be.” 

Alex wasn’t one for day to day having faith in God, she believed he was out there, she would go to church on occasion, but it just wasn’t part of her day. Unlike Tobin, she didn’t read the Bible or really contemplate if her actions and decisions were based in faith. She was intrigued.

“Do you think the man that kept coming in your room was the Devil?” she whispers. 

“I do,” Tobin nods solemnly. “I think I experienced a spiritual battle that manifested into a physical one and I survived by the Grace of God.” She states firmly. 

Alex doesn’t know what to say to that. She thinks for a minute. “But you don’t, you’re not like,” she huffs, “you’re not like a Jesus freak, you haven’t tried to convert me or anything.” 

Tobin lets out a genuine laugh. “Lex,” she laughs, “I am a Jesus freak, I just don’t randomly start spouting off about it.” 

Alex looks at her quizzically. 

“Like, when the right time comes up, if the conversation merits it, I bring it up.” Tobin explains, “It’s a turn off to some people and they don’t take you seriously if you’re not smart about how you speak of God’s love, faith and the meaningfulness of the Bible.” 

“So, you pick and choose, when the time is right?” Alex questions. 

“Yeah,” Tobin shrugs, “like now, you wanted to know, really know, what I thought, so I told you.” 

“But you said you’ve never told anyone else about it,” Alex responds. 

“I haven’t,” Tobin easily replies, “others might surmise, others just let it go, but you want to know. I love you, Lex and I’ll always tell you the truth, I won’t filter it with you. You’re a complex person, Lex, like, not everything is black and white, but you want to learn about the grey.” 

“Huh,” Alex says, snuggling into her side to think. 

Tobin yawns, “I’ll always tell you whatever you want to know, babe.”

“So, if I have questions about God, you’ll talk with me about it?” Alex asks, thinking maybe she would be interested in hearing more about Tobin’s faith. 

“Always,” she replies with a sleepy smile, “just, maybe, not tonight though, okay?” 

Alex leans over and kisses her cheek, “Of course,” 

 

 

It’s about nine o’clock in the evening. Tobin is feeling back to her normal self, still exhausted but her humor is returning as well as some color in her face. She took a shower and proclaim she felt close to being human again and she hasn’t had a temperature for over six hours and Alex thinks she’s out of the woods. 

“Babe,” Alex says, rubbing Tobin’s shoulders as she sits in the couch, “just stay here tonight. I don’t want you driving yet.” 

“Okay,” is the sleepy response with a head nod.

“I need to go to work but you can just hang out for as long as you want, okay?” Alex says. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, “I don’t think Doc wants me to come in anyway but I’ll text her in the morning to be sure.” 

“Okay,” Alex replies, “And you really should check your phone, there could be something important.” 

“I will,” Tobin whispers, on the edge of sleep once more. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” Alex says, leaving her position behind the couch and offering Tobin a hand up. 

 

 

 

“This is incredible!” Tobin exclaims, her eyes dancing around the small space, her voice tinged with awe and wonder. It’s two weeks before Christmas and her and Alex nixed the idea of snow camping in the forest in favor of making an igloo in her backyard after an unexpected winter storm dumped over two feet of snow in the area. 

“Here,” Alex says, handing her a tarp and a fleece pad, “put the tarp down first and then the fleece, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure!” Tobin happily grins as she does as told. “It’s not super cold in here,” Tobin comments as she spreads the fleece pad out on the makeshift bed area. 

“That’s because of this,” Alex states, motioning to the deeper well she’s standing in. “The cold air circulates over here leaving the bed area warmer.” 

“Huh,” Tobin nods, “that’s so rad,” she crawls on top of the bed, “it’s like super sciency.” 

“Sciency?” Alex arches an eyebrow at her. 

Tobin shrugs, “Yeah, it’s like psychics, ya know?” 

“Uh, you mean physics?” Alex laughs, tossing her another blanket. 

“Yeah, physics!” Tobin laughs. 

Alex shakes her head. 

“Hey, I was a communications major, okay?” Tobin giggles. Giggling Tobin has to be one of Alex’s favorite things to hear. 

“So, I take it you didn’t take too many science classes then?” Alex asks as she scoops a little snow from the sidewall and places a candle in it. 

“Nah, like, I took earth science,” Tobin says, “learned about trees and stuff.” 

“And did you retain any of it?” Alex asks with a smile. 

“Nah, I retained soccer,” Tobin says proudly, “that’s what I went to school for.” 

Alex nods and then shakes her head. Tobin can kid around and put up a front of being just about soccer and not much else, but if Alex has learned anything from their time together, she knows Tobin is highly intelligent. Just in different subjects. 

Tobin leaves the igloo and returns shortly with another stack of fleece blankets and some pillows. 

They had eaten dinner in the house, neither of them feeling that adventurous to actually go through a whole evening outside in the cold. It was still snowing and the temperature wouldn’t get above freezing. Alex declared it would be safe for an igloo that wouldn’t collapse from a temperature issue. 

“Okay, so your boots go at the end of the bed, and your jacket goes on top of us,” Alex instructs as Tobin pulls the covers back and gets onto the bed platform. Both are taking their jackets off and Tobin swings her legs up and shoves her boots down to the foot of the bed. Alex is standing on a small rug she brought out, she figures since their home, they could make the igloo a little fancy. 

Tobin is messing around on the bed when Alex tosses her coat at her, without looking up she spreads it out, waiting for Alex to get in. When she gets hit in the head with Alex’s sweater, she looks up to see Alex smiling devilishly at her and her perky breasts with hardened nipples in the candlelight. 

“Eskimos sleep in the nude, Tobin.” Alex husks out, “didn’t you learn that in school?” she asks, as she slowly takes her pants off. She flings them at her, striking her head again, Tobin being too distracted by Alex’s tits to make an attempt to catch to them. 

“Uh, n-n-no,” she stutters as Alex slides in her next to her. 

“Well, you can keep your socks on,” Alex says as she kisses her deeply, “but lose the rest, Heath.” 

“Yeehaw!” Tobin exclaims as she fumbles to get her sweatshirt off. 

 

 

 

 

“New boots?” Tobin asks as she finishes unwrapping the gift. It’s the week before Christmas but they’re celebrating tonight. It’s a new pair of hiking boots, the exact model replacing what was lost from her incident. “This is awesome!” Tobin exclaims, she hastily opens the box and tries them on. “They’re perfect!” she states happily clunking around the living room. She settles back down, leaving the boots on to open her next gift. Alex has gotten her some new paints, brushes, a cool art box to store her supplies, some candy and a small terrainium filled with exotic plants that she’ll never have to water. She grabs her final gift. It’s a small box, wrapped neatly. She shakes it, watching Alex’s face closely for a reaction and then tears into it. 

“Woah,” she says as she opens the box. “Lex,” she says, staring up at her, “these are beautiful.” It’s a pair of diamond stud earrings. “Thank you so much!” She leans over to kiss her. 

“Every woman should have at least one pair of diamond earrings.” Alex states, “I thought these were you.” Truth was, Alex had raided Tobin’s jewelry box after Perry mentioned something about jewelry as a hint for a gift for Tobin. 

“Lex, this is too much,” she says, eying the box. 

“Think of it as a gift for being Player of the Year. Now you’ll be presentable when you’re on TV.” She smiles. 

“Thank you.” Tobin says sweetly, “I’ve never had diamonds before,” she marvels as she holds the box up to inspect them. “They’re so sparkly.” 

She turns to Alex, “It’s your turn!” she exclaims. She gets up and leaves the living room and is back lugging a huge box with her. She goes and gets a few more packages. 

“Open this one!” she exclaims, thrusting a small bag at her. 

Alex removes the paper to feel something very soft, wrapped in tissue paper. She unwraps it to see a winter hat. “Is this cashmere?” she questions, as she fingers the material. Tobin nods, smiling. 

Alex flips it over and studies the intricate design, it full of different shades of blues and navy. 

“This is so cool,” she smiles, “I love it,” she checks for a tag, “where did you find this?”

“Uh, I made it,” Tobin mutters, blushing furiously. 

“You made this?” Alex asks slowly in wonder, she fingers it again. “This is awesome!” 

“You like it?” Tobin asks nervously. 

“I love it!” Alex exclaims, putting it on her head. Huh, she thinks, Tobin Heath knits. I just keep finding out these wonderful things about her, she smiles at her. “I really do,” she says. 

“I’m so glad,” she says as Alex leans over to kiss her. “it really brings out your eyes.” 

“Thank you,” Alex says sincerely, “Tobin Heath knits,” she muses and then looks at her, “how long did it take?” 

“A few hours here and there,” Tobin says bobbing her head, “I’d bring it with to rehab while I had down time.” She shoves at box at her. “Now open this!” she says, her face positively beaming. 

Alex slowly unwraps the rectangular box, noting it’s from a high store. She carefully removes a beautiful sweater with the same colors as the hat. It’s cashmere as well. “Tobin!” she says, clutching the sweater to her chest, “It’s beautiful!” she holds it in front of again to look at it. “I love it!” 

“I’m glad,” Tobin smiles at her. She shoves a flat heavy package at her. Alex holds up two metal thin plates with a cool Art Deco design, “Are these trivets?” she questions. 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles, “I thought they’d be cool with your serving dishes.” 

“They are,” Alex says as she runs her fingers over the design, “were these handmade?” 

“Yep!” Tobin beams, “I got a card from that guy who does metal stuff we saw at the Art Walk.” 

That Art walk was months ago and Tobin remembered, Alex thinks to herself. How incredibly sweet. 

“I like to support local artists,” Tobin shrugs her shoulders. 

“I think these would look awesome on the counter,” Alex says, “they’re way too cool to hide away in a drawer.” 

“Really?” Tobin asks, clearly surprised. 

“Oh yeah,” Alex says, “for sure.” She nods. They are so cool and unique. 

“Okay, last one,” Tobin says, getting up to lug the large rectangular box towards her. 

“Don’t trust the box.” She informs Alex as she thrusts it at her. Alex has to stand to open it, as she unwraps it she discovers it’s a box for a flat screen TV. She eyes Tobin. 

“I said, don’t trust the box.” Tobin grins. She gets up and stands next to her. “Let me give you a hand,” she says and reaches down to lift out a large wrapped, rectangle. She places against the back of the sofa and gestures to Alex. 

“Open it,” she says excitedly. She stands back a few feet away as Alex tears the thin paper from it. 

Alex gasps when she sees it. It’s a painting of Mt. Hood. Specifically, a sunrise from above the treeline over by the lake at her park. “Tobin!” she exclaims and spins around to see her standing, hands in her pockets, looking down. 

“This is,” Alex can’t speak. It’s in a rough hewned wood frame, the colors dancing off the canvas. She looks back at the painting, the detail is incredible. Then she sees the signature. 

She slowly turns back to face Tobin. “You painted this?” she asks, her voice an octave higher. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, eying her. “I did.” 

Alex crashes into her, “I love it!” she says as she kisses her furiously, “I love you!” she says as she hugs her tightly. “It’s incredible.” She lets her goes and wraps an arm around her waist so they can both look at the painting on the couch. 

“It’s perfect.” She says as she cries. “This is amazing.” Tobin hugs her. “Don’t cry baby,” she says tenderly, “please don’t cry.” 

“I’m crying because it’s so beautiful.” Alex says as she wipes her tears. “How did you do this?” she asks her as she releases her grip from Tobin and grabs some Kleenex to wipes her eyes and blow her nose. 

Tobin takes her hand. “Uh, when I was out with Mara and Liz, I got up early to see the sunrise the morning everything happened. I took some photos and this one was the one I liked the best. So I worked off it to make this.” She explains quietly. 

“You know,” she continues in her low, quiet voice, “it was good for me, it, like, gave me closure painting it. I would think about what happened and all I went through and how we got together. How grateful am I am for you. How much i love you.” She pauses. “I guess, you could say it was therapeutic.” She scratches her chin as Alex looks at her. 

“But really, I’d say it was good for the spirit.” She grins at her. 

“Babe,” Alex says, leaning over to kiss her again, “this is amazing. People would pay a lot of money for this. You’re incredibly talented. You should consider doing this for a living after soccer.” 

This isn’t the first time Tobin has been told she should consider being an artist when she’s done with soccer. Most of the time, it’s from her family, but in her book, it doesn’t count. Like, they’re just saying it to be nice or something. But the confidence that Alex has when she says it, makes Tobin think about it instead of just dismissing it. 

“We’ll see what life brings us, babe.” She says quietly, thinking, maybe, just maybe that would be something to seriously think about. 

“What wall should it go on?” Alex wonders aloud as she scans the room. 

“That one,” they say in unison pointing to the wall in the dining. It would look out into the family room and could be seen through the butler’s pantry. Tobin had spied that spot with this painting in mind. She thought it would be perfect. Alex just confirmed it. 

“Oh, one last little thing.” Tobin says and hands her another small bag with tissue paper coming out of the top. 

“Tobin!” Alex exclaims with a frown, “now you’re over doing it.” She complains. 

Tobin laughs, “Just open it.” 

Alex lets the tissue fly and pulls out a small plastic box. It’s a wall hanging kit. 

“Got a hammer?” Tobin grins. 

 

 

 

 

It’s the middle of February and Tobin is pacing nervously in Alex’s living room. It’s Sunday and Alex had been sent out on an SAR call Thursday and was stuck for three nights with a young couple in a ferocious winter storm. Jerry has been calling and trying to calm her nerves but Tobin’s having none of it. Syd has called to give her updates as well. 

She’s nervous. She’s scared for Alex. She just wants her home. 

Tobin stops her pacing to look at Stosh, he’s sitting on the dining room table looking at her. “What if she got hurt?” she questions him. 

“What if they can’t get out today?” she asks him, he squeezes his eyes in a long blink. 

“Stosh, this is killing me here,” Tobin complains as she paces again. Through the family room into the kitchen, through the butler’s pantry into the dining and around again. 

On her third lap, she stops again, “Stosh, why haven’t they called? It’s on the news that they are in a rescue mode but there’s no other details.” She waves her arms out in frustration at the lack of information. 

“What if they can’t find them?” she whispers, horrified. She hugs herself and looks around the room. Alex had called her Thursday morning when she got the order and quickly informed her that she was going out. 

“It’s just an overnight, babe, maybe two nights max.” she explains. 

“But babe, it’s so cold and the storm,” Tobin murmurs, getting nervous already. 

“I’ll be fine,” Alex assures her, “We have a pretty good idea of where they’re at, it’s a matter of helping them get out. I’ll know when I see them.” 

“Be careful, babe,” Tobin says with urgency in her voice, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Alex says, “I have to go, but I’ll be back soon, call Syd for updates or Jerry.” 

Tobin wanted to yell at her not to go, but she knew it was her job and she was good at it. From what she said, she might be back Friday. Saturday at the latest. 

Now it’s Sunday and Tobin is trying to will herself into not panicking. It’s not working very well. 

“Stosh, what if they hurt her?” she asks with tears in her eyes. She flings herself down on the couch, knee bouncing as she brings her hands to face as she cries. She soon feels a paw on her face, tapping her hand and pulls it away as she looks to see Stosh on her lap. He snuggles up and hooks his good paw around her neck and begins to purr loudly. 

Tobin leans back and strokes his fur as her tears subside. She sniffles as she continues petting him, feeling calmer as she does. When she stops petting him, he sits on her chest and gazes at her. 

“We should have a plan for when she comes home,” Tobin states. Stosh nods slightly and chirps.

“So, like, she could be super hungry, so I have should have something ready for her to eat,” Tobin nods and scratches Stosh’s chin. 

“I should lay out some really warm clothes for her to change into,” she says, a plan coming together. “And I should have her heating blanket ready.” 

“If she wants, we could take a hot bath,” Tobin thinks aloud, “I could give her a massage if she’s sore.” 

Stosh chirps at her with a look on his face that makes Tobin feel he completely understands her. She nods at him. “What else should I do, dude?” he chirps again and looks out the window. Tobin sees the snowy landscape and then it hits her. 

“Oh, fuck!” she exclaims, “I need to shovel the driveway!” 

“Okay,” she says, “that’s a good plan, thanks dude, you really helped me.” Stosh licks her chin and bounces off her chest and lays in front of the fireplace. 

Tobin wipes the tears from the exchange, gets up, finds some soup to make and gets busy. 

She’s taking a break from shoveling the driveway when her phone buzzes. It’s Syd. 

“Hey Tobin, I’m picking Alex up at the checkpoint in the woods, I’ll get checked out and then bring her home. You’re there, right? At her place?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here.” Tobin stutters. “Is she okay?” 

“She’s good, tired, but good.” Syd replies. “It was a rough one, so she’s kind of upset but I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” 

“Okay,” Tobin breathes, “Thanks Syd, so much.” She knew Syd was in a hurry so she didn’t want to hold her up asking a bunch of questions. A rough one, she thinks, was does that mean? She lets it leave her thoughts as she attacks the driveway once again. 

When Tobin finishes shoveling, she heads back into the house, showers, puts on warm clothes and waits. She double checks on the soup, it’s hot in the crockpot, she had laid out the clothes for Alex and the blanket was on standby. She doesn’t know if Alex will want to go straight to bed or the couch. She’ll be ready for anything Alex needs. 

 

When Syd drags Alex into the house, Tobin is frozen in place. Alex is pale, won’t make eye contact and is just following Syd. 

“Lex!” Tobin exclaims when she finally finds her voice. She moves to embrace her and Alex clings to her. 

Tobin kisses her and then Alex buries her head in Tobin’s chest. Tobin looks at Syd, wondering what is going on. Syd shakes her head slightly and just announces that she’s leaving. 

“Baby, what do you need?” Tobin asks her as she gently guides her further into the house. “Do you want to eat something or sleep?” 

“I just want to go to bed,” Alex says, her voice breaking as she tries to hold back tears. Tobin scoops her up and carries her into the bedroom. She sets her down at the foot of the bed and kneels in front of her. 

“I’ve got some warm clothes here for you, would you like to get into them?” she asks her quietly holding onto one of her hands. 

“Yeah,” Alex mumbles tiredly, slowly zipping her jacket. Tobin helps her out of it. 

“Are you hurt?” Tobin asks her as she helps her get into a heavy sweatshirt. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?” Alex shakes her head. 

It sets Tobin’s mind at ease, just slightly, knowing Alex hadn’t suffered harm from another. She diligently dresses her, stands and pulls back the covers and then lifts Alex again and settles her on the bed. She brings the covers over her. 

Alex reaches a hand out and grips Tobin’s forearm tightly, “Stay,” she says, looking into her eyes for the first time. Tobin smiles warmly at her, “I will, I just have to make sure the house is locked up,” she answers, “I’ll be right back.” 

Alex is nearly passed out when Tobin returns minutes later. As soon as Tobin gets under the covers, Alex is flinging herself into her body, curling in tightly as Tobin takes her in her arms. It’s then that Alex begins to cry, while Tobin holds her, holding back her own tears. 

It doesn’t last long, Alex’s crying, because her exhaustion takes over and she falls to sleep shortly after her crying jag. Tobin’s left wide awake, holding onto to her tightly, fearing whatever it is Alex had to endure. Soon, when she feels Alex’s grip relax on her, Tobin shifts to pull Alex up against her side and the two lay there, as Tobin drifts off to a troubled sleep. 

 

Tobin awakes to feeling a weight on her chest, then a tapping on her face. Stosh is sitting on her, tapping her cheek with his paw, looking at her intently. Tobin scratches his jaw and turns to face Alex who is also slowly waking up. 

“Hey babe,” Tobin says softly as Alex stares at her. Her eyes are clearer and she doesn’t look as tired as before. Tobin has no idea what time it is or how long they slept. 

“Hi,” Alex replies softly, nearing Tobin’s face and giving her a kiss. Stosh moves from Tobin and settles on Alex’s chest, purring loudly. He places his head near her throat, wiggling his head as she lightly strokes his fur. 

“Hey, dude,” Alex says, “how you doing?” 

With that, Stosh recoils and sits there for a second, before he touches her cheek, ever so softly and then licks it. He leaves before Alex can register what happened. She’s blinking back tears and looks to Tobin, who’s smiling at her. 

“He missed you and is glad you’re back,” she says quietly as she hugs Alex tightly, “so am I.” 

“Me too,” Alex murmurs, arching her neck as Tobin kisses her gently. 

Tobin pulls back to look at her, “Are you hungry? I made soup,” she offers. 

Alex’s stomach growls, “Yeah,” she replies with a small smile, “I could eat.” 

“You want to here or?” Tobin asks, unsure what Alex wants. 

“I’ll get up,” Alex replies, stretching her arms and shifting in the bed. Tobin slides out of bed and heads to the kitchen, she had defrosted a frozen loaf of French bread and threw it in the oven, thinking some nice warm bread would go well with the soup. 

She laid the electric blanket on the couch in Alex’s spot, turning it on so it would be warm for her. She sees Alex pad out into the family room, looking around her house as if inspecting it. 

“If you want to sit, I’ll bring it out to you,” Tobin offers, unsure what Alex needs, she shifts her weight, looking intently at her. 

“That would be great,” Alex says absentmindedly as she stares at the fireplace before quickly looking up and giving Tobin a small smile, “thanks.” 

Tobin finds her curled up under her blanket when she returns with a bowl of soup and a plate with a few bread slices and a pat of butter. She hands it Alex and then gets a couple of glasses of water, bringing those out and then getting her own bowl of soup and bread. They sit in silence, not bothering to turn on the TV, it’s comfortable but Tobin’s mind is racing. 

She doesn’t know what happened, she doesn’t know why Alex is so upset or if she’s just so exhausted. Syd eluded that something happened but Tobin doesn’t want to push Alex just yet. 

“Would you like to take a hot bath after this?” Tobin asks her. 

“That would be wonderful, babe,” Alex answers, giving her a real smile. “After sleeping on the ground for a few nights, that would be perfect.” 

“Maybe I should give you a massage after,” Tobin murmurs, knowing the massage table is in the closet of the spare room. “You’ll probably be sore if you aren’t already.” 

“If you want, I’d like that very much,” Alex answers. 

“Good,” Tobin smiles at her. “It’s a plan.” 

Tobin slides in behind Alex in the steamy water, running her hands along Alex’s shoulders she leans back into her. Tobin runs a washcloth along her back, soaping it up and tenderly trailing her fingertips on her shoulders. They relax for a while in the sudsy water and then Tobin starts the shower and they get up to shower actually get clean. Tobin washes Alex completely, slowly, and gently, as if she would break her if she was too rough. She places gentle kisses on her, not escalating into their usual hot and heavy make outs and groping and leads to sex on the bed. She’s chaste, reverent to Alex. 

She dries her quickly and leads her to the massage table. Both still naked, warmed from the bath and shower, Alex lays flat on her stomach on the towel Tobin had placed on the table. Tobin straddles her as she puts some lotion on her hands. As soon as she glides them across Alex’s shoulders, Alex lets out a low moan. 

“Oh babe,” Alex moans, “you feel so good,” 

Tobin keeps kneading her tight muscles, working the knots out. She works her shoulders thoroughly, knowing that they’d be sore with the heavy pack Alex carries. She works her lats, then down her sides and to her lower back. With as many massages Tobin’s received over the years, she herself could be a masseuse. She’s skillful. 

She scoots back as she takes Alex’s ass in her hands, manipulating the muscles. Alex moans again in appreciation of her hands. 

The thighs, being careful to stay on track and not make this sexual. Not yet. Tobin worships Alex’s body with her hands, working her aching calves, standing back up so she could work her feet. 

“Would you like to turn over?” she asks Alex quietly. 

“Oh, yeah,” Alex hums as she turns over to face Tobin, eyes locked on her. Tobin looks at her with adoration, “Feeling better?”

“Uh huh,” Alex replies, a slow smile spreading across her face as Tobin works on her feet. Then calves. She works her quads hard, knowing they needed it, but then occasionally she’d let her hand slip into Alex’s inner thigh, teasing just a bit.

“Tobin!” Alex whines, her hips rising. 

Tobin continues up Alex’s body, now straddling her. She massages her toned stomach, up to her breasts, gliding over them to make Alex whine again. She massages her neck and shoulders, Alex’s arms lying at her sides. She leans in to kiss to her. 

Alex brings a hand to the back of Tobin’s neck and kisses her fiercely. Deeply, passionately. She wants her. She wants Tobin to take her. 

“So,” Tobin smirks as she pulls back a little to look at Alex, “do you want your massage to have a happy ending?” 

Alex barks out a laugh only to pull Tobin back in close. “You’re such a dork,” she laughs, “but if you don’t fuck me right now, I think I’ll go insane.” 

Tobin looks at her with her eyebrows furrowed. Oh shit, Alex thinks, what did I do. 

“I’m not going to fuck you, babe,” she says softly, there’s a little hurt in her voice. “I’m going to show you how much I love you,” 

“I’m sorry,” Alex starts, but Tobin smiles and puts a finger to her lips. “Ssshhh,” she says as she leans in to kiss her. 

“I was so worried,” Tobin starts as she kisses Alex’s neck, “I was so afraid for you,” she licks her collarbone, biting down a little and then sucking on it. It’s sending Alex off the charts, her hips moving beneath Tobin, “I was praying you’d be okay,” she says as she teases Alex’s breast with her fingers, sliding her body down so she can take a breast into her mouth. She massages Alex’s breast with one hand while she sucks on the other. 

“I just wanted you home, in my arms,” Tobin says, her body trembling as she moves a hand to Alex’s thigh, massaging it slowly. “I wanted you here, so I can do this with you,” she says as she lowers herself in between Alex’s legs, sliding her own legs off the table so she can lean her belly on the edge and prop her elbows up. She looks at Alex with an intensity Alex hasn’t seen before. 

“I love you, Lex,” Tobin says, tears in her eyes, “I don’t know what I’d ever do without you,” she states, continuing to massage Alex’s thighs, “I’ve never felt what I feel with you, ever in my life,” she says, her voice shaky. 

“I love you, too,” Alex says extending her hand to Tobin. “You’re it for me, I’m yours forever,” 

Tobin kisses her hand, and still holding it, begins to kiss Alex’s inner thigh. Tobin soon drops her hand as she uses both of hers to spread Alex’s leg, making them hang off the sides of the massage table. She spreads Alex open with two fingers and slowly moves her tongue over Alex’s throbbing core. 

“Mmmmmm,” Alex moans as her hips rise trying to get more pressure. Tobin looks up to see Alex with her eyes shut, mouth open, hands on her own breasts, massaging them slowly. 

Tobin picks up the pace and swirls her tongue around Alex’s clit, humming into her as she does, bringing Alex’s hips off the table. With her other hand, she slowly massages Alex’s opening, tracing around with two fingers, nudging at it as she goes. Alex moans again at the sensation, gasping when Tobin slowly slides into her with those two fingers. 

Tobin begins a slow pace, Alex matching her movements, moaning at Tobin’s touch. Tobin licks at her bringing her tongue to meet her fingers and then rising again to bathe her clit. She starts to pick up the pace, murmuring an ‘I love you’ as she does, Alex stuttering the sentiment back to her. 

Alex’s heavy breathing fills the room, with Tobin’s own beginning to increase at the sight of Alex in front of her. Arms back, hands gripping the top of the table, legs off the side, her chest thrust forward as her hips move. It takes great restraint for Tobin not to dip a finger in between her own legs as she sees Alex in this state of bliss. 

She begins to rock into her, curling her fingers to hit that special sweet spot that makes Alex cry out every time she hits it. She attacks Alex’s clit with fresh vigor, tonguing around it, then taking it in her mouth and sucking on it, getting the full taste of Alex. 

Alex is bucking her hips, crying out, “Tobin, don’t stop, please!” she begs. Tobin stops her fingers and just flat out curls her fingers inside her, over and over again until Alex is loudly cussing. 

“Fuck it feels so good!” she cries out loudly, “Don’t stop- fuck!” 

Tobin doesn’t stop, but she brings her other hand up to furiously massage Alex’s clit, practically sending her off the table, loudly proclaiming that she’s coming. Wetness from Alex is drenching her fingers, leaking out on to the table. She lowers her head and laps at her core, fingers of both hands working Alex hard. 

When Alex’s body stiffens straight, Tobin slows down her movements, slowly taking her hand from her clit and replacing it with her tongue. Alex’s hips keep jerking, her moans not stopping as she melts from her orgasm. Tobin slowly removes her fingers from inside Alex, tracing her them along her edges, and then bending to get a towel from the floor and wipe herself off. 

Alex is catching her breath, unable to move just yet. Her hips are flinching with aftershocks and when she opens her eyes, she sees Tobin, by her side, looking down at her with such love, it makes her tear up. 

“I love you,” she says, trying her best to emote with her voice just how much she does. 

Tobin strokes the sweaty hair on Alex’s forehead, “I love you, too,” she says, giving her a smile that makes Alex’s heart melt and her body hunger. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” Tobin offers gently picking her up as if she weighed nothing and carrying her bridal style into the bathroom for another shower. 

As much as Alex wants her, she can only let Tobin wash her gently, lovingly and then dry her off and help her get dressed in warm clothes. Tobin throws on sweats and a t-shirt. 

She looks at the time, “Do you want to go to bed or stay up? Are you going in tomorrow?” 

Alex shakes her head, “I want to sleep in your arms, I’ll file my report from here tomorrow.” 

Tobin nods and pulls the covers back, getting into bed and throwing back Alex’s side so she can crawl in. Alex nestles herself in Tobin’s arms and lays her head on her chest. Tobin rubs her back, lightly trailing her fingers along her spine, which never fails to give Alex goosebumps. 

“They were just stupid college kids,” Alex states. “They thought they’d go camping for a night and didn’t bring anything proper.” She says. “I don’t know who was working the desk, but they certainly didn’t check out what those two had.” 

Tobin hums to show that she’s listening. 

“They made it to where they said they were going, it wasn’t that far off from where you were, actually. But the next morning the snow came and they decided to wait it out, not knowing it was a multi-day front. By the time I got to them, Steve had left, determined to go for help and left Lilly there all alone. She was terrified. She was able to keep a small fire going, but she was hypothermic. She was out of food. She didn’t have the right clothes or anything.” 

“I was able to get her warmed up and fed, and we had to wait the night out. I called in our location and told them about Steve being out there so they launched a second, larger party to look for him.” She shudders a little and Tobin holds her tighter. 

“Their tent was in tatters so I made a shelter, kind of like yours, found some dry wood, and got us set up. The first night wasn’t so bad, but the storm didn’t let up and Lilly was acting strangely. She was really out of it when I came to move her to the new shelter, and it took me a little while to realize that she had taken some Xanax to calm herself down.” 

Tobin gasps. 

“Well, she calmed the fuck down alright, almost into a coma,” Alex says, anger in her voice, “I had to call it in and tell them we wouldn’t be trying to get in that day because of her.” 

“Babe,” Tobin says quietly, kissing Alex’s temple. 

“We stayed put and waited, the snow was so thick, the SAR team was having trouble with the snowmobiles. It was too sticky and wet. Lilly came to but was still out of it, calling for Steve and begging me to go look for him. So, the team got some horses and had come out that way. We loaded Lilly on a stretcher, she was still out of it and they took her. I was waiting for the next group to come and get me, when one of the members got thrown from his horse and they had to rescue to him. He broke his collarbone and got a concussion. 

So I sat, one more night out there until the crack of dawn when Syd got me with a snowmobile.” 

Alex glances at Tobin and sees tears streaking down her face. “I was fine, just missing you.” She says and she kisses her lips. 

“I told Syd to give you updates and not to make you worry or feel like anything was wrong. I didn’t want you to panic.” 

“I was panicked,” Tobin lets out, her voice uneven. “I almost went to the station.” 

Alex turns to face her, “I figured you might, so I told Jerry to talk to you too,” she says. “I really was okay, I mean, physically, I was warm, dry and had food and a shelter. I was just upset about those stupid kids.” 

Alex sighs and snuggles into Tobin further. “They found Steve about five miles away, he had gone off in the wrong direction. He froze to death.” She says quietly. 

Alex hears the sudden intake of breath from Tobin. She looks at her as Tobin lets it out slowly. “I really wish he would have waited,” Alex says, the emotions of her event finally freeing itself from her will. She cries into Tobin, feeling her strong arms around her, keeping her safe and protected. Tobin strokes her hair as she cries, not speaking, just holding her. 

Alex is so grateful for Tobin. Tobin, who seems to know just what she needs. Tobin, who doesn’t speak hollow platitudes about what happened just to say something and weakly try to make Alex feel better. Tobin, who remains silent, steady and listens. Really listens. Alex thinks when Tobin listens, she listens to Alex’s words, her heart, her mind and her body. 

It’s like an instinct for Tobin to hold Alex how Alex needs to be held, to be quiet when Alex needs silence. 

Alex figures Tobin’s mind might be going a mile a minute but she remains with Alex, in the present to listen and be there. Alex is so grateful for her. 

“I’m so sorry you had to experience that.” Tobin says softly, breaking the silence. “It sounds truly heartbreaking.” 

“Yeah,” Alex says, turning to face Tobin again, “I’m grateful I wasn’t there when they told Lilly about Steve. I think she really loved him.” 

“As soon as Syd and I got back to the station, Jerry asked me if I was okay and then ordered her to take me home. He was so pissed about how the rescue went.” She says quietly. “Syd told me that Jerry was furious, one of the guys didn’t put the right treads on the snowmobiles, another forgot to saddle his horse properly, it was a shitshow. I think people are going to get suspended or fired over this.” 

Alex lays there, feeling Tobin’s steady breathing. This is it, she thinks, this is what I want for the rest of my life. I can get through anything as long as Tobin is at my side. 

Alex pulls back and draws an elbow up to rest her head in her hand. Tobin mimics her position so they can look at each other. 

“I’m sorry I worried you, babe,” she says sincerely, “I never want that to happen.” 

Tobin gives her a soft smile, “We can’t promise that won’t happen again,” she says, “I understand that your job can be a little risky. I get that. But I’ll always worry about you. It’s how I’m wired. It’s because I love you so much.” 

“But I don’t want you to think I’m risky, like, I do this for kicks.” Alex protests. 

Tobin nods her head, “I know you don’t babe,” she says, bringing a hand to lightly hold her jaw. “You have a sense of duty and pride for what for you do. You take it seriously and you do so much good for others. You touch lives in ways you can’t even begin to imagine and that makes me so happy and proud to be with you.” 

“I can say the same for you,” Alex says, reaching up and holding Tobin’s hand. “You do the same, although in a different way.” 

Tobin rolls her eyes, “I play soccer, Lex, not much lifesaving shit there.” She snorts.

“But you do,” Alex insists. “You don’t know how many people you inspire, through how you play, your hard work, your complete joy of life, overcoming injuries.” she looks her in the eye. “Your faith. I bet there’s thousands of people who came in contact with you and it changed their life for the better.” 

Tobin sighs and looks down, “It’s still not the same,” she says quietly. 

“I know,” Alex states, “it’s not the same, but it’s just as important. You’re doing what your Grandpa said you should be doing. You’re a good role model and people look up to you. You’re a leader in your own quiet way and people see the value and strength of how you do that.” 

Knowing Tobin hates to admit it, but knows she right, Alex decides to change the conversation. “Besides, it helps that you’re fucking hot, Tobin.” She says, wiggling her eyebrows at her. 

“I can same the same for you,” Tobin repeats her line back to her, tickling her side. Alex shrieks as Tobin continues and then they begin to wrestle under the covers. Alex pins Tobin down and stares at her from above, “You’re really something else, Tobin Heath.” She breathes out. 

Tobin flips her, with a strength that makes Alex think she’ll never win a wrestling match against her, and looks down at her. “So are you Alex Morgan.” 

“Oh, and Tobin?” Alex says as Tobin lays down next to her, “Yeah?” 

She looks her right in the eyes with a smirk, “I do own a snowblower.” 

Tobin just laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Faithful Readers, you are wonderful. Wrapping it up in the next chapter. Thank you for sticking around and your kudos and feedback. Your encouragement lifts me. Hope you enjoy.


	31. January & Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Tobin spend time together in California and face their future together. 
> 
>  
> 
> Smut alert.  
> Like, serious, this is the last chapter of the story and we had to end on a smutty note.  
> You know, for like, artistic reasons.  
> So, smut. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> .

“She really did it,” Alex muses, watching from the shore. Her sister Jen bumps her shoulder. 

“I don’t believe it!” Jen laughs as they both have their eyes trained to the water. They’re at the shoreline, in California, in January, visiting Alex’s parents. Today is a beach day. It’s been unseasonably warm for the month and Tobin convinced them the water wouldn’t be too cold. 

She’s out on a rented surfboard, filming with a GoPro on a stick as Stosh stands in front of her, surfing confidently through the waves. He’s wearing his life vest from Ashlyn and appears to have no fear. When Tobin kneels back down on the board as the wave peters out, Stosh moves up her arm and rides in to shore on her shoulder. 

As soon as she’s out of the water, she’s surrounded by kids and some adults who want to meet her and Stosh. Alex and Jen watch as little kids run from the group only to return with a pen and something for Tobin to sign. She patiently signs items and takes photos with them and then makes her way to up to Alex and Jen. 

“Hey!” she exclaims, eyes dancing with delight. “Did you see how he took that wave?” 

“Sure did!” Jen laughs, “I can’t believe you taught your cat how to surf.” She shakes her head. “That’s so awesome, Tobin!” she says holding up a palm for a high five. 

“Stosh, you did so good, didn’t you!” Alex says, reaching to get him from Tobin’s shoulder. She frees him of the vest, setting him down on the warm sand so he can shake his wet fur out. She picks him again and wraps him in a towel. 

“I think he’s done for the day,” she announces, holding his paw, “His paws are ice cold.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Tobin nods, “Let’s get the little guy warmed up.” She says as she changes her grip on the board and they walk back to their area. Jen takes the GoPro from her as they walk and Tobin props the board up in the sand. 

Alex sits down, making sure Stosh can feel the sun’s warming rays as she massages the towel to warm him up. He must be cold because he’s very content to sit there and closes his eyes. Alex looks up to see Tobin unzipping her wetsuit, exposing her rock hard abs as she does. Alex unconsciously licks her lips at the sight, knowing tonight she has something special planned for Tobin. Tobin had used her miles and was able to rent a beach house for dirt cheap and they had been spending a few days there already after staying with Alex’s parents. 

Tobin wasn’t called in to camp, visiting only for a checkup by the team’s physicians, bringing Alex and Stosh along with to visit with everyone on the team. They met up again for an evening at the beach house, laughing and telling stories, Alex feeling comfortable with everyone she met. 

It’s late that night when Allie Long finds her after having a glass of wine too many and leaning heavily on Alex’s shoulder. “I love you, Alex,” she grins happily, Alex giving her a confused smile, “Okay,” she nods, “I love you, too, Allie.” She grins. 

“No,” Allie says, squaring her shoulders and gripping Alex’s so they’re face to face. “I know I’ve had too much to drink tonight,” she begins, “but I’ve never told you how much I love you.” She says earnestly. 

“Oh, Al.” Alex begins but Allie clumsily brings her finger to Alex's face and smushes her lips. “Sssshhh,” she says in a loud whisper. “You need to know this, Alex.” she says, suddenly looking serious. “I love you because you are so awesome for Tobin.” She declares. “The two of you together,” she sighs exaggeratedly, “it’s like, watching a love story unfold before your eyes.” She says, tears forming in her eyes. “You make her so happy and I just love you to death for that!” she cries and pulls Alex in for hug. “I’m so happy my best friend is finally happy and in love!”

She frees Alex from her grip and takes a step back to look at her. “Oh, and whatever you do to work out? Keep doing it, you have a rockin’ bod and Tobin can’t keep her hands off you. So keep it up. And,” she emphasizes the word, “you have to tell her I need to be her Matron of Honor when she wifes you up, okay? Not one of her sisters. Me.” She points to herself. “Me. Got that?” 

Alex nods as she surpresses a grin. “I’ll tell her,” she says solemnly. 

Allie hugs her again, “You’re Harry’s chick,” she says happily, “and I’ll be Harry’s MOT!” 

“Hey you two!” Tobin says, smiling as she approaches them, Alex grinning like crazy. Allie lets go of her to look at Tobin. She launches in to hug her. “I love you, Harry!” she cries. “I’m so happy you’re happy!” 

Tobin looks at Alex who is shrugging with a wide grin. “I’m so happy that you’re happy I’m happy,” Tobin says, patting her back. 

Allie pulls back, looking Tobin dead in the eye. “You keep on keeping on, Harry, okay?” she says seriously, “You’re gonna be back and awesome and your cat is awesome and I’m going to get some water now.” She releases Tobin, who looks stunned and walks away, a hand trailing on the wall as she unsteadily goes to the kitchen. 

“What was that all about?” Tobin asks Alex. 

Alex kisses her and hugs her gently. “Allie is just really happy that you’re happy, babe.” 

“MUST BE LOVE ON THE BRAIN!” Allie sings loudly using her water bottle as a microphone, pointing at the two as she smiles and glides into the living room. Tobin laughs and shakes her head. She takes a sip of her water, offering the bottle to Alex who takes a drink as well. “She can’t really handle her liquor like she thinks she can.” 

Alex laughs, “Oh, you have no idea!” 

The team clears out early, citing an afternoon practice and the need to recover from drinking before then. Soon Tobin and Alex are alone, silently cleaning up plastic cups and Tobin taking the trash out while Alex straightens up the kitchen. It wasn’t so bad, they had ordered pizza and had some beers, wine and vodka, Allie was probably the rowdiest of all of them. 

Alex smirks to herself as she heads up the stairs while Tobin is checking the doors to make sure everything is locked up. They’ve only done this a few times and each time, Tobin has loved it. Alex was surprised how receptive Tobin was when she asked her about using toys in the bedroom a few weeks ago. Tobin admitted it was never really her thing but she also didn’t have any types of relationships where it had come up. She just didn’t think about it. She was willing, heck, she was eager to try it with Alex. 

Alex looks over to the bed, grateful it’s got a heavy brass headboard and footboard. She goes her to luggage and picks out a few items leaving them on the bed and heads into the bathroom. She smiles as she gets ready for bed, rubbing her legs together, feeling the excitement building in her. She scoots out of the bathroom and pretends to be reading in bed when Tobin finally comes up. Tobin disappears into the bathroom and she can hear the water running as Tobin prepares for bed. 

She comes back into the bedroom, her pants unzipped, shirt off and in her sports bra, heading to her suitcase to change clothes. 

“You won’t need those,” Alex says, her voice low and sultry. 

“Oh?” Tobin questions, a sly grin appearing on her face. “Is that so?” 

“It is,” Alex nods as she gets up from the bed to stand in front of her. She hooks a finger under the edge of Tobin’s bra, “you need to get out these.” 

Tobin looks into her blazing blue eyes, “I might need some encouragement,” she whispers. 

Pulling her finger out from under the bra, Alex trails it on Tobin’s chest, slowly circling her, finger never her body. “I have things I need to do to you,” Alex whispers as she bends in from behind and sucks on Tobin’s neck, “things I need to do with you.” She says, caressing Tobin’s back, her hot breath on her neck. She hears Tobin swallow and sees the goosebumps that have popped up on her skin. 

Alex backs away and stands in front of her again. “So, I need you out of these clothes,” she commands, her raspy voice making Tobin instantly wet. Alex begins to undress slowly to taunt her into action. 

Tobin is naked before Alex, staring at her as she takes her sweet time getting out of her bed clothes. “On the bed,” Alex says with a tilt of her head, “in the center.” 

Tobin smirks at her as she mounts the bed, crawling up and then sitting with her legs out and hands flat out behind her. Alex grabs a scarf from her stash and slowly kneels on the bed. She crawls up to face her. “Are you up for something a little different, babe?” she asks her quietly. 

“What do you have mind?” Tobin questions, her breathing increasing. Alex is straddling her, both hands rubbing Tobin’s biceps. She leans down and kisses her passionately. “I want to tie you up and have my way with you,” she says, “I want to listen to your body and make you feel amazing.” 

Tobin’s mouth drops open as Alex brings her head away from her ear, looking into her eyes. “Do you want me to get you off first?” Tobin questions, her voice low, barely above a whisper. 

Alex shakes her head, “Babe, you’ll be getting me off,” she says, “just a little differently.” 

They lock eyes. “I’m yours,” Tobin says, as she leans forward and Alex meets her lips as they kiss.

Alex holds up a strip of material, “May I blindfold you?” she asks, her eyes dancing with lust. 

“Whatever you want, babe,” Tobin replies, “I trust you.” Her eyes are as big saucers, her legs squirm together. 

“Put your hair up in a bun, sweetheart,” Alex instructs and Tobin begins to mess with it. Alex kisses her again as she brings the scarf up and slowly ties it on, blocking Tobin’s vision. 

“Not too tight?” she asks, drawing this out so Tobin will be begging. She knows, once she starts playing like this Tobin can’t say no. 

“No, it’s fine,” Tobin breathes.

“Lay down, babe,” Alex says tenderly, “I’m so horny for you right now, I need you so bad.”

Tobin slowly lays down, head on a pillow. Alex leans forward to bite her lip and then kiss her. Alex seeks Tobin’s hands as they kiss, tongues twisting, tasting each other. They join their fingers as Alex gently grinds her hips into Tobin’s, causing Tobin to moan into her mouth. 

As they kiss, Alex brings Tobin’s hands above her head and lays them on the pillow. She breaks their kiss, leaving Tobin breathless and grabs her handcuffs. She snaps them on Tobin’s wrists and ties another scarf to the chain between her hands. She grazes Tobin’s mouth with her breasts, Tobin feeling them and then her tongue darts out to lick her nipple. Alex keeps her chest there as Tobin begins to suck at it, swirling it in her mouth. Her tongue, so talented, increasing the pressure and then backing off to lick and bite playfully. 

Alex affixes the scarf to the brass headboard, tying it to leave Tobin’s arms above her head, lying flat on the pillow. Tobin doesn’t offer up any resistance to this. They’ve played around like this before, but Alex hasn’t blindfolded and tied her up at the same time. 

Tobin’s feeling a surge of adrenalin, she can’t get enough of Alex, she wishes she would have taken her first. She tests the strength of the scarf, her hands are bound by the handcuffs, she’s helpless. She bucks her hips into Alex’s and they both moan. She feels the weight shift and Alex move back to straddle her. They grind into each other, the moisture growing between their legs, the movements slow, agonizingly slow for Tobin. Clit on clit, working each other up.

Tobin can feel Alex’s fingers trailing down her arms, to her shoulders, massaging her neck a little as they continue to meet at their very cores. Then she feels hands on her breasts, a low moan escaping from her lips, Alex leaning down again, her hips off Tobin. Tobin jerks her hips to find her, but Alex is too high off, teasing her. 

“Lex,” she breathes out, trying to move her hands but knowing it’s useless. 

“Baby, I’m right here,” Alex says, her hot breath on her neck. Alex dives in, biting her collarbone and smothering it with a kiss, sucking on it. It’s amazing to Tobin how her senses are heightened by the blindfold, every touch sizzles her skin, every kiss, so intense. 

She feels the mattress move as Alex kneels over her, her dripping core over Tobin’s head. “Make me come hard,” Alex says as she lowers herself to Tobin’s mouth. Tobin licks her soaking folds, lapping up her sweet juices as she circles her clit. Alex leans forward and grips the brass rail in front of her tightly. 

This is one of Alex’s favorite ways to get off, she’s moving her hips, grinding into Tobin’s face as Tobin inserts her tongue into her opening. Then she slowly moves forward, hips rising so Tobin can suck on her, making her squirm and moan loudly. She comes quickly because she was too far gone when they started, anticipating what was coming next. 

She kneels back, gasping and looking down at Tobin, still blindfolded, panting as she catches her breath. She stares at her as she comes down, memorizing every detail of Tobin, how her forehead is furrowed, her mouth hanging open, how she occasionally fights against the handcuffs, her strong muscles flexing. 

She wants to remember this forever. 

She moves down Tobin’s body, hands on her, lightly trailing over her face, neck, chest and those rigid abdominals of hers. She grabs a damp washcloth and tenderly wipes her face, removing her own juices from Tobin’s soft skin. “That was wonderful, babe,” Alex says as she leans in to kiss her. Tobin responds aggressively, forcing herself into Alex’s mouth, Alex instantly feeling her hunger. 

“Baby, I need you,” Tobin pleads, her uneven voice rising in octave, “Please, touch me.”

Alex lets out a chuckle, “Oh, I’m going to do more than just touch you,” she says as she massages Tobin’s breasts, “I’m going to make you come so hard you won’t know what is going on,” she tweaks her nipples as she slowly settles in between Tobin’s legs. Tobin sighs, anticipating Alex’s touch, her hips wiggle to get into a comfortable position. 

Alex kneels back, massaging Tobin’s thighs. She scoots back and gets off the bed. 

“Lex?” Tobin questions, “What are you doing?” Her head is up and moving side to side, trying to figure out where she is. 

“I’m here,” Alex coos, as she grabs a couple of more scarves, “I’m not leaving you,” 

Tobin huffs and struggles with the handcuffs, “Lex,” she moans, her hips rising. 

Alex takes a hold of Tobin’s right ankle, wrapping the scarf around it and then tying it to the footboard. She repeats the motion so now Tobin is completely immobile. She struggles a little, testing the scarves. 

“You okay, babe,” Alex asks, she doesn’t want her to get scared or anything, “is this okay?” 

Tobin swallows thickly and nods, “yeah,” she says, her voice rough. 

“Okay,” Alex replies as she mounts the bed, slowly licking Tobin’s leg as she goes. She lays in between her legs, sucking on Tobin’s inner thigh. Tobin can’t help herself from moaning at the sensation. Alex brings her face to Tobin’s core, it’s dripping wet, leaking on the bed, running down her thighs a little. Alex licks her juices before trailing her tongue around her clit, Tobin gasping and bringing her head forward involuntarily. 

Alex begins to suck on Tobin knowing she won’t last long, not after all of the teasing she’s been doing to her. Tobin’s voice is getting louder as Alex speeds up the circling and then starts to suck, taking Tobin’s clit in her mouth, raking her teeth over it and then sucking with all she’s got. 

She can feel Tobin’s legs straining against her restraints, keeping her tethered to the bed. “Oh, Lex,” she exclaims, her breathes coming in short pants, “Please, keep going,” she begs. Alex does, continuing to alternate between sucking and using her teeth, careful not to hurt her. 

“Uuuhh!” Tobin exclaims, nearly yelling out as the orgasm rushes over her. Alex moves back and brings her fingers to Tobin’s opening, gently circling it as Tobin’s hips buck uncontrollably. She’s panting and moaning, overcome from the intensity. 

Alex is wet from witnessing this, looking up as she strokes Tobin’s opening before gently sliding a finger in her. Tobin slams back into the mattress, hips swinging wildly upwards. “Oh,” she cries, “Lex, wait,” she begs. "Ah!" she cries out. 

Alex doesn’t wait. She leans over and takes the strapless dildo in her hand. She knows she so wet she won’t need any lube. She’s positive Tobin won’t need any. She opens Tobin up more, her circles growing larger so she can take the dildo. Alex moans as she inserts it into herself, feeling the fullness as it slides into place. 

Alex crawls up a few inches so she’s in place and slowly guides the dildo over Tobin’s clit. Alex looks up when she hears the sharp intake of breath and sees Tobin’s mouth open in an ‘o’ as she realizes what’s happening. 

“Oh, God,” she cries as Alex slowly moves the head into her opening, teasing as she adds more pressure to enter her. She enters her slowly, watching Tobin’s face contort as she accepts the member. “Uuuhhh,” she moans, arching her back as Alex continues to get about halfway into her. 

Alex leans forward and slowly begins to move her hips forward, pausing before retreating and then moving forward again and again and again. She lays her body full on Tobin’s, using her hands to caress her breasts, reaching above to grab her biceps. She brings her head forward and kisses Tobin passionately. Tobin breaks away because she’s panting, losing herself in the feeling. 

“Fuck,” Tobin growls as her hips move in time with Alex’s, setting a slow, steady pace. She’s on edge, waiting to explode again any minute. She’s never felt this, like she could come so soon again coming so hard. Alex seems to sense it and slows her pace, drawing out the exquisite feeling. 

They move quietly against each other, hips meeting, moans increasing. Alex feels the rubber ridges of the dildo against her clit, rocking against it every time she enters Tobin. “Babe, you feel so good,” she moans as she continues to glide into her. 

“I love you,” Tobin pants, as she cranes her head forward, seeking Alex. Alex kisses her, their tongues meeting, twisting, before she leans back and stops her movements. She withdraws from Tobin, watching as fluid leaks out as the dildo leaves. 

“Lex?” Tobin questions moving her head again. 

“Hang on, babe,” Alex assures her. She gets off the bed and releases the bonds on Tobin’s ankles. “Roll over, sweetheart.” 

Tobin rolls over and lays on her stomach. Alex moves the pillow from her face. “Scooch up a little,” Alex commands, sliding the pillow under Tobin’s hips and belly. She lays down on her, skin on skin as she guides the dildo into her from behind. 

“Ooohhh!” Tobin loudly moans as she accepts the full length of the dildo, freezing for a moment to get used to the sensation. 

Alex pauses, as much as she needs to keep moving, she needs to drive into Tobin, make her scream out in pleasure, she waits, giving her lover time to adjust. She sways her hips as she slowly begins to move. Her hands find Tobin’s breasts, squeezing them rhythmically as she thrusts into her, clenching her ass every time she gets fully into Tobin. She can feel her orgasm threatening, the sights and sounds of Tobin in ecstasy sending her closer and closer to her own sweet release. Sle forces herself to maintain this slow and steady pace, moving her hands all over Tobin, seeking new places to her kiss her back and neck. 

Tobin’s slid upward from the force of the thrusts, the handcuffs making a metallic noise against the brass headboard. She grips it tightly, her knuckles white. She’s panting again, edging closer and closer to her own release, feeling helpless underneath Alex but loving the sensations of her touch. Alex sucks on her neck, licks her ear, bathing it with her insistent tongue. 

Alex picks up the pace and begins to thrust harder making Tobin cry out with every moment. Both women are sweaty messes, bodies gliding together as Alex moans as she feels her hips snap sharply. She moves her arms and pushes Tobin to her knees, grabbing her hips and begins to slam into her. 

“Aahh,” Tobin cries, “babe!” as a high pitched moan strangles itself out of her mouth. Her hands are braced against the headboard, knees planted on the mattress, feeling every inch of the dildo as Alex kicks it up to another level, skin slapping on skin. Alex is moaning as well with each thrust as her clit is over stimulated. She continues her thrusting, the feeling of her clit rubbing against the dildo is making her crazy. She knows Tobin is close, if not already beginning her own orgasm. 

Tobin’s neck cranes forward, chin on her chest, crying out uncontrollably. Her knees begin to shake as Alex continues moving, she’s collapsing forward but Ale is gripping her tightly, holding her up as her body is tingling uncontrollably. Her legs are spasming, twitching every time the dildo hits her right in that amazing spot. The wave of heat hits her, she lets out a cross between a moan and a scream, she can’t control anything, she’s at Alex’s mercy. She can’t take anymore, she thinks she's crying, it feels so amazing, she’s overwhelmed by the sensations and just when she tries to say stop, Alex collapses on her, sending both of them to the mattress with loud moans. 

Both of them are wheezing from their exertions, sweat dripping off their bodies. Heavy breathing fills the room as they both feel the aftershocks shooting through them. When Alex feels she can move, slides off Tobin onto her side, reaching up and removes the blindfold from Tobin’s head. 

Tobin’s eyes are shut, she’s still panting, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Sweat glistening on her face, cheeks red from the exertion. Alex stares at her as she pants as well, slowly removing the dildo from her, feeling her juices flowing out on her thighs. 

Tobin’s eyes open in slits, “You...trying...to....kill...me?" She slowly grins. 

Alex grins back at her, “What,” she pants, “a way to go.” She smirks. 

They stare at each other as their breathing slowly returns to normal. “You’re incredible,” Tobin says softly. 

“You’re pretty amazing,” Alex smiles at her. She leans over and kisses her gently. Tobin's eyes shut. “I’m exhausted,” she moans, her hands still restrained by the handcuffs. 

Alex sighs as she slowly, unsteadily getting to her knees. She reaches over for the keys on the nightstand and frees Tobin from the cuffs. Tobin’s hands limply fall back on the mattress. 

“Come on, babe,” Alex says, rubbing Tobin’s back, “Let’s take a shower so we can go to bed.” 

“Sleep,” Tobin moans, her eyes still closed. 

“Come on, you can’t sleep here, it’s all wet and you’re gross and sweaty just like I am.” Alex complains. 

“Alright,” Tobin groans, slowly moving her legs to get off the bed. 

They saunter to the bathroom, Tobin turning on the water and entering the shower. Alex joins her and they kiss softly under the water. 

Tobin points at her, perking up a little, “No funny business from you,” she warns, “we’re just showering.”  


Alex laughs at her, “Me?” she points to herself, “That’s rich coming from you, horndog! The Queen of Shower Sex.” 

“Well,” Tobin says as she runs her fingers through her wet hair and grabs a washcloth, “Your Royal Highness has had enough and couldn’t possibly do anything else this evening. I’m lucky I can stand after that.” 

Alex arches an eyebrow as she nudges Tobin aside to get under the water, “Thought you were in your sexual prime, babe,” she smirks. 

“I am.” Tobin declares, nudging her aside to rinse the soap from herself, “but you nearly killed me tonight and I need to recover.” 

“Well,” Alex says as she elbows Tobin to fight for some hot water, “you nearly killed me with how you move those hips of yours.” 

Tobin grins as she backs away from Alex, “No, no, no,” she says as she scrubs in between her legs with her washcloth, wincing a little, “I know this is how you start,” she shakes her head. 

“I’m not starting anything.” Alex smiles taking a step towards her, massaging her breasts playfully with her washcloth. 

“Yes, you’re doing it right now!” Tobin exclaims eyes wide, sliding past her to get under the water and finish rinsing off, back to her. 

“I’m not doing anything,” Alex says innocently as she brings her washcloth lower, moaning a little at the contact. 

“That’s it, I’m outta here,” Tobin exclaims as she draws the curtain back and steps out, “I’ll see you in the spare room.” She says as Alex laughs. 

 

When Alex glides into the room fully satisfied with herself over how she teased Tobin, Tobin is already in bed, Stosh on her chest, the two having a stare down. 

“Hey Stosh,” Alex greets as she slides onto bed. 

“He’s mad,” Tobin states as she continues to stare at him. “We’re taking his bed.” 

“Stosh,” Alex says, “your Mama made a mess in the other room, is it okay of we sleep with you tonight?” she asks sweetly. Tobin snorts at that. 

Stosh looks at her and then back at Tobin. He makes a chiffing noise and leaps off the bed. 

Alex and Tobin look at each other and break into laughter. “I wasn’t imagining that, was I?” Tobin giggles, “Like, he responded, right?” 

“Totally,” Alex agrees, giggling as well, “he wasn’t real happy about it either.” 

Alex slides over and Tobin wraps an arm around her. She lays her head on Tobin’s chest, one hand grazing Tobin’s belly. “I love you.” She sighs, as a wave of tiredness hits her. She feels Tobin kiss the top of her head, “I love you, too, babe.” Tobin says, shifting to get comfortable. “I really do.” 

Sleep finds them quickly. 

 

 

 

They’re snuggled together under a blanket on a chaise lounge on the patio, looking at ocean as the sun sets. The sky is blazing and bursting with colors. Tobin’s arms wrapped around Alex, their legs tangled together. Alex leans her head back onto Tobin’s chest. 

“This is beautiful,” she sighs as the colors grow more intense as the sun sinks lower. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees. She clears her throat. “Lex?” she questions. 

“Yeah?” Alex answers, tilting her head and shifting over so she can see Tobin’s face. 

“Thank you for taking the time off to come and do this,” Tobin says, rubbing a hand on her arm. 

“It’s been wonderful.” Alex smiles, “I’ve loved every minute.” 

Tobin smiles at her. “Even when Kelley interrogated you and asked your intentions with me?” 

Alex smiles wide, remembering the incident. “Oh yeah,” she says, “absolutely!” 

“You know we can’t stop her,” Tobin giggles, “we can only hope to contain her.” 

“You know what my favorite part of this whole trip was?” Alex asks. 

“What was it?” Tobin inquires. 

“Waking up next to you every morning.” Alex says softly as she lifts her head to kiss Tobin softly. 

They sit in silence for a few minutes and then Alex feels Tobin tense up under her. 

“So, babe,” Tobin says quietly, clearing her throat, “I only have about five weeks left of off season. When preseason starts, it’s going to be different.” Alex can hear the nervousness in Tobin’s voice. 

“Well,” Alex says as she leans her head back and slowly rubs her hand on Tobin’s quad under the blanket, “I would imagine you’ve got triples for preseason and then you’re hosting the tournament, right?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies. 

“Well, what if I stayed at your place a few days during triples and you can spend off days at my place?” she suggests. 

“That would work,” Tobin agrees, “but, what are we going to do when the season starts?” she asks. 

Before Alex can answer, Tobin begins again. “I mean, I’ll be travelling, getting in late, sleeping all the time, I’ll be at practice and then there’s media and sponsors and stupid dinners and” 

“Tobin,” Alex says and pinches her leg. Tobin stops to take a breath. “Tobin, we’ll work it out, okay?” she shifts her position so she can look at her. Tobin is staring down, biting her lip, her shoulders slumped. 

“Sweetheart,” Alex says tenderly, “we’ll be okay.” 

Tobin looks at her, tears threatening to spill, “I just don’t want to mess this up. You mean so much to me, I don’t want to fuck it up.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m so scared I’ll fuck it up.” She whispers, her voice wavering with panic as a tear rolls down her cheek. 

Alex looks at her. Then she throws the blanket off and gets up from the lounge chair. She extends a hand to Tobin, who looks bewildered. “Get up,” Alex insists, tugging on her hand. Tobin stands next to her. 

“Listen, nothing is going to get fucked up.” Alex states as she wipes the tears from Tobin’s face. “We both have unique jobs. You will travel for periods of time, I will get called out at a moment’s notice. This will happen. We know it will.” 

She smiles at her. “It won’t get fucked up Tobin. We will talk, you’ll know your schedule and we’ll work accordingly. The only thing changing is you won’t be cooking me dinner until preseason is over and your regular practice schedule starts.” She smiles at her. 

Tobin is nodding as she speaks. “Okay, alright, yeah, you’re right.” She breathes. 

“Okay?” Alex questions, holding Tobin’s face in her hands. “We’ll Facetime, text, email, whatever,” she says and kisses her softly, “We’ll be okay. I trust you.” 

Tobin swallows and nods her head, “Yeah, we’ll be okay,” she repeats. She takes a deep breath and straightens up, standing tall. “We’ll talk, we’ll be fine. Others can do it, so can I.” 

Alex grins at her, “You’re gonna be the best at it.”

“So are you,” Tobin says pulling her into her arms. She squeezes her and begins to rub her back. “I have faith in our future, Lex, I just got scared.” 

“It’s okay to get scared,” Alex says kissing her jaw, “but look at you, talking about your feelings,” she says jokingly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin laughs, swinging her around, feet off the ground. “I’m must be getting soft and mushy.” 

“I can’t wait to mushy with you,” Alex grins, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“I can’t wait to spend each day with you,” Tobin says, slowing setting her down on the ground, “for as long as you’ll have me.” She kisses her tenderly. 

“I can’t wait either, babe.” Alex agrees, kissing her back. 

“Let’s ride this adventure together.” Tobin grins, squeezing her again. 

Alex grips Tobin’s ass and pulls her close, “I’ll give you something to ride,” she smirks. 

Tobin lets out a belly laugh, “Oh, look who’s the horndog now?” 

They walk arm and arm into the beach house, knowing they need to pack to get back to Portland and begin the rest of their lives together. 

Fini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad to let this one go, to be honest. I liked this story. May revisit it in the future. Got another one in the hopper as we speak. We'll see how much I can crank out before the holidays. I'm warning you though, it's dark and sad and it's a terrible subject to cover, but once the idea hooked me, it snowballed. I saw something there and we'll see how close I can bring the vision to life. Of course, it will include a love story as well. Redemption of sorts. We'll see. 
> 
> Anyway, my profuse thanks to you all for your encouragement. 
> 
> Now, let's have a little fun, okay? Tell me your favorite parts? What did you like? 
> 
> What part of this relationship did you enjoy the best? 
> 
> What secondary characters did you enjoy? 
> 
> Favorite chapter? 
> 
> Be gentle on this one, please, but what maybe didn't you like so much? Was it the God thing? The drug thing? The smut thing? 
> 
> Your input will help me shape the next story. I'm not on Tumblr or anything, so this is the only way I'll hear your thoughts and important opinions. 
> 
> Again, many thanks for all the support. 
> 
> Peace out for a while and oh yeah, let's kick Canada's ass! 
> 
> MT


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